Conundrum

[Edwina888]

Here is a conundrum.
Now it is November here in England, and virtually all the women are wearing trousers. In fact, they dress in pants, shirts and jerseys just like the men. A lot wear boots. They mostly have some kind of wind and rain proof jacket.
And very often their clothes are indistinguishable from male clothes. The trousers zip man’s side. Often the top is a man’s shirt. The jacket is mostly a male one.
But it is rare to see a woman and not be able to tell she is a female. Their dress may be all male, but there is very seldom any doubt about who they are. They make no attempt to ‘pass.’
So why is it so important for us gurls to have to 'pass'? Why can’t we be men who happen to be wearing a skirt, a dress, high heels, a pretty blouse? What’s different?
If we do go out in female clothes, people look askance at us, think we’re queer, and/or laugh at us.
I’d love to go out and about in a skirt - but I don’t. Bravery is not my strong point.
Perhaps I’ll buy a kilt.
Any ideas, ladies?

Edwina

[PretzelGirl]

Passing, however you define it, is only as important as you make it.

Let me ask you this about stating that the women are wearing male clothes. If 95% of women wear jeans, is it still just male clothes? Or to turn it around, if 95% of men wore dresses, do you really think anyone would care anymore? They would have become male clothes.

[windycissy]

You're lucky, you can get away with wearing a kilt in the UK, try that in the USA...go for it!

[nancyish]

Dear edwina,I always wear ladies jeans ,T's,socks and panties,I don't care to "pass".I also don't want to look like a (terrible) 'wanna be'.I'm effeminate and proud of it,that's my thing.Nancy

[Kate Simmons]

It's drummed into us from day one that women wearing men's clothes is stylish but men wearing women's clothes is abnormal. It's up to us individually to sort that out and see if it applies to us personally or not.:)

[Christina2008]

I thinks it just a matter of dressing for the occasion, if it's cold and raining outside a short skirt and heels might not be best for day wear (Which is pretty much what I would like to wear :) )
So maybe to blend in its best to wear the rain coats and trousers but try to make them as fashionable and feminine as possible to enjoy your girly experience. I'm still working on this myself though.

[Karren H]

I almost always wear a skirt or a dres out enfemme... even if I'm the only one in the place with one on... who cares!!! Dress like you want to and don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't wear.....

[Lorileah]

Because they don't have to come to CD.com and try and explain why they are wearing a certain item of clothing? They don't go on line and complain about not "getting" to wear an item of clothing? Why, because they long ago said...who cares? And look around, no one does.

And who says you can't wear a kilt in the US? I see it all the time. We even have a construction company whose dress code is a kilt for the men (just don't be hiring them to work on your roof because I think the code does not address the underthings).

The limits set on what you can and cannot wear are set mostly in the minds on men who still fear the "label"

[Frédérique]

But it is rare to see a woman and not be able to tell she is a female. Their dress may be all male, but there is very seldom any doubt about who they are. They make no attempt to ‘pass.’
So why is it so important for us gurls to have to 'pass'? Why can’t we be men who happen to be wearing a skirt, a dress, high heels, a pretty blouse? What’s different?
If we do go out in female clothes, people look askance at us, think we’re queer, and/or laugh at us.
I’d love to go out and about in a skirt - but I don’t. Bravery is not my strong point. Perhaps I’ll buy a kilt. Any ideas, ladies?

Yes, it’s a conundrum – you see women dressed like men all the time, yet they are definitely women. Now and then, once in a Blue Moon, a woman will pass as a man, and I have to stop, look, and wonder if one of my buddies has escaped from the asylum of societal expectation. When I see one of these individuals, I wonder about how I can make my own crossdressing statement of non-conformity in public – surely if a woman can dress like a man and not get a second look, I can dress like a woman, at least a female type from the historical period of gender separation? Hmmm...:thinking:

Dressing like a woman is an expression of who I am, but do I really want to do it out here, in the middle of the U.S., where everyone is keeping an eye on eroding family values? It’s a personal paradox for me, since I wish to convey my abhorrence of conformity, but, at the same time, I don’t wish to draw attention to myself. What’s a girl to do? Well, I go out dressed, but I don’t put myself in harm’s way – I have no desire to be harassed by group-mentality “thinkers” who believe in what they’ve been taught. I might just as well throw gasoline on the bonfire these individuals would like to have, the one where all the perceived “weaknesses” in the population go up in smoke, a black cloud obscuring the light of human potential. All I want to do is wear a dress, not bother anyone, and not be bothered in return. I’m allowed to pursue my own happiness, right? :straightface::thumbsup:

Buy the kilt, Edwina, but skip the sporran – you’ll look (and feel) absolutely fabulous…:)

[Leanne.cd.uk]

Edwina just enjoy it hun i to live in uk and am exited that i can now get away with putting my sexy lingerie on under bulky clothing and not have to worry bout getting those looks, u can hide it and feel gurly and sexy at the same time as much as u want - just be yourself and not worry bout what others say or think.

[noeleena]

Hi..
Well here in n z we have a good number of women who wear skirts . in our group that s all we wear as edwardian you know 1900 to 1910 ... long dress s & skirts .

okay not your every day wear . still most of our schools our girls are in skirts time s have changed & its a comfort thing & ease of work . related .

For an evening out most wear dress s & skirts .

I dont have any longs or pants . just skirts & a few dress s . & for my work ...building ... over all s . or just short s .
Now as a male or female we can wear with pride a kilt . with my back ground . it s a part of our heritage . with our name ..Loch-head . & quess what it means
.
Oh by the way .
my name is, noeleena. edwina .
So nice to see some one else with my 2 nd name ... of cause it was edward .....

...noeleena...

[tricia_uktv]

I went out on Saturday in Manchester in a purple mini skirt with black patterned tights, ankle boots and a feminine grey jacket. I just think its slightly more challenging in winter. As for passing, as soon as I realised it didn't matter I started passing better. Ironic really.

[Eve_WA]

You're lucky, you can get away with wearing a kilt in the UK, try that in the USA...go for it!

I have a friend that wears a kilt every day to work, and has for years. Now... I DO give him a bit of a ribbing for it... and rightly so!! Its not a kilt, its a skirt!! He wears one of those Utilikilts that have been popular the last few years.

But as a good friend of mine who is a Scottsman says... to be a kilt, it HAS to have ALL of these qualifications... Made of Tartan, No Pockets, No Zipper, No Buttons, 14 pleats, (12 in front and 2 in back I think) of which Ultilikilt breaks ALL those rules. So I kept ribbing him on his choice of skirt for the day... he was not amused. :D But after all, I DO wear a skirt!! so I KNOW the differenfence!! LOL

[PatriciaT]

I have been dressing for years and do want to pass, when not looked at too closely or at least be accepted.
I like the soft, cute look, and since I am slightly built can dress this way. I find that with the right combination I have no trouble, and do get approving glances at times. As I get more experience, with this kind of style I get far fewer disparaging glances. I think with so many GGs wearing what in effect is a kind of male attire, people really like seeing someone, even someone who might look like a rather "masculine" looking female, in cute, very semale attire.
I always wear dresses or skirts, with soft colors, with some lace if possible. Shades of pink are very disarming, as well as a flaired skirt or dress. A wig with longish hair works wonders. I use littlemakeup but fundation asnd powder softens the male face. My legs are far more feminine looking so I take advantage of that.

A female dressed in the current pants and jeans style can look somewhat masculine. A male dressed this way would probably pass......as a male.

The more feminine I try to look, the more am at least accepted. One indication of this is how store people treat me. If I look odd or masculine, they walk away or avoid me. If I am dressed in an appropriate female way, I get lots of help.


Just a thought.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Edwina,

You only should try to pass if that's something that matters to you. For me, I think I look better when I don't try to pass, and I feel more like myself when I do that too. A guy can wear a skirt just as easily as a woman wears pants, it just takes confidence and courage.

A kilt is a good "gateway" garment, I wore mine a lot to sort of get used to being out in public in a skirt before finally getting up the gumption to wear actual skirts. Now I do it frequently and while it definitely looks unusual to some at first glance, most people just then mind their own business or get over it entirely. You'll hear the occasional snide comment, but that's to be expected. just don't let if phase you and come off as confident which makes all the difference.

[linnea]

I enjoy going out enfemme. I don't really worry about passing any more. I say, "just enjoy it."