should I

[marny]

The whole family is coming in for a wedding this weekend. I want to come out but I know its the wrong time. duh! but the urge is there. Advice welcomed. :love:

[2B Natasha]

What kind of advice do you need?

My only question, which isn't advice at all is. Do you really want to upstage a wedding? Considering the whole family is coming there I assume the marrying couple is at least part family. Do you want to be roundly hated by the couple for the rest of your life for upstaging them on there weekend?

What about the rest of the people coming to the wedding? What exactly do you think they will talk about when they go home? What will be the topic of conversation when they get their photo's back of there day?

My advice. Get a reality check. It's someone else's day, let them have it and behave yourself. It's there day, celebrate them, it's not yours.

Well. You asked.

[Ras]

I agree...you do NOT want to upstage the wedding and draw attention to yourself. This is NOT your weekend find another time to do so.

[Tanya C]

You've kept it secret this long so it won't kill you to wait until a future date.

[Christina Horton]

Well if you need to come out now do it after the wedding before every one goes home so you don't steel the "show". There is never the best time something is always going to get in the way. But like the other girls have said , don't pull focus away form the wedding and maybe wait like I said until after, like the next day before they all leave. Just my :2c:

[CamilleLeon]

There's a time and place to come out to everyone. Only you can understand how your fiance/family will take the news, however I will say keep in mind that your SO probably expects yall's wedding day to be something special

[kellycan27]

There's a time and place to come out to everyone. Only you can understand how your fiance/family will take the news, however I will say keep in mind that your SO probably expects yall's wedding day to be something special

I don't think that the OP is the one getting married,but if they were wouldn't it be a hoot for both of them to be brides? That would indeed make the day quite special... well if not special, at the very least memorable:heehee:

[Holly]

My advice? Don't. It would be the height of selfishness.

[sheidelmeidel]

I'm with Holly and the others. It would be an utterly selfish and stupid thing to do.

[sterling12]

Overall Consensus is "DON'T!" This comes from rich and poor, saint and sinner, and when they chime in; probably from female and male too.

Isn't this telling you something?

Peace and Love, Joanie

[baby beluga]

be a bizarro version of michael scott (see: the office season 3 episode 16 - phyllis's wedding) by getting a bridesmaid dress then stand up in the front with the rest of the bridesmaids and pretend everything is normal.

[PortiaHoney]

Well Marny,

I wouldn't suggest using someone elses special day to make such an announcement unless you want to make enemies and have a whole bunch of people who would normally be supportive absolutely turn on you.

If you are determined to announce your intentions to everyone at the same time - why don't you have a coming out party for yourself?

Myself, I did it one on one, each person or family at a time. You'll find a lot better response that way. You can also answer questions better and honestly and not feel overwhelmed.

But, it's your choice. I say not a good idea. Make that, it's a bad idea.

But, do have fun. I know that feeling of wanting to dress for a party - but it's only ok if you are already out.

:-) Portia :-)

[Karren H]

I just love a delima!! So how close are you to the bride and goom? If you don't like them very much..... Maybe not AT the wedding but how about the reception?

[S. Lisa Smith]

Don't do it...it's someone else's day.

[Sandra]

No don't so it, it's very selfish and how you can even think about doing when there's a wedding is beyond me. It is the brides special day and you doing this would take all that away from her.

[Nikki A.]

If the bride and groom know and approve I might say go for it, but this is the bride's special day and I would have to agree that this is not the time or place.
I did go to a "wedding" dressed, but it was a lesbian ceremony and there were others who were FTM and bigendered. I also asked and made sure that it was okay with the brides, and her family. Big difference.

[Elizebeth]

It is the brides day do not upstage her.

[claire2454]

Like everyone else .............................NO
you will only set your family against you if you come out,,,,make it other day/weekend:2c:

[bound_cd_bianca]

This is not really advice but more of a suggestion . Why not wait till your birthday . It will be the ideal day to do it since it will your day and let the bride enjoy hers .

Bianca

[Ugly Michele]

I will chime in with a no, due to the fact that it could make the wedding a very sad day for the couple. If the family quits talking would be always known as the day the family got torn apart. If goes well no problem but no way to tell ahead of time.

[Kerigirl2009]

You should NOT give that type of news on such a special day. Imagine the memories- The sun, the dress, oh yea and the announcement. NO don't even think about it. That would be a poor choice of timing. Find a better time to out yourself to family. Say Christmas at least those memories can be replaced with new memories.

[Katesback]

I see a lot of discussion about comming out to people. This makes me think a bit and I have a recurring question that I have to ask, WHY do you feel compelled to tell them?

The reason I ask this is say you are planning to live full time as a woman. Now that makes sense to me to tell people. On the other hand say you present a woman 1% of the time and its only in certain environments (gay bars for example). If that is the case I have to ask the question as to why do relatives need to know about your CD aspects. Is the next thing we have to tell people are sex life? LOL

I guess the point is you have to ask yourself what is the benefit of telling people? If all they are ever going to see is a guy then it seems pointless to tell them about the secret girl.

KAtie

[KayC]

Just my two cents:
Absolutely NOT!! How selfish is that?! This should be about the bride and groom, not about you! Everything that happens at this time should be all about the bride and groom and anything that takes away from that is in extremely poor etiquette and form! (In the olden days, women did not wear white to a wedding as it took away from the bride, it was HER place to wear white...although that tradition has altered somewhat, the principle is still a good one)

[Karren H]

Awww. Come on.... It might just make a some what...... same old boring wedding more memorable? "Remember when Uncle Mike came out of the closet........ During the cerimony..... He was wearing such a pretty dress". Yeah.. Maybe even win $10,000 on AFV!! Or end up on Cops.. Depending on the reception...

[Christina Horton]

Awww. Come on.... It might just make a some what...... same old boring wedding more memorable? "Remember when Uncle Mike came out of the closet........ During the ceremony..... He was wearing such a pretty dress". Yeah.. Maybe even win $10,000 on AFV!! Or end up on Cops.. Depending on the reception...

Funny thing Karren to my sisters kid I am Uncle Mike......funny thing eh!!!

[jenna_woods]

to me this is not the time to come out, why do this to someone's else's wedding, please think this over well.

[EveMarie]

I agree not to do it at the wedding, but then who would even notice at the reception:eek:
and beside everyone will be to drunk to remember anyway, just watch out for the ones who try and pick you up :heehee:


(best country voice… "all the girls look better at closing time…")

hugs sweetie and have fun whatever you decide, Evie

[sherri52]

After the wedding if you feel strongly about it do it. Wait until after the reception or after the bride and groom have left. You don't want to take away from thier special day.

[marny]

Thank you all. Very good advice. I will not impose on their day. I guess you need to look at it from the other side and think how it would affect you, and you all made me think that way. Thank You

[busker]

Marny,
(sounds like a good movie title)
If you do, maybe Alfed Hitchcock can supply you with some black birds to make the scene complete. then everyone will have something to crow about.
Mandrake out of water

[Melinda G]

It's not always about you. Try not to steal the show.:doh:

[MaryAnn40c]

You could come out to your family durring the wedding but in privite.

[Vicki-Z]

Definately not the right time honey. I would hold off for a more appropriate time. You don't know how your family will react. You also might want to think about telling them on an individual basis rather than all at once.