Want to be a woman, But won't!

[Sarah Cummings]

Hi all you beautiful ladies, I'm Sarah, I'm very much in the closet with being a CDer. I've always been very discreet about it and I love going out to select places while dressed. Although I'm not 100% passable, I've been told that I'm very sexy. (That's at night). I wish that I could dress anytime I want, for as much time that I want and go where ever I want when I want, and on top of all that be treated as a sexy lady with some class. I have fantasized of becoming a woman. but for good reason I would never do it. First reason is the biggest reason, It would all be for sexual purposes. I would NOT be a good candidate to be come transexual. I'm comming into my late 40's now and I can't say that I ever felt that I was a woman trapped in a male body. I have fantasized what it be like to have breasts and a vagina as well as soft feminine skin nice hair and be appealing to both men and women. I love wearing sexy feminine attire and when I am dressed I completely turn my thoughts to actually believe I am a woman. I love being romantic,sensuous,sensitive and of course PASSIONATE!!!! I have a picture I could use for an avatar but, I have no way to put it on the site. I so much fantasize being made love to like a woman with a vagina and also making love to another woman like a lesbian lover using toys etc. How many of you should feel the way I do? let me hear from all of you. Love you all, Sarah.

[samantha78]

be all you can be with what you have! being "woman" like us is a goft that I learned that not everyone is gifted with! and quickly learned that you have to be happy with your self!

[Sarah Cummings]

I'm happy with myself and though some may not feel comfortable in the closet, I am. especially if it's a walk in closet. LoL. Anyway, I have other things that make it less ample for the time for me to be that "inner" woman. But the thought of actually being a "changed" woman turns me on sexually. There are to many things that would make my life difficult and unbareable if I were to start taking hormones to make the changes. It's all fantasy. My being a crossdresser is good for me because I can switch back anytime. There will be some time comming, somewhere down the line when I will be able to go somewhere for a vacation maybe, and I can get dressed the whole time I'm away and mabe have a few of my girlfriends like yourselves with me. mmm, sounds like some sexy and sexual fun. Love Sarah.

[Marda]

Hi Sarah,

I used to think like you ... pretty much exactly ... but now as more I learn, I realize I'm Androgynous (and have been since I was a child) and that crossdressing is just the most tangible and visible expression of that ...

hopefully one day I'll get approval from my doctor to go ahead with hormone treatment to more fully realize my feminine nature without destroying my male function(s) or following with full SRS :-) ... if the doctors say "No" for medical reasons, then I'll live with that reality maybe somewhat like a cancer patient lives with breast removal :-(

it will take a very special woman to understand and accept me as *I Am* ... but I do believe she's out there :-)

Love / Marda

[samantha78]

Sarah honey,
this website is the best thing that ever happened to me!!! I was afraid to come out too. just take baby steps till your comfortable then close the closet door from the outside! thats what I'm in the process of doing! right now I'm at my friends house in a shimmery white blouse, girl jeans, and pink sketcher tennis shoes under sll that I have on a black bra and black thong. no on will see me like this right now because I live in the back woods!
Have confidence in your self girl!

Love
Samantha

[Stelli]

Try to figure out what it works for you. Sometimes I feel I would be enjoying to have female body, but male body also gives plenty of pleasures. To change sex is big undertaking not only from medical side, and that is the reason why only ones that feel being in the wrong body opt to do it. We all have some regrets in our lifes. And as human beings we learn how to live with our regrets. It is discouraging to learn that you cannot do something but still there is plenty of things you can do.

I can give you hint. See where your opinion on not being 100% passable comes from. For example I find that some GG's are not 100% passable either :)

[KittyMuffin]

My problem with being a guy is that I feel it would be expected of me to be all he-man and buff, with no sensetive side. I don't want to sound selfish, but I also feel like why should I have to give all the loving? Why can't I be the one who is held and caressed?

[Marda]

Hi KittyMuffin,

KittyKatMarda here :-)

This may sound a bit *Hard*, but I mean it in a *nice* way ...
***
Re: "KittyMuffin ... My problem with being a guy is that I feel it would be expected of me to be all he-man"
***
"Who's In Charge Of Your Life Dear?"

A couple of friendly ideas 4 U ...

1) You're young ... *You* can take charge and *direct* your life ... *Be You* :-) Never mind what "They" say on television !

2) Take your time to "Learn" about yourself and "Who" you *Really Are* ... Being a Tgirl is *Not a Race* :-)

3) Be Kind To Yourself !!!

Love / Marda

[Sarah Cummings]

Hi all, Well, like I mentioned in my first post, that as much I as I fantasize about being a woman, it's ALL for sexual reasons. I do enjoy my male side as well. But occasionally, I would enjoy being treated as a sexy woman with the proper respect that a classy sexy woman should get. I'm also am I bi (as afore mentioned, so I also would love to be treated the same way by another female. I truly don't have a desire to actually become a woman, and my Peter says oh no, Please don't send me away! LoL. Fantasies can come true depending on how much you want them. I just wish I could have the freedom to dress anytime and anywhere. But I just have way to much to lose if I came out of the closet. First, My best friend. and then The nice big spacious closet that I'm in. (nice and comfy). Please, continue with your thoughts though, I really appreciate them, Really!!! Love Sarah

[Marda]

Hi Sarah,

Tnx for opening some Earth for us to "dig in" :-))

According to Napolean Hill ... Faith, Love & Sex are the 3 most powerful human emotions ... so, it would seem that "Sex", the one element we are "born" with, is a pretty good reason for crossdressing ...

Now, just for purposes of exploration ... you mention your friend "Mr.Peter" ... I *Know* what you mean !!!

Suppose you were to be diagnosed with some rather irreversible condition that necessitated a medication with an unfriendly side effect on your body chemistry ... and that all "Viagra" could do is keep your begonias from wilting :-(

Q. "Would Sarah cash in her savings bonds and go hunting with the lads?"

KuriousKittyKat I Am :-)

Love / Marda

[Sarah Cummings]

Dear sweet Marda, I'm just on my way to work when I saw your post. I will respond to it very soon, I promise. Things have been rather hectic lately, espsecially after "Tropical breeze Charlie" came through VirginiaBeach just recently. To all the girls who live south of me and in Fla, I wish you much love and hope you all recouperate real soon. Love Sarah. xoxoxoxo :)

[odelay]

I feel very much the same way, but I'm still a youngin'. I have a lot of time ahead of me to explore and to figure out what's best for me.

[klinger]

For some people, the closet is a good place to be. I think that if you are comfortable there, then you should be able to stay there. For other people, the closet is just not fulfilling enough, and they must come out in one way or another.
Personally I enjoy the freedom that the closet allows me in society. "My privacy".

[Sarah Cummings]

Marda, could you explain some more of what you meant by "cashing in and go hunting with the lads. If I were to have something unfortunate happen to the extent that Mr. Peter were to be amputated, I would then make up my mind then and go all the way and just BE A WOMAN!!!! waiting to hear from all of you on that thought. What would YOU do? Love Sarah. :confused: