Vicki-Z
11-29-2009, 09:08 PM
I'm sorry for the long post but I need to vent about my daughter.
I always did everything I could for my two children. I always thought I was close to them. I tried to instill a real sense of family in them. We always did things together as a family. However, my daughter seemed to grow a little more distant from me when she became a teenager. I always let my children know that I was there for them. I did everything I could. I put them in a private Christian school when there started school for a few years until I couldn't afford it anymore and had to take them out. I paid for both of their college and university education even though it was a financial sacrifice for my wife and I. My daughter has never even thanked us for paying her university costs.
I have been going through the roughest time in my life the past 3- 4 years. My 16 year old son was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a battle he won thanks to God (a story in itself). I’ve been the past 3 years worrying about my job. I was given a lay off notice that my job would be gone in 6 months. During that time my daughter announced that she was pregnant. She got married and had a beautiful baby girl, my first grandchild. I accepted the guy she married into my family not as my son-in-law but as my son. My lay off notice was cancelled a month before I was to be let go.
Unknown to me while the my Granddaughter was being born my wife of 24 years who I love more than anything in the world was carrying on an affair through facebook with an old high school boyfriend. About 3 months after my granddaughter was born my wife travelled back to her hometown to make her affair physical if you know what I mean. My daughter discovered the emails that the boyfriend sent my wife proving the physical part happened and she showed them to me. I was destroyed and my masculine side was crushed. My wife and I are working on our marriage.
About 3 months later we heard there would be more lays offs at work. Sure enough I was laid off and my career of 33 years is gone. With my masculine side gone I have had to rely on my feminine side. I am transgender and should have been born a girl. This had nothing to do with my wife’s affair because she didn’t really know about my true feelings until after. It’s just she had a thing for this old boyfriend and said I didn’t satisfy her.
With my manhood destroyed it brought back my old repressed feelings of my feminine side. I began wearing lingerie under my male clothing on a regular basis. I have never dressed totally enfemme. This was the only way I could cope with everything. I did this for about 3 months then my wife didn’t approve so I purged everything.
I began wearing lingerie again about 3 weeks ago. My wife says its OK but I know she is not happy about it. But Right now I have no choice but to be my feminine self.
Anyway, on to my present problem. My wife told me a couple weeks ago that my daughter knows I’m transgender. Last spring she noticed the outline of my bra straps under my shirt. She asked my wife about it and my wife told her I was transgender. My wife said the next day while we were both out my daughter search through our bedroom and found my stuff. My wife says my daughter was mad and crying.
For the past 7 months or so my daughter seemed ok with me, talking as normal. Then about two weeks ago we had an argument. Her husband who I treated like a son told her that I said something that I didn’t. Of course she won’t believe me. She told me she didn’t respect me as a father or as a man.
She hasn’t talked to me since and avoids me. They live in our basement and are moving tomorrow to a town about 45 minutes away. My wife who has provided free daycare since my granddaughter was born was suppose to keep taking care of her since both parents work in our city. They inform my wife that they have decided instead to put my granddaughter into daycare.
My wife tells me my daughter told her husband about me and they don't want my wife to take care of my granddaughter because they don’t want her exposed to someone like me. I should mention my granddaughter is 18 months old. She's the cutest little girl and I love her so much!!! It's going to break my heart not to see her. But as I said they don't want her around me.
Also, how will my wife feel knowing that I am the reason she won't be seeing her granddaughter much.
My daughter has never talked to me about my being transgender. She has just made up her own mind about me without knowing anything about me. Her birthday was today and my wife invited them to come upstairs for dinner but she wouldn't.
She may not respect me as a man or a father, but for 24 years I was the most loving caring father I know.
As far as I know my son doesn’t know about me because my daughter doesn’t want to hurt him.
Ever feel that your world is falling apart?
Vicki :cry:
I always did everything I could for my two children. I always thought I was close to them. I tried to instill a real sense of family in them. We always did things together as a family. However, my daughter seemed to grow a little more distant from me when she became a teenager. I always let my children know that I was there for them. I did everything I could. I put them in a private Christian school when there started school for a few years until I couldn't afford it anymore and had to take them out. I paid for both of their college and university education even though it was a financial sacrifice for my wife and I. My daughter has never even thanked us for paying her university costs.
I have been going through the roughest time in my life the past 3- 4 years. My 16 year old son was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a battle he won thanks to God (a story in itself). I’ve been the past 3 years worrying about my job. I was given a lay off notice that my job would be gone in 6 months. During that time my daughter announced that she was pregnant. She got married and had a beautiful baby girl, my first grandchild. I accepted the guy she married into my family not as my son-in-law but as my son. My lay off notice was cancelled a month before I was to be let go.
Unknown to me while the my Granddaughter was being born my wife of 24 years who I love more than anything in the world was carrying on an affair through facebook with an old high school boyfriend. About 3 months after my granddaughter was born my wife travelled back to her hometown to make her affair physical if you know what I mean. My daughter discovered the emails that the boyfriend sent my wife proving the physical part happened and she showed them to me. I was destroyed and my masculine side was crushed. My wife and I are working on our marriage.
About 3 months later we heard there would be more lays offs at work. Sure enough I was laid off and my career of 33 years is gone. With my masculine side gone I have had to rely on my feminine side. I am transgender and should have been born a girl. This had nothing to do with my wife’s affair because she didn’t really know about my true feelings until after. It’s just she had a thing for this old boyfriend and said I didn’t satisfy her.
With my manhood destroyed it brought back my old repressed feelings of my feminine side. I began wearing lingerie under my male clothing on a regular basis. I have never dressed totally enfemme. This was the only way I could cope with everything. I did this for about 3 months then my wife didn’t approve so I purged everything.
I began wearing lingerie again about 3 weeks ago. My wife says its OK but I know she is not happy about it. But Right now I have no choice but to be my feminine self.
Anyway, on to my present problem. My wife told me a couple weeks ago that my daughter knows I’m transgender. Last spring she noticed the outline of my bra straps under my shirt. She asked my wife about it and my wife told her I was transgender. My wife said the next day while we were both out my daughter search through our bedroom and found my stuff. My wife says my daughter was mad and crying.
For the past 7 months or so my daughter seemed ok with me, talking as normal. Then about two weeks ago we had an argument. Her husband who I treated like a son told her that I said something that I didn’t. Of course she won’t believe me. She told me she didn’t respect me as a father or as a man.
She hasn’t talked to me since and avoids me. They live in our basement and are moving tomorrow to a town about 45 minutes away. My wife who has provided free daycare since my granddaughter was born was suppose to keep taking care of her since both parents work in our city. They inform my wife that they have decided instead to put my granddaughter into daycare.
My wife tells me my daughter told her husband about me and they don't want my wife to take care of my granddaughter because they don’t want her exposed to someone like me. I should mention my granddaughter is 18 months old. She's the cutest little girl and I love her so much!!! It's going to break my heart not to see her. But as I said they don't want her around me.
Also, how will my wife feel knowing that I am the reason she won't be seeing her granddaughter much.
My daughter has never talked to me about my being transgender. She has just made up her own mind about me without knowing anything about me. Her birthday was today and my wife invited them to come upstairs for dinner but she wouldn't.
She may not respect me as a man or a father, but for 24 years I was the most loving caring father I know.
As far as I know my son doesn’t know about me because my daughter doesn’t want to hurt him.
Ever feel that your world is falling apart?
Vicki :cry: