What Would You Do?

[Jenny]

Hi Everyone,

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Since then I have been wrestling over what the proper course of action should be.

I was at the mall with a friend who does not know about Jenny. I noticed a commotion coming towards us. I then saw one of our CD sisters, a clearly crossdressed man, walking towards us. She had not made a real effort at a total look. She wore no wig or makeup and had not made a real effort to conceal her true gender. She was wearing an off-the-shoulder white top and a bright blue miniskirt. She was carrying a shoulder bag. I did not know her but I would say she was quite a bit older than I am (I would guess about 50).

As she strolled down the mall, both kids and adults were pointing and laughing at her. Teen boys in particular were making smart-ass comments. Nobody was directly hassling her but the entire mall was in an uproar around her. I had to admire her cool determination not to let any of this distract her.

To my friend's credit, she did not say anything negative at all. Just glanced at the "woman" and kept on walking. When I mentioned it to my friend, she just shrugged her shoulders and in effect said "so what; it's no big deal." [BTW: this is one of my friends I think I could come out to but haven't yet.]

My own reaction was to just let the woman pass, too. Since then, I have wondered if it wouldn't have been better to go over and say: "Hi. How are you today?" Not to make any move on her or make her embarassed but to give her some support and company against the on-slaught of teasing and laughing going on around her. Just to show her she had friends in the mall, too.

What would you do? What would you want somebody else to do if you were in the same situation? How should we react if we see a CD sister out in public?

:confused:

[CdMick]

If it were me- I would personally go over and say hello-But her walking through that mall and seeing everyone pointing and laughing-I am sure she noticed you and your friend were not and that might have been some what the same thing- I am still "noticable" as a female if I am not so called hiding anything-I often get the opposite affect however-Lots of people think I am male to female and I also get pointed and laughed at-and when I see someone not doing that-That gives me hope-
Probably not much help-Just thought I would share my opinion
Take it easy

[Tristen Cox]

Jenny,
Speaking for myself only, that's about the best question I've heard here yet.
The places I go are usually neutral(they don't know me) so I wouldn't care about the people around me. In the situation you mentioned I would maybe create a distraction if you know what I mean to change their attention and take off some pressure. That's what I would want. You live in a small town and are probably recognizable by others in most places. So maybe something subtle to let her know she's not alone.
I didn't help much did I? Well had to say out of all your Qs that one hit home for me.

love,
Tristen

[HillaryArtemis]

I don't now on one hand you got to wonder about the girl's judgement clearly putting herself in such a hard situatio,, but on the other hand you got to give her credit for a supreme effort. What the situation does show you is the general stupidity of much of the public. Even if I didn't support what this woman was doing, I would be absolutely embarrassed if those were the fellow residents of my town. I think I would probably try -- God -- I don't know what I would do - I would need to be present in that situation to make a judgement.

JodiArtemis

[Marda]

Hi Girls

Who knows ... maybe he lost a bet ??? Maybe he was in the process of "winning" a bet ... (if so, & me, I would want it to be a rather large $$$ payoff)

In a mall ??? No wig or makeup ??? Neon Blue Miniskirt ???
I'd mind my own business !!!

***
What if I were in that situation ???
"Hello ???" I realize I'm replying to this thread in this Forum, but the question itself is unfathomable to me!!!

***
Q. "Am I Bored ?"
A. "No ... I'm cooking supper."
/Marda

[Stelli]

Gosh, this is very easy question with hard and long answers. When it comes to this situations I always fall to proverb: Live and let live. In the meaning: do live your life and let other people live theirs, be open and learn as much as you can and do not be jerk but try to be human being in the best light of humanity.

I remember such situation when I saw very good looking TV but obviously male on the street in Rome - she gained a lot of whistles from passing-by masculine Italians (can you picture that). Another example is person that was pointed to me by my friend that works in one Tim Hortons in Toronto.

All these exmaples include people that are in their 50ties and who do not pay too much of attention how they look to others. I have my theory why is that, but for one situation is not nice, and for two I believe such people need to be helped, and three last but far from least, whole humanity needs to be helped on this issue....

If I have free time, I would try to befreind her and try to help her, but likely not there and then in the middle of situation. Anyway I know that she did not give a piece of whatever what others did.

And, Jenny, you are really kind heared person (or very wise for your age)

[Jenny]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I do think this is a touchy situation. As someone who ventures out dressed every now and then, I think the last thing I would want is for some stranger to come up to me and ask if I was a crossdresser. On the other hand, if I were being hassled by a group of strangers over being a dresser, I think it might be nice to have someone come along and give a friendly smile. Maybe what I should have done was just wave at the person I saw. Sort of a friendly -- but not too friendly -- acknowledgment of her bravery in following her desires. Since she was not being confronted by anyone directly (some people were just smiling and shaking their heads), doing anything more might not have been necessary.

Oh, there are so many angles to this dressing, aren't there? :confused:

[Scaredsis]

Jenny,

I have thought about what I would do, and I come up blank. I would have to be in the situation to give an honest answer. I can only hope I would do something to help.

Hugs,
Betty

[Collette]

A friendly smile, perhaps a brow flash, maybe a wink for encouragement. A tough situation yes. Collette

[windycissy]

Jenny, I think you handled it just right.

In my early days, I got "read" once in a while, and it was always a devastating experience. The last thing I would have wanted was for somebody to come up to me and tell me that they supported my dressing as a woman. And God forbid, what if it was an incredibly masculine woman and you tried to cheer her up by letting her know that she looked like a guy in drag?

Live and let live, don't ask and don't tell, that's my credo. Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

[Lorna]

Hi Jenny
As one that is still going out in the dead of night i can only admire this lady for her courage to go to the mall, but I must say I think you handled the situation right, if you had got involved you may have made things worse, she obviously knows what she wants and how to go about it, and good luck to her
Love always
Lorna