4 those 35 and older please read

[DeniseNJ]

As with many of the older crossdressers in here, I have been doing some sort of dressing from an early age. As the years went by, the lenths I would go to dress and what I did to look feminine got more intense. Yes I am married, been always attracted to girls and never felt gay , the guy image does nothing for me. I too like the look of Denise better Dennis. I think she looks younger , more happy and less nervous. I did notice that after finding this site Denise has blossemed more. I had been taking more risks and even went out fully dressed to a club a couple of times alone and it felt normal being dressed as a girl. Yes before I had to wait for Halloween as an excuse. I asked my self a question today , do I feel more female inside than male. My answer was female. I have yet to go out as Denise during the day but that day may be near. I enjoy viewing pretty cd/tv's/ts's just as much as seeing a red hot swimsuit model. My fantacies are running a little wild and I feel like I missed out on something in life. So my question is:: the longer you dress, do your inner emontions change and your mindset starts thinking like a woman. its as if the longer you get intouch with your feminine side the more you want to feel like a woman. Should I worry or let the course run its path. Never thought I would go get pedicures in drab as a guy, get bright colors put on and walk out the salon in sandles , next I will be wearing womans sandles in and out what's next heels:daydreaming:

[Miranda09]

Denise...just have fun with it. I agree with you that as I dress more and more, my feminine side becomes more devopled, but I don't let it over take my male self. But I will say that when I go for a few days without getting dressed, the urge gets stronger and stronger. When dressed, it feels great! I'd say don't worry about what you did or didn't miss out in the past....you're having fun now and exploring a special part of you. Enjoy! :)

[Karren H]

So why 35? That the magic age? I blew past that so many decades ago... Now I'm just old.. Er... Ish...

[SuzanneBender]

Denise I am there with you. I have dressed in one way or another for all my life. I used to hate it. I thought it was wrong that it would destroy my life, but as we get older we get wiser and I have realized that my femme self and male self are one in the same. Now I wouldn't trade this side of me for any amount of wealth or fortune. The wealth wouldn't matter because the drab shopping is ohhh so boring.

As we venture out and discover the bonds of sisterhood we are bound to get more brazen about embracing who we are. I envy the young lady's that are coming behind us. Think where we would be today if we had realized early on that we were not the only people in the world that felt about this the way that we do.

Never worry about who you are. Let the course run its path. I had an aunt that always told me if you follow your heart you will always end up at the right destination. Who cares if you trade in those sandles for a pair of heels at the next pedi. Just make sure the shade of polish you pick goes well with them. :hugs:

[Jeanna]

Apparently out testosterone drops like a stone when we get older. Matbe that could have something to do with it.

[Fab Karen]

35? Eventually I'll get there:battingeyelashes:...yeah that's it, eventually:whistling:

As for the original question, as we get older we get better in touch with who we are, and what's right f-o-r us.

[suchacutie]

We are all pretty complicated individuals. Let's face it, what could be more complicated that lives that span both genders, all matters of sexuality, and then there's family relationships, work relationships, friendships ... omg how do we even live each day without exploding???

I really do believe that we all need to look at our situations and put our feminine selves in context. We still need to be responsible individuals whether our passion is our femme selves or some other deeply encompassing activity. It's like the rest of life balancing all of our desires and obligations.

Given that caveat, only you know that situation, and if expanding your femme self works as a part of your life, then why not?! :) These are difficult and complicated decisions, but there can't be anything inherently wrong with expanding Denise!

In fact, much can be very right with it :)

tina

[anna kate]

I'm so close to the 35th anniversary of my 35th (4 months) it's scary. But yes, the more I dress,the more I want to. Just have to remember to stay within Mamas' boundaries.

[DiannaRose]

I only started really coming to terms with this aspect of me within the past year or so. Up until then I worked hard to ignore and/or bury deep what society and my church told me (not directly) was wrong, was a bad choice I was making, was somehow broken.

But I'm not broken. This past year alone I've felt more alive than in forty f-...er...forty-some-odd years of living before. There are struggles, there are fires and floods, but on the whole I'm in a much better mental place than I was at before.

Because this year I sort of stepped back and realized I am how God made me, and if I can't accept that then I'll never--ever--be happy. So I said those words to myself that I had always known but could never admit..."I like wearing women's clothes", and a weight lifted. And since then I've realized it's not just the clothes I like, it's this whole feminine side of myself I had never admitted to before.

I'm happier expressing myself as a female...not because I'm not supposed to be male, but because I find I can be more open and honest about things. I LIKE a pretty dress, but if I oohh and ahh over one as a male, I get funny looks. No, I'm only allowed to say things like "That's nice", or maybe stretch it to "That's a pretty dress", but sometimes a dress isn't just pretty, it's GORGEOUS! :) And could a guy get away with talking about his uber-cute silver heels? Not usually!

And the more I find support and acceptance in the world (especially places like CD.com), the more comfortable I get in my own head. I like the idea that I'm not alone.

[skirtsuit]

OK!
Is there a test?
Do I win a prize for reading the OP all the way through?


All the Best,
Ann / SS

[abigailf]

This past year alone I've felt more alive than in forty f-...er...forty-some-odd years of living before...

I feel the same way. Even though I have been dressing in some form or another since childhood, I only recently accepted the fact that I am TG and I feel much more alive because of it.

[jennifer24]

I know I have progressed thu the years & became more female, doing female things,paying more attention details. I guess like they say with age comes experiance, also with age comes tolarance to what other people think about our life style, when I was young I really hid all my female feelings for the most part but now,I`m more open with myself & except myself for who I am.
Good post DENISE!!!!!!

[trannie T]

I dress and go out more now at my advanced age. It is important to dress appropriate to one's age, I still may wear a miniskirt but when I wear breast forms the nipples are even with my navel.

[docrobbysherry]

So why 35? That the magic age? I blew past that so many decades ago... Now I'm just old.. Er... Ish...

That includes U, Karren!:heehee:

Actually, when I started dressing late in life, I had fantasies of breast implants, hormones, becoming a female! :eek:

12 years later, things have moved the OTHER way for me! Now, I never have those thots! But, HEY! I'm old and odd. So, that's NOT likely to happen to u, Denise!:brolleyes:

[Karren H]

That includes U, Karren!:heehee:

Actually, when I started dressing late in life, I had fantasies of breast implants, hormones, becoming a female! :eek:

12 years later, things have moved the OTHER way for me! Now, I never have those thots! But, HEY! I'm old and odd. So, that's NOT likely to happen to u, Denise!:brolleyes:

Well I may be a pup but doing this for 5 decades has to account for something? Maybe a boobie prize? :D

[Megan Legz]

I notice that I am much more confident about dressing en femme now than when I was younger. Could be because I'm buying nicer clothes than before? Or is it that I'm tired of feeling ashamed? Who knows.

[Billie1]

Maybe a boobie prize? :D

Great! I can always use another set of boobies!

But, seriously, folks.
Sure the intensity of dressing has changed over the many years, but so has everything else in life. My priorities, responsibilities and state of soberness has ebbed and flowed from decade to decade. However, a long time ago, I figured out that this funny little crossdressing thing was pretty much a lifetime gig. I came to terms with it, and it hasn't caused too much trouble yet. But hey, it's still early. I'm shooting for another 50-ish more years!:D
Be well.

[sherri52]

Should have come up with this post when I was 35. Oh yea the didn't have internet then. Doesn't matter you get stronger urges but principles stay the same.

[windycissy]

There have been some very wise responses, to which I can only add that as we get older and come to grips with our mortality, the desire to embrace this aspect of our lives intensifies...I have a dear friend who is 70+, when her wife died she was devastated, a closet crossdresser all of her life she finally burst out of her cocoon and now she is one of the loveliest women (real or otherwise) I have ever known, we're talking Vanity Club looks, and she has confided to me that she was so depressed when her wife passed away, embracing her femininity saved her life. Heavy stuff!

[Kristen Kelly]

Denise a short 4 years ago I was where you are at, I pushed that line of comfort till I reached resistance (not really I think I got tired). Once I accepted who I am things happened fast, my confidence grew in leaps and bounds. Would have to say I'm just short of being fulltime, I go anywhere and everywhere day or night. I'm not "officially" out to work; it is the only place I am always in my version of "Drab.” That is my own hair, small hoop earrings always in the ears, and I leave work dressed in women's jeans, and gender-neutral tops (have to wear uniform at work). My friends and neighbors all know, and many prefer being out with Kristen. I am more girl than guy, I don't change how I act no matter how I'm dressed, at work I'm a feminine guy.

Let it run it's course, I have followed my inner calling, I have never been happier with who I am. I consider myself non-op TS at the moment (2 years on HRT), my friends are CD's, TS, pre-op and post-op and GG girls. I follow my heart and not the leader, I am on my OWN path, where I'm heading time will tell what’s best for me.

Denise your welcome to join us out anytime, we get out all over the NJ, NY, PA, CT area, to many TG friendly as well as mainstream places, drop me a note we would be glad to have you join us out. (that goes for any other local girls too)

[Wen4cd]

35 is an age that is mentioned in a lot of Jung's texts regarding anima and unconscious life, etc... Middle-of-life time.

"Younger poeple, who have not yet reached the middle of life (around the age of 35), can bear even the total loss of the anima without injury......After the middle of life, however, permanent loss of the anima means a diminution of vitality, of flexibility, and of human kindness......After middle life, therefore, the connection with the archetypal sphere should if possible be re-established."

If you view urges to dress, 'pink fogs,' feeling 'feminine' or awakening of your 'feminine side' in terms of your anima personality 'making noise,' (which really means some of your most vital un-lived potentials are hollering at you from within to be expressed,) you can expect a lot of 'noise' starting around 35, give or take half a decade or so. Some people call this the 'mid-life identity crisis.' and it's a phenomena that reaches out way beyond CD's.

If you don't listen to it, it gets worse when repressed or ignored. If you do listen, you will still change as a person, but you will retain some control, and the change will be growth. YMMV It's a complicated thing, inner life, ever elusive and mysterious, even when you know something about it.

[Rachel Morley]

So my question is:: the longer you dress, do your inner emotions change and your mindset starts thinking like a woman.
Well I must admit a few years ago when I stopped "playing at being a girl" and became somewhat more serious about it all and at the same time increased the frequency and duration of my dressing, things did start to change. Yes, as you already alluded to, "it felt normal being dressed as a girl" ... and acting like one too. I think that the more you do the more natural it feels and becomes. My time now as "my Rachel self" is very natural and very rewarding for me and I like to spend more time like it ... it's definitely self perpetuating as far as I'm concerned. :2c:

[Janine cd]

Denise, I've been there myself. I'm twice 35 years in age (ugh! 70) and have experienced ther same doubts about crossdressing. I've tried to deny that it exists and have purged my wardrobe more times than I can recount. But the bottom line is always the same, you can't change what you are. I do believe that God intended me to be what I am and that includes the need to be feminine as often as I can.

[victoriamwilliams1]

As I have gotten older 40 in 2010! When I dress now I feel very natural and with age comes wisdom as well as an I don't care what people think about me attatide which I have gaind when dressed as a woman.

I personally have and still push the envelope on my dressing to be very much as feminine as I can with out being an mockery to women when I am out and about during the day/ Like you this forum made me grow more and lose the fear I had about being out as a woman and I will suggest to let things run its course.

[SuzanneBender]

I dress and go out more now at my advanced age. It is important to dress appropriate to one's age, I still may wear a miniskirt but when I wear breast forms the nipples are even with my navel.
:lol:time for a breast form lift or at least a Vickies Secret double cup push up bra.

[Jodi M]

I think as we get older we get tired of living our lives in a manner that our families or society expects. Why should we keep denying ourself the pleasure or comfort of dressing if its who we are and it hurts no one. To deny yorself would be to miss out on experiencing who you really are. I have had CD inclinations since I was a child but never dressed completely and went out till I was 48 and enjoy it more all the time. Now I am enjoying all that I am instead of just the male part. I would hate to get to the end of my life and have not experienced the femme part of me just because I was too worried about what society thinks.

[CherylFlint]

Worry? Why worry? What's the point. Relax, have fun. Walk out the door with a smile. We don't want worry lines, do we?

[SherriePall]

I think as we get older, we have been around the block too many times to really care about what most people think. We also have had time to get use to our femme side (or is it more than a side). I don't know about the loss of testosterone being a cause because I feel I haven't lost any (or very little).
Oh, to know then what I know now about my CDing! I probably wouldn't be posting as a crossdresser. If you catch my drift.

[bobi jean]

yes

[Alice B]

I started dressing very late in life, but as time goes by I dress more and more and work harder at it. This site has had a major effect on my self acceptance and how I present myself. And, in a round about way has helped my wife in her acceptance of Alice.

[Lorileah]

*pulls out 45 record of Frank Sinatra's It was a very good year, blows off dust, puts it on blue and white suitcase style record player. Pours three fingers of scotch on the rocks, lights cigarette....coughs and gags when I realize I don't smoke....pop crackle hiss When I was seventeen...*

I remember then....being a guy and getting a girl was all that was on my mind. I thought my preoccupation with girl's clothes was just the side effect of wanting to get beneath them, but the little voice in my head kept saying...gee that's a cute skirt I wish I had her

"When I was 35, it was a very good year" Yes it was, I was coming to reason that maybe I wasn't really strange but just that I liked how things felt. Had some things of my own by then. Still looked at women...saying...gee that's a cute skirt...I wish I had it

"and now the days grow short. I'm in the autumn of the year. And now I think of my life as vintage wine..." Now I see that I am who I am. I've mellowed. I have intricate essences. I am getting better at make up, moving, being more feminine. Just like everything time and practice makes it better. Unfortunately I can't see so well no more so I do a lot of eye makeup by feel. But the reason I am more open now is exactly what the song says. I am in the autumn of the year. Sewing seeds has gone. Soaking up the sun and thinking that summer will be forever has gone. If I am to be who I am and enjoy life, now is the time. They don't give re-rides in this rodeo. So I looked around and said "Does it matter to anyone what I wear?" Maybe my wife. But she had supported my clothing forever. I am not taking food from anyone's mouth nor money from their pocket. The sun rises in the East still and the world urns. I am not bothering anyone (except a few here on CD.com). So I wear what I like when I can ( honestly there still is the fact that I have to put food in MY mouth....where are you rich old prince?) and no one says anything. I think we get to the point where we realize that we have to please ourselves otherwise what good is life? Now I look at a woman and say...gee that is a cute skirt I wonder if they have it in my size

"vintage wine from fine old kegs from the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear It was a very good year"

Barkeep! refill please...and could you turn down that music...it's too loud

cheers all, drink up, we ride at dawn!

[TabbyJames]

As I have gotten older, wiser and more accepting of myself and the inner feminine being, I have also become more accepting of others and care less and less about what others (strangers) think. I am just coming to terms with who I am inside (both male and female) and its a long process. I have been CDing for almost 40 years in some way, until recently more of an underdresser, but the urge gets worse with time. My wife is the one who is having the difficult time, since I am in the pink fog, I cannot say where it will end and she just wants to know. My comment recently to her was "the furthest I can take this is to live full time as a woman, but as you know, I enjoy my male side too". "So I don't think you will have to worry about it reaching that point". Dont be afraid to live life as you choose, for when on your death bed you will look back and wish you had.

Tabby

[JamieOH]

*pulls out 45 record of Frank Sinatra's It was a very good year, blows off dust, puts it on blue and white suitcase style record player. Pours three fingers of scotch on the rocks, lights cigarette....coughs and gags when I realize I don't smoke....pop crackle hiss When I was seventeen...*

I remember then....being a guy and getting a girl was all that was on my mind. I thought my preoccupation with girl's clothes was just the side effect of wanting to get beneath them, but the little voice in my head kept saying...gee that's a cute skirt I wish I had her

"When I was 35, it was a very good year" Yes it was, I was coming to reason that maybe I wasn't really strange but just that I liked how things felt. Had some things of my own by then. Still looked at women...saying...gee that's a cute skirt...I wish I had it

"and now the days grow short. I'm in the autumn of the year. And now I think of my life as vintage wine..." Now I see that I am who I am. I've mellowed. I have intricate essences. I am getting better at make up, moving, being more feminine. Just like everything time and practice makes it better. Unfortunately I can't see so well no more so I do a lot of eye makeup by feel. But the reason I am more open now is exactly what the song says. I am in the autumn of the year. Sewing seeds has gone. Soaking up the sun and thinking that summer will be forever has gone. If I am to be who I am and enjoy life, now is the time. They don't give re-rides in this rodeo. So I looked around and said "Does it matter to anyone what I wear?" Maybe my wife. But she had supported my clothing forever. I am not taking food from anyone's mouth nor money from their pocket. The sun rises in the East still and the world urns. I am not bothering anyone (except a few here on CD.com). So I wear what I like when I can ( honestly there still is the fact that I have to put food in MY mouth....where are you rich old prince?) and no one says anything. I think we get to the point where we realize that we have to please ourselves otherwise what good is life? Now I look at a woman and say...gee that is a cute skirt I wonder if they have it in my size

"vintage wine from fine old kegs from the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear It was a very good year"

Barkeep! refill please...and could you turn down that music...it's too loud

cheers all, drink up, we ride at dawn!


LOVE THIS POST! The frank song is a classic, I love that song.. And it really does fit this topic well.. Very well written too.. Oh, and yes, I too remember that same thing, being younger, looking at girls, thinkin man, that is HOT, and the girl is cute too... ;)