Where in the USA is the

[Lauren1973]

I am curious about a few things.I have been on hormones for about a year and my body is coming along nicely ...my face is just now starting to catch up. Now recently my wife left me and I was laid off my job(good 'ol Alabama) So I have plenty of options now that I did not before. Since I an starting over per say. Where in the usa would be the the most accepting place for a girl like me? I want to be able to leave the house without the evil looks of the ppl in the bible belt! So where would you go?

Lauren

[Cindi Johnson]

Lauren,

I live in Dallas, buckle of the Bible Belt, yet I've never had any problems when out and about. Plus the economy isn't too terrible, so it can be easier to get a job. Maybe some of the outlying suburbs would be places to avoid, however.

Soon I'll be moving to the twin cities (Minneapolis-St.Paul). I'm hoping people there also accepting of a girl like me. (I've not transitioned; still mostly a guy, I guess, although I'm out as a girl most days).

Cindi Johnson

[CharleneT]

Most any metro-opolis should be fine. Maybe a tad north ? Std's are San Fran and L.A., the Twin Cities are very nice ( big weather change, visit now so you have an idea of what you'll be getting into). Seattle is supposed to be very nice, very accepting and very damp :) OR most University towns, pick a bigger one and you'll be able to find some help in the form of speech therapy clinics etc.....

[Stephenie S]

If you are transitioning, why does it matter where you go. Why would you say, "a girl like me"? Are you planning on becoming a sort of different woman? Are you planning on being "that tranny" or that woman? If you are transitioning to a woman then go where you want.

Except for the winter, Vermont is nice. Seattle is very nice but a bit damp. How about SF? Very expensive I hear. They let women live everywhere in the US these days, dear. Go where ever your heart desires.

Stephie

[GypsyKaren]

Home is where you make it, and every place has some sort of issues to deal with.

Karen :g1:

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

But I was visiting my daughter in Atlanta 2 weeks ago and found that my not too passable self was accepted everywhere I went. Did not have any problems. I also live in the Allentown PA area and have found acceptance where I work and with friends and neighbors.

Warning: your experience may be different than mine in the same area.

But like Karen said, Home is where you make it and from my experience if you are confident about yourself, who you are, that confidence will be sensed by others and they will accept you because you accept yourself.. Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[kellycan27]

San Fransisco, Hollywood California, Palm Springs California, Las Vegas Nevada.

[Aeval]

Lauren,
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time right now. I live here in Alabama myself and haven't gotten used to the idea of going out en femme in the Deep South.

I'm sure MOST of that are my own insecurities, though.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I feel for you and I hope things get better soon.

Keep your head up, L.

[trannie T]

Anyplace where you can find a decent job would be a good start. Most of the places recommended are really suffering in the present economy.

[Melissa A.]

Being trans, as far as the public is concerned, is pretty much a non-issue here(NYC) And there's always interesting things to do, see, and eat. But you'd better have a job! Housing ain't cheap, either. But you don't need a vehicle(I got rid of mine almost as soon as I got here) and if you like urban areas, there isn't anything like it. I love this city, but I realise it isn't for everybody. I only moved 200 miles to get here, and it's my hometown, even though I hadnt lived here in decades. So it wasn't anything I wasn't familiar with. But I know girls who have moved here from all over. It's one of those places that tends to draw people.

Do you have any allies anywhere? Sympathetic family members or friends? Other transpeople you've gotten to know online or elswhere? It's always good to know someone where you're going. Calling someplace home involves alot of different very personal factors, but if you're simply looking for trans-friendly, I would say most metropolitan areas would be fine. The ones that stand out to me, just anecdote-wise, are NYC, San Fransisco, Seattle, South Florida. But I'm sure there are many more comfortable places out there for you, big and small. I wish you luck.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Sharon]

Until a few months ago I lived my entire life in the near suburbs of Philadelphia and everything was cool after I transitioned a few years ago (which was a happy surprise to me). But that's what you almost expect from a "Liberal" east coast city. But since July I have lived in the corn-belt of Iowa, where conservative, so-called "Christian Values" rule just about every facet of life. But guess what? -- everything has been just as good for me..., even better. My theory is that it comes down to you making the place you are "home" and simply living your life as just another member of society. If you have no expectations of being treated "differently" or as "special," you tend to blend in and be treated as just another Jane or John. People who may have difficulties with those of us who are "different," tend to keep their opinions to themselves..., al least within earshot which is all I can react to.

Workplaces can be a different matter as not nearly enough have a truly non-discriminatory employment policy. But which companies do or do not adhere to the intent of the policy is difficult to gauge and can not be predicted by the size of the company. There are websites that report on known "friendly" companies, however, but these tend to focus only on larger companies as they obviously are the ones that are most frequently commented on.

[Brooke Smith]

But since July I have lived in the corn-belt of Iowa, where conservative, so-called "Christian Values" rule just about every facet of life.

Oddly enough,Iowa was the third state in the nation to legalize gay marriage. Not nearly as conservative as you might think.

goof up quote again...sorry Sharon...help me Ms Wizard!

[Stephanie Heplby]

I will put in my vote for Washington, DC (including the Maryland and Virginia suburbs). This area tends to be more accepting than one would think from the number of uptight folks who live here.

It also has one overarching benefit that other locations do not have: It is a company town and the company is not likely to go out of business.

Yup, when I say "company", I mean "government". Most folks either consult for the government or work for the government. Or work in an industry that supports the government. Or... you get the idea.

And, as a result, most companies have very detailed policies covering transgendered folks. None of the large consulting companies (or the government for that matter) want lawsuits making them look bad. Same for companies like Sprint, AT&T, etc, who all have major offices here.

There is also a growing biotech industry in Maryland, if that strikes your fancy.

As an added benefit, several military bases are being consolidated at Ft. Meade, Maryland, bringing in more residents with guaranteed jobs and, hence, disposable income.

But... (and it's a big but) You must live close to the city or be prepared to spend you life driving. This area is second only to LA for traffic congestion (sorry Atlanta, you are third).

[Sharon]

Oddly enough,Iowa was the third state in the nation to legalize gay marriage. Not nearly as conservative as you might think.



But if they allow the voters to decide on the issue, I'm afraid it may go poof just like same-sex marriage laws did in other states, including several that are considered "Liberal."

[pamela_a]

I agree with Stephanie. Why worry if you are transitioning? I have news for you...women can live anywhere they want to. If you plan on being "that tranny" then perhaps you need to be a little more cautious, but I doubt that too unless you plan on wearing that on your sleve.

[Lauren1973]

I love this group, its like having ALOT of very diversified sisters.
Helps me to not get tunnel vision. I guess I just wanted to run away where no one knew me and start over but...I am starting to get some intestinal fortitude about staying put for the time being. I was in the grocery store yesterday and was buying some cigerettes for my sister when the cashier lady asked for my id.When she saw the id she said is that really you? Well the guy behind me in line noticed and made a rude comment. Instead of getting all weird about it....I simply turned to him ,looked him in the eyes and calmly said "that hurts my feelings and if you don't have anything nice to say please don't speak to me" and he actually apoligized to me...Wow I was amazed!. I guess it is all about being confident and stand behind your decisions instead of running from them. Thank you all for listening and commenting. I just need to have a little thicker skin.


Lauren

[Jessinthesprings]

I know how you feel. Living in Arkansas going out makes my skin crawl. I know that not every person in the area is a slack jawed hillbilly with an itchy shotgun finger ready to take out the "queers" but, for some reason I cannot get that feeling/image out of my head.

I grew up in Colorado and that is where I'll likely end up, but despite my own prejudices I've learned any where can be bad and good. It just depends on who you encounter. Even in liberal San Francisco transgendered people have had run ins with people.

...But.

Based solely on sterotypes New York, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Los Ageles, Denver (personal experiance), Colorado Springs (personal experiance) and San Francisco will likely be pretty accepting places.

[Angel.Marie76]

Personally, as I'm biased to the state a bit, Massachusetts has been relatively good for many of my TS brothers and sisters. I've been a part of Trans-rights public events in Northampton twice, Gay Pride celebrations in Northampton and Boston, am connected with several different GLBT and TS-related groups and organizations (including, but not limited to TS-Specific peer support groups that meet monthly, etc.) and know that Boston and NoHo have specific laws on their books relating to Trans rights. I don't think I even need to mention Provincetown, he he, however that little place is a tourist madhouse, and besides being all the way out on the end of the bay, it's a little on the expensive side to live out there, IF you can even find a place. I'll also add on the end that I am friends/connected to/with at least two people, FtMs, that are heavily into the state legislature, one the head organizer of the Mass Trans Political Coalition - Gunner Scott, the other, a well known radio host / voice of TransFM, Ethan St. Pierre. Two loud voices pushing for Trans rights in MA, and that's just off the top of my head.

Now, that having all been said, I'll tell you that traveling 30 minutes down the road in any direction has the significant possibility to enter, as folks have said, 'Slack Jaw country'. Sticking near the major cities will generally give you better comfort levels than perusing the back roads. This pretty much goes for any state I would imagine.

Vermont, I know, has some very liberal laws on it's books, and I have two very close friends that have fully transitioned that live there. In that state, places like Brattelboro, Burlington, and so on have very positive ratings for GLBT acceptance.

New Hampshire.. eh, I don't think I have any recommendations for there. Enter at your own risk. ;)

Connecticut - I know several people, mostly MtFs, including some close friends, that live in CT. Their lives are what they are, and they're not purposefully going deep stealth or anything. They're out, they attend rallies and so on, and at least two of them are heavily in the lobbyist community of the state house. They won't stop pushing until the TS community is fully accepted.

Lastly, I'd second an opinion of San Francisco. Whether you know it or not, but the Trans-Ponder Podcast is hosted out of SF, and Mila and Jayna continuously talk about how their area may be nice for TS/TG acceptance, but holy crap does it cost some ching.

That'd be my .02$ worth. :-)

[carolinoakland]

Well, i've been often told " You are in the best place in the world to do this...'' and I'd have to agree. There are laws in SF about gender presentation, so it's a pretty good place to do this... but that doesnt' mean that there are no concerns. I will tell you that in the begining all the protections and help are usefull, but as you get more comfortable you start becoming less " In transition " and more Female. And it doesn't matter where you are then, your just a tall statuesqe gal. I love it. Carol

[Erica2Sweet]

Once an individual succeeds in surrounding his- or herself with good people that genuinely care, then searching for the most acceptable place becomes a moot point...

[AmandaM]

It also depends on what you want. If you want stealth, and can pull it off, any town is fine. Just get far enough away from anyone who knows you. If you don't want stealth, or you are not passable, or you want to be active in gender issues, then the larger gender communities are better. Also, now is a good time for job retraining, if you need it. You could complete it on unemployment, move, then find a job as a woman. So, I guess my advice is to think about how you want your life to be after transition, then make a plan to get there.

[sherri52]

Lauren any large city will be excepting. S F, Boston, N Y, Orlando, L A

[Fab Karen]

But if they allow the voters to decide on the issue, I'm afraid it may go poof just like same-sex marriage laws did in other states, including several that are considered "Liberal."
And doesn't help that Mormons give huge piles of cash to push H8 in other states.

[cdLainie]

Ive heard chicago is a nice place to live.

[Diane Smith]

Ive heard chicago is a nice place to live.

For about six weeks out of the year in April, May and October, perhaps ... this part of the country has HOT and HUMID summers and COLD and SNOWY winters, neither of which lend themselves to showing off in your finest! I've been here (not in Chicago, but about 120 miles south) all my life and will probably never leave, but I certainly wouldn't choose this area for its (meteorological) climate.

- Diane

[cdLainie]

For about six weeks out of the year in April, May and October, perhaps ... this part of the country has HOT and HUMID summers and COLD and SNOWY winters, neither of which lend themselves to showing off in your finest! I've been here (not in Chicago, but about 120 miles south) all my life and will probably never leave, but I certainly wouldn't choose this area for its (meteorological) climate.

- Diane
Yah from where i live i can see chicago from across the lake. Just give global warming some time chicago will be tropical in twenty thirty years.

[Sally24]

I too would recomend the Boston area as a good place to start over, if you change your mind. There are lots of groups to give you support if you are out as TG. People are generally pretty accepting of us in most areas. There's lots to do and see, always something going on. And the country and suburban areas are close by. Mass transit is pretty good so once you know your way around its easy to avoid the traffic if you want (the traffic and drivers here BITE!). If you enjoy the 4 seasons we have all of them! LOL

I agree that you can make it anywhere, but some areas make it so much easier and less stressful. If you always wanted to try some other part of the country, this is the ideal time to try. Good luck!

[Seagull]

I'll start off by saying with relocation you may wish to consider a few needs as well as acceptance.
First off, you'll need somewhere that you can find a position in your current profession, preferably one that will also provide benefits.
Second of all, besides a support network of sisters; You will need access to various medical professions along with whatever other services that you'll need with transition (i.e. electrolosys, etc.)
Thirdly, somewhere with an active social scene is also a plus, along with various entertainment options.

Along with various points along the west coast, Most Northeastern cities offer all of the above, with Atlanta being a wonderful exception in the south.
Personally, if you can find someplace near without being inside the city borders can work out nicely due to the tax savings, etc.

I'll admit to being partial to either Philadelphia, (while not stellar in the size of the community, it does have generally accepting people.) Or Boston which has a large active community.

I hope these sugestions help with whatever you choose to do.