Did I quit?

[PetiteDuality]

I don't know what is going on with me.

During the last year, I had very urgent need to dress as a woman and feel feminine. I was obsessed about shaving my whole body, getting clothes, breast forms, etc.

Then, I did all that: I shaved my body, dressed a lot, got a Veronica 2, breast forms...

And I was disappointed. The illusion was pretty fake. I do not look as a woman and I never will. My shaved body doesn't look feminine. Looks like a guy without hair. Even my legs, that I used to be very proud about, they look manly to me.

But I'm not depressed or disappointed by all that. I just think it's weird. But I'm also kind of relieved.

Now I enjoy more my male look. I try to look good as a guy, and I'm happy like that.

I don't feel like dressing anymore. My life is lot easier this way. I just hope the pink fog don't return anymore.

I'm exercising a lot lately (lifting weight, jogging). Maybe it has to do with that.

Has it ever happened to you?

[meri]

PD,
I don't look a bit like a woman when dressed, just a guy in woman's clothing. I had a similar reaction as you did and was pretty much turned off. I view it as a reality check. I still have an interest in the feminine and feminine clothing, but my approach now is to integrate some items into my life as a male as opposed to trying to look like a female.

I have a nice skirt and kilt collection which in my opinion compliment male clothing. For instance, a skirt works very well with a blazer.

People find me a bit odd, but it's my choice and my challenge to dress as I choose.

So, if the pink fog strikes again, first thing to do is accept that you are as you are and that you are OK with yourself. Then, see if you can channel the energy into blending and integrating feminine things instead of attempting to "become" feminine.

[Kate Simmons]

The most important thing is being youself, my friend, whoever that "self" happens to be.:)

[TJ Tresa]

Just be true to you

[Brittany North]

I feel that way sometimes too. The reality is that I'll never be the pretty girl that I want to be. But, that's true of a lot of people of any gender.

For me, there's two issues. One is negative body image and self esteem, which I'm working on. The second (and this causes/reinforces the first) is that I am in fact fat and present myself negatively. So, I'm working on fixing that which will make me happier with myself generally.

I think whatever gets you to a happier place inside is a good thing. That includes dressing when you want to and not dressing when you don't want to.

[PetiteDuality]

Well, I'm trying to be truth to myself and embrace what I am... the thing is that I'm not what I used to be, and it takes some time to get used :)

Besides, I'm not sure if this is something permanent or it will go away after a while. All i want is stability. I don't want to be changing moods every time in a while about something as sensitive and as impacting in everyday life as crossdressing.

Has it ever happened to any of you?

I guess that if it was permanent, you'll probably wouldn't be reading this forum yet :D

[Karren H]

I do the same thing... Sometimes I look in the mirror and see this old guy with makeup on and wonder wtf are you doing? But luckily that goes away pretty quick.. and I totally enjoy being a guy most of the time.. Given the choice I'd rather go play ice hockey any day than go dress up.. Mater of fact I play more ice hockey lately than dressing.. Doesn't mean I'm any less a crossdresser.. In my mind..

[JenniferR771]

Karren is right. The mood comes and goes. But if I spot a cute pair of shoes...

[Holly]

...I guess that if it was permanent, you'll probably wouldn't be reading this forum yet :DThere's a lot of truth in this little jest :). Petite, I can't say what is happening to you has happened to me before. Oh, I've had moments, sometimes l-o-n-g moments when cross dressing was put on the back burner; times when I've asked myself just why am I doing this. But I've always come back. Why? I guess that's the million dollar question, isn't it? For me, I like the aroma of cosmetics as I apply them to myself. Lingerie feels more "right" than cotton briefs on my body. I enjoy being perceived as feminine because it is how I feel inside. It's the most natural state for me. It's not pretending to be something I am not (a full fledged member of the male fraternity).

Petite, if you are really happy doing what you are doing now, then ENJOY IT! But we are living beings and living things are continually changing. We explore and test and probe and inquire throughout our lifetimes. As you journey forward, be prepared to experience new things. Just don't be surprised if upon revisiting some things you come to find out, just as Dorothy did in the Wizard of Oz, that, "There's no place like home."

[Krista1985]

I've experimented with a couple different looks,

And like yourself all my results were visually disappointing. I have to face facts, I'm built like a line-backer not a ballerina. No amount of clothing, make-up, wigs, forms and shape-wear can change that. Nor would I want to, I'm satisfied with my male presentation, it's the result of a lot of hard work.

But that doesn't discourage me from pursuing girl-time.

For me the feeling is more important than the look. Maybe that's because I'm an all by myself, closet dresser. If I ever feel the need to open the front door and go out, I'm sure my appearance will take on a new significance. So until then I practice, and maybe one day get it 'right.'

When that day comes, cool. For now I'm happy to do it 'wrong.' :)

One final thought,

I too have periods of time, it's been weeks or sometimes months, without so much as an inkling of desire to dress. The notion even seems silly or unappealing. I used to think, 'well that's that, all done with being a CD' only to have the urge resurface. Now when it disappears I know it's temporary, and when it comes back I don't stand in my own way. So if you start to feel like dressing again, don't beat yourself up just roll with it. It can either be a source of great comfort, or the cause of intense pain.

[celeste26]

Petite I've gotten to the point where even in drab when I look in the mirror I see the girl in the mirror instead of the guy. Does that make me more of a TS I dont really know. Things change.

[charlie]

Hello Petite!
Yes, for about 17 years. Then the fog came back big time. Keep all those pretty things in a box in the garage. It will save you money in the long run.

[jenna_woods]

I think we all have been there at one time, I know I have, once I throw away all my female things and said that's the end om my dressing, BUT after a few mo's I was again buting a skirt, from that time on I know I could not deny my female side, its been over 10 years now and haven't looked back,If I was a betting girl I would say yes you will try it again,

[AlisonRenee]

At least in my own experience, it has a lot to do with choosing the right clothes.

I don't have the figure for the LBD, no matter how much I might wish otherwise. I've put on clothes that, when I looked in the mirror, just made me feel silly - took them off and didn't dress again for awhile.

Then, I've got some outfits that draw attention to their own shape and away from mine - and in those, I feel so much differently.

A simple A-line skirt hides the fact that I don't have a girl's fanny and hips. Moderate heels give me a lift in the backside without being over the top. That A-line skirt, above the knee, highlights what I do have - which is pretty nice legs.

For me, layering helps - a blazer that's nipped in at the waist covers a multitude of sins, and adds a nice splash of color.

Put me in a slinky, clingy dress and I look like a guy in a dress. I've learned to avoid that - helps me a lot.

[PetiteDuality]

Well, I have tried different layering and styles. It just doesn't look right.

But, how did all this change got started?

Well, I was overweight. A chubby CD. I started to exercise and eat better, and get much slimmer. Not for the looks, just for health.

Then and after hard work I got pretty slim, flat stomach, slim arms. I looked much more feminine, just what I've ever dreamed. And then: I panicked!!!

I was not happy with the girly look!!! I enjoyed the more feminine look (well, maybe just slightly more feminine), which was not enough to pass, but enough to make me look too thin as a man.

I started to lift weights, my body got more masculine, and I started to feel more comfortable with my male body. Of course, it ruined my female look, I was mad about that, but then realized that it has never been that feminine after all, so I was not loosing that much. Perhaps, you just can't loose what you never had.

The rest, has already described in this thread...

I'm gonna miss the female myself.

[girlalex]

hmm... trust me it will come back when you list expect it:love:

[sheidelmeidel]

Has it ever happened to you?


I think almost all of us go through various phases and incarnations with this hobby/habit. I doubt that you've "quit". But rest assured, you'll find out soon enough. :D