I need some advice please

[andi29]

Im 30 yr old cd and ive been dressing for about ten years. My family know about it, but i havnt told any friends.

Recently (last few years), ive started to want to look feminine all the time. I have got small things done ,i had my ears pierced a few times and i have some feminine clothes that i wear with my old stuff,but its not enough.

Should i keep going or just keep dressing at home?

[trisha59]

Ah, don't you wish it was that easy. Someone just tell me what to do and I will finely know. Sorry, but there is no one right answer. This road you are on is called life and you have to figure out where it is leading you. What ever you decide, this forum will be here for you.

[thechic]

Hi there
Im new to the group first reply, im in the same dellema, the woman in me just wants to come out full time.
Im about to have my ears pierced am having laser hair removal eye brows shaped and ware small ammount off make up, this is as a man it does make me look young. It dont have a supportive wife and kids she threatens me often but the urge is becoming overpowering and getting more depressed.
So i advise to you it all depends where you are, who you are with are you married were you work, because i know that im am getting it.

[Karren H]

I had had the chance when I was 30 I would have gone for it!! Else when you get as old as I am (older than dirt) you would regret not doing it!! In my humble opinion

[sherri]

There is some fallout to going full-time, repercussions that aren't that difficult to anticipate. But that isn't to say it's impossible, or not worth doing. There are a few members on this forum who seem to be managing it rather swimmingly.

Btw, by family, are you referring to wife and/or children? If so, you have to take their welfare into account.

[Megan_Girl]

Start small...It's a big jump from dressing at home to going full time.

Find some local girls or a group and test the waters. Spend a few nights on the town and see what your comfortable with. You may find as many here have that you enjoy both you male and femme selves.

If you find the attraction is stronger - then take a vacation to a TG friendly town like San Francisco and spend the entire time en Femme. I've done this and presenting Femme 24/7 is a bit of work. I loved it and will do it again but 365? that's another thing all together.

That's my 2 cents.

XXX
Megan

[SuzanneBender]

Start small...It's a big jump from dressing at home to going full time.

Find some local girls or a group and test the waters. Spend a few nights on the town and see what your comfortable with. You may find as many here have that you enjoy both you male and femme selves.

If you find the attraction is stronger - then take a vacation to a TG friendly town like San Francisco and spend the entire time en Femme. I've done this and presenting Femme 24/7 is a bit of work. I loved it and will do it again but 365? that's another thing all together.

That's my 2 cents.

XXX
Megan

Andi I find Megan's advice to be right on the money.
I would suggest a conference for that first week away. You get great advice meet women and men that span the spectrum of Transgenderism. Its a totally safe environment and you are not all by yourself.

I also agree with Karren. In fact, I am scared because I have been agreeing with Karren a lot lately, but that is neither here nor there.... Had I embraced my dressing more in my late 20's and early 30's who knows where I would be today.

My personal advice is live life to the fullest. Embrace your dressing, but realize the act of dressing it is not the centerpiece of your life it is only one of the many facets of who you are. You always need to temper the pink fog with a strong bit of reality.

[carolinoakland]

Well this is to both of you, thechic as well. It's a big thing to do, and if you are then do it right! I went to a cd makeover place for about a year and half once a week. In private but full on girl. Then like megan I went to my first California Dreaming cd convention. The first time I ever went full time and in public. It was totally eye opening in relation to the work it takes to look gorgeous ALL the time. The hardest and worst part of the whole three days was the ride home. I didn't want to go back! It took awhile but I finally knew that I had to do something about this, so I got me a therapist. Who sucessfully diagnosised me with GID. After that and another month of therapy she referred me to an endocrinologist who put me on hormones and testosterone blockers. At the same time I was underdressing and wearing light make up at work. And I was getting really frustrated and angry when people couldn't see that I was becoming a girl. And that had to change, so I went full time in Jan of 09. And I haven't looked back ever. But that's me, not you.

What you find yourself doing,if you are doing this right. Is make a list. Of everything you ARE going to lose when you transition. And if you aren't prepared to lose all of it, so you can at last be happy; then don't. You have to be completely selfish about meeting YOUR needs. If you can't then accept that as the price of not being the right you. There is no right or wrong, or fault. It just is. Carol

[Karren H]

I also agree with Karren. In fact, I am scared because I have been agreeing with Karren a lot lately, but that is neither here nor there.... Had I embraced my dressing more in my late 20's and early 30's who knows where I would be today.
.

Somethings very wrong when people agree with me or I'm soundin like the voice of reason!! Ekkkkkkkk!!

[flic]

I have to say, that it is all very dependent on your own personal circumstances. But i would also say that I've had a few timely reminders lately that life really is too short. We all have the right to be happy, and we all have the right to be ourselves. This is where personal circumstances come into play i guess, and how free we are to express ourselves. Before i told people explicitly that i was tg, i'd changed quite a lot, things like brows and nails and body hair, and things that l'd obsessed about being incredibly important, because to me they were,,,but to those around me they turned out to be non-issues. I guess my point is,,,in a round about, rambling sort of way is that we should all be happy!!! sorry this post is a bit crazy!
x flic x

[AmberLynn]

Somethings very wrong when people agree with me or I'm soundin like the voice of reason!! Ekkkkkkkk!!

voice of reason karren :thumbsup: There are major thing's to consider before going full time. Im right where you 2 are,going to be 30 in a few months,have battled my inner girl for a long time and did my bout with depression. Have i gone 24/7 no,am I going to "thinking about it seriously" are there thing's to consider,OF COURSE! Family,friend's,commuinty,work,your self :hugs: It's a huge step,and a long dark hole. Im frightined thinking that there is a possabilty to reach what i think my self to be might cost me everything from family to the place i live and work. The pink fog can cloud that the world in some place's dont care for us as people. If you feel strongly about going fem 24/7 I back you in your desion,just make sure you chew it over well :gh:

[suit]

or maybe you just hate your male life ? ineather version of gender theirs going to be bills to pay noses to wipe asses to kiss ect. and the cut of the clothes and color wont change that !
why would anyone hate the male persona? just look who we get lumped in with in the news....any thing" good "done by a man in the news in the last 20 years ? has to be greater than 1/2 of 1 % ?

[Hope]

No one here can tell you what you should do - you have to make those decisions for yourself.

What do you think, Do you think you might enjoy going full-time?

It's a big jump... you might try some part time as a test to see...

[thechic]

Hi there
thanks for the comments im going to seek counciling, Ive been doing crossdressing part time for years and have met more friends as a worman than a man.
the only trouble its a secret life and i dont like to keep secrets like that.

[Erica2Sweet]

The answer to this question without a doubt needs to come from within. No exceptions.

[Brandi Wyne]

Hang on for the crazy ride ahead and enjoy all the good moments you can.

XXs,
Mickey

[tricia_uktv]

Small steps is right. Maybe the first is to go away from your home, out of you comfort zone and try it there. Initially go to a transgendered friendly place. Then try for longer, say a weekend, then try to go out in normal society. You will soon find your limits if you have any but you will need a great deal of courage. Have fun hon, I am!

[sueann]

you need too do the thing that you feel is right. I wish i can dress more but me know one knows.

[Stephenie S]

This is not JUST to the OP, but to ALL of you.

Live your life.

I am a nurse, and for the past ten years I have been working with the elderly. The saddest thing to witness or hear in this life is, "If only I had . . . . . . . whatever".

Don't get to the end of your life wishing you had done something. DO IT!!! The things we regret at the end of our lives are the things we DIDN'T do, not the things we did do.

Lovies,
Auntie Steph

[sherri52]

No one can answer that question for you. How you feel inside is what you should do. If someone were to tell you to dress and go out and you got picked on you would blame it on them. If they told you to wait and you inside kept telling you to go out and you didn't, you would blame them for holding you back. Go with what you feel inside and good luck.

[Stephanie81]

I think there's some very sound advice here, but i will add just one thing.. If you decide to go full-time, as i did (mostly), and you are fully "out", and everyone knows about it.. you WILL feel much better about yourself, and your confidence will improve..

I speak from experience. :hugs: