Does your wife/SO accept your CD and if so how long did it take

[TabbyJames]

Just curious about the stories you all have about how your wife/SO handles your dressing, what the "rules are", and how long it took her to accept your girlish beauty, if she has?

[Karren H]

No.... and I seriously dowubt no mater how many lifetimes you can add in she will ever accept it..

[Angelofsomekind]

We were engaged, about to close on a house, I knew I had to tell her before we got the house. I tried several times, I'd have it right there on the tip of my tongue and then I'd stop and think about what I was going to say and it sounded so stupid in my head, I couldn't get it out.

Then one night we got a call from the realtor with a counter offer, I hung up with her and my fiancee at the time says she found some panties in my closet, what's up with that. So I felt since it's out there, I have to tell her. I did, and it didn't seem to go very well. She cried, didn't know what to do. She said she was going to come back the next night and we would talk. That next day was probably the longest day of my life! She came back and we sat down and talked, she had a list of questions for me and wanted to see all my clothes. At first she was afraid that she would come home one day and I'd be dressed up and she wouldn't know what to do. She didn't really seem to want anything to do with it. But I was ok with that, I would keep it seperate. For a while it seemed everytime we would talk on the phone she would joke about it, but when we were togeather she was uncomfortable talking about it, I pointed that out and she noticed it to.

I don't know the exact timetable but eventually she asked to see some pictures of me dressed, so I showed her. A while later she asked to see me dressed. At that point she said it was no big deal, it's still just me but in different clothes.

It has been about 4 years since then, I think, and now if I'm not wearing some article of women's clothes she gives me a dissapointed look. We went to Be All the last two years, before the first one she said she was worried that she was going to miss me. About a week after Be All she said she missed Brit.

[gennee]

My wife is accepting up to a point. We share so clothes but she won't go out with me when I'm dressed. Someday maybe.


Gennee

:)

[kathyw]

texas will have to freeze up before my wife will let me dress. she get mad everytime i ask for adress.

[KarenCDFL]

I told my wife of 14 years 3 months into the relationship. She had no clue of what it was all about but being the person she is and having Internet Access (this was 16 years ago) she learned all about it and we come to a successful resolution of this is who I am and we loved each other so it has been wonderful!

[ikatrina]

Told my wife (obviously then GF) within the first couple days we met during a 5-6 hour phone call. She took it in stride and wasn't bothered at all by it. A lot of that understanding was probably due to my mutual understanding of a rare female medical condition that she has. We both had our individual "oddities" that the other understood and accepted. We jokingly call each other "freaks" :)

She has always "participated" in my dressing from buying me everything you can imagine to all sorts of interesting bedroom activities. We share the clothing that we can and have girlfriend nights often....chick flicks, painting each others nails, card readings etc. The other day while getting ready for work she asked if I had an extra pair pantyhose that she could use......for some strange reason that felt quite good.

I've had the "pink fog" feeling more and more lately and she completely understands my desire and has said that she doesn't mind if I dress up every day or evening if I need/want to. The only caveat she has was that if my dressing ever expands into something more and I felt like I needed to live as a woman then we "needed to have another talk". Obviously, she wants to keep the husband she married....even if I wear a skirt a large percentage of time. Like many of us, I've thought about being a woman but realistically she doesn't have anything to worry about.....and she knows that.

She's explained to me that she has her own internal struggles about my dressing that are like my own. She's attracted to the muscular male me while undressed and desires a smaller me when dressed. Similarly, society "says" that as the male me I should be muscular while the female me wants to look more feminine and fit into sexy outfits. We're working on a balance that works for both of us.

[SusanMarie]

My SO accepts, supports and participates...
In fact, she accepted right away...
She knew about my femme side long before I understood it.:o

[DiannaRose]

She doesn't accept it, and I doubt she ever will. I re-told her recently, 25 years into our relationship, 21 into our marriage. I told her before we got serious, but back then I though it was something I could stop, so I told her I wouldn't do it any more. That didn't work out. :) Tried several times to tell her after that, but she would give me hints that this was something with which she couldn't handle, so I buried it down again. Then, recently, she was ggoing through a crisis of her own, about which she was being killer open and honest with me. So this secret I've been carrying around with me starts eating away at me ("She's being so open, you scumbag...you need to be open with her!" said I to myself.) I held it in as long as I could, but in the end I just broke. And by telling her, I nearly broke her. She really can't handle it.

We have our first couples counseling appointment next week, with a counselor who's been dealing with the LGBT community for 20 years, including many situations like ours. I'm praying every minute that God will help us work things out, but I have little hope without His intervention. I know for a fact I want more than she's going to be able to give. Not "willing"..."able". So if I end up agreeing to abide by her terms (which right now include keeping it secret, never letting her know about it, never letting her find out about it, probably never going out in public dressed, even to a local, safe CD event, no wig, no leg-shaving, essentially no Dianna, except for a few minutes (literally!) whenever I'm alone in the house long enough to make any difference...which is rare), I think I'm going to break again. I can't keep it all buried inside any more.

So we'll see how this therapist works out! Keep your fingers crossed and your prayers winging! :)

[Alicia_lynn419]

Angelofsomekind.. that is a wonderful and encouraging story!

[CherylFlint]

Ha! My SO thinks I'll "out grow it".

[TabbyJames]

I asked this question to get a feel for what others have experienced. I have been married for 11 years to a wonderful and supportive wife who I adore. she only found out about my "secret" last valentines day when she found panties in our bed at our cabin, of course I had to come clean. Since then, she has been very tolerent (I wouldn't say supportive) of my desires to CD, I have always been an underdresser (secretly) and she accepts that every day now, I wear lingerie to bed almost every night and that too seems to be ok. I spent years wearing her clothes (secretly) when she was on business trips. Recently, I went out and bought my own, skirts, dresses, tunics, blouses, etc... and told her about it (I already own more intimate apperal than almost any GG owns). Now she is really confused... and I understand. Where does it end, she askes. What about the kids? Our friends? Our family? Are you going to dress in front of them? Do you want to go out as a woman? Make-up, wigs, shoes...? DO YOU WANT TO BE A WOMAN?

UGGHH! I just don't know. I do know however that she will be there, accepting whatever it is I choose to become, and for that I feel extremely fortunate. Perhaps someday she might go beyond tolerence and support it (ie. all I want for christmas is that beautiful pair of pumps over there. and that stunning red dress. and that awsome skirt. and those shinny chandelier earings. and the necklace). To hell with the power tools.

[ikatrina]

I'm very glad that you have a wife that is tolerant and is growing into a supportive role.

I'm also quite sorry for those of you that can't tell your SOs or have and aren't supported. Along those line and as a continuing thought to my above entry....

Being open/honest and supportive of each other (for us) has only advantages and no disadvantages.

We're more feeling, accepting and open to each others needs.
There are NO secrets between us.
We can explore and discuss our various sexual fantasies without concern what the other is going to think.
We can openly discuss all life goals without having to keep things from the other.
She always has a close girlfriend to discuss anything and everything.
It makes us both happy, which makes the household happy and therefore life generally is less stressful.
I can go on but you get the just of it.....

My wife and I are in our mid-30's.....there seems to be a correlation between SO acceptance and age groups. To me, on average it looks like younger couples are more open to CDing while "older" couples appear to be less accepting. What do you think? Could it be MTV :)

[Rebecca Jayne]

and the jury is hung "L^&%$#@)?"&^%"

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Ah, went to her before I started dressing with the hey Hon, you know what I'd like to try and do???? from that point let's just say it's been one wild and crazy 20 months...

I have no idea where it stand from moment to moment....there's ups and there are definate "downs" as well...a lot of it depends on her mood at the given moment...

But we go shopping together for clothes for both us girls... gone and had pedicures together and we both got our nails painted...I can go out dressed to clubs by myself and that's not an issue....she gets to go out to her clubs with her GF's...

She sometimes buys me little things on a spur....

So???? Who knows....but we've spit up for awhile and I even moved out of state...that last 10 days before she called....

Anyway, play it by ear one day at a time....

[lowlavalentine]

Not a chance....regardless of the time frame. I have to give her credit; after she recovered from the shock, she tried, she really tried. But despite her effort my softer side remains a distasteful problem in her eyes.

[PretzelGirl]

My wife has pretty much been along for the ride. There have been times I pushed it forward faster than she was probably thinking I should and other times I tried to keep the status quo as I perceived she needed things to stabilize.

Along the way, she had her boundaries. Or at least they were ones I perceived. As time went on, I learned that some weren't real and others just melted away.

So now I am at the point where I am ready to do the things I never thought I would with the capper being going out. How does she feel about it? She is fully supportive and even tells me that some things aren't a big deal. A week after I had a foundation match, we went by the store and she asked the SA how much a make-up lesson would be. That one sure caught me off-guard. She does surprise me a lot here. That is one of the reasons why I take things a step at a time, to ensure I stay within her comfort zone. I am beginning to think I can't get out of her comfort zone without blowing through mine first. :heehee:

You can't predict how anyone will react. There are so many things in play here, you just have to be loving and supportive and don't push it while she is working though things. It may come quick or it may take time, so be patient if needed.

[Sandra]

I have been married for 11 years to a wonderful and supportive wife who I adore. she only found out about my "secret" last valentines day

See you have had a long time getting used to this and she's had what, 10 months,. Dont expect her to be all happy and having a great time with it all.





Recently, I went out and bought my own, skirts, dresses, tunics, blouses, etc... and told her about it (I already own more intimate apperal than almost any GG owns). Now she is really confused... and I understand. Where does it end, she askes. What about the kids? Our friends? Our family? Are you going to dress in front of them? Do you want to go out as a woman? Make-up, wigs, shoes...? DO YOU WANT TO BE A WOMAN?

Maybe if you'd talked to her about buying all the stuff first then she might be a little less confused, and may have offered to help you.

Have you sat down and really had a good talk with her about how you feel and what the dressing means to you?

Support, acceptance very rarely comes over night, it takes time and even then in some case it never happens....but talk try taking to her but dont' overload her.....

you could also suggest that she join the forum and chat with other wives/partners in the FAB forum we have.

Just wanted to add, I've been married to Nigella for 22 years and knew about her cding 6 months after we got married..it took me quite a few years to become totally supportive.

[TerriM]

Im married 37yrs. I told my wife about 27yrs ago. Shock is putting it mildly of her reacton. To this day she hasnt seen me dressed. But i get out about 1x a month. Go away for about 4 days on femme getaway and hang some of our things in our closet. I consider myself lucky.

Yours Terri

[Mary Jane]

My wife TOLERATES mt dressing and that is better than nothing. No chance of her ever accepting it.

[glynnis]

Im very lucky my wife totally accepts me dressed.Buys me clothes and makeup.Encourages me to go out dressed,although I only go out in the car sometimes.:)

[Jocelyn Quivers]

It took my wife who was my girlfriend at the time about 1 week before she actually wanted to see "Jocelyn" live and in color. As far as current rules there really arent any being that my fem side is such a norm and non issue compared to other things in our marriage and a lot of self imposed restrictions and common sense on my part.

[abigailf]

It still upsets my wife. However, she is trying. She buys me things. Let’s me dress up at home as long as nobody is around. We shop together (when I am in male mode). She is even willing to go out with me dressed.

The thing that bothers her the most is someone we know finding out. That is her biggest fear. My cavalier attitude about that subject does not help matters.

[Josey]

As I have stated on many occasions my wife has been supportive over our many years together. Have never been asked why I enjoy CDing but have received support necessary to continue my indulgence. I consider myself a really lucking person to have found her/

[susan2010]

I've told most of this story in other posts.
Wife had been fairly accepting of some mild dressing (panties) as sex play before and during marriage, but that ended years ago. When I wanted to do more dressing, she demanded I stop completely. I tried and couldn't stop. We are working on legal separation right now.
I wonder if it would have been different if I had been completely honest about myself before we married. I THINK the answer is no; she became more conservative and less tolerant as years passed. BTW: Therapy did not save the marriage: therapist urged her to be more accepting and compromise: she refused.
PS: Cd is not the only issue, but I think the marriage would have survived other difficulties.

[AndreaCD1963]

I told my other half after we had been dating for a couple of months. She didn't bat an eye lid - her reaction was "at least you're not an axe murderer". When she finally got to meet and go out with Andrea, her reaction was "it's about time, and thank you for letting me meet her". Ever since then, no big deal. Her ONLY rule is that her kids don't know about Andrea - which does restrict me a bit since we moved in together. Other than that though, anything goes - I dress at home and out (when the kids aren't around), we go out together, we shop together - Andrea even gets Christmas gifts :-)

[MarciManseau]

I met Julie well after I'd gone full time, so she's known me as Marci all along, and says she can't even imagine the other me. I told her the other side of me is dead, and will never come back. She was delighted. I love her so much!

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[Allsteamedup]

There are a few things that stick out in you story.
Have you answered any of the questions she asked you? Did you even bother to consider what might have been at the back of why she asked them?
If you are constantly underdressed and in lingerie for bed, when does her husband put in an appearance?
And the cost of all this? You have young children. Can you really justify all this expense and keeping them out of the bedroom and from hugging you in case they feel something.?
Lots of posts here suggest balance but you seem to have lost yours.
And don't take it for granted that she will always be there. Look what you have heaped on her in less than a year.
Do you know what she would like for Christmas?!!

[TabbyJames]

There are a few things that stick out in you story.
Have you answered any of the questions she asked you? Did you even bother to consider what might have been at the back of why she asked them?
If you are constantly underdressed and in lingerie for bed, when does her husband put in an appearance?
And the cost of all this? You have young children. Can you really justify all this expense and keeping them out of the bedroom and from hugging you in case they feel something.?
Lots of posts here suggest balance but you seem to have lost yours.
And don't take it for granted that she will always be there. Look what you have heaped on her in less than a year.
Do you know what she would like for Christmas?!!

Very valid questions and they are all ones that we have discussed, albeit some without resolution yet. I have tried to answer her questions and we talk openly about them, the problem is that some of them don't have an answer yet and I/we are seeking them. I think I know whats in the back of her mind and feel that she is trying to communicate these feelings to me, as I try to understand them. As for Balance, the see-saw goes both ways, life is a balancing act! And yes, I always know what she wants for christmas and see to it that she is both suprised and happy. I have no fear she will be here for the long run, we work together to overcome everything that is thrown at us, this one is no exception.

[Lorileah]

The way I remember it (it was 30 years ago) was walking through Sears and the close out shoes, jute Candies type slides with about a 3 inch heel.

me: Can I have these?

Her: They look a little small.

Me: But they are 3$.

Her: You will have a hard time walking in them.

Me with big puppy dog eyes holding the shoe.

Her: OK but you will not like walking in them.

I still have the shoes, no they didn't fit well, they pinched my toes and I looked like I was on a three day drunk. Worse yet I didn't own a skirt yet so I looked funny in my cut-offs.

After that she would point out a dress or skirt that I might like, didn't buy it very often though because we didn't waste much money. Then over time my underwear morphed and she would buy me panties on sale (now I have so many I really need to throw some out), then she suggested pantyhose for winter, then skirts around the house, giving me first dibs on clothes she was giving away.

She was always confused as to why I liked dressing in these things because she found them uncomfortable and a "requirement" to look feminine, but she never said I couldn't do it. She never asked if I wanted to be a woman, she knew me well enough that wasn't an issue and if I had I think she would have stayed anyway. When her mother moved in and needed lipstick I gave her a tube I never used. My wife just said it is who he is. My MIL is finally tolerating it after 5 years. Had more trouble with her than I even had with my wife. She still calls me ugly and says I am going to hell...She doesn't know I have reservations there :)

My wife only had one rule, "Do not embarrass me" which I broke a million times in male mode but never in femme.

[suchacutie]

We discovered Tina together the very first time I was ever "dressed", such as it was at that point. We named Tina and have nurtured her together from that first moment over 4 years ago.

It's been quite a ride!

[flic]

My gf has known since a few months into the relationship,,,i think it explained a lot for her at the time. She is a constant support for me and has helped me to accept that this is just who i am,,,,and gives me the support I need when the tg stuff gets a little overwhelming for me. And yes, i know how amazingly fortunate i am,,,it's been a long road, but we're still together 7 years later, so something's gone right! I am eternally grateful to her for finding strength to take me as i am.
x flic x

[DiannaRose]

She still calls me ugly and says I am going to hell...She doesn't know I have reservations there

To the first...Has she seen you? :)

For the second, everything I've read in your posts here tell me otherwise. You've got a good soul, Lorileah, so I fully expect to be seeing you outside the pearly gates! No, you can't pick the pearls off to make a necklace! :)

[KarenEdwards]

No. Absolutely, positively, completely not. In a thousand years, the answer would be the same. Earth will not last long enough for her to change her mind!

[Samantha Girl]

The day I told her is a loooong story! But let's just say she was very accepting and had tons of questions. We were on our way home from a trip and she couldn't wait to get home to see my girly stuff. My girl met Samantha that very night and made love to her :) I am INCREDIBLY lucky! :cheer: We still have some ups and downs but overall she's completely accepting. Tonight she came home to find Samantha doing her hair and asked when she'd be done. Why I ask. She says "I wanted to know when she'd be ready for some fun!" :D

I'm sorry you haven't all experienced the same joy. It makes me very sad :(

[aprilgirl]

My wife is extremely supportive and really enjoys shopping with me in either mode. I told her six months into dating as our relationship grew serious and felt she needed to know. Her initial reactions and feelings were more based on curiousity than anything else. She was'nt judgemental or upset and simply took the information I provided in stride. I showed her photos and my wardrobe shortly thereafter and she promptly went shopping and updated my closet and dresser drawers.

We took things slowly for her to get accustomed, including me underdressing for bed. It was nine months after my indulgence that she had finally seen me fully dressed. She was quite relieved and comfortable with me in femme mode when she realized it was still me.

As far as ground rules go, there is really only one. That is keeping an open and honest line of communication.

[trisha254]

Well I started dating again after many years as a widower, And on the second date I told her about my life style , and to my surpise she said Lets give it a try ,that was over two months ago , I can.t explain the joy I have found with thie lady she as been such a joy and all I can say I,am one luckly gaL

Trish

[rayander01]

My wife is barely accepting at best. She does not understand it and while she has read some post on this site, she still doesn't understand. Has never seen me dressed and has no desire to. At least I can still underdress. Guess I'm better off than some.

Rey

[Blaire]

I've been married for 9 years, my wife has known of my CDing for about 13 of them.

She accepts that this is something I need to do for my well-being. She understands that this isn't really a hobby or a fetish, or anything I can be happy without. She allows me to have my stuff in my closet, on and in the vanity, shoes under the bed. She used to be a little snippy about it, but that's settled down with time. I still try to "get my fix" when I'm away or she is, and thought she'll never say it, I think she appreciates that effort.

I can be dressed when she's around, and have gone out dressed with the right plans in place - that she gets to approve. We'll sit and watch tv or read or hang out together at home dressed or not.

She drew the line at being out and open with the kids and family. It's not a line I'm too interested in flirting with myself yet, and so I have no problems accepting her limits. Relatively speaking, I have it pretty good, and have no desire to rock the boat. I don't really go out of my way to hide all my stuff. My bedroom slippers are fuzzy purple heels, and they hang out in plain sight. The kids like to stomp around in them.

She gets her guy time when she wants it, I get my girl time when I want it. We share, and it's worked out pretty good so far. She just did a closet purge - downsizing in more ways than one - and didn't throw anything away until I got a chance at some of her stuff. I separated it out into no's and maybe's and she figured why not try it on now to better manage the maybe pile. I was going to wait for her to not be around, but went ahead and turned the maybe pile into a yes and no pile.

She's working towards me, and I'm in no hurry to pull her along. When she's got to step back for a bit, I'll wait. She tells me when I'm getting on too much, and I listen. During a recent trip to the mall she pointed out that we were supposed to be shopping for her, so we should really move over to the clothes she's got preference for. I realized that she wasn't getting enough time with us for her. No problem. People say that relationships are about give and take... I'm learning that it's not so much that, but more like give and get given to.

[sherri52]

No for both wives. I've had a lot of great clothes thrown away by both. I get to keep my clothes now.

[fjrpilot]

My wife understand the panties 24/7, was semi ok with me wearing a sports bra while jogging, but absolutely hates full fem.

[tamyracd]

My wife of 26 yrs has known for most of them, but mum's the word she knows it's something i need in my life, she wishes i didn't do it but lives with it. I keep it out of sight maybe some lipstick and nail polish in my drawer in the bathroom some clothes hanging but hidden in my side of closet. She's a great woman and i respect her feelings...as far as her ever accepting it completely i don't think that will ever happen..but i still feel lucky to have what i have...

[Erica2Sweet]

My SO and I met online initially, so she was introduced to my female persona before she ever saw me in boy-mode. That was one year ago this week and now we share a home and are discussing marriage. :)

[Brandi Wyne]

I have been married for 41 years to the same woman. I have dressed secretly for longer than that. I grew up in the miswestern "Christian" tradition and my wife is also a product of that mind. However, I always craved to be dressed to one degree or another, even though we were both active in the conservative church, etc.

Here we are, all that time later and she is not just opposed to any of it but finds it all "perverted and disgusting". I totally agree that "that" conversation should have happened over 41 years ago; but it didn't. She she came home and found me in panties and I had a pair of pantyhose hanging in our bedroom. I suppose that was the best time for a clean break as I'm sure we would have split and our paths gone separate ways.

She knows I keep smooth all over and it can't be a huge surprise as to why I would do that, if not to look more femme. What would happen if we had the "talk"? I'll let you know when and if it happens.

Mickey:brolleyes:

[Claire B]

Within 3 months of Cindy's and mine starting an relationship. I told her that I am a crossdresser. This didn't seem to phase her that much. Over the next several month, together we bought lingerie for her and for Claire. Along with skirts, blouses and dresses. Cindy even helped picking out the best out fits that would suit my build and body style. She even purchased and taught me how to put on makeup. Then she went cold and became unsupportive. Cindy knew that I dressed on Mondays, when the kids were at school and she was at work. And she was just ok with that. As long as she didn't see me dressed it was just ok.
Over the years she noticed quite a change in my personality. I was becoming depressed, because I was trying to withdraw from dressing completely. I was constantly stressed out. She asked me when was the last time that I became Claire. I told her that it had been a very long time. So she asked where my clothing was. I told her that I didn't have any. And so she she went out and without me knowing. Cindy purchased several out fits, lingerie, nylons shoes and etc:. Then one day I was working in the house on a project. She came in from work, and called me up to our bedroom.

[Claire B]

Sorry about the split posting. Computer goof up.
Anyway she had laid out a complete outfit on the bed. And told me that she want me to dress for her. So I did. I must tell you that being Claire again felt wonderful. And to this day, Cindy will not let me go more than 2 Mondays without becoming Claire. Even as I write this I am totaly dressed as Claire from head to toe.

[JulieC]

Sorry about the split posting. Computer goof up.
Anyway she had laid out a complete outfit on the bed. And told me that she want me to dress for her. So I did. I must tell you that being Claire again felt wonderful. And to this day, Cindy will not let me go more than 2 Mondays without becoming Claire. Even as I write this I am totaly dressed as Claire from head to toe.

That's an awesome story Claire. Major, major kudos to your wife!

[lisajd]

My wife caught me dressed 2 years ago, it was scary, but we've made it so far. She doe'nt really like it, but she has come to accecpt it. It's confusing when she says she doe'nt want me to dress, and the next day she'll buy me some girly clothes, good luck hope it works.

[Kate17]

Mine is a work in progress. I have tried to nurture the theme slowly so as not to have her push back. It is hard sometimes because i want to dress all the time. But, my rational self knows the wisdome of patience. My closet is full of Kate's clothes and my wife goes shopping with me. I am in drab. She has not seen me in full make up but I recently started putting on a little foundation before we go out. I wear my earrings and some very light lipstick around the house now ( recent development) but I do not go overboard. We have side by side vanity areas and mine has all kinds of cremes, lipsticks etc. Everynight i do wear some nightgown - can't live with out it.

So it is coming along pretty well. We even started sharing clothes ! I would love to wear make up but i think that is a way off yet. That i am doing a little at a time. I don't think this is being devious. I know she loves me as a human being so I just have to get her over the years of ingrained gender bias - a man is a man etc.

[marisa]

i told the g/f about my much softer side after about 3 or 4 months together. that was almost 2 yrs ago. we've grown very close. she loves the fact she's got a b/f and a g/f all rolled in to one. she even told me a week ago that if i should feel the need to take it to the next level that she would be there right by my side. god i love her. oh, and it only took her about 5 seconds to be accepting.

[MissyW]

My wife knew about my crossdressing before we married and has accepted it. No real rules and she will buy me things on occation.

[Destiny]

My wife and i share in a female led relationship, for those who are not familar with the term, it basically means that i am her submissive and for the most part, her property. We have been together for 11 yrs and living this lifestyle for well over half the time we've been together (have been dressing for a couple of yrs). My feminization is part of the natural evolution of giving up control to her and making myself vulnerable but make no mistake, i love it just as much as she does. We shop together, do each other's nails, share makeup and all the other things girlfriends do only, she calls the shots and i follow her lead, without hesitation or argument.
:)

Edit: Also, how could i forget my favorite thing about our relationship, im also her sissy maid. I do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry in a french maids uniform we picked up at a costume shop last year although im looking to have a new satin uniform maid if i can find the right dressmaker.

[Amanda Styles]

I never disclosed my crossdressing desires to my first wife prior to our marriage. Things came up later when we spent intimate time getting to know each other, asking questions about things we did not know about each other.
I let her know that I had a girlfriend in HS that wanted to style my long hair and put makeup on me but never let her do it.
Apparently this was not something that my new wife had on her mind.
I dressed in private and eventually she found my stash , and caught me dressed, which did not go over well.
We divorced and I relocated to another city, where I got together with a girl I had known since HS days.
I still continued to dress in private. Soon after she found my stash and confronted me about it. She actually thought I had kept my previous girlfriends undies , and I had to tell her they were mine. She stayed with me and we married, with her half hearted participation in my CD side. Eventually that relationship ended in divorce like the first.

[Sooty]

My wife not only knows, she actively encourages me.

On the wedding night she had an overnight bag with lacy undies for us both, and let me try the wedding dress.

I've been hot and cold over the years about it, but she still loves it and buys me things every so often.

[Jaydee]

This has been a very interesting thread. My wife and I are just beginning the journey. It has already been a bumpy road. After 33 years, I finally came out to her about three months ago. I had been wearing plain panties for a while and pantyhose and bras occasionally when she wasn't around, but she knew. The clothes would go in the hamper and wind up back in my dresser drawer.
After I came out with the whole story, she had a hard time with it. We have had many long talks. She had thought it would be a "phase" and I would grow out of it. She now knows that I won't out grow it, she is working on tolerance. I still don't dress around her, but now she no longer washes the femme clothes. She hasn't said anything about it. I am hoping that eventually she will be more comfortable with the subject. Here's hoping...

Jaydee

[chriscosmos]

My wife became jealous of the woman I was. 25 years ago I could pass, more or less and looked pretty good. She felt she could never measure up to the woman I carried inside. Plus, she had no sexual attraction to me as a woman at all.

We stayed married for many years and separated -- the problem may have been that I never felt I could be myself with her. After she got to know me as a woman I dressed in secret and that was fine with her she just didn't want to see me or have the kids see me. After all this time I realize this hurt me. I thought I could take it or leave it but I'm finding out it doesn't work that way.

[Jenniferpl]

Coming out to my wife took place over a long period of time. She is accepting but I am keep it to my self these days. I do wear things to bed though but she has drawn a line wiith me wearing underwire bras to bed. Other than that, anything goes. She has bought me makeup and let me use her nail polish. The best part is not sneaking around. The only real rule is the kids cannot know about it, which ok with me.

[lorisdream]

I knew going into this 3rd marriage my future wife would know and accept everything about me. At our ages why play games? She accepts and loves me for who I am. I can dress whenever I want and she does not have a problem with it. Her concern (and mine) are the kids finding out.

[JenniferR771]

I actually felt I would be cured by marriage. No. It grew strong about 20 years later. I dropped a few hints--negative response. We were feeling romantic near our 25th anniversary. I got careless--when she came home early and caught me in her clothes. Since then she has hated my cding. However, she has gradually ( Just got a phone call, among other things, "I am so sick and tired of your crap.") gradually accepted small things over the years. Now there are 10 wigs and 6 dresses in my closet. I am allowed to dress when she is not home. For the first time yesterday she read several posts in a thread here. She knows the names of a few of my cd friends and email buddies. She did not object--(too much) when I went to support group or Tri-ess. She has sometimes accidentally happened upon a few of my pics on the computer. Very upset at the idea that friends or relatives might find out.

[MarciManseau]

She knew, didn't condone, didn't discuss. I kept it discrete. Went to far, wife couldn't handle it, now I sit here alone in my meager apt. enjoying the company of you girls here on line.

:love: Evie

Edie, I'm soooo sorry that this happened to you, sweetie. That's awful! I hope your family and friends are there for you. Wish you were closer so we could be shopping buddies :)

Hundreds of hugs from both of us. Marci and Julie

[TeriAnn]

I told my wife 5 years into our marriage. We had just returned from our five year wedding ann. in Daytona Beach Florida, I had decided to tell her while we were there but I was afraid of messing up our vacation, so I waited.
I worked up the courage to tell after we got home and went into the bedroom where she was resting form our trip, I just blurted everything out in a flurry of words. She didn't say anything at first and I figured I had killed our marriage and relationship. She looked at me a said she needed some time to process what I had said.
A few days later I asked her what she thought about what I had said. She said she was fine with it and has been very supportive with no restrictions. As of know we are not together but not because of my cding. She is bipolar and drinks way to much but I still stand by her as she has stood by me. Over all I think my wife is wonderful for accepting me for who I am not the way I dress. As a matter of fact she is the one who found this site and insisted that I join

[5150 Girl]

My ex wanted nothing to do with it. Didn't want to see it, hear about it, nothing.
I didn't the chance to tell her before she found my "stash" and accused me of having an afair. It was a real bad scene! Based on that, I vowed that if I ever found myself having to start over with someone new, (though at the time I couldn't imagine it would hapen) I would be upfront with this.
So, when I met my Polar Bear, I spilled everything right off the bat. She's very suportive participates, the whole 9 yards!

[theresa]

My wife is my best friend, girlfriend, and partner. She shares everything including my Cd'g with me and is very supportive. She gives me the best Christmas presents a girl could ask for.

[CamilleLeon]

It took my SO a few months to accept who I am...she was sure I was gay or wanted to become a woman but she's come to understand that I'm just a heterosexual guy that loves skirts and dresses. Since then she's been very supportive...she bought me a wig for Halloween and I dress up with her a few times a week.

[StephSissy]

When I moved in with my SO prior to getting married, I got rid of everything I had cause I didn't think she be open to it and loved her too much to chance it (that really was hard throwing away a $150 pair of custom made shoes!). Got married about a year later. Two years into the marraige, my mothers side of the family was having a halloween party and I suggested we both crossdress. She was all for it and we got all the stuff--she and her sister did me up in a school girl type outfit with size c breasts, 4 inch heels, etc. We went to the party and I won several 'awards' that night--the most pleasing being the sexiest costume. On our way home, she was telling me how hot I looked and how bad she wanted me (in bed) dressed like that. After our 'personal time' together later that night, I told her of my prior dressing and she was totally cool with it. Now, I get questioned when I'm not at least underdressed at a minimum everyday. From then on...lifes been the utmost of pleasurable for me!

[lee in a skirt]

I initially told my so within a month of us getting together as I knew if I waited it would not get a good response. Then nothing was really said about it for about a year. I had dropped hints but she always ignored them. Then after our year anniversary i bought some new clothes for myself which took courage for me. i sneakly bought them while buying xmas presents so nobody would notice. about 2 months later it had slipped out and she made me decide her on clothes. i choose her and stuck all the clothes in a charity bag.
then about a month after that after i had been moaning at her she text me and said lets go shopping and then i can see you dressed up. if i dont like it then never again if i like it its fine. so we bought some clothes went back home and she dressed me up. now that was nearly 2 years ago and weve been happier for it.

she has a few rules, no going out dressed. maybe under but not seen at all. no wigs or anything to make me look like a girl but thats ok with me because i just prefer the clothes.

[Tee]

We were engaged, about to close on a house, I knew I had to tell her before we got the house. I tried several times, I'd have it right there on the tip of my tongue and then I'd stop and think about what I was going to say and it sounded so stupid in my head, I couldn't get it out.

Then one night we got a call from the realtor with a counter offer, I hung up with her and my fiancee at the time says she found some panties in my closet, what's up with that. So I felt since it's out there, I have to tell her. I did, and it didn't seem to go very well. She cried, didn't know what to do. She said she was going to come back the next night and we would talk. That next day was probably the longest day of my life! She came back and we sat down and talked, she had a list of questions for me and wanted to see all my clothes. At first she was afraid that she would come home one day and I'd be dressed up and she wouldn't know what to do. She didn't really seem to want anything to do with it. But I was ok with that, I would keep it seperate. For a while it seemed everytime we would talk on the phone she would joke about it, but when we were togeather she was uncomfortable talking about it, I pointed that out and she noticed it to.

I don't know the exact timetable but eventually she asked to see some pictures of me dressed, so I showed her. A while later she asked to see me dressed. At that point she said it was no big deal, it's still just me but in different clothes.
......

it sounds like me... initially she does not accept, then gradually she have fun with it.


My wife caught me dressed 2 years ago, it was scary, but we've made it so far. She doe'nt really like it, but she has come to accecpt it. It's confusing when she says she doe'nt want me to dress, and the next day she'll buy me some girly clothes, good luck hope it works.

i have similar experiences. i remember we were going out to buy bras, and when i was looking for mine, she was so pissed with me.
then a few weeks later, she will happily buy a top for me and gleefully ask me "guess what i have in the bag?"

my initial years was tough... she found out my stash and i went through theraphy upon her request. but i guess she gradually accepted it. now i am her best "girlfriend", and she loves to dress me up and try out different makeup for me.

i can tell some days when she does not like me dressed...ie when she wants a man... then i will take off everything, and she will then reward me with a cuddle.
i guess that keep us in balance.

[Danielle Gee]

A few years into our marriage my wife had a really "high stress" job working in a local Emergency room. I on the other hand had a low stress clerical position in a local factory. I finished work at 3:00 each day and she at 6:00.

It's not a stretch to say that she dealt with life or death situations each day. My job however consisted mostly of sitting on my a** and talking on the phone. Since there was a 3 hour difference between the time I arrived home and the time she arrived I spent the time "dressed".

At first I spent the three hours just "primping and preening" and looking in the mirror ( I'm sure most of you girls know what I mean), but gradually things changed. I began to clean up a bit, do some laundry, and fix us simple meals. Just before she'd arrive I'd don a tee shirt and slacks. but would keep on my apron.

As my housewife skills improved I began do a better and more complete job, and she was relaxing and enjoying life more. It was truely a win-win situation as I was able to burn off some excess energy and she was able to decompress each evening.

At some point I started subscribe to "Good Housekeeping" and other womens mags. I also started clipping coupons and trying new recipes. My wife watched me do this with a sense of wonder and amusement till one night at supper she made the comment that changed my life

"Honey, You'd make somebody a goood wife"

At that point , I sat down with her a told her of my past (and present) and told her of my needs and wants. She was confused at first, but within a month or so she was completelly accepting.

So the last 35 years or so life has been good.....I'm a woman when I want to be, a man when I need to be and we're both very happy!!

[t-girlxsophie]

Less said about my first marriage the better.First "met" my 2nd wife online,the modern way,so she4 knew from the start about my "hobby"we chatted for about three months,before arranging to meet,we met as guy and girl,so we could find out how we felt about each other,well that went gr8 so after a few dates,we agreed it was finallly time to meet the other me.well girls that was,and with no hint of exaggeration one of the most nerve-wracking moment of my life.
Having sen pics,she sort of knew wat to expect,but that didnt help to sooth both our nerves,in my room matching outfits,and picking what makeup to wear,all thoughts went through my head,finally though i got ready,went into sitting room,and made my introduction.I needn't have worried,she loved Sophie,and now 4 years later we have a wonderful relationship,even her sons know of me,I know that i am so fortunate to have her understanding,and i try not to take that for granted.I remember to tell her everyday that I love her.:hugs:

[Joanne f]

To cut a long story short , first of all there was disbelief, then there was " i will try to cope with it , then there was " i will put up with it if you are in another room , then there was " i can not cope with this , and then after a lot of talking there was the complete acceptance and that was because she could see that it was part of me that made me "me".
( thank god that she listened to herself and not her so called friends)

[loardata]

i get no support for n e thing I do for my wife, nothing is ever good enough, never right, never get a hug for n e thing never a out of the blue kiss, nothing, the problem is I would give up my life for her, i am so lonely:cry:

[Jessica Tryst]

I have always been upfront and was accepted by my ex-wife as a new and exciting thing.
Lasted 15 years and she became a Christiam.
Suddenly this was not good!
It seems that all my GFs seem to accept somewhat but are fearful.

[Laura_Stephens]

When I told my wife of my life long dressing, she said, "I think I am going to throw up." It went downhill from there. She doesn't support my dressing in any way and I can't even talk with her about it. It is d@mn frustrating!

[Trixter]

Yes she does, and the great thing is, since she is a BBW, we are the same size, so we pick out wardrobes together so I have somethign to wear as well. :)

[BRANDYJ]

After reading all the responses, I think I have been an exceptionally lucky man. I will try to make this short, but want to give you a complete history of my relationships past and present. My first wife never knew. That was back when even I had no clue that there were others like me. Early 70's and no Internet or readily available information about cross dressing. That marriage lasted 5 years. Then I met my second wife 3 years later. She was the very first person i ever told about my dressing. Still had little information or even understanding about myself. What made telling her easier was the fact that we liked to read Penthouse Forum magazine and all the sexual things other couples were into. It was rare to find an issue that did not include at least one story in the letters from readers section, about cross dressing. Those letters were real, from real people. I know this because they published my letter to the word as I wrote it. This was before we married, but were living together. It was without a doubt the scariest thing I ever dd, but felt she needed to know. Her reaction was not good. She asked all the standard questions like, are you gay, do you want a sex change, are you bisexual etc. Once she was sure I did not want a sex change, it took her about a week to begin accepting it. I clearly remember one morning, she came into the bedroom and told me to get up and get dressed as we were going to buy my very first new dress. As time went on, she grew to enjoy as well accept my feminine side. It was never an issue through 10 years together before she died of cancer. My third wife was an old high school friend that I had not seen or heard from for over 15 years. She moved back to this area and looked me up soon after my wife passed away. When we became romantic, I had to tell her. it was easier this time. I still can't get over her reaction upon hearing about it. I twas like, "so what". She was not shocked, offended or worried about it. Asked questions as expected, but totally was fine with it. But she wanted to change my fem name right away! lol
That marriage lasted almost 19 years. We divorced over issues that had nothing to do with cross dressing at all. Today, 5 years later, we are still friends.

My present girlfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. We met on-line at a site for alternate lifestyles. She is a Dominant woman I had developed a desire to be submissive to a woman. She had been dominant in all her relationships long before I discovered my desire or need to be submissive. Even my profile had pictures of me dressed. So it was easy for us to be attracted to one another as she knew about my cross dressing from day one. She not only accepts me as a CD, but enjoys me dressed and serving her and doing the chores around the house.
So yes, I am one very happy and lucky cross dresser.

[Sexyalexis]

My girl freind of 3 years likes it some times but other time pretends she does not know anout it. a lot of mixed signals. i still hide it from her most of the time.

[Jason+]

My first wife did not and does not to this day know anything about this part of me other than I am sure she realized my personality wasn't at all dominant.

My wife does know although it was and is a long road. I knew from about the age of twelve that I liked at least panties. After my little brother helped my parents "find" some that I had and they got rid of them and requested I promise never to bring another pair home I didn't have any until the imminent demise of my first marriage. Those ended up being purged.

While my wife and I were living together there was Jerry Springer show on about "freaks" one of which was a cross dresser. I came out of the bedroom wearing a pink nightgown of hers and she laughed and sympathized that he wasn't a freak. This was in late 1997 to early 1998 She did not at this time understand that I was like the person on the show, she thought it was just me making a joke which led to a lot of justifiably hurt feelings later on.

We married in April of 1998 having ups and downs like most. Over the next couple of years I found myself wanting to wear panties and I told her about it. She didn't like it but we decided that I would provided I got my own.

In 2001 a couple of things happened. I discovered via the internet that I was not the only man in the world that liked to wear panties and admitted to myself that I would like to try more. I told her about it and she was unhappy and worried and had a lot of questions about whether I was gay or wanted a sex change or not. I thought at the time that I would be happy if I could wear a nightie and hose just in the bedroom.

From 2001 to 2004 I realized like most that being confined to the bedroom and nighties wasn't where I wanted to stop and that I wanted to dress more so while she hated it she gave me more ground to explore. In 2004 we decided to tell the children that live with us about me after a lot of back and forth about it.

In 2006 perfume was added which she was okay with other than a particular scent "Vanilla Fields" that she hates the smell of. Working through all of this to the current time we have come to a compromise which I think belongs in it's own thread.

While she is not a fan she has accepted that it's a part of me and she loves me. If either of us had truly understood how big a part of me it is before we got married it's likely we would not have but we have too much together to split over it.

[Danielle Gee]

Unfortunately it’s been 30 years and I still have trouble believing she accepts. Every time we have a squabble, I fall back on the same tired line and tell myself “She’s being mean to me because she can’t accept me”……Which is kind of ironic when you consider that when we aren’t arguing (most of the time) I’m thinking “I wish she’d treat me more like a Woman when I’m dressed”

Hey, I never specified as to my sanity!!!!:eek:

[msniki48]

I told my 1st wife after 23 yrs of marriage. i was about 48. she did not take it well. she was seeing a therapist and decided to tell her of my dressing. The therapist wanted to see me right away with my wife. after speaking to me she saw that I was transgendered and not perverted... i didn't even know what[ TG] that meant. i had been dressing since childhood. i thought it was something i had to hide too. After finding out this is something that has been with me since birth, patti warmed up to the fact that i was gender blessed. she and my daughter were so supportive from that time on. Patti is in heaven now for over 8 yrs, and i met another sweet lady who is now my wife. I told Karen as soon as i thought there was any connection, that i was transgendered and cross dressed to express that softer side of me.

She attends support meetings with me and supports me 100%. now if I could only get out of my own way. I am truly blessed

hugs,

msniki48

[lynda o]

She is somewhat accepting, knows but doesn't really want to see. I try to respect that & only dress when she is not around, but I get "caught" every now and then when she gets home earlier than expected. But now and then asks to spend some time with Lynda.:battingeyelashes: