Frequency of dressing

[emmicd]

The hardest part about being a closet crossdresser is that we have very limited time and opportunity to dress.

Most of us have family obligations and work committments.

So I know when I have an opportunity to dress up I try to mix and match several of my clothes and try to explore the femme side and enjoy the experience with as many clothing changes as possible because the next opportunity may not be for a while!

1)As a crossdresser how often do you dress?

2)When you have the opportunity to dress do you do it at home when you are alone?

3)If you're afraid of being caught at home and you travel with your work and have stays at hotels is that the best time for you to dress?

4)When you dress how many outfits do you try on?

5)What kind of outfits do you like to try on?

6)If you could be a little adventurous what would you wear out in public of your femme wardrobe?

7)Do you have more femme clothes than you know what to do with?

8)Do you have other femme accessories like handbag, purse, wig, hairpieces, hats, etc?

9)Even if you don't have the opportunity to dress much do you still feel the need to buy femme clothes and why?

10)Do you like to shave legs and chest hair and wear stockings and bra with panties underneath your femme clothes?

11)Did you ever try to use a self timer camera to take pictures hoping to get a few good pictures of your femme self?

12)Do you reveal your femme self to anyone when fully dressed?

13)Did you ever fall asleep when fully dressed en femme?

14)How much time is adequate for you to enjoy your crossdressing experience?

15)If in the closet and wife/girlfriend knows is she curious to see how you look en femme and are you comfortable to show femme side to her?

Emmi

[DanaJ]

No offense emmi - but are you writing a thesis or something?

DanaJ

[Sherlyn]

No offence either... is this a test :) can answer in a summary... dress whenever i want ..

[merle]

Just gotta do it. Keeps me alive.

[Phoebe Reece]

1) 3 or 4 days a month on average.

2) Not anymore. I just dress now if I am going out in public.

3) N/A

4) Usually just the one I plan to wear, but sometimes I change my mind after putting it on and then try a different outfit or combination.

5) Dresses, skirts, tops, skirtsuits.

6) I wear all of my femme wardrobe out in public, with the exception of nightgowns and halloween costumes.

7) No, I wear them.

8) Yes.

9) I have the opportunity and besides, a girl's got to have clothes...

10) Yes, I wouldn't go out in public otherwise.

11) Been there, done that.

12) Yes, that is the point in going out in public.

13) I don't remember doing that in any recent years, but I may have when much younger.

14) It usually takes me a couple of hours to shave, shower, do makeup, and get dressed, so I won't do it unless I can spend at least 4 hours that way and preferrably all day.

15) N/A. My wife is comfortable seeing me dressed.

Phoebe

[emmicd]

No Dana I'm not writing a thesisis I'm just trying to learn why I need to dress and by seeing other girls responses will make me more clear on things. I guess I just need assurance that I'm ok as a guy even if sometimes I have to wear a pretty black dress with all the sexy lingerie. I don't want to have to check myself into a mental hospital as some not very understanding family members have suggested I do.

They just don't understand me.

How could they. I would venture to guess that not many guys like to wear dresses like I do. I still struggle with this but trying to understand it.

Emmi

[Sherlyn]

Emmi "not many guys" just look at the number of members here ( and you know we all have dresses) ....needless ta say on how many other forums also .....there are sooooooooo many of us ...i was surprised when I first joined,seeing so many members:)

[Jenny Beth]

Relax Emmi, you're one of us. No need to check into a mental hospital because there's nothing wrong with you. Don't worry about what other people may think of you because most people haven't a clue what this is all about. Many of us consider this side of us a gift, when you realize that, things will become clearer.

[Tamara Croft]

Emmi, have you tried using the search facility in this forum, because all these questions have been asked and answered before. You only have to look to find the answers.

51 threads and in those threads - 192 questions.... don't you think you're getting a bit obsessive with all these questions?? Because it seems to me that you are. :strugglin

[Stlalice]

Emmi,

Some confusion and an "am I normal" type feeling is very common for the TG community - probably the best thing for you to do would be to have several sessions with a good therapist that specializes in gender issues to help you sort out your feelings - I know from experience that it ain't easy! It doesn't matter if you are "just a CD" or a "transsexual" - once you sort out your feelings and the reasons for them you will be able to map out the important stuff - what to do, who to tell if anyone, wether to transition, etc. Good luck kid - and hang in there ! :thumbsup:

[Tristen Cox]

Emmi, have you tried using the search facility in this forum, because all these questions have been asked and answered before. You only have to look to find the answers.

51 threads and in those threads - 192 questions.... don't you think you're getting a bit obsessive with all these questions?? Because it seems to me that you are. :strugglin
And then????

[carson]

Emmi,

Some confusion and an "am I normal" type feeling is very common for the TG community - probably the best thing for you to do would be to have several sessions with a good therapist that specializes in gender issues to help you sort out your feelings - I know from experience that it ain't easy! It doesn't matter if you are "just a CD" or a "transsexual" - once you sort out your feelings and the reasons for them you will be able to map out the important stuff - what to do, who to tell if anyone, wether to transition, etc. Good luck kid - and hang in there ! :thumbsup:

Hi Emmicd - I tend to be verbose and my answers to your poll questions are not simple if you wanted the full explaination. Suffice it to say I dress when I can with what I have to fill the need that I have. I came to this forum just about 6 weeks ago to finally start looking for answers to this "thing" I've been doing for 33yrs now. I've found this to be a great supportive home with good people and I am finding answers. I'm also working with a therapist and in just a short time I've started to become so much more comfortable and relaxed about being CD. I think Alice has some good advice. Take it to heart. As far as Tamara's comment on the number of threads/questions you've asked, I don't think you're necessarily being obsessive, but I think it certainly indicates that you are desparate to find answers and meaning to your cross dressing and the responses you've gotten thus far have not provided enough reassurance. Take care! :) :thumbsup:

[DanaJ]

I guess I just need assurance that I'm ok as a guy even if sometimes I have to wear a pretty black dress with all the sexy lingerie. I don't want to have to check myself into a mental hospital as some not very understanding family members have suggested I do.

EmmiEmmi - don't you worry - I am going to give you the:


DanaJ pat-on-the-back Seal of Approval

You are fine, you are "normal", you are one of us! Don't overanalyze, don't overthink it - as they said back in the '60s - "if it feels good do it!"

Now that you are reassured, go get dressed, get some coffee, and sit back and read the forum - the answers you seek are here, grasshopper :)

DanaJ

[emmicd]

Thanks for all your good advice and support on crossdressing.

For Tamara I promise you I won't start any more threads. I will just casually observe and occasionally respond if appropriate.

Sorry I offended you about my need to talk about things. I just won't open up any more about it.

I always thought if you shared things with others not only do you learn from it but others do as well.

So you won't have to worry any more. You won't see any more threads created by me anymore.

Emmi

[Marla GG]

I guess I just need assurance that I'm ok as a guy even if sometimes I have to wear a pretty black dress with all the sexy lingerie.

Emmi, sweetie, there is nothing wrong with wanting to wear feminine clothes. The more I think about crossdressing, the more it surprises me that every guy isn't doing it. You have spoken many times on this forum of your love and admiration for women and how attracted you are to them. It makes perfect sense that you would want to express those qualities you find so appealing by dressing in pretty things yourself. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. The people in your life who won't accept you are the ones who should be ashamed. You are definitely okay :hugs:


I don't want to have to check myself into a mental hospital as some not very understanding family members have suggested I do. They just don't understand me. How could they.

Emmi, they could understand if they wanted to. There is no shortage of information available on the internet, in self-help books, and offered by organizations like Tri-Ess. It seems to me that your wife, especially, should be motivated to learn something about this part of you. If your family members were to read even a basic one-page fact sheet about crossdressing, the first thing they would see is that it is not a mental illness. If you tried to check into a mental hospital they would send you straight back out again, probably with a referral for family or marital counseling for you AND your wife. You have a relationship problem, not a psychological problem.


I would venture to guess that not many guys like to wear dresses like I do.

It only seems that way because other crossdressers are afraid to reveal themselves, just like you are. Look around you on this forum....do you see how many members we have? Do you know how many personal websites of crossdressers exist on the internet? And that is just the tip of the iceberg. There are millions of others we will never know about, who have not even taken that first step of reaching out to find a community of like-minded people. You are one of many.

If I could do anything else to reassure you, I would. I would like for you to believe in yourself. I would especially like for your wife to believe in you as well, and to recognize that your desire to wear women's clothes does not make you less of a husband and father. In fact I believe it can make you a better one, if your softer side is allowed to show itself. Love yourself, Emmi....love the girl in you.....and don't give up on trying to help your family love her too. I hope one day they will.

[Holly]

...Love yourself, Emmi....love the girl in you.....and don't give up on trying to help your family love her too. I hope one day they will.:clap: Emmi, this is the best advice you will ever get.

[Rainbow6562005]

DanaJ, a very clever and caring reply. :)

Emmicd, H.L.Mencken had a wonderful definition of Puritanism: "The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, is enjoying himself."
This ugly, anti-life ethic is embedded in Western culture. Trying to get the culture-at-large to change so that not only is cross-dressing acceptable, but celebrated (because its citizens are happier), is a monumental job that may never be accomplished.
We are fortunate that, in this time and place, we have protected places like this to come to and be ourselves.
The bottom line: the culture is nuts; you aren't! Enjoy what the crazies can't stand.

Rainbow :)

[Jenny Beth]

Emmi no apologies necessary and I seriously doubt you have offended anyone. You are trying to analyse yourself far too quickly for something that is very complex. As others have said, love and enjoy who you are first and the answers you seek will come on their own. Rome wasn't built in a day, neither will Emmi.

[joni-alice]

Emmi honey,
Letting all these questions and people bug you is the easiest way to get yourself in a mental institution mood.
Just enjoy life and whatever dress you choose to wear -- and be careful enough so that no one else can ever put you any place you don't want to be.
love,
joni

:love:

[Tamara Croft]

For Tamara I promise you I won't start any more threads. I will just casually observe and occasionally respond if appropriate.

Sorry I offended you about my need to talk about things. I just won't open up any more about it.See...... this is NOT what I wanted to hear, I was making an observation regarding all the questions........ I'm not offended by them and I didn't tell you to stop posting new threads. Jeezz....... I think I'll just go bury my head :rolleyes:

[cosmolovesph]

1) none to several times a week

2) Yes & No (wife is fine with it)

3) n/a

4) normally 1 (occasionally more than..)

5) Dresses and Skirt (PH & Heels of course)

6) formal gown is on the never ending shopping list

7) some would say.. is that possible? ;)

8) you bet

9) n/a to the not being able to dress, as to new things, certainly!

10) I have shaved and will again, but normally trim to a short length, and if i am dressed pantyhose, bra and heels are a must.

11) yes (think most have as well)

12) (not sure of your meaning "Reveal") if you mean who they would know me as in drab, yes i have (co-workers=halloween) meaning in showing what's hiding under that dress? nope, just to the wife..

13) numerous times, nice feeling

14) varies

15) oh yeah, no issues, she is cool with it and encourages/participates as well.

[Clare]

As a crossdresser how often do you dress? In the past, whenever i had the opportunity, which wasn't that often. For the future, as much as possible now that i'm single.


When you have the opportunity to dress do you do it at home when you are alone?Yep, pretty much somes it up. Things will be different in the future tho!


If you're afraid of being caught at home and you travel with your work and have stays at hotels is that the best time for you to dress?I used to do just that for 18mths back about fifteen years ago. Lived in motels five nights a week and was constantly dressed emfemme when away from home.


When you dress how many outfits do you try on?Whatever appeals at the time. I don't actually make lots of changes - whatever i put on stays on until i undress.


What kind of outfits do you like to try on?Whatever is in my collection?


If you could be a little adventurous what would you wear out in public of your femme wardrobe?A skirt suit with low heeled pumps, etc......


Do you have more femme clothes than you know what to do with?No unfortunately!


Do you have other femme accessories like handbag, purse, wig, hairpieces, hats, etc?No wig or hats, but have a few other accessories.


Even if you don't have the opportunity to dress much do you still feel the need to buy femme clothes and why?Yes. Just have the desire to do so.


10)Do you like to shave legs and chest hair and wear stockings and bra with panties underneath your femme clothes?Always!


Did you ever try to use a self timer camera to take pictures hoping to get a few good pictures of your femme self?No yet! Don't have a decent camera!


Do you reveal your femme self to anyone when fully dressed?No, not yet.


Did you ever fall asleep when fully dressed en femme?No.


How much time is adequate for you to enjoy your crossdressing experience?The more time the better!


If in the closet and wife/girlfriend knows is she curious to see how you look en femme and are you comfortable to show femme side to her?Never happended to me.

Christine

[nancy58]

Emmi,

I dress up more often now since I came out to my wife 4-5 months ago. Sometimes I switch outfits, trying out different looks. Other times, I just put on one outfit and go about doing the things I would do anyway. Sometimes I put on make-up, and other times I just look like a guy in a dress -- which I probably look like even with make-up on, especially with the mustache. I have experimented with hair removal to a limited degree, but I've put it off for the summer because my wife is the only person who knows about my transvestism besides the therapist I first shared it with. I need about two hours of privacy to dress up, but I have tried it for up to about 4 hours when I was sure no one else would be home and I didn't need to go outside.

Sometimes I "get off" while dressed up, but I also find it's very satisfying to simply pretend to be a woman. I know that I want to keep my male identity and that men don't do anything for me. I think crossdressing and taking on a female role represent a kind of fantasy world for me.

During longer sessions en femme, I feel a bit cooped up, since I don't leave the house. I have considered driving to some other place so I could be out and about without the risk of recognition, but I don't yet have a wig or breast forms, let alone any real practice in passing as a woman. I cannot bear the idea of being seen as a freak.

You asked about partners. My wife knows I dress up and that I have some female clothing. She told me she isn't ready to see me dressed as a woman because it's too weird to her. Sometimes in jest, she alludes that I may be homosexual. She did this before she had any inkling that I crossdressed and doesn't seem to grasp how much that repels me. (I am not anti-gay, but I acquired the "queer" label in high school, and it's just a sore spot.) Sometimes she'll tease me about crossdressing, but in a good-natured way, like the other night at the theatre, when she gave me a nudge at something in the dialog. Sex is no better or worse, no more or less frequent, than it was before I came out to her, but I at least don't feel repressed.

I hope this is helpful to you. I agree with others that you should seek a good therapist and work this out. Discussing things that trouble you with good friend or your partner can help, too, but you have to be able to talk freely, and that is the benefit of talking with a therapist -- you know that he/she won't judge you or condemn you, or throw it in your face in the middle of some disagreement some day, as may happen in personal relationships. You're not crazy or sick. I'll bet most of the other people in this forum hold down a job, pay their bills, and are reasonably decent husbands/fathers the same as me.

Stick with us, and create all the threads you want. I don't care if a topic has been completely discussed before. Discussion is a much more active method of learning than reading old posts.

All the best,
Nancy

[Melissa A.]

Emmi may have alot of posts here in a short period of time but she is still relatively new here. New people join us all the time, and one of the reasons they are here is to meet with others and talk about what's on their mind. They also probably look to some of the more long term members for responses and advice.

This is a forum, not a library. It's alot more fun to ask a question or give your opinion and get live, spontaneous responses than to painstakingly search the forum archives all by yourself. We all want responses to our musings, whether they be in the form of a question or a humorous story. I know that it sometimes gets a little weary looking at the same subject you took the time to make a well thought out response to 3 months ago. In that case, give a short response and direct the person to the thread in question, if you remember it's title. I know my posts (at least the more serious ones) have changed a bit over time because I don't want to be repeating myself. But I also don't want to deprive the newer girls of the fun and learning I experienced when I first got here. That's how you make friends and form relationships, as well.

As long as your'e following the rules and ettiquette of the forum, Emmi, I don't mind anything you ask, if your'e truly curious. Ask anything ya want. Sorry to diverge from your opening post here, I will answer it in a post later on, but this one is getting a little wordy. I just wanted to remind everyone that everybody is new sometime.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Tiffy]

The hardest part about being a closet crossdresser is that we have very limited time and opportunity to dress.

Most of us have family obligations and work committments.

So I know when I have an opportunity to dress up I try to mix and match several of my clothes and try to explore the femme side and enjoy the experience with as many clothing changes as possible because the next opportunity may not be for a while!

1)As a crossdresser how often do you dress?

2)When you have the opportunity to dress do you do it at home when you are alone?

3)If you're afraid of being caught at home and you travel with your work and have stays at hotels is that the best time for you to dress?

4)When you dress how many outfits do you try on?

5)What kind of outfits do you like to try on?

6)If you could be a little adventurous what would you wear out in public of your femme wardrobe?

7)Do you have more femme clothes than you know what to do with?

8)Do you have other femme accessories like handbag, purse, wig, hairpieces, hats, etc?

9)Even if you don't have the opportunity to dress much do you still feel the need to buy femme clothes and why?

10)Do you like to shave legs and chest hair and wear stockings and bra with panties underneath your femme clothes?

11)Did you ever try to use a self timer camera to take pictures hoping to get a few good pictures of your femme self?

12)Do you reveal your femme self to anyone when fully dressed?

13)Did you ever fall asleep when fully dressed en femme?

14)How much time is adequate for you to enjoy your crossdressing experience?

15)If in the closet and wife/girlfriend knows is she curious to see how you look en femme and are you comfortable to show femme side to her?

Emmi


1. I dress daily
2. I only dress when I am alone or with my wife.
3. NA
4. Most of the time just one, unless I am dressed most of the day then I will change into night clothes.
5. Skirts and lingerie
6. I want to wear skirts out all the time.
7. Never, I have a bunch but I know what to do with them, I wear them.
8. Yes, I have several purses, jewlery, wigs and etc.
9. Always have to buy fem clothes. Even if I just have to shop for my wife.
10. I am shaved, legs as well, I wear panties but I do not wear a bra.
11. No, have no fem pics of myself.
12. Just my wife.
13. All the time.
14. As much as I can get, but I need four to eight hours a day.
15. Yes wife knows, and prefers me in fem. Says I have a better attitude.

Kisses, April