TS Sportswriter dead [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Kaitlyn Michele

11-28-2009, 05:00 PM

I just saw that Christine Penner the LA TIMES sportswriter has died and it was probably a suicide
http://www.reuters.com/article/mediaNews/idUSN2823885220091128

i showed her coming out letter to many of my friends and family..this is very sad for me and I dont know what to make of it...except maybe not forgetting how serious this stuff really is.

CharleneT

11-28-2009, 05:17 PM

What a sad story :sad:

Seems that her transition went awry in some way and she returned to work (at least) as a man. It is a good reminder that this path is dangerous, and not just the drugs and weirdo's. We have to watch carefully for our own issues - and realize when it is time to seek help for such things.

sheidelmeidel

11-28-2009, 05:30 PM

...except maybe not forgetting how serious this stuff really is.

No question about it. :sad:

Sara Jessica

11-28-2009, 08:46 PM

Below is a cross-post of mine from another site where I had been involved in discussion about Christine in the past.

All I can say to elaborate is that this shouldn't be in the news section. It should be in the main section where more of us will see it. There are lessons to be learned here about the decisions we make as to how we lead our lives regardless of how one identifies on the TG spectrum.

-------

Christine,

I am at a loss for words since learning of this tragedy all of 10 minutes ago (longer considering the time it has taken to write this). I have gone back and read our last emails to one another. 4/17/08, the start of radio silence, presumably to most/all in the community who knew you only as Christine. The seeds for your journey back were surely sprouting at this time. But despite the silence, I always understood why it had to be that way, or at least I thought I did. But you were never all that far from my thoughts. I would chime in to the L.A. Times site every so often to make sure you were still writing Totally Random, always comforted to see that you were. I had often thought about emailing "Mike" at the Times but thought better of it, or again that's what I felt was the right decision. You knew where to find us if there was ever a need to reach back out to the community. All I can say now is what if but right now that is beyond irrelevant.

Christine, I wish you peace and pray you are in a better place. You are a beautiful soul and I feel blessed to have known you.

Sara
(always your friend, sister, partner in musical crime)

donnatracey

11-28-2009, 09:04 PM

Very sad news. I remember when he announced his proposed gender change back in 2007. Something obviously went wrong.....:sad:

Karen564

11-29-2009, 01:54 AM

What a sad story :sad:

It is a good reminder that this path is dangerous, and not just the drugs and weirdo's. We have to watch carefully for our own issues - and realize when it is time to seek help for such things.

Very true....:iagree:

Here's something Mike/Christine wrote back in April 26, 2007 about his/her coming out news of being a transsexual, I find it interesting, because If I didn't know better, I would of sworn I wrote it myself...Just shows us all how similar our stories really are...
http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-oldmike26apr26,0,2709943.story?page=1

But lets hope that our own stories here don't have a tragic ending such as this one....I will be praying for all of us here tonight... and for Christine..

RIP, Mike/Christine..:sad:

11-29-2009, 05:55 AM

how very sad :- http://networkedblogs.com/p19279031

sometimes i truly wonder why i bother to try myself. is this my destiny

R.I.P Christine Daniels.

FireflyGG

11-29-2009, 07:04 AM

It doesn't have to be your destiny, MJ. Everyone has to live their own truth, whatever that may be. :hugs:

11-29-2009, 07:31 AM

It doesn't have to be your destiny, MJ. Everyone has to live their own truth, whatever that may be. :hugs:

Finding one's truth, now that's hard

FireflyGG

11-29-2009, 07:36 AM

Finding one's truth, now that's hard

It is extremely hard. Sometimes I think it's more about a journey than an actual ending. It's a process of self discovery that ebbs and flows and changes as you go through life.

TJ Tresa

11-29-2009, 07:57 AM

It doesn't have to be hard at all. Sometimes you just need to stop, look around and decide what is important to you. Life goes on with or with out us and we all will eventually pass away, it is a fact of life. Now how we want to be remembered, what we want to do with our life - well that;s a different story. We choose everyday weither or not it is going to be a good day or a bad day, we choose if we are going to let the small stuff cause us to be upset or riase above it. Life is a matter of choices and our own choices will make the difference. If you aren't commfortable with yourself you need to focus on how you percieve yourself and try and fix it. Don't worry about how others percieve you, be true to yourself and the rest will work out.
So again I say we control our own lives, but in the end we all pass away.

Stephenie S

11-29-2009, 09:21 AM

Kaitlyn Michele

11-29-2009, 09:58 AM

Steph---

Sorry, but I have to disagree with u on that one..and i don't think it's right to make that assumption.

Many times, the transsexual has secondary mental problems, especially depression, brought on by the incredible confusion and shame around everything..

i do agree that transition doesnt solve everything

i was just pm'ing a friend and i told her that i have 2 friends that transitioned, untransitioned (for totally different reasons), tried to committ suicide, and then finally transitioned...i can't say they are both doing great, but i can say they are both doing MUCH BETTER and they know they are on the only path for them..they didn't have mental problems, they were just miserable about what they were going through

11-29-2009, 10:34 AM

What is really important to remember about this story is that transition doesn't solve anything if you have mental problems. If you are screwed up BEFORE transition, you will be screwed up AFTER transition, just with different genitalia. Clearly transition did not solve what this person thought it would solve.

Let's hear it for gender therapy.

Lovies,
Stephenie

not so it's not that we are screwed up but the worlds view of us is screwed up. and because of that 40% of us won't make it that's a fact.
But by the grace of god there go I. it's just a matter of time you never know

Sara Jessica

11-29-2009, 10:46 AM

What is really important to remember about this story is that transition doesn't solve anything if you have mental problems. If you are screwed up BEFORE transition, you will be screwed up AFTER transition, just with different genitalia. Clearly transition did not solve what this person thought it would solve.

Let's hear it for gender therapy.

Stephanie, this is a very hurtful thing to say and appears to be based on a number of incorrect and/or inappropriate assumptions.

Fab Karen

11-29-2009, 05:37 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091129/ap_on_sp_ot/us_obit_penner
At least at time of transitioning, she was married, and it said cause of death may have been suicide.

LisaM

11-29-2009, 06:36 PM

I hope she finds the peace she was looking for. Her story touches home because she was about my age and struggled so much with gender and ...... i hope she finds peace because that is what I am searching for.

Stephenie S

11-29-2009, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by Stephenie S
What is really important to remember about this story is that transition doesn't solve anything if you have mental problems. If you are screwed up BEFORE transition, you will be screwed up AFTER transition, just with different genitalia. Clearly transition did not solve what this person thought it would solve.

Let's hear it for gender therapy.

Stephanie, this is a very hurtful thing to say and appears to be based on incorrect and/or inappropriate assumptions.

The point you are making may have some validity but certainly not in the context of the death of one of our own.

Dear All,

The above was posted to me in a PM by Sara Jessica.

Let me apologise for any hurt I may have caused. That was certainly not my intent.

My point was to emphasize that gender therapy is important. We get therapy not to gatekeep, but to make certain that not only are we ready for transition, but that there are no underlying issues that might need addressing. Many assume that the source of all their problems is GID, when in reality it's not at all. I read many posts railing against the need to see a therapist for such an obvious issue. Often it's an important thing to do.

Clearly, in this particular case, transition was not the cure for this individual's problems. They turned out to be deeper and more serious.

My condolences to all concerned, and again, I apologize.

Lovies,
Stephenie

LisaM

11-29-2009, 06:54 PM

I have read many Mike/Christine threads all over the internet. She started to transition and she stopped. She really struggled with her gender identity.

I do as well! I am distraught because of this and I pray that she has found peace. I consider her a sister and I feel bad that people will use her for their own purposes.

She was a talented writer, a spouse, a son, a loved one, a friend and now she has left us and I feel sad and I hope she is in a better place.

TGMarla

11-29-2009, 08:57 PM

MJ, your words left on the Times site were beautiful. Truly a sad story. I was moved.

sherri52

11-29-2009, 09:00 PM

Our destiny is not writen. Make your own destiny and live a long and healthy cd life.

sterling12

11-30-2009, 12:46 AM

I think we lose too many good people! Whether they are murdered, decide to option into suicide, become mentally ill; something is wrong!

I'm not sure if I need to blame society for intolerance, an often uncaring or uneducated Psychiatric Community, or just our own "Demons." But, something is very wrong.

Not sure what to do, but we need to do something. Right now, I'm opting for: "pull together, get involved, and fight for our rights."

I did not know she "De-Transitioned," but I imagine it might have had a lot to do with her death. I would reckon we all need support, so ask yourself The Next Time when someone wants to talk, someone wants to reach out...."Have I done enough?"

Peace and Love, Joanie

TerryTerri

11-30-2009, 01:58 AM

I only vaguely remember the story of Mike/Christine. But, I'm crying as I write this. I think the estrogen allows me to cry easier. Anyway, Christine/Mike will be in my prayers and thoughts. It is so sad that anyone, for any reason, takes their most precious possession, their life.
Ya know, too many people commit suicide, for too many different reasons. I have known several souls who committed suicide when trying to deal with addiction and alcoholism issues (being a recovering alcoholic I have much more exposure to folks with drug and alcohol problems trying to get clean and sober).

(steps onto her soapbox) I think we can all reflect upon this incident and, besides being saddened by it, realize that our kind and caring words to others and the sharing of our our hearts in this struggle truly help others and perhaps somewhere along the way, even if we never realize it, perhaps those words shared here will help a beautiful soul to not end it all. With that thought it seems even more important to me that myself and all us sisters here continue to share with open hearts and caring, soft words for all who enter this path. (meekly gets down from her soapbox)

baby beluga

11-30-2009, 02:17 AM

:sigh:

Starling

11-30-2009, 04:56 AM

While reading the posts of the lovely and thoughtful people here for the last several months has answered a lot of questions for me, it has raised even more. What a strange kettle of fish is this gender dysphoria!

We will probably never know exactly why Christine reverted to Mike and then took her life. It's safe to say that depression is present in most suicides, and that depression can be a chronic condition that is not caused by external stimuli--but can certainly be made worse by them.

I so admire the ladies and gentlemen here who have the courage to be reborn, and the grace to make the process as comfortable as possible for the people that matter to them. And I know there must be times (once the euphoric period has passed) when they wish they had never come out, gone full-time, or transitioned, as the case may be, times when they beat themselves up for not being man or woman enough to suppress the constant and painful emotional dissonance which most of them have experienced since childhood.

Perhaps this is why Christine became Mike again, to meet society's expectations in self-denial. And then, when the inevitable happened, she despaired of finding the strength it would take to become Christine once more, emotionally naked on the front page.

Rest in peace, Christine.

Lallie

Sara Jessica

11-30-2009, 08:12 AM

Let me start by saying that for many, if not most who read this story, it is simply an incident. Something that happned to someone, somewhere else but not really in the context of their own lives. Something to view from a hill but then move on to whatever is important in their day to day existence. For what I'd imagine is a decent sized group, others will find true empathy in what happened to Christine by virtue of identifying with a facet of her being that had been presented in her very public transition(s). Then there are those of us who knew her personally which brings about an entirely different perspective. These ways of interacting with tragic events are really no different from any other tragedy we might encounter as human beings.

This is why I took your comment Stephanie so personally. I was beyond protective of Christine during our friendship and remained so when she withdrew from sight and then re-emerged as Mike. And I will continue to do so given her passing. Again, the comment was hurtful, something I cannot brush aside because what's said is said. However, your apology is much appreciated and is of course accepted. While I have insight that could shed light on some of the unknowns out there which naturally become subject to speculation, I will continue to stand by what I've always said, that it's not my place to share these things. It was Christine's / Mike's story to tell but unfortunately the final chapter has been penned presumably before the rest of the book was finished.

Aeval

11-30-2009, 11:32 PM

My heart goes out to the friends and family.

Rest in peace.

gennee

12-03-2009, 06:24 PM

gennee

12-03-2009, 06:30 PM

Transition is as much emotional and spiritual as it is physical. Just this past June I migrated closer to the transsexual side. It was subtle but it happened nevertheless. After I crossed this road, I had to go through some emotional changes in order to comprehend what had happened to me. While I'm not going to transition physically, the emotional transition is more intimate and personal.

Gennee

:)

Paula_56

12-06-2009, 09:24 AM

About 2 years ago a sports writer for the LA Times came out as TS and started to transition. I use to read her blog. All of a sudden he changed his name back to Mike Penner and stop transition. Sad news was that he was found dead of an apparent suicide. Makes you think, this can be dangerous stuff.

Kaitlyn Michele

12-06-2009, 09:33 AM

Paula this is my feeling exactly...

Its also dangerous out there in the world because some people want to hurt us just because of their own hatred..

When I disclosed my femaleness to people I was very upfront about it, and I kept saying that it was a life threatening situation for me...(ie i wanted to die)...but Christine's letter helped pull me out of it!!!! I showed that letter to lots of people.....her death is so sad, and very ironic...

There is a good thread on this in the TS forum

jenna_woods

12-06-2009, 09:42 AM

I agree this is very serious, not to be taken lightly

Pink Person

12-06-2009, 12:25 PM

Transfemale and transfeminine people are special to me. I was sorry to read about the death of Mike/Christine. I hope that other people who are struggling with trans issues seek help and find it before considering suicide.

Gender sadness and social fears afflict many of us. However, there are a great many ways that trans people can embrace gender happiness and social confidence and live better lives because they do. The strength we need to live well can be found inside us and in our community.