Best friend? or boyfriend?

[girlalex]

I've been lately ignoring guys who are trying to be my friends because i just feel like having guys as friends is somewhat not what it used to be. back when i was younger it was cool, it seemed like we the guys had more in common, but now i can barely talk to one guy at a time because i sense just how much different they are from me and that im not the guy with the guy mentality anymore. talking to guys especially more then one at a time feels wired, and uncomfortable. and if anything it would feel more normal to have a boyfriend rather than a guy friend so its kinda wired now. one of my best friends i've known for about 4 years is the sweetest person i've ever met. he is the best guy friend i've ever had so far. we talk a lot on the phone now that im living in a different state. back in college we spend lots of time together just hanging out and parting. we had a good time. but back then when we still lived near each other i think how nice that would have been if he could be my boyfriend when i was en femme.

[Sharon]

Now that he is in another state, yet still a good friend of yours, have you tried leading your conversations away from typical shallow male-to-male talk? I mean, have you at least attempted to be a little more honest about your feelings, without necessarily just jumping out and springing the ultimate statement or question to him (unless complete openness can work for you, of course.)

Don't live your life with unanswerable questions hanging over your head. Believe me, and this is experience speaking, it accomplishes nothing positive even if your friend's reaction is not what you would like to hear.

[NiCo]

Sharon is right, “Don't live your life with unanswerable questions hanging over your head.” you might just regret it. Currently I am in a serious relationship with my best friend, we have been friends since I was 6 years old [she would have been 4] and I’m so glad it’s working out the way it has. We live together, which I thought would destroy us but we have come to several arrangements [lol].

What I’m saying is, it works. There will be people telling you that being in a sexual relationship with a friend might be the death of the friendship. Yes, it may be but it might also on the other hand be the best thing you’ve ever done. Go for it, there is two possible answers: yes or no.

Life is for taking risks, we get no-where if we avoid them.

Good luck.

[Faith_G]

Interesting topic! I had a lot of windshield time over the Thanksgiving holiday and did a lot of thinking and self-analysis. One of the "aha" moments I had was realizing that I have had a series of "boyfriends" throughout my life. I would have one close friend who I always wanted to be with, was a bit jealous when others were around, and missed when he wasn't around. I never allowed the sexual implications any concious thought, I was raised in a very homophobic family and that taboo stuck with me for a long time. The whole sexual orientation thing has me a little disoriented right now. I think as time goes on and I become more open to what is going on inside my head I will probably find myself attracted to a "boyfriend" in a sexual way. I have never been comfortable interacting with a group of guys, when I find myself in such a situation I am much more comfortable if my "boyfriend" is around. I hope I don't lose my current "boyfriend" as a friend when I tell him I'm trans, he's really great.

[girlalex]

Same here, now that you said that it clicked and i just realized that i too had several "boyfriends" lol. just like you i had one good guy friend at a time, and every time he was away i missed him a lot but never thought of it as in a way that i actually liked him more than just a friend. I also often realize that curtain guys like more than friend yet they don't realize it themselves. Faith G you are really pretty and im pretty sure your "boyfriend" will accept you for who you are. how is he to you?

[Faith_G]

I think you misunderstood my last statement, my friend (and that's all he is) does not know me as Faith.