GG Attracted to Married CD

[GracieAnn]

I met a great guy, Evan, who is a crossdresser. I think he is a beautiful on the inside and out. I am intensely attracted to him. He has shown me photos of himself as Evie. I think Evie is sexy as hell. Evan and I have flirted and I have expressed interest in meeting Evie. I would love to help her with lingerie, shoes and makeup. The thought of making out with her is an absolute turn on. I have fantasized about sex with Evan and Evie. I have expressed all of this to Evan.

But he is married. Married to a woman who knows about the crossdressing. She knew about it before they got married. But I guess she thought she could change him. She freaks out if she discovers CD activity and then completely ignores it. Evan is miserable. They have 3 young children. And he constantly lives in fear that she will leave him and that he will lose his children. He put the brakes on the two of us because the wife will definitely leave him if she discovers our friendship. He says he is responsible for this situation and that he has to live with it for the sake of his kids.

I came into these forums looking for information about crossdressing and to look for advice. But I know I need to leave him alone and to be there as his friend if he needs me. So I guess this has turned into a RANT and a word of advice to single CDs out there…

Don’t marry a woman who is not accepting of all your beauty. Women who will love your masculine body and your feminine soul and fashion do exist!
____________________________________________


UPDATE:

Thank you ladies. I have tried giving Evan up. I'm at the six week mark. My rant was a reflection of our time together. I would never expect him to leave his wife for me. The only woman he should do that for is Evie.

I already joined dateacrossdresser.com a week ago. I met a cool guy in my area. But today he told me "by the way I'm married." ARRRRGH!

[Andy66]

:doh: Do yourself a favor and leave him alone. There are so many reasons.

[Miranda09]

Hi Gracie. As you said in your post, I agree...it's better you cut off the relationship before it gets out of hand. As for your friend, he's in a difficult situation, and maybe should never have gotten married, but that's hindsight. It can be tough, especially when you care for someone.

[TonyaV]

First of all, welcome to our community. I agree with Ann. It's best you not get involved with him any deeper than just platonic friendship. My advice to you is to stick around this forum, and who knows, you may find a single CD that can fulfill your fantasies and desires without anyone else getting hurt or lives ruined.

My :2c:
Tonya

[linnea]

It's great that you feel accepting and supportive. Perhaps you'll find another CD who is available and interested.
But the situation with Evan/Evie has danger written all over it. Furthering it in any way will produce disastrous results.

[kellycan27]

Run away from him, for not only your sake,but for the sake of his family.

[danielle.cd]

i know my wife doesnt want to have anything to do with me when im dressed and i respect that as long as she lets me do my thing she loves me for me but says im too different when im in fem mode so she tries to ignore me i could see her not being turned on by a girl cause im not turned on by a guy it would be nice to have someone like you around to talk to and stuff i wouldnt want my family broke up over some help if u know what i mean i guess it would depend on the wife,
mine has told me my time is my time and she dont care what i do she doesnt want to know what i do when im dressed so not to say i would do anything but i wouldnt know until that situation comes

[KandisTX]

Do yourself and him a favor and walk away hon. It'll be better for the both of you in the long run.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[LaurenKLee]

I think you don't want to be the home wrecker, but if he decides that being with you will make him happy despite the risk of losing his kids than you shouldn't say no.

[Claire Cook]

Gracie,

I agree with the majority opinion - back away from this one. An accepting GG friend can be a powerful elixir for a CD, and if it gets intense it can get really intense. Let Evan and Edie sort out their problems on their own. If he becomes free, then the door is open. Until then -- there are lots of us out there who are not attched -- seek them out!

BTW, I have a number of GG friends who go out with me. They are all friends of my wife, and when we go out as two (or three) girls it is totally platonic.

[sherri]

But I know I need to leave him alone and to be there as his friend if he needs me. You need to leave him alone, period. Forget the friend thing, cuz that's just playing with fire -- and I suspect that deep down you know that.

Trust me honey, if CD is what turns you on, you should have no trouble finding someone else.

[TabbyJames]

Hi Gracie, It is very enlightening that you can find beauty in a man who cd's, there are many of us out there and if this is something you wish to seek out, please do. I think that we are special in that we have charactaristics of both genders that shine through and as such can make for wonderful, faithful partners. As for Evan/Evie, you should move on and don't look back. Breaking up a family is a terrible thing to do and you should think about the long term aspects of this. Keep looking sweetheart, you will find what you want.

[MarciManseau]

:doh: Do yourself a favor and leave him alone. There are so many reasons.

No, do his three kids a favor and leave him alone. They need him a lot more than you do. This is NO time to be selfish.

[Jennifer_Ph]

:doh: Do yourself a favor and leave him alone. There are so many reasons.

Most excellent advice.

[Amanda Styles]

I concur, don't get in the way of a relationship with married people.
If he doesn't get the support he needs from his wife or if she can't accept you might get him on the rebound. Bide your time. If that doesn't happen there are plenty of other willing unattached CD's.

[Karren H]

Nooooo. Personally I would not get caught up in this.... If I we're you!! But I hear Tiger is taking applications again!! And the women are lining up (to cash in) so don't be locked out.... and who knowsl... He might even look cute in a dress... Lol.

[Astrid Star]

You have my sympathy Gracie. It sounds like the two of you should have met first.


Don’t marry a woman who is not accepting of all your beauty. Women who will love your masculine body and your feminine soul and fashion do exist!

I certainly would not marry a woman that does not approve of my crossdressing. To be blunt, if she had a problem with that then I would just tell her to "beat it!" :Angry3: Clothes are just fabric formed into one shape or another, there are no "magical barriers" that resonate from men's or women's clothing that stops the other gender from wearing them.

Astrid

[gabe]

No, do his three kids a favor and leave him alone. They need him a lot more than you do. This is NO time to be selfish.

I second that!!! You are touching a lot of lives.

[AKASadieGG]

Do everyone involved a favor and leave this man alone. He doesn't belong to you. For one thing you are only hearing his side if the story, and it seems it's always the same story with men whether they are CDer's or not. My wife doesn't understand me, accept me, blah, blah, blah. He's is most likely not going to give up his family for you and if he did would you want to be with a man who just walks away from his children? It could be you in the next few years. IMHO.:Angry3:

[Andy66]

No, do his three kids a favor and leave him alone. They need him a lot more than you do. This is NO time to be selfish.
Thank you, Marci. Those are three of the reasons. I could have typed out a pretty good sized list of reasons, but I have a feeling Gracieann already knows.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

Gracie,

The best thing to do is just walk away from him. Getting involved with someone who is married is like playing with fire,you could get seriously burned.


If you really want to meet a M to F CDer, just go to dateacrossdresser.com,create an account,saying "GG Wants To Meet M To F Crossdresser For Relationship" and I'm sure you'll have plenty of willing takers.

Good luck to you.



Felicity :)

[Tracii G]

I agree best to walk away.

[DonnaT]

Unless I misread Gracie's post, she already decided to leave him alone.

Very commendable, Gracie!

Welcome to the forum.

[carolinoakland]

Well, Gracie, it is best to walk away, be an ear yes, but keep yourself out of it. He has much to deal with without the complications. For me, I wouldn't want to be with someone unless they could give me all of themselves. If he resolves these issue's and honestly he either will stay in misery until his kids are out of the house, and believe me you WILL see the fur fly when the house is finally just the two of them... and hopefully he won't snap and destroy his whole life recklessly out of feelings of frustration. I've seen it happen, perfectly closeted until one day the wife see's a pic or outfit 'accidentally' left out where she will find it... For your heart though.... there are many single CD's who would sell their souls for a woman like you, don't sell yourself short. Carol

[docrobbysherry]

No, in my 60 years on this earth, I CAN'T RECALL of that EVER happening before!:eek:

But, if I DID, I'd say, " Look at how that USUALLY turns out!":devil:

[Joanne f]

Although it is always good to hear of a GG who is accepting of our way of life i have to agree with the rest , it is one thing to be friendly with the married couple but something totally different when you want a relationship with the husband , you have to let him sort out his marriage with his wife and not give him a very good reason to turn to you in the way that you would like .

[lavistaa62]

It sounds like Evan is unhappy but is it his unhappiness or your perception of his state? We all see what we would like to exist after all.

It does sound as though he could use a good friend and you sound like a good person the question is how able are the two of you able to keep the situation in a state which would not destabilize his marriage before "it's time has come"? Are you attracted to him in a "get married" sort of way or just sexually? Is moving the relationship into something sexual worth the chance of him ending up alone (sans you, his SO and his kids)?

I left an unhappy marriage under somewhat similar circumstances, not exactly the same but having met someone after separating that really helped me through the transition to singledom and then back into a happier marriage. It has to be something Evan does though. I'm not one who believes all marriages are sacrosanct nor do I think that a "broken" marriage means broken children- often it can be just the opposite. The transition period though will be turmoil that was as tough on me and everyone else involved as it gets and in the end you may or may not prove compatible, his kids may or may not accept you. Definitely though if his SO decides to divorce him then you will get dragged into court- that's just the way it goes.

Just thoughts to ponder based on one person's experiences.

[Fab Karen]

( regarding temptation )Married guys very rarely leave their wives.

[Presh GG]

Hi Gracie,

Please listen to the majority here.
You are only hearing Evan's side. He / she / THEY got those beautiful children somehow.

It's wrong, you know it's wrong.

He's Married.

springtime GG
Welcome to the forum.
Get your 10 posts in and join the FAB. :)

[MJ]

Hi Gracie,

i agree with others here.
any how there are 100's of single cd out there...

[Ras]

Gracie, very well put! The best thing you can do for your friend is to be a good friend for him/her. But tread very cautious as if his wife finds out there will be hell to pay for everyone.

[Lainie]

...if it's the CDing that appeals to you.

Staying married is important, and apparently hard to do, according to the statistics.

Plenty of fish in the "C"

[Rebecca Jayne]

Cut you fishing line on that one
Go out trollin' and get one that ain't hooked yet.

[AmandaM]

Gosh Gracie! There are a ton of single CDers here. Sounds like this guy is on the rocks. I know you like him and all that, but there's lots of guys to like. And you'll inherit his "baggage", i.e., ex-wife, kid visitation, etc., etc. You don't want to be responsible for that sort of thing, do you?

[Alice B]

Welcome to our site. But, as others have said in so many words...move on with your life. If down the road his marriage fails you can then try to pick things up if there is still an interest. But, DO NOT BE THE CAUSE. That will lead to certain failure.

Sometimes because something is not available it makes your urges stronger, but for the wrong reasons. I wish you well. :hugs:

[Paulette]

Gracie fill out your profile and I am sure that there is a CD here who would love to get to know you. I think all of the advice about Evan was spot on and please think about the greater picture even when he can not. The pink fog can cloud the best of us. Good luck.

[Autumndawn]

I'm thankful that you are moving on, and you've joined here, cause there are plenty of single "gals" here that would love to have someone like you!!!:)

People in a relationship that start providing intimate greviences, hurts, and wishes outside the relationship with another are tossing red flags up as to their ability to actually work on a relationship with their partner. The first focus is to resolve the relationship's issues, then move on from there. That's what Evan needs to do. The only help you can provide is to tell him to fix what he's got first, then let him have the space to do so.

:sad:Affairs always turn out to be very nasty and painful. They always carry an unbelievable amount of emotional hurt. Acute emotional hurt. It's the kind you could never even wish on your worst enemy. The outcome is almost always more devastation then happiness.