Do your parents know?

[MissKara]

Hey All,

I wanted to pose a question to you all, Do your parents know about the other you? I have been thinking about it for a while with my parents, but I dont think they would take it that well.

I dont have a good relationship with my father, I dont see him that much anymore. But I dont mind that because when I saw a kid he said he didnt love me :eek:

I was watching a TV show with my mother about a girl who had HRT and was about to undergo the last Gender Reassignment surgery. It was a facinating program (Although I would never want to get rid of Karl over Kara, we are a team... like spagetti and milk :P) but during it my mother kept saying that it was unnatural and sick and that those kinds of people are freaks :( Little does she know about Kara

So I thought I'd ask you all:

Do your parents know about the other you?
If so, what was their reaction when they found out?

Lots of Love,
Miss Kara

[Samantha Girl]

First off Kara I am so sorry about your parents, that's very sad :(

For me I don't know that I could ever tell them. They are sooooo old school, and not in the good way! :p My Mom is 68, my Dad is 73. They both have a lot of prejuidices, but I've managed to chip away at some of them over the years. When I was 12 years old I told them I didn't want to hear anymore of their racist/prejudiced words anymore, true story. So they're not the most accepting people in the world. Plus I always seem to be disappointing them throughout my life in numerous ways, so why bother? As I've said before, they already think I am a tremendous weirdo, which is true, why confirm it?! :heehee:

I do have 3 brothers and 3 sisters (it's a complex family story), and I would like to tell them. I posted my Halloween pics on facebook and 2 of my sisters commented... that I looked pretty! :p I think they might have some suspicions. I'm wondering if there'll be some questions about Halloween when I go home for Christmas. I'm kinda hoping there are :)

[Misty G]

My mom knows for sure as we have talked some about it. Pop probably knows but we have never talked about it. Both my mother in law and my ex mother in law know and we have talked about it at different times. There is hardly a time we visit with wifes mom that it is not at least mentioned. However I don't dress in front of them.

[Shikyo]

My mom knows about my transsexuality and she doesn't mind it at all. She also said that she kind suspected something like that but never was sure. So when I told her she wasn't even all that shocked about it but more curious about what it meant etc. her biggest worry was if I was still with my wife.

As for my dad, I can't really say much as our ties broke before I managed to tell him about the whole thing. The reason for our ties breaking did not have anything to do with my transsexuality but with my stepmother. However, I found out later on that my grandmother had told him about the matter but that is all what I know about it.

[Elsa Larson]

I had just gotten home from a Pocono weekend en femme when I came out to my mom on my 40th birthday (she was 70).
She quoted Genesis 1:27 & 5:2 "male and female created he them" in the sense that gender is a mixture instead of a binary.

For my birthday, she bought me a gold chain that I could wear in either role.
Then she took me to see the movie, Tootsie.

[Karren H]

Both my parents are gone but I know my mother knew... My dad was clueless like most men! Lol.

[TabbyJames]

I don't think Dad (mom passed away 12 years ago) knows but he did catch me when I was young wearing my sisters panties and bra. Since I have a very feminine personallity, it probably wouldn't suprise him.

[Nicole Anne]

My mom knows and said she knew long before i admitted to her i did dress. My dad is gone which would have been a hard admittance. My sis knows also and has many times given me little gifts.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

They know, because I told them, years ago. I don't remember my late mother's reaction, but my father said: "So that's why you have been growing your hair long."

Veronica Rogers

[Erica2Sweet]

...For me I don't know that I could ever tell them. They are sooooo old school, and not in the good way! :p My Mom is 68, my Dad is 73. They both have a lot of prejuidices, but I've managed to chip away at some of them over the years...

This sums up my situation as well, though my father passed away back in 2006.

Several times, I've thought about telling my mother about this whole TG thing, but at this point I don't see the benefits (for anyone involved) outweighing the heartache and/or misunderstanding my story would most likely facilitate.

I'm willing to bet that after it was all said and done she would probably have preferred I hadn't told her.

[SherylynJade]

I've been caught before, but I don't think they know I still keep it up, or that it's reached the level that it has. I do want to tell my mom eventually, even though we haven't had much of a relationship over the years. With my dad, I don't really care if he knows, but I just don't want my grandfather (dad's father) to find out again. He's the only person I don't want finding out, but everyone else, I could really care less if they knew about me.

[MissAmy]

Nope, dad has been dead since I was 7. Haven't told my mom yet.

[RachelZ]

My Mom passed away a few years ago. I sort of think my Dad knows, but I'm pretty sure he's just trying to ignore it.

[Lorileah]

Interesting how many here can tell their mother but not their father. I am in that boat. I have told everyone in my family that I think can handle it. No problems but just can't tell Dad. There are three boys in my family and as I say one of each :) Of course fathers want their sons to be macho and tough and all three of us appear that way, but one is gay, one is straight as can be and there is ME :) Mom knows about all of us but mom and dad are divorced. Step mom could handle it but that would put undue strain on her with dad. Convoluted answer to an easy question. Mom knows: Dad doesn't.

Elsa, I found it interesting the translation of the bible passage. It shows that everyone can read something different into what was written. I like that take on it :)

And as far as prejudices go, it seems that as my middle America father ages, they get worse. Funny because as I was growing up in a suburban area of Denver, my family was very liberal in their views of race, creed, religion and all. But take them to Podunk farm country and that all went away. That is why I won't tell Dad. Sometimes ignorance IS bliss

[KateW]

My mum only knows because I fell asleep while fully dressed twice when I used to live there, and she walked in on me. after a couple of massively awkward conversations where I didn't really explain anything, it hasn't really come up. She did however hint at it a few times during arguements but it was never fully explored after her initial "are you gay" and "do you want a sex change" questions.

She has however passed negative comments since when seeing people dressed on tv, so I don't think she wants a daughter!

[DonnaT]

My mom knows, and has given me clothes and jewelry. My dad has passed on.

[tuck n9ne]

my mom and step dad know, fully supportive. they are buying me a bunch of giftcards for xmas so i can go shopping for femme stuff for school next semester. i plan on telling my dad after christmas!

[Cary]

My parents never found out while they were living. If they are watching over me from above or below, THEY KNOW NOW!

[Kerigirl2009]

I have to say that my mother sort of caught me when I was 19 but I denied and told her I was only goofing around. She passed away in 2004 So I believe in my heart that she knows I wasn't goofing around. Now she is just trying to guide me to happiness with myself. My step dad does not know and I could care less if he did as he pretty much disowned me after he remarried. And for my Father he does not know but I think he would be ok with it as I have never seen him truly upset or yelling. I think I would tell him if his wife could keep a secret.
:)

[sherri52]

Yes my parents knew about the other me. They gave him a name. Oh you mean this side of me. The answer is still yes. My father is discusted by it and my mother almost excepted when she was here. My father wouldn't let her approve. My brothers, sisters, and all of my children know. No one brings it up and I don't show them Sherri.

[Andy66]

Although I'm a GG... Gawd no, my parents don't know I'm bi. Even when I lived with a woman for four years, as far as they knew she was just a roommate. I have no desire to hear their opinions on the matter. If I were TG, I'm fairly sure the answer would still be Gawd no.

[theresa]

I really wish I could tell both of my parents. THey are elderly now and for some reason I would like them to know about me. But maybe that is just selfish on my part.

I was always dressing in my mom's clothes when I was young and putting on her makeup (I didnt know how to remove it then) so she probably wouldnt be surprised. I dont know how my dad would take it but I know he loves me no matter what.

But again, maybe telling them is more for me than for them. In that case,perhaps it would be better they never know.

[Ashley_1962]

.. finally told my mom this past week-end after much deliberation (and after spending 4 days in New York totally en femme). I have to say that she seemed ok with it - said all the right things and says she still loves me...etc. Not sure about telling my dad... I suspect my mom may tell him (and I would be OK with that... since I didn't tell her to keep it quiet.).

We will see how things go over Christmas...

[KandisTX]

My whole family knows. I have one sister that won't talk to me about it, and she's a stripper, talk about confusion when it comes to morals. One sister who is supportive and buys me things.

Mom knows and is supportive and also buys/gives me femme stuff to wear.

Dad is of the mindset "If I don't discuss it, it doesn't exist".

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

My parents both know that I used to struggle with crossdressing, but my mother thinks that it's long gone. My dad found one of my bras a month or two ago. He's keeping it secret but won't talk with me about it. Doesn't want to understand. I have a cousin who knows and is supportive...well, as supportive as I would expect from her anyway.

[MissyW]

My mom knows . My dad passed away some time ago and he never knew

[LaurenKLee]

no but if they did i don't think it would be a big deal...

[~Emma D~]

I came out to my parents when I was 17, first I told my mother and older sister that i wanted to be a girl.

my sister was supportive, whilst my mother tried to be. They arranged for counselling and an appointment at a clinic.

unfortunately, my father came home a few days later and everything went bad for me, I suffered a fractured nose and other facial bruising. I never did get the counselling and it was never spoken of again.

the self hatred and loathing of myself, lasted for so many years after that - I think I buried it so deep in my mind.

[Samantha Girl]

I am so sorry about your experience coming out to your father Sarah, that is so sad. At least you got some support, but I'm sure it wasn't enough after that. Thanks for sharing your story, must be hard :(

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I came out about it to both of them. I've always been close with my father so I told him about it once a few years ago and we had an ok conversation about it but didn't talk about it again for a long time. Earlier this year I decided to tell my mom about it, because I had made the decision to come out about it in my stand up act, and I felt it was wrong of me to tell it to a room full of strangers and yet keep it from my own mother. She was not supportive, it definitely made her upset, and not only have she and I never spoken about it since, but she hasn't even talked to my dad about it, according to him. This is unusual for her because she talks about everything, usually repeatedly. Our relationship is otherwise the same as it was before though, so it could have been a lot worse.

And my dad has become cool about it. We've been able to talk about it, and beyond that, I've gotten comfortable enough that he's actually seen me in a skirt, pretty much only when I'm coming and going from home, but also on halloween he actually asked me to send him a picture with my cell phone of myself when I was fully dressed up in my costume, cause he was curious what I looked like.

[Andy66]

the self hatred and loathing of myself, lasted for so many years after that - I think I buried it so deep in my mind.
:hugs: That is so sad. You haven't done anything wrong, sweetie, and it's not too late to get that counseling if you still want it.

[Angie G]

My mom and dad are both gone For some time now but Neither knew. I do believe if I had come out to them they would have accepted me as Angie.:hugs:
Angie

[Amanda Styles]

My mom must have put 2+2 together when she did a search for god knows what and found my panties and bra, which I thought I had hid in my locked (haha) file cabnet. This occured when I was around 11 years old. It's hard to put an exact date on it now. It was not a good time without going into anymore detail.
I doubt my dad knew or he would have probably beaten me to death.