Frisson fading fast

[helenr]

Frisson is a, as expected, a French word that can mean a moment of intense excitement, a shiver. I first saw this word in a very literate book by a transsexual-can't remember the title, but it was an older person who transitionied and described the experiences associated. I am borrowing her word.
I use it here as I find, not terribly surprising, but a bit of a shock, alas, that my medications and herbs are working all too well. I am pleased to be spared frustrating male libido and that what goes with it, but when you can't 'get it up'-even with effort-it does become a bit of a shock. Of course, stop the meds, and the nasty T will often return and back to before, but I don't want that modus vivendi.
I am OK with things, just it is nice to still have a functional remote control and then when the battery apparently dies, it is a surprise. I wonder how others have experienced this?

[Melissa A.]

I guess it depends on what you're looking to accomplish. I have no need for anything to work, and I couldn't be more pleased that my remote control isn't just lost; It got pulverised. And with the current equipment, at least, there is absolutely no need for it to work as intended. To me, the perfect storm of side effects :)

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Dawn D.]

I kinda get what your saying Helen. I haven't missed a thing as far as my libido. I do however, have sympathy for my dear wife. She says she is quite alright about it, yet, it's a feeling that I can't quite shake.

As for the remote. Something weird happened there for me. I turned it over to my wife a couple years ago, and she is now in command of it, lol! Haven't missed it either, hehe.


Dawn

[dawnmarrie1961]

Helen,
"Kay Sa Ra Sa Ra! What ever will be will be!" I don't know what language the "Kay Sa Ra sa Ra" part is but Doris Day certainly got it right on the rest of it. Although I'm sure she wasn't talking about transition and hormone replacement. But those time tested " What ever will be will be " words are so relevant here! Often what we want from HRT is not what we eventually get! Just like the women we so desperately seek to emulate our bodies change at their own pace and according to genetic blue prints which differ from person to person. Thus "What ever will be will be"!


Be safe. Be smart.

Dawn Marrie

[helenr]

thanks for comments. I feel overall content with being an 'inbetweener' of sorts-certainly not female, not much of a male sexually now. I really would be happy to be rid of the ugly testicles. don't do me a bit of good and interfere with a smooth front. Maybe some day I will take a vacation to Thailand to sightsee and leave some useless parts behind.

[melissaK]

LOL. New meaning to lost luggage.

hugs.
'lissa

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i wouldnt be happy to leave my libido totally behind..

so far my experience and also those of my friends in town is that libido is decreased but still there...

i've still never had truly pleasurable sex, as i've never had a vagina.
of course an orgasm feels good, but more like an anxiety release instead of real pleasure

as I started HRT,
one thing my doctor told me is use it or lose it...

there is no reason to let your sexdrive disappear because you are forced to use a penis that you dont want.

my hope is that when i do the big surgery (next year)...i'll get a good result and be able to enjoy sexual pleasure just like any other woman

[pamela_a]

Very well put Kaitlyn and I very much agree with you.

Just because I have the wrong instrument doens't mean I can't play it. I just know I'd get more satisfaction playing a different one.

[helenr]

I love the lost luggage comment. Re female orgasms, I read once that-according to that writer- many women need to learn to identify, associate with pleasure- their orgasms. I am sure this is hugely individual-some young women maybe find out about the 'man in the boat' at a tender age and have highly attuned orgasmic pleasure, but then I hear that many women in their 40's-60's have never had an orgasm! Again, the business about 'identifying' it--not quite so apparent as when a male ejects semen!
I do find it somewhat amusing that some pursuing SRS who want to enjoy sex with a male will privately adjust their meds so they don't have a 'use it or lose it' situation-plus want as much tissue as available for penis accomodation. Gets very complicated, doesn't it.

[Teri Jean]

For some the lost luggage is great and I applaud them for taking that flight, now someone please book me the same flight.LOL At least let me know which Airlines you used?

Teri

[kellycan27]

I do find it somewhat amusing that some pursuing SRS who want to enjoy sex with a male will privately adjust their meds so they don't have a 'use it or lose it' situation-plus want as much tissue as available for penis accomodation. Gets very complicated, doesn't it.

Only for ignorant people with simple minds. The only reason we might need more tissue to accomodate penis size is if penis size actually matched ones imagination. being that it probably doesn't, 99 % probably don't have to worry about it.

[helenr]

Kelly, this issue about future vagina size and the risks that an orchi (performed well in advance) will effectively result in major penis shrinkage, is directly from SRS surgeons who wish to produce the best outcome. You are snippy to comment as you do, but that seems a bit of your style.I think you need to grow up a bit.

[Stephanie Heplby]

"Kay Sa Ra Sa Ra! What ever will be will be!" I don't know what language the "Kay Sa Ra sa Ra" part is but Doris Day certainly got it right on the rest of it.

Just a quick note to say: spanish.

Que sera sera.

Translation: What will be will be.

[kellycan27]

Kelly, this issue about future vagina size and the risks that an orchi (performed well in advance) will effectively result in major penis shrinkage, is directly from SRS surgeons who wish to produce the best outcome. You are snippy to comment as you do, but that seems a bit of your style.I think you need to grow up a bit.

The fact that you find our plight humorous was what elicited my "snippy " response. How would you feel if I laughed at you for your attempt to be whatever? If you grow up...so will I. You have been a member of this forum long enough to know that being laughed at and ridiculed are a couple of chief things that both cross dressers and TS people find so hurtful, and are probably the two most common reasons that they stay hidden. I am fully aware of the relationship that shrinkage and SRS share in conjunction with vaginal depth. I don't see anything humorous in any one's attempt to make sure that SRS results in a satisfying sexual experience for for them as well as their partner. On second thought could maybe what you find humorous is that we go through this in order that we may be able to have sex with a "man"? Either way one would think that no matter where you see yourself in the gender spectrum or in regards to your sexuality or lack of.. you would be more compassionate and understanding with regards to other people. It may seem ridiculous to you, but for a lot it is a very real concern.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Actually when I said "use it or lose it" i was referring to the fact that for women that started their sexual lives as men, the loss of libido can be confused with the loss of the ability to acheive orgasms.

The fact that many of us know that our erections can sometimes be painful, that many of us lose our long time lovers due to our transitions,
and many girls really HATE HATE their penis's makes this situation even trickier and leaves a long trail of sexually frustrated and disappointed women. I've mentioned this before, I've talked to 2 SRS surgeons that have done hundreds of surgeries..outside of medical complications, both told me that the #1 complaint post srs is the inability to acheive orgasm. BTW..#2 is dilation and #3 is cosmetic..

I'd love to hear feedback on this from the women here that have had GRS surgery.

Making myself whole is by far my 1A priority, and if it turns out than I'm not able to orgasm once I have my right parts, then I will have to deal with it.
I'll be darned if I'm going to give in to that easily, and I personally beleive (after being told this by others) that keeping the ability to orgasm as current as possible gives me the best chance of having a pleasurable sex life as a woman.
ie....use it or lose it.. :o