Be Careful What You Wish For

[Phyliss]

You just might get it.
How many of us have said:
1. I wish I could dress at home
2. I wish I could apply my makeup in the bathroom
3. I wish I could hang my dresses in my closet
4. I wish I could do the house work while dressed
5. I wish I could .....

The list goes forever

My wish was granted yesterday. 38 years, 3 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days of marriage .... over. My wife died.

Dressing means nothing compared to having somebody to share my life with. I already miss seeing her roll her eyes at me when I stop in the store and admire a cute dress on display
See my post in the Milestones forum

[Katelyn]

I'm very sorry to hear that hon. My prayers go out to you. :hugs:

[Joanne f]

Phyliss,
i am very sorry to hear your sad news and send you my sympathy and condolences.

[DaisyG]

Phylliss,

I'm so very sorry to learn of your wife's passing. I understand what you're going thru. Only 6 months ago - - it seems like just yesterday, yet it seems an eternity, my wife passed on. We had 39 years, 8 months and one week together, and had been planning to celebrate our Big 40th.

The wishes you recall are all so familiar, and all so true.

Please accept my sincerest sympathy,

Hugs! :hugs:

Daisy

[Samantha Girl]

Oh Phylis I am so sorry about your wife passing away :( I hope you receive all the love and support you need during this time. Gosh, 38 years, that is amazing, I'm so sorry sweety.

EDIT: Daisy I am sorry for your loss as well :( I hope things get better for you, I can't imagine the pain you continue going through.

[Jillt]

So sorry. my thoughs and prayers are with you

[MissKara]

Ohhh, I am sooo sorry to hear that Phylliss :hugs:

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Love,
Miss Kara

[jetta]

My heart goes out to you.....so very sorry for your loss. I'm recently divorced after 27 years and I feel lost at times, I can only imagine your loss. You are in my prayers.

[noeleena]

Hi. Phylliss.

Oh i m so sorry that you r. s o. has left you .
my thoughts are there for you .
hugs .........

the wish list .
that s a part of who i am . so no wish s needed .

may be one .that Jos & i stay living with each other .

...noeleena...

[Jenny Gurl]

I am sorry for your loss. Prayers go out to you and the loved ones around her. It is so early in the grieving process, but I would like to give you a link to a support group web site where people with similar problems can get together like we do here. The link is directly to widows and widowers, but you can look up anything you can think of there. Again I am sorry for your loss.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Widows-Widowers/support-group

[Jeanna]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.
Jeanna

[Jonianne]

I'm sorry for your loss, Phyliss. After 38 years of a life together, I'm sure the grief will be overwhelming at times, but know she will always be with you in your heart. Focus on all the wonderful memories, even when she would roll her eyes at you!

[dominique]

Sorry to hear about your loss. May she rest in peace.

[Maddie]

Words can not express.......May god hold you in his hands and guide you

Maddie

[DAVIDA]

Phyliss, I am so sorry for your loss.

Daisy, I am sorry for your loss too.

I can't even imagine what the two of you are going through.
I am a mess just thinking about this.
I don't know what I could do, but if you want to talk, PM me and I will give you my number.

[crossdrezzer1]

Ohhhhh,,,,, babe,,,, I am sooooo sorry for your loss,,, I wish you well thru this very hard time...

[Presh GG]

Dear Phyliss,

38 years of love and laughter.
Please accept our sincere condolances on your Dear wifes passing.

Hold in your heart the knowledge you loved and were loved.

Peace,

spring and Tea

[Raychel]

I am sorry for your loss, sounds so generic, I wish I could think of something more to say that would help. But right now I am totally at a loss for words.

The loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things in your life. I pray that she did not suffer in her passing, and pray that you have family and good friends to assist you in your time of griefing. :hugs:

[Starling]

Dear Phyliss, my deepest condolences on your loss.

Love,
Lallie

[PetiteDuality]

I'm really sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine myself without my wife.

But please honey, don't blame your wishes for it. It's natural law, and what you wished for has nothing to do with what happened.

You'll be in my prayers.

[Suzie S.]

Phyliss, and Daisy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your wives. :hugs: Like the others have said, it's difficult finding words to comfort you. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. I sincerely believe they are in a better place, free of pain and suffering, where they can live on forever in your hearts. :hugs: We are all here for you if you need us.

[erickka]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My condolences on your loss.

[RobynB]

I'm sorry for your loss. I know you will miss her.

[linnea]

I'm so sad for you. I know how I would feel in your situation--a great sense of loss and an emptiness. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

[robyn1114]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, please feel free to cry on my virtual shoulder

[Patricia Jane]

I can tell by your comments that you really cared for your wife, I hope and pray that you able to remember all the Best things of your relationship, and please do not leave us!

[Tomara]

Hi Phyliss

I am really sorry for your loss , I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you have our friendship and support to help you through these difficult times.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

:hugs:Tomara

[Teri Jean]

Phyliss I'm so sorry to hear this as I also lost mine after 35 yrs two years ago. You are right in your feelings, I would give up everything to have her back. Take care sister and my heart goes out to you during this trying time.

Huge huggs Teri

[anna kate]

Sorry for your loss Phylis. Mary and I have been married 43 years and I can't imagine, what life without her would be like, very empty for sure.
I'm sure, the members of this forum will be here for you, when you need someone to talk to.
Huggs,
Anna Kate

[Barbara918]

I hope you can be as lucky as I've been -- My wife died 21 years ago and immediately became Barbara's guardian angel. During her lifetime she opposed my CDing, but since then she's been right beside me whenever I've gone out en femme.
My sincerest condolences.

[bethw]

I'm so sorry for your loss Phyliss. Words can't say enough. Just know that you are in my prayers.
Beth

[gwen cd]

oh my dear.
Our heart goes out to you in this time.
You are in our thoughts.

[Shadeauxmarie]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Words fail me.:sad:

[Ricki S.]

Sending sincere condolences and sympathy. Carry her always in your heart.

[Edwina]

Dear Phyliss
Please also accept my heartfelt condolence. You are in my thoughts.

:love:

Edwina

[sophie13]

Dear Phyliss, My thoughts and prayers are with you, My condolences on your loss.

[DiannaRose]

Phyllis, I'm so sorry to hear. You have my prayers and thoughts.

[Joan Lea]

Sorry for your loss. My best wishes for you and yours.

[TabbyJames]

Hi Phyllis, My sincere condolences to you and your family. 38 years together is such a blessing, and an even harder loss.

[cdinmd206]

My condolences to you. My she rest in peace and always be remembered as a loving and supportive wife.

[AndreaCD 2007]

Oh Phyliss ...i'm so sorry, my prayers are with you in this sad time

[Alicia Grey]

Words fail at times like these, I can only echo the well wishes that have been expressed. My heart grieves for your loss.

[Kerigirl2009]

I am so sorry for your loss. remember all of the wonderful times you shared together. God Bless you.

[Annette_boy]

Hi Phyliss

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and you too Daisy I lost my Wife and best GF five years 5 month abd 27 days ago I still find my self expecting her to come in and talk to me. We hav thirty years ten months and three days
and I still miss her I do feel your pain girls.It is never easy but you will survive I wish there was something I could say that would make it all better but all I can do is offer big hugs
Hugs Hugs Annette

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I'm very sorry for your loss Phyliss,
you are in my thoughts.

[Sara Jessica]

I don't know how you managed to write this so soon afterwards, I would have shorted out my entire system with tears. You have my deepest sympathy Phyliss.

[shesgotleggs]

I too am at a loss for words right now. May God take you both by the hand and lead you through these dark times. Think often about all the wonderful good times you shared with that special person.

A few days ago I posted about how emotional I was with a rough patch in my life and I was so encouraged by the responses. This board is truly a tremendous source of support.

You are all in my prayers.:hugs:

Godspeed, Tracy

[Leanne2]

Dear Phyliss,
When two people marry they become as one. Then when the marriage ends we feel like part of our body has been ripped off. We can never again feel like we did when we were young and single. But in a way we are better for the experience. The old saying goes," It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." You have my sympathy. Leanne

[Picklebob]

Phyliss, I'm so sorry to hear that. You're in our thoughts.

[DanielleLee]

Phyliss, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[theresa]

Phyliss,

I am so sorry for your loss. From everything you've said you and your wife shared a very special and loving relationship together. Your message reminds us all to cherish those relationships above all else, including CD'g.

By all the responses I see your message was heard.

Our hearts and prayers go out to you.

[Wen4cd]

God I'm so sorry dear. *clings* Anything we/I can do to help....

[Angie G]

Phyliss I'm so sorry. I've been married 41 years and can't imagine that happening. I'm here if you wish to talk hun. Just know your dear wife is in a better place at peace and at the right hand of God. My prayers and thoughts are with you hun. I wish I could give you a big in person hug.: Love Angie

[Joy3]

What a wonderful, meaningful post! My wife does not like my CDing at all. However, I love her dearly, she is my soulmate and I cannot imagine being without her.
God bless you!

Joy

[TonyaV]

Oh Phyllis! So sorry about your loss?

[Melissa Anne]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you find peace and comfort.

[TGMarla]

I am so sorry to hear it, Phyllis. It's devastating to lose one's life partner. I have often thought that the only way those "wishes" would come true for me would be if my wife were taken from me. Every time, I conclude that it's not worth the trade. My heart goes out to you. I imagine dressing up will feel a bit hollow for you for a while. May time bring you comfort. I am sad for you.

:hugs:

[Mary Morgan]

Phyliss, I lost my wife 12 years ago after 28 years of marriage and 30 years of togetherness. Everyday I think of all that I have and how much she would enjoy it, and how much she did to make it possible. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her.

But life does go on. I have remarried, I'm retired and living a good life. We cannot replace what we had but we can find new experiences and enjoy life again.

Remember that one day we will be together again. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Brooke Smith]

Phyliss,
I'm so sorry for your loss.It's a very trying time for you I know, but clearly you have friends here who love and support you. I hope you take some comfort from that. Peace.

[kellycan27]

Phyliss, My condolences for your loss. I am so very sorry.

Kelly

[suchacutie]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your post is so true and important for all of us to hear. Thank you for taking the time and having the thought to include us at this time in your life.

tina

[abigailf]

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I'll keep you and your wife in my prayers.

[Viv]

I will keep you in my prayers Phyliss.:hugs:

[Tina B.]

Phyliss, Let me add my conolances to all the rest, I know there is nothing that can be said to lessen your feelings of loss. I think the loss of a life mate must be one of the worst things that a person has to endure in this life, and my heart goes out to those that must endure such a loss. I hope you have family and good friends to help you through these rough times, But you know you have all of us, and we will all be here for you in anyway we can.
Tina

[Lorileah]

Phyliss I am so sorry, you have my deepest sympathy and prayers. It is tough losing your best friend, companion, confidant and lover. I wish the best for you and hope you keep the fond memories forever.

[Andy66]

Phyllis, I'm so sorry to hear that. It really makes you think about what's important in life, doesn't it? :hugs:

[DonnaT]

My deepest condolences, Phyllis.

[Loni]

my thoughts go out for you, sounds like you two had a long and good mariage.

remember life goes on and you have many people here online and around you that might not show but do care about you.

hugs.

Loni

.

[carolinoakland]

Phyliss, may the universe keep her safe and warm in it's infinite love and embrace until the two of you are again one. In the meantime, hold my hand, do you feel me? We're here and you are NOT alone! Peace and love. Carol

[brenda lynn mwe]

im so sorry for your loss. your in my prayers:hugs::love:

[SherriePall]

Phyliss -- I am so terribly sorry to hear about your wife's passing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[carhill2mn]

I am sorry to hear about your loss. It will take a while to grieve and adjust.

[Laura_Stephens]

I will keep you in my prayers. May God be with you and comfort you.

[Shelly Preston]

Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your wife :hugs:

[Karen kc]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you!

[pattyv]

Phyliss-My sincere condolences on your loss. May she rest in peace.

[Carole]

Phyllis, words cannot convey the deepest sympathy I and I'm sure we all here in the forum have for you today, as shown by page 4 already of replies. Our hearts and thoughts are with you in the days ahead.:hugs:

[jenacd]

I am so sorry for your loss I wish there were some magic words to help you deal with your loss.I will keep you im my prayers.

[Fab Karen]

Sorry to hear that. Having lost my mother in Jan. I know from experience you have to sit and feel the feelings. And remember you can talk to her though her physical self is no longer around.

[StephanieC]

I'm sorry for your loss(es).

[kateyliz]

Let me add my condolences to the rest here. I lost a daughter to cancer about 4 months ago and I still get teary when I think about her (like now).Hugs,Kathy

[Lainie]

Deeply sorry for your loss. Death is normal, happens to us all, and yet is so hard to bear. We wouldn't be human without grief.

"Without the shadow, there can be no sun." --Camus

[matrioshka]

Phyliss, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say.

Kat

[Michelle I]

Phyliss-
My sincere condolences on your loss. I too have too have lost my wife, everyday it gets a little better but I sure miss having her around.
May she rest in peace

[Emma68]

Phyliss,

I know words seem empty at a time like this but I want to offer my deepest condolences. All I can say is that you may have lost your wife physically but the emotional connection and the memories can never be taken from you. You are both in my prayers.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Phyliss I am so sorry to hear this. My sincerest sympathy's and condolences. May wour wife rest in peace, forever with angels.

[Mandy Burgundy]

My condolences, I'm sure she was very important to you. Cherish all the memories you had together. Be well.

[krissy_toronto]

Phylis
My heart goes out to you and your family

[LeslieSD]

Sorry to hear about that. And please take care.

[jenna_woods]

I couldn't agree with you more, live with my love arounf would mean nothing,O have been alone for 4 weeks and as it was fun being dressed every day and hanging my things up it was lonly, she's back now and I am glad, oh she was visting, no problems here,

[Spacey]

I'm so sorry. My condolences.

[Maria in heels]

Phyliss....I am so so sorry to hear about your loss...my thoughts to with you.......

[BLUE ORCHID]

Dear Phyliss
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Trust in the Lord to guide you.
You know that you have a few thousand friends here for you.
May your highways be covered with rose petals and sunshine
for the rest of you life
................................................wi th love aways ......Orchid

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Dear Phyliss-

I am sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[VanessaVW]

Phyllis,

So sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts during this difficult time.

Vanessa

[Rianna Humble]

Phyliss, words are inadequate at a time like this. It hurts and nothing can change that. But when it threatens to hurt too much, we are there to offer you love and support.

Your wife may be gone, but she will not be forgotten.

[sissystephanie]

Phylliss,

I'm so very sorry to learn of your wife's passing. I understand what you're going thru. Only 6 months ago - - it seems like just yesterday, yet it seems an eternity, my wife passed on. We had 39 years, 8 months and one week together, and had been planning to celebrate our Big 40th.
The wishes you recall are all so familiar, and all so true.
Please accept my sincerest sympathy,Hugs! :hugs:Daisy

Daisy, I will address this to you since I have already exchanged PM's with Phylliss regarding her loss. My heartfelt condolences on your loss!! I know exactly what both of you are going thru since I lost my wife in February of 2005, just 5 months shy of our 50th! To add to that, we had known each since I was 9 and she was 7. In other words over 60 years! As I told Phylliss, I am always here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on, or for whatever reason. The three of us have something in common, but not something we wanted! Feel free to PM, or email me anytime!!

[Mitzi]

Phylliss

My heart sank when I read the reason for your post, I could just feel the pain should that happen to me...

Perhaps, in time, your heart will heal...

Mitzi

[Paulette]

You are in my prayers.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

My deepest condolences to you.

Veronica Rogers.

[PretzelGirl]

Phyllis, I am so sorry to here this. There are no words that can help. But you do have everyone here to turn to as needed. My condolences.

[erika130]

Phylis, Daisy,
38 years is amazing,
I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through
I'm so sorry about your wife passing away
As someone already said, I really I hope you receive all the love and support you need during this very difficult times
And there's also this wonderful community here always willing to listen and offer support
So sorry, my deepest condolences
Love, Erika

[Laura Evans]

Oh, Phyllis, I am so sorry to hear the sad news. I agree with you about our companions being so critical in our lives. I will pray for you and you can contact me anytime if you need to talk.
Love from Laura

[amandag]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the many memories will remain with you.

Amanda

[karigal1]

Phyliss,

I am new here, so we haven't gotten the opportunity to chat yet, but I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your wife will remain in my prayers.

[Nigella23]

May I add my deepest sympathies, I am truly saddened by your loss.
What struck me most poignantly was others posts sharing their own losses, and how many of these were all longer than many peoples lifetimes. May time ease the pain, and memories lessen the sadness.

[NV Susan]

Sorry to hear of your loss, may God bless you both.

[giuseppina]

I am saddened to hear of your wife's passing, Phyliss. May she rest in peace.

[SusanMarie]

Words are so inadequate and yet so important. I wish I could be more eloquent.
My deepest sympathies.

[RADER]

Phyiliss Sory for your loss. My wife is going through rough times medicaly
rite now, I don't know what I would do if I lost her. Good Luck. Rader

[Phyliss]

THANK YOU to each and every person who commented.

To let everybody know that my wife was ( I hate using the past tense ) a real person who cared about others

The obit:

http://www.legacy.com/Fosters/DeathNotices.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=137122784

[Sally24]

Phyliss, I am so sorry for your loss. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help out.

[Juanita O]

Phyliss

I am sorry for your loss. My condolences. You will be in my prayers.

[Tina P Hose]

Peace be with you my friend.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I offer my condolence and symphony to you and your family.

[Holly]

Phyliss, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your wife, I can't begin to understand what your are going through. I can only hope that you can draw strength from your family and friends here and elsewhere and the courage to look forward. May a higher power comfort you in these days of sorrow. :hugs:

[Bethany38]

Phyliss, I am so saddened to hear of the loss of your wife I wish you peace. I do not know what I would do without my Sue. I cannot imageine the griefe you are dealing with. My condolences to you dear. You are in my prayers. Bethany.

[MJ]

Phyliss,
i am very sorry for you loss :hugs:

[sarah378619]

Phyliss,
I am sorry for your loss. There is nothing that can prepare one for the separation of a loved one by death. Just remember that she loved all of you. Just remember she would want you to go on and be happy.
Sarah

[MissyW]

Very sorry to hear that

[vivianann]

May God bless you and your sweet wife's spirit.:hugs:

[Samara]

I'm very sorry

[osteph]

May God bless you and your sweet wife's spirit.:hugs:

Amen to that.

Osteph

[aggi123]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. All I can offer are my condolences and I hope nothing but the best for you!

[Marcie4you]

I'm SO sorry. I know that doesn't help. My wife left in 2007 for a real man, I almost prefer she died, as then I could still love her......Hang in there, the hurt, will soften a little with time......

[Phyliss]

I'm SO sorry. I know that doesn't help. My wife left in 2007 for a real man, I almost prefer she died, as then I could still love her......Hang in there, the hurt, will soften a little with time......


Just because I like to wear "girl" clothes doesn't make me any less of a "Real Man"

A Real Man, keeps the vows he made at his wedding
A Real Man, loves his children, no matter what
A Real Man, provides for his family
A Real Man, cares for his wife, ... no matter what
A Real Man, stands tall and is proud of his accomplishments
A Real Man, is ready to help a neighbor in need
A Real Man, is confident in himself
A Real Man, is able to express himself and allow himself to be emotional
A Real Man, understands the world does not revolve around him
A Real Man, is willing to do whatever it takes to protect his family
A Real Man, will look a person straight in the eye and speak the truth

Yeah, I can "fem" it up with the best of 'em and I like to do that, ... but, I always remember who and what I am, no matter the clothing I wear.

[Tracy_Victoria]

Sorry I missed this thred phyliss.

Firstly sorry to hear your very sad news, and yes your right, many of us have those sort of wishes, although I have to be honest and say I feel I'm one of the lucker ones.

Firstly I'm lucky enough to be one of those that can drive my dressing, rather than it drive me, ie I can go with out dressing every minute of my life, and i'm able to spend prolonged periods of not dressing, until I want/am able to dress. (ie I control it, not it controls me)

Secondly I'm lucky enough to have a partner who knows about Tracy and we can talk. I think we both would agree to difficulty between us because of my dressing, but all the same, I wanted her to know about all of me, over just painting her an outer shell and presenting that as me, with out telling her fully about me totally. At least there are times we can talk about it, but having a partner that knows, doesn't mean having a partner that partake, or encourages.

You now have a very different live ahead of you Phyliss, and I wish you well, losing a loved one is always very difficult, which is why we should always grab good times and remember them with affection, to have been together nearly 39 years means no matter what life threw at you, you both meant a lot to each other, and therefore I hope you new life journey is as good as clearly your life together was, to have been together for so long.

keep well phylis, and all the very best at this sad time.

[PantyhoseNPumps]

Oh Phyliss...I'm sooo sorry to hear for your loss....I can't imagine. I certainly don't hope that you blame yourself in any indirect way sweetheart...You know...if she truly loved you, which I'm sure she did...she must be at peace with your lifestyle now. You have lots of friends here, and we'll be here for you if you need to talk...ok? Please, feel free to write me if you need someone to talk to..ok? Please hang in there sweetie! Christine

[Paula Siemen]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Accept my sincerest sympathy.

Where does the soul go? Some say Heaven, Some say other places. When I look up to the sky on a Glorious clear night and see the myriads of stars, too many to even be counted, and I think of all who have lived on this earth, too may to be counted. I cannot escape the thought, that maybe the soul becomes a star, ever burnig bright. A guide in the night. Could this be true, will we ever know for sure. Likely not. But it gives me great solice to contemplate this thought on a clear evening when I think of friends and family members who are with us not. Just pick a star for your wife to be and she will forever guide you through eternity.

God Bless you BOTH!

Paula

[raksha GG]

Dear Phyllis, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you have plenty of good memories to keep you going until you are reunited.:hugs:

[StephSissy]

Phyliss, I'm very sorry for your loss. After more than 38 years together I just can't imagine your pain! Our thoughts and prayers are with you in this most difficult time.