How do I start

[Michelle I]

I am sure that this question has been asked many times but how do I start therapy? I know the short answer is sit down and start talking but do I ask my family doctor, do I go to a regular therapist or do I look for a gender specialist. I am so unhappy with my current self but I am afraid to go forward. I am not sure if I should keep hiding my true self or bring the girl out in me that has been hidden for so many years.

[CharleneT]

I am sure that this question has been asked many times but how do I start therapy? I know the short answer is sit down and start talking but do I ask my family doctor, do I go to a regular therapist or do I look for a gender specialist. I am so unhappy with my current self but I am afraid to go forward. I am not sure if I should keep hiding my true self or bring the girl out in me that has been hidden for so many years.

You should try and start with a therapist who is experienced with gender issues. BUT a regular therapist may very well be able to help just as much. It depends a lot on how you and she/he get along. Do you know how to find out who specializes in what in your area ?

[Veronica_Jean]

Melissa,

I agree with Charlene that a good gender therapist would help. It depends on where you are here in Ohio but there are some around.

Veronica

[Teri Jean]

I agree it is important to get a qualified gender therapist and the way to do that is talk to you family doctor. They have access to resources the average person does not.

Teri

[luvSophia]

Like the others have said, if at all possible I would look for a therapist who specializes in gender issues. You may be able to find one through your family doctor. You can also start with a search on the Internet. Once you find some names do a search on those. See if you can find comments from other people. Transgender support groups are a good resource too. A lot of them have lists of doctors, therapists, laser and electrology places, etc. Gender therapists in my area are pretty scarce so the one name I found ended up being who I saw.

[Frances]

This may be a bit of a highjacking, but 15 years ago, when I could not take this gender connundrum anymore, I went to see a pyschologist at a local clinic. I told him about my feelings and he basically showed me the door. I did not know what to do, so I got drunk and when to a club in town where trans prostitutes worked. I hired one of them and went back to her place to get information. She referred me to an organization that mainly helped immigrants (she was brazilian), but they told me about the Montreal General Hospital's human sexuality clinic, which was the only game in town at the time. Sadly, it still took another 15 years to finally transition, but that's another story.

[Michelle I]

I am not sure how to even find a good therapist even one who specializes in gender issues. Years ago I went to one therapist who basically said suck it up and be a man to issues I was having that was not gender related and we did not even get to my gender issues. I am around the Dayton area of Ohio. All I know now is that I am so unhappy with myself and I know I need some help.

[Veronica_Jean]

Melissa,

There is a support group in your area. I am a member and I have sent you some additional information via PM.

We meet twice a month and you can contact the lady for new people.

Veronica

[Hope]

I am not sure how to even find a good therapist even one who specializes in gender issues. Years ago I went to one therapist who basically said suck it up and be a man to issues I was having that was not gender related and we did not even get to my gender issues. I am around the Dayton area of Ohio. All I know now is that I am so unhappy with myself and I know I need some help.

A gender therapist would be ideal, but if your feelings are more general in nature ("I am so unhappy with myself and I know I need some help.") you may want to seek almost any competent therapist. Just as a point of reference, your previous therapist was not competent.

Finding a therapist is not a difficult task depending on how open you are about your condition. The best method is to ask people you know and trust for a referral. you can talk to your family doctor about that if you are comfortable doing that. One of the other girls in your area might post a response making a suggestion. Chances are good that because you live in a metropolitan area that there are a variety of GLBT groups and support agencies in your area; calling them for a referral is always an option. Of course - you can also harness the power of the Google, though google won't tell you if a doctor is good - merely if they exist. After you have a referral - contact a Doctor and make an appointment.

If I were you I would not go to a Dr. who did not have a PhD or a Psy.D Those with an MSW or an MD are not folks you want to talk with.

[Rayne1]

Melissa I
Therapy can get expensive because it is a specialty. Many family doctors do not know anything about the subject of an individual feeling transgendered. Therapy is the first step in being able to see an endocrinologist about getting hormones. You can search the internet for any in your area and see if you can afford their fees. I did not have any in my area and went to an online thereapist I found Dr. Graham Peveller at etherapy@gmail.com. His prices were extremely reasonable and I was able to use the extra monies for the other things I had to spend on transitioning. I was able to get the letters I needed for hormone therapy after several months of gender therapy.
I wish you the best of luck in your travels.

[stacie]

The drive to Indianapolis to see Michele Omara would be worth the drive for you. micheleomara.com

[akaCathy]

Melissa,

I found my therapist in the provider specialty section of my company-provided insurance. She's exactly what I needed. Try that, or contact a local transgender support group. Best of luck.

Hugs,

Cate

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

And you could find one by searching on the internet or thru many of the transgender site's on the web.. If you mention the state or country your in, many of the women here could probably point you to choices to look at.. Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[Jessinthesprings]

You need to sit down and think long and hard. What is the root of your issues? Is it gender related? Or is it something else? What do you hope to gain from this?

The easiest for you would be the something else scenario. You can ask around for recomendations, or talk to your doctor, and he/she can help provide you with a list. You of course pop open a the phone book and interview various therapists until you find one you are comfortable with. Your gender issues should still be discussed.

If it's gender issues you will have your work cut out for you. In this case you will want a therapist that has some experiance in transgender issues. This person can provide you with insights, and resources that a normal therapist cannot provide. You will need someone who is versed in the Harry Benjamin Standards of care in order for you to recive letters for hormones and SRS... But, here is the problem. Gender Therapists are few and far between and your doctor may know someone but, probably not. And if you do find one you do not have the luxury of finding someone who is competant or makes you comfortable. You get what you can get. Search the internet and get with a transgender support group and you should be able to find a recomendation.

Once you make decision your therapist will guide you by asking questions about not only yourself but your family and friends. If he/she is good she will force you to think critically and force you to answer questions that only you can answer... For this to work you have to be 100% honest with yourself and your therapist. Don't under any circumstances tell him/her what you think he/she wants to hear so you can get hormones unless of course it's the truth.

A non-gender therapist can be useful if you cannot find a trasngeder thereapist. They will still be helpful if they are sympathedic of your issues, but you may find yourself educating this person about every aspect of being transgendered. You may also find getting your letters difficult, but they should help find someone who can. However, in educating you may find that theripudic.

[Stephanie-L]

Two possibilities to try, first as was mentioned, check with any local TG, or even Les/Gay groups in the area for recomendations, often they know of therapists who are more comfortable and experienced treating TG folks. Second, you can do what I did, and check on the American Psychological Association website, they will list members in your area and most of the listings tell what the person specializes in, i.e. family, childrens issues, gay/lesbian issues, etc. I got lucky and found a counselor first try, she didn't list TG, but did list gay/lesbian issues and when I contacted her said that she had dealt with TG patients before. She was very helpful in my accepting my TGness, and was more than willing to write letters for HRT, BA and whatever I needed. So, check out some websites of local counselors, send emails asking if they have dealt with TG issues (try not to be their first, you may wind up teaching them more than you learn), and good luck....Stephanie

[Sally24]

Just try a search on the Internet. A quick one to Laura's Playground turned up 7 gender counselors in Ohio. Good luck!

[Michelle I]

Thanks for all the advise, I have checked the lists and have called one to see if I can get in.
Thanks especially to Jessinthesprings, you brought up some really good points to think about.

Melissa