Are we freakin nuts or.....

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Enlightened in our pursuit of our "enfemme" side?????

I've been thinking about this for awhile now and it's bothering me some, but not a lot, but I wanted to put this out and see what some of you think about this....

I'm not talking about those of you who have gone and had medical proceedures to change your appearence, nor those of you who really are a female in a male body....I'm talking about those of us who are drawn into this lifestyle which to most it seems in a "one way ticket" in and no way out situation. Some go though great amounts of emotional distress and pain....all for this "being weird" and looking like "a guy in adress" as some would call us....we all go through a great deal of finding the right wig or breast forms or this dress or that dress and what size jeans or can my make up work better...all the stuff we do to look "enfemme". Are we weird or do we really possess some of the make up that women have...more than most men?

I'm sitting here typing this wearing a thong and a pair of heels...my "normal attire" when I'm home alone....I have two piecings in my ears tweeze my brows, paint my toenails 24/7 and had my first pedicure and brought my own polish to have them painted and wear panties and womans jeans 99% of the time. I've gone in drab and dressed to have make overs. I go out clubbing at least 2 - 3 times a month and have been out several times dressed to shop and have no quams about buying women's clothing...so I don't think I can be classified as hiding my "secret"...and if I do then I don't think I'm doing a very good job....

It seems that most of us once we get into dressing become addictive in some form shape or manner and can't stop. We progress from dressing at home secretively to telling our wives or SO's at risk of having the realtionship/marriage go south...yet we continue to dress...

From there we or some of us become bolder to the point of needing to step out the front door and go into the "real world" as a woman....in doing this we risk riducule, exposure of "outing ourselves" to people we might know and in doing so let "our little secret" out to the wolrd at large. Even better, we go to complete strangers who, if not at first glance, will at first voice will know we are no a female but a guy dressed as one. This is often called by sociaty in general as a guy in a dress or a weirdo or a freak...but we still go forth and let ourselves be labled as such.

Sure we go to the cosmetic counter or dress stores or shoe shops to purchase the latest and greatest womna's clothing for our own wearing and satisfaction...and these SA's all treat us (most of the time) as if we are jsut another customer i.e. "normal customer although we know and they know that this isn't "normal"...and I often wonder what they are really thinking while they are assisting us with a smile on their face and graciousness in their service....they even help us into the woman's dressing area and are there to fetch this and that article of clothing inorder for us to find that "just right outfit".

Don't get me wrong...we all enjoy this for those of us who have or are going out to shop and and enjoy that aspect of "being out". We go to clubs or out to eat or movies or other events as one of the girls...

I do enjoy all the things I've done outside as a girl, and I don't ever see myself stopping...in fact I see myself getting more and more bolder in what I do "enfemmed"....

But I ask myself this question. If I am doing this now and I know that it's very much not something that society in general will accept, approve or otherwise show much embracing for this life style, then why do we do it knowing that

A) 99.9% of us will never pass...

B) we do so with a fair amount of risk involved for some "yo yo" to decide to thump on the "pervert" just for fun....

C) we go to great lengths and expense to buy everyhting we can that will help us to achieve our best "girl look"...

Do we go through all we go through because we're "nuts" and have this "thing" we've just got to do...or maybe it's because we're different...different in a way that makes us "enlightened". We are truly special in the sense that we have come to terms and have accpeted this female side that exists in all men just as a male side exists in all females. Most of the human race never reaches the point of expressing there "other side" be it female or male....but we do. So I ask "why"? Why do we go out and become so attached to this lifestyle that it is not far from describing it as "addictive" and that's a term that I can say would possible apply to my involvement in dressing at this point. But I also would that I have also acknowledge the fact that I have a female side, I accept my female side and I validate it though my dressing...so for me to reach this point this place this existance for me is a evloutaionary process that I have reached though my ability of being enlightened to what my inner self is....and that is simply a male side and a female side of sellf and by embracing and accepting this fact I have brought myself to a place where I truly feel I am now a complete and whole person....and it's not as much of how I look outside to others as it is to how I feel inside to my self....

So if you have reached this point in reading what I have written, what are your thoughts about all of this???? How do you feel about yourself and dressing???

[Karren H]

Pesonally I feel just fine, thanks... And were not alone.. Look at body builders as an example? They do stuff to their bodies that amazes me.. And they are just as obsessed as we are.. Anyone who has an obsessive personalty that latches onto one thing they like to do will be doing the same thing and asking the same questions...

[Sherry-Stephanie]

So Karren, I take that as being one vote for "enlighten" as opposed to just being "nuts"????

[sheidelmeidel]

So Karren, I take that as being one vote for "enlighten" as opposed to just being "nuts"????

Not enlightened or nuts. Just happen to have an obsession that isn't particularly politically correct.

[tricia_uktv]

I may be nuts, but I'm also very happy. Isn't that all that matters?

[AlisonRenee]

Probably a lot of us are at least partly "wired for girl" from birth. I've long ago dismissed the idea that it's a fetish thing for me, I have a lot of girl traits that have always been here. They're here whether I dress or not and always have been. I've just learned to hide them effectively and live as a male.

So the question is - which part's real, the hairy guy with the well-hidden feelings, or the part that presents as a female on occasion and feels no small amount of relief when she's out?

[Kate Simmons]

Nuts? Yeah, most likely but since when does that stop us from having fun? Really, though I don't think we are any nuttier than the Otherkin, Little Girls, Furries or whatever else is out there unless, of course we take ourselves too seriously. That makes the real difference between doing something that is fun and being completely bonkers.:)

[AllieSF]

Let's see, where to start? Let's tackle your A, B and C question. I can only answer for myself, but also think that there are a lot of people out there that think similar to me. I dress considering your A, B and C because it gives me great joy. I have a lot of fun and am fortunately in a place in my life where I can actively pursue this side of me with minimal issues and problems, which are mostly logistical for me right now. Therefore, the risk and expense are worth it all. Just like if I took up snow skiing, or any other activity. So, no I am not nuts.

I am also not enlightened so much either. I could have joined this forum and read and read and been enlightened about this lifestyle with out actually participating in the activity. Yes, participating gives me better first hand knowledge, but participation is not always needed to learn something new and to correct some previous misconception.

I believe that all of us have both femine and masculine sides. For most men the masculine side dominates. However, in reality, so what? I find that worrying and questioning why we do something is only a sign that we may not be comfortable with what we are doing. I am comfortable with all of this, clearly enjoy doing it, don't know where it is going to take me, and only hope that it does not take me to that dreaded self questioning place where it then becomes an unwanted issue in my life. I happily chose to worry only about those things that I can and want to change. Those that I can not nor do not want to change, I will not worry about. Life is so much simpler and happier that way. Try it, you may like.

PS: Self acceptance is an important ingredient in being happy, especially with this particular hobby/activity.

[Lainie]

I used worry about this a lot, and never resolved it. Am I just increasing my comfort zone, or do I need progressively larger doses to get a buzz? Well, both explanations work pretty well. I really enjoy dressing en femme, and surely for a lot of the same reasons as GGs do--shopping, finding just the right combination, love of pretty clothes, .... But I'm definitely a man in a dress--no one would ever mistake me for a woman. I avoid going out where I will encounter people I know, but I'm continuing to push the envelope. Sooner or later ... What would happen if my co-workers & friends at church realize that I wear skirts & heels just for fun, have a large wardrobe, and am not just doing a one-off Halloween stunt? My friends are pretty open-minded, but my wife might just die of shame. Maybe I can stay "in the closet" and "out on the street and internet", but maybe not....

[Sherry-Stephanie]

AlliSF said:

Life is so much simpler and happier that way. Try it, you may like.

It's more of a pondering...a stopping at a point in time and looking back and then looking forward...but by no means am I worrying...trust me on that point.

Also, in using my term "enlightened" I think I need to clarify what my intent is in using that "term"....and it's this....

Are we as individuals who have decided to take on a female appearence and do so willingly have reached this point because we have become aware of and embraced a side of oursleves that is female and the dressing simply manifests itself in our female dressing....and we as human beings since we are all created 50% male and 50% female at conception, all have this capability to do so but few have become aware of this female side or enlightened side of our female side and then go forward from that point...

My reference ot being "nuts" centers on what most of society would refer to someone dressing as a female...it's not a term that I am using to refer to myself and/or to any of you out there in this forum....

My whole purpose is to raise this question based on other questions that I have read here of late over the past several weeks....and basically why do we do this "enfeminizing" of our selves with all that goes with it...both good and bad...How many people lose relationships over dressing....how many people have problems dealing with their desires to dress...how many people are in the closet and are fearful of coming out to their SO's or wives let along stepping out the front door....and why do some people step into this and just skip along from day one and don't miss a beat.

I've been dressing for coming up on two hyears...and for me it's a simple life journey....I think back to when I first started dressing and to where I am now and all I can say is "wow...this is f**ing amazing"!!!! I'd never have believed I'd be doing what I'm doing now if you told me 4 years ago I'd be doing this now....

Anyway, I jsut have been pndering the idea of why we do this wrote this topic and thouhgt I'd jsut throw it out there and see how you all respond to it....nothing more or nothing less....have some fun with this...

[Karren H]

Mark me down as Mixed Nuts! :D

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Karren says:


Mark me down as Mixed Nuts!

In that case..."salted or unsalted"????:daydreaming:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I am not a "freaking nut". I am JoAnne, an All-American Bluegrass Girl and

Proud as I can be. Don't call me a "nut".

JoAnne Wheeler

[LisaM]

Sherry,

I don't think I'm nuts although I understand why you are asking the question.

It's funny but I agree with you that 99% of us don't pass. I know that I don't pass as well for a number of reasons but I still keep on making improvements in silly attempts to look better as I get older. But I still know that every time I get dressed fully and look in the mirror I find myself looking at my 'true' self and I feel totally fulfilled.

[Krista1985]

I can relate to looking back to the beginning of your journey and being awed.

Somewhere along the line, my trajectory shifted and my endpoint went from, 'the wild blue yonder' to, 'the pink abyss.' I've been a fellow traveler on this path for almost exactly a year, and it seems that every step into 'Trans-World' is a step out of 'Cis-World.' Like each new attachment here severs a part of my old self. Deconstruction and reconstruction concurrently. But I'm happy with the direction the remodeling has taken.

As for losing friends and opportunities due to our increasing enthusiasm for dressing, I think if managed properly each loss can be replaced by a gain. Our Buddhist friends believe that letting go and shunning attachment is a significant part of a soul's journey towards Nirvana. The pain of losing a friend can be mitigated by the joy of making a new connection. So even though it's a one-way ticket as you put it, the destination is a place you want to go.

As maddening as it can seem, I don't think that makes us crazy. But if Karen Hutton says it does then I am prepared to believe her. That lady knows her stuff, much respect.

[Nigella23]

I actually think we are neither, nuts or enlightnened. I truly believe we are just 'normal', (whatever that is!), people who have found a different aspect to their personalitys, and lifestyles and who are brave and convinced enough in their actions to either expose themselves to possible ridicule or risk damaging their relationships.

From 'societies' point of view, if it had a sliding scale of 'nutiness', then we'd probably be somewhere between Trainspotters and Trekkies/Trekkers. Who, like ourselves are also just 'normal' members of society expressing an interest in something which the mainstream don't accept, approve or embrace.

[joandher]

Have you ever thought about all the outher people that dress up in different ways for fun and happyness
ie
firemens uniforms
steam train drivers
bus driver/ conducters
cowboys
indians
cheerleaders
etc ,etc,etc

the list gos on and on , so what!! if it makes them happy and they are not hurting anyone why shouldnt they do what they like,after all life is so short, as you will realise when you get a little older

J-JAY

[Fab Karen]

Obsession? The GG's who are into clothes & have tons of shoes are not called obsessed, they're seen as just being themselves. I gotta be me- what else could I be? A miserable conformist, cursing the darkness instead of lighting candles? And remember, truly crazy people never question their sanity.
Society is getting better and better- we're hearing the dinosaurs death-throes at "tea parties" & such and eventually it will end. Gay people have won a lot of understanding & acceptance in society by being out in the world instead of cowering in the closet. The more we are seen out & about, the more people get to know it isn't some twisted perversion but just another variation of everyday folks, the more acceptance we gain.
Walk tall and proud, and if someone's staring, they must be in love. :)

[Karren H]

Karren says:



In that case..."salted or unsalted"????:daydreaming:

Unsalted! Have to watch my BP!! Ohhh and organic would bee cool! Environmentally friendlier! :)

[Lorileah]

Being a miner Karren I have to ask...do they make inorganic nuts?

Yes I am nuts and I love every minute of it

[trannie T]

For an otherwise normal male to want to prance around in womens clothing like some fairy princess he must be a bit looney.

Big deal. There are worse things. My other hobby is ax murder.

[DinaMature]

For my part, I'm sure it's nurture, rather than nature. I am a product of my environment... and damaged goods, at that.

I'm gonna avoid spelling out the long winded analysis of why I seek the self expression/image that I do. I've come to understand my own definition of how I got to this place and do better understand what it I need to fill the gaps/void within myself.

Am I/ Are we enlightened? OH, Definitely!!
Am I nuts? Am I disturbed? OH, Definitely!!

[Toni_Lynn]

I know I'm not nuts -- I'm not sure about the rest of you though :heehee:

Actually, in many ways we are saner than some folk in as much as we have figured out who we are and and are just trying to make the best of our lives by crossdressing. As k d lang sings -- maybe some great magnet pulls all things toward true


So Karren, I take that as being one vote for "enlighten" as opposed to just being "nuts"????

What about those of use who are enlightened nuts with 25 % less fat and calories than the regular nuts?



Really, though I don't think we are any nuttier than the Otherkin, Little Girls, Furries or whatever else is out there unless, of course we take ourselves too seriously.

Posilutely! I must admit that I scratched my head when I saw a person walking down the street wearing cat ears and tail during Comicon. And then I stopped and said to my self -- hey -- you're wearing a bra with no forms, panties, girls dress pants and a blouse, and girls socks and shoes (cool Mudd loafers!) -- and you're going to work trying to appear as if you are in drab, and you think that cat person is nuts!

Well -- hell yeah -- they are and I am too!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I think Krista comes the closest in thought to what this process or journey is all about....

We change once we get into this lifestyle....and very few ever go back from whre they came...it gets into our being bigtime and we go with it...and stay with it.

Most seem to be saying they enjoy this lifestyle and I do as well....I find myself being more open about who I am and what I am but I do so in a comfortable way....and in doing so I meet more new people to share this side of my "self" with and without and embarressment or regret or trepidation...I simply put it out there that this is who I am and this is what I am....I don't add that little disclaimer "and if you don't like it to freakin bad"!!!! I simply go my way and do my thing and be a happy soul....

But it is a journey of self discovery and awareness...and in finding new things about who I am and being comfortable with these discoveries I find that I am a happier person and more intune within my own skin....for pushing the envelope is the only way we can grow....

I rread so many here who are new to the dressing lifestyle say that they'd love to be able to go out...and marvel at those of you who do so regualry. I did when I first came her and read all of Karren's expoloits and wished I could just get enough guts just to go out for a drive....now I go shopping dressed get make overs dressed and hit clubs on a regular basis...why???? Because I expanded and grwe and stretched so I could eventually step out into the real world and in doing so I've found it so stimulating that I know that this girl will never put her genie back into the bottle....

Most of us when we're new at this are fearful only to eventually learn that there is really nothing to be fearful of....those who are out there that would call us nuts more or elss never recognize us when we're out anyway unless they literally tripped over us....or we tripped over them....

The bottom line is we are on a path of life and discovery and in this jounrey we become more aware of exaclty who we are and what makes us tick....and we go with that each step of the way ...for we are living our lives to the fullest....pushing that envelop as far as we can push it....and having a blast all the way!!!!!

[sheidelmeidel]

unless, of course we take ourselves too seriously. That makes the real difference between doing something that is fun and being completely bonkers.:)

"As long as you know you're nuts, you're really aren't."

[Karen7cd]

A SA I was saw on Friday had no idea I was a guy until I talked. That made my day.
The walk (with 4inch heels), the makeup, the cleavage... it is coming together.
This is just another phase in my life, I am going to enjoy it as much as I can.
By the way I ahve fould some nice jewery at the GoodWill.

[AllieSummers]

Yes we probably are freakin' nuts. But we're having a good time being nuts.

Last Saturday night a group of us girls went out. My wife and another girls wife were with us. She asked my wife if she was "ok" with this (dressing, dancing, etc). My wife had a simple reply. She said, "You know. Before Allie came out our life was pretty boring."

That can be taken a number of ways. It hasn't been easy. But it certainly hasn't been boring.

Kisses,

Allie

[sherri52]

I've always been nuts. Now I'm enlightened in the fact that I dress, don't pass, and still enjoy all that I wear and Like you From the waste down I'm enfemme 24/7. I lost two wives due to dressing and still dress. Maybe I'm a nutcase who only thinks she's enlightened.:love::fairy1:

[Phyliss]

I used to be "nuts" ... example, ... I'd pay full retail price for something, rather than wait for the markdown sale.

Perhaps by some standards that a number of people still cling to, I might be considered a bit out of the mainstream.

Frankly , my dear, I don't give a ....

To make my enjoyment of what I do satisfying, I avoid THOSE people and places where they gather.

And if the S.A. s regard me as some sort of "cute pet" who wanders into their store on occassion and spends money, I don't mind as long as I get the item I'm looking for and a possible conversational "tummy scratch" I'm happy.

[charlie]

Hello Sherry!
You have asked the big question that exists for all of us. I do not feel "enlightened", but actually a bit split. society tells me I'm not normal, and more then "nuts". I go out more often now and not just the safe places that I used to. Why? I can't tell you, but go I must!

[KateW]

When I think about my situation, it does make me chuckle a bit. I go to crazy lengths to live almost a double life, knowing that I will never in a million years pass. But you know what? I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. 90% of people go through life never questioning things, accepting a cookie cutter existance that most adopt to fit in and be "normal". I personally feel blessed that I have broken that mould, and get to experience both sides of the coin in a single lifetime. Most guys will never know what its like to remember to remove a dangly earring seconds before a big meeting at work, or throw a cushion over the bra you accidentally left on the sofa when an unexpected visitor turns up.

You are all amazing and I feel lucky to count myself as one of you.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Kate W says:


When I think about my situation, it does make me chuckle a bit. I go to crazy lengths to live almost a double life, knowing that I will never in a million years pass. But you know what? I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. 90% of people go through life never questioning things, accepting a cookie cutter existance that most adopt to fit in and be "normal". I personally feel blessed that I have broken that mould, and get to experience both sides of the coin in a single lifetime.

So, is that maybe what I'm trying to get at here....when I use the term "enlightened"...in the fact that we able to go beyond or transcend what most consider normal and by doing so we get to expereince a way of life that only a minority of people can experience....

We all seem to risk losing relationships, friends, jobs and a host of other things but we still not only take the chance but as you say you go to crazy lengths to do it....and most of us do especially those who go out the front door...because what we have or what we get from the dressing is so intense so pleasurable so appealing so neccessary in our lives now that we will expeience with all the abandonment of security and what the typical member of society would consider abnormal behavior and say we must be nuts but in fact we do this with a great deal of understand insight into what we are doing and why we are doing it far more than the average person would understand....and to be able to do this takes a great deal of self awareness and confidence in one's own self....so no we're not nuts nor crazy and there is a large percentage of crossdressers according what you all list as your profession of very intelligent people in a number of learned professions as you all have listed in your career fields....

Anyway, food for thought....

[Babette]

"Are we freakin' nuts..?", hmmm --- let see now --- I always deemed the rest of the world as freakin' nuts except for you and me, but maybe I should worry about you (just kidding Sherry). If doing this is being nuts, then let's have a party because being nutty is really a lot of fun. Do we dare tell the rest of the world about this? If they find this out, then everyone will want to be a nut too.

"Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't." Sing along if you know the rest of the jingle.

Babette

[subwrx]

Yes, In the western world male to female crossdressing is taboo. (but, if a woman wears male pants thats ok... arge...) As you point out, despite the inherent risk of ridicule and being marginalized. We dare venture out within society to express who we are.

Why, because most things in life that are important and have real meaning to us a human beings, are not easy or risk free.

It is true, with no risk there is no reward. In this case the reward is happiness and self fulfillment.

As the Declaration of Independence states:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

[Krista1985]

We're not nuts!

I don't think that we fully consider what is at stake when the dressing begins.

The fact that we're risking the loss of our old self for the sake of an uncertain new identity does not sink in until that new identity begins to take shape. The changes are so minute, so gradual they resemble grains of sand. Before long, we're standing on a beach that wasn't there the last time we looked down. It's scary but I think natural and even inevitable for those of us that feel the call.

It's a bit like being a pet owner. Please indulge me, I will explain.

Imagine one day you notice a scrawny, mangy stray cat that for some reason won't leave your property. You sprayed it with the hose, it came back. You chased him off the property like a madman, the next day there he is hanging out in the flower bed again. Nothing works and the cat keeps coming back. Lucky you, the persistent little bugger prefers your lawn.

So one day you feed it. The cat purrs and you see it gradually grow to a healthy weight. A couple weeks later you take it to a vet appointment. For some reason you've taken an interest in its well-being. Then a trip to the groomers. Soon the cat has the run of the house and isn't confined to the lawn.

At some point your relationship to this cat just changed altogether, but so gradually you didn't notice it happening. Now that it's been cared for and nurtured, it has different needs. So do you. Your scrawny stray is now a pampered pet and a part of the household.

For months now you've emptied liter boxes, played with balls of yarn and catered to the cat's whims. Then one day at the mailbox, fishing out the latest issue of Cat Fancy, you remember your life before you noticed the stray. You reflect on how it's changed your life, how much time pet ownership has taken away from other activities. You briefly consider putting it up for adoption but quickly reconsider. In fact, you can scarcely do without your new companion. Your a pet owner now. Even though you didn't intend for this to happen, it did and you're kind of glad.

As dressers we can chose to keep a mangy, stinky cat on our lawn knowing it won't go away. Or we can make lemonade. Find a way to live with the animal and derive some satisfaction from the partnership with it.

One thing is for sure,

Either way that cat isn't budging so try and enjoy it's company. Far from insane, I think that's the best course of action, for both the owner and the cat.

Look at me, rambling on and on again. Thanks for reading, Seacrest out.

[Misty is Kindafem]

Well, I'm gonna have to vote for nuts.

I wonder all the time if I'm crazy. Sometimes I wonder out loud and people will ask me who I'm talking to.

I don't really want to tell them that I'm a CD who is just thinking out loud that I may be crazy, so I just look at them and say "I'm talking to my mother, like it's any business of yours". Then I pull my pants back up and walk away.

Some people are just so rude.

-Misty

[busker]

Sherry-Stephanie,
Perhaps NUTS is the right word. There is no way in heaven or on earth that you will actually achieve what might seem to be a hidden goal--that is, to be a female, not just a woman. Female and woman are tossed around but to me they are 2 different things. Female is anatomical, woman has attributes associated with being an anatomical female, and no matter how hard one tries, it will simply never happen. So, one must be nuts to engage in it at all. That is not a derogatory comment.
Some cds say that they have a hidden-from -view female but thats anatomical and even surgery can't make it so.. A softer, feminine side--yeah, very possible.
Dressing is superficial and the joy-though real--does not a feminine woman make. If your wife wears a leather jacket, swears like the proverbial sargeant, she is still a female (by nature)and a woman (by nurture) and her take on existence is not going to be the same as yours.
Lots of talk about "feminine" side but I never see anyone define that or give examples (though with 30k+ threads it is no doubt been defined) other than loving to dress, shop etc. Couldn't one say the a doctor has a feminine side because he is a person who has empathy, takes care of other humans--in short he is a caring person , a trait that is ascribed to women?. And there probably are some doctors who are also cds!!!!! Go figure.
We all know our destination, the journey is what makes life interesting and some choose to travel in several guises. If the slings and arrows are worth the experience then that's probably all that is necessary. I think that you are asking 2 seperate questions each of which needs to be answered seperately.
So yes, you are nuts for wanting to do something that is physically impossible and not nuts for wanting to experience something that men don't normally get a chance to experience.
Mandrake out of water

[Gretchenivy]

People believe their decision making is based in objective, rational thinking. Despite our big brains and our ability to proceess information, humans are emotional creatures, and we genuinely make most decisions and pursue interests in life as a result of either who we believe ourselves to be OR who we want to be.

From the type of car we drive to the careers we take up to the mates we seek out, we strive to be some ideal of ourselves... Or, sometimes someone we're not.

So, we're all just a little "nuts". Some more than others. So, if the norm is to be nuts, is anyone really crazy anymore (besides the truly mentally ill)? We're just expressing ourselves. And, I'll continue to do that, not because it makes me happy, but because it's who I am.

What does bother me though is that, as others have already recognized, there is some risk to this. One could argue there is risk in a lot of activities. you can't climb a mountain or sail a boat or ride a bike without taking on risk. But, where I take a little issue with my own behavior is when it begins to control my life or affect my family. If I'm spending too much (more than is reasonable) or if I'm endangering my family's welfare in some way, I need to take a closer look at what I'm doing and alter my behavior. But, that applies to just about any intense pursuit.

I also think sometimes that some of the energy and money I put into dressing could really be better spent on doing something more meaningful. Like donate it to the poor, or spend my time and energy helping kids or building houses for the homeless. Again, that's who I want to be. Sometimes i am that person, too. Most times I'm not. Sometimes I am lucky enough to be a gurl. Most of the time, I'm not. Life is inherently unfair.

[girlalex]

I haven't completely come to accept who I am because i simply didn't have the chance to be dressed for long enough to understand whats really going through my mind. but no, we are not nuts, we simply think we are because some of us pay to much attention at what the general public would say. i mean some people are narrow minded and ignorant and its something we have to accept in order to move forward on.:)

[Frédérique]

Do we go through all we go through because we're "nuts" and have this "thing" we've just got to do...or maybe it's because we're different...different in a way that makes us "enlightened". We are truly special in the sense that we have come to terms and have accpeted this female side that exists in all men just as a male side exists in all females.

Oh, I think we’re enlightened beings, in fact I’ve said that a few times on this site. Are we special in the Universe? It’s hard to say, from the vantage point of our still-evolving awareness and severely limited vision, but I know what you mean, so I’ll avoid any cosmological discussion. I know one thing – the truly enlightened beings of human history, I mean the ones that sacrificed their lives in an attempt to get an idea across, are the heroes (and heroines) of gender integration. Few see it that way, but I know better – this is an epiphany (little “e”) that dawned on me one day. I suppose you can either do it externally (get married), or internally. Do what? Bring the genders together -- wear them down by contact, mix-and-match personality traits, squeeze them until they bleed, forge a near-perfect union, subjugate one while the other dominates, whatever…

In the case of the lonely, unmarried (by choice) crossdresser (yours truly:battingeyelashes:), the genders live together in a small cottage near the outskirts (pun intended) of town. They live together in wedded bliss, and rarely leave each other’s company, since they are truly happy together…

[RobynP]

Kate W says:

...because what we have or what we get from the dressing is so intense so pleasurable so appealing so neccessary in our lives...

The one thing that has always puzzled me is why my crossdressing is so intense, so pleasurable, so appealing, so necessary but for most of my peers, it is not. As a matter of fact, it is quite the opposite for them. What makes me different than most of my peers?

If I am "enlightened", that means that most of my peers are "un-enlightened" and maybe someday they will be "enlightened" when they discover the joys of crossdressing. However, I don't think that is ever going to happen...

All I know is that I am "different" somehow...

Robyn P.

[Barbara Dugan]

I think I am ....but is better than being dull and boring

[suchacutie]

My wife says that Tina is a high-maintenance girl! There is no way Tina would enjoy gardening since ruining her nails is just not acceptable! Tina doesn't have "old" clothes, and would never think of getting her hair (wig) overtly dirty. But look at all the rest:

I'm sure I don't have to list all we do to make our bodies "feminine-compatible", whether we intend to "pass" or not; all the reading we do about the illusion of being feminine; all the money we spend on "beauty" products, clothes, and shoes (and how many of us just obsess with shoes...Tina has more heels than my wife!); obviously we are sitting here reading and writing in this forum; and how much time have we all spent researching the way to handle makeup, and then practicing over and over; how often do we watch GGs to see what they are wearing and how they walk/move/talk; I just sat here filing my nails knowing I'll shape them again tomorrow and I'll need another coat of the matte finish I wear 24/7 to strenghten them; how many hours have I spoken with my wife about growing up a girl (not that that time has not been well-spent in the relationship!); not to mention the time we are actually en femme practicing all of it; and just how many catalogs do we maintain wish-lists in so that we can get the best prices and how long does that take (another Suddenly Femme catalog just arrived!!!)???

And we do all this and try to maintain otherwise "normal" lives??? After reading this, it seems to me that the only one's of us who are completely sane are those who have gone over to 24/7!

LOL...well, no one ever accused me of being completely rational!!! :):):)

Besides, we do really love our femme sides, let's face it, so sanity really doesn't come into play :)

tina

[Chixxie]

I'm unsure how to answer this...
I suppose I have done things to keep my secret,
or to be able to purchase something secretly, that might be considered "Off the wall"

I have never had the feeling that my crossdressing is wrong.
But, then again; Jeffrey Dahmer didn't think it was wrong to kill those men.

I try not to compare myself with others such as;
Bikers that choose to get full sleeve tattoos
Or the "Guido" clichés that insist on wearing gaudy jewelry, slicked hair, and well pressed clothes.

We are not better, or worse than any of the other stereotypical cliques out there.....

Simply different from them ...as they are to us.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

There's two extremes to crossdressing...those who would find it absloutely unacceptable and anyone who was to do it is "nuts" and that is where the are we freakin nuts came into my title...I am mimicing what the "normal side of society" would refer to us as....and I followed it with the are we enlightened" comment because for us to get to where we are we need to go to great lengths to be able to come to acknowledgem that in fact we do have a female or femme side....and that takes a person who has a great deal of sensitivity and the ability to go within and discover this female side and not run scared at all hellp, but rather we embrace this and go forth and live with both sides of self....and in order to do that....I think one must be enlightened!!!!

There... the topic of this thread in fact is are we "nuts (by the general opinion or view of society) or are we enlightened" by the fact that we're able to reach and embrace our feminine side of self????

[Kate Simmons]

You've got it Sherry. This is what I mean when I say that CDing is just the tip of the iceberg. The real truth is not for the faint hearted my friend.:)

[Sherry-Stephanie]

..."The real truth is not for the faint hearted my friend". ...

Amen Sis...Amen!!!!

[Wen4cd]

OP you're asking questions about the nature of reality itself. :D

Nuts -vs- enlightened? Faith? Belief? Delusion?

I talk to my 'feminine side.' At times, she's a ghost who hovers just over my shoulder. Other times, she's a voice within. Sometimes, she possesses me and I realize she is me and I am her, and I can relate to others with her help.

Sometimes it's just me, and he's the ghost. Sometimes he remembers who is the real person and who is the unconscious process. Other times I give him just because he's needed by others in that form, yet it is always us.

She's all over the place, lots and of things and definitions, but the thing she is mostly, is real, and vital to life.

When she's not, if I think of her as a process or some 'thing' instead of herself, I'm in 'cold dead reality world,' which is no place to be. :sad:

Yeah, I'm freakin nuts.

Or am I? :devil:

[docrobbysherry]

Is MASS INSANITY more acceptable? :eek:

Sometimes it feels like it to me! When I'm on CD.com!:hugs:

The REST of the time, I guess I'm a vote for,
"self-deluded, happy nut"!:heehee:

[Tara_G]

crazy..over the rainbow...(s)he is crazy...surely gone fishing


I don't feel nuts compared to most people I meet but I'm sure they would think I am nuts if they ever saw me as who I would like to be.

[BettyCooper]

OK, I defintely don't feel crazy, and I know that I am different.
Bottom line is that I am femme in the way that I feel femme and I realize that GGs may not and probably do not relate to femme the way that I do.
What is most important to me is that I express and present myself the way that I feel, and that I find people, wherever they are, that will love me as I am, and will allow me to love them back.

[drushin703]

yes, I am totally nuts.I spend each day working in, living in and embracing
this masculine world.perhaps, from nine to five, even defending it.sometimes
it scares the shit out of me to know that there exists two dana's.the other
dana is still male but dresses up in womens cloths.from wig to painted finger
nails to pantyhose to highheels,he completely adopts a female persona.
I wish i knew which one of those dana's were the craziest!

[AmandaM]

Sometimes I think it's an exercise in futility. lol

[jazmine]

It did take me a long time to come to terms with my female side and love of crossdressing. It took me even longer to come to terms with the fact that I really wish I would have won the "galactic lottery" and been born female. But for me, the surgery is not something I would want to do, especially at 36.
So I continue enjoying my female side, and crossdressing when I'm able to. And yes, I goto great lengths to achieve the best possible look I can. I do get tunnel vision about it. Yeah, it's probabaly NUTS, WAY not normal, or even healthy. I've come to the point that I don't give a !@#$! I have a great marriage, and sustain a functional modus operandi about the daily grind of life. so in my mind.....who f-ing cares?
People also think that I'm nuts & not normal for having over 34 arcade machines throughout my house, and spending hundreds of hours restoring them to mint condition. People think I'm nuts, crazy and not normal for restoring my 1970 Challenger that started off rotted beyond belief. Spending 1000's of hours and dollars working on it until 5am in the morning and then getting up a 7am to goto work. Yeah, people think i need to go into a mental institution on that one!
People think I'm crazy-nuts for spending HOURS in the basement painting weird, abstract paintings.
People think I'm crazy, nutty & stupid for staying up around the clock for 48 hours at a time, learning and arranging guitar tracks, only to go into studios and record my parts for FREE. Out of the sheer love of it.
I've come to learn through my 36 years on this rock, that people view me as weird, deranged, NUTS and WAY NOT NORMAL. That there's something definitely not right with me. It use to bother me in my early years, but now, I really don't care. My crossdressing is only the tip of my iceburg. If someone wants to label me weird and not normal for that, or any of my other hobbies...that's perfectly ok with me. Weird and "not normal" work beautifully for me. maybe it's my sense of tunnel vision I have when I approach something I find worthy of working towards. Hell, My friends and family think mine & my wife's marriage is not normal. That we get along too well, and are too happy, and act TOO weird & corny with each other, having TOO many inside jokes between ourselves. Whatever! At least we're not the ones going through divorce court this year like many of our friend's and family members are.
Yes. I'm weird and my crossdressing is weird,, and WAY not normal for the "Joneses" and modern society on this planet. That's Fine. I'm cool with that. But I personally believe that people have to stop caring about what the "Joneses" are doing, into, or up to...ESPECIALLY when it does not effect their lives or have any impact on it.
I don't know if any of this made sense, or answered the original thread. Sorry Sherry-Stephanie.

Peace be the journey,

[Loni]

What is weard? Extream? Nuts?

I know a guy why rides a bike six days a week, and puts his food on a scale,
he knows how many calories per serving of most foods.

I know another that can touch a puter and make it all well.

And another that can let you know were the best clothing stores are at.

Weard ?

We are all a bit deffernt than someone else, it would be a dull life if we were Borg.

.

[Raychel]

I am freakin nuts, but I keep them tucked away whenever possible. :heehee: But that is who I am, Just enjoying life whenever I can.

[sabrina mercedes]

To be totally honest, I don't care!
Either way, enlightened or nuts, it's your view, not mine.
I am this way, so I just enjoy it. Nothing more, nothing less.
To think of this pleasure as enlightened or nuts on my end takes away the joy of who I am and what I do.
So, neither.
I just am.
Love, Sabrina
:kiss:

[Carly D.]

My feeling is no, I will not likely pass and yes I am totally nuts I guess.. I've said there is that feeling when dressed up.. I never used to even try to pass, because I never even had a wig.. I used to wear to feel really good about myself.. ok that last sentence was total crap, when I dressed when I was younger I always felt like this is wrong.. and still do feel like cross dressing is wrong otherwise I would be open about it, and wear and told everyone which I clearly have not.. I wish I felt like it is a good thing to do, or at the very least feel like I want to feel.. when nobody is around I feel great, no worries because now I know within reason where everyone is at and can count on dressing up and really feeling relaxed while doing so... lately it's been extremely dry (no dress up time) and I wish I could say I miss it, but I don't sadly..