A word for the wise.

[Jessinthesprings]

Earlier this year I hired a guy named Dru. This young man came in and we had a very nice conversation and at the end of the interview I had to tell him in order to work here he would need to shave his beard. Like many men he was not happy but, needed a job. I went on with my week and thought nothing more of this gentleman who had graced my path until he came in for oreintation.

It was just the two of us and when I asked for his ID my jaw dropped. The name was Sara. After a second I set the ID down and asked him, "Does this mean you are trassexual?"

I could see the aprehension in his eyes but, he answered with a yes. I laughed and said "me too."

I think that made his day as you could visibly see the worry lift away from his shoulders and there was of course the disbelife as he had never met another transsexual before.

Here comes the issue. He showed me the legal name change forms, and his social security card already reflected the proper name. He explained that his new driver's liscence was in the mail and on the way (which the state messed up on and retained the F gender mark). I told him that we would push the correct paper work through and pretend that we "forgot" to get copies of the ID's. To me his past and birth name was no one's buisness. As it should be.

I was off the next two days and unfortunatly, and the store manager forced the issue and the new ID did not come in. She got the ID and saw that the name was Sara and pushed the paperwork through under that name. Despite her negitive views on transgenderism she surprisingly kept it to only herself and one other manager.

I was able to deflect questions I was getting from the crew who had heard things until payday came in. Despite submitting the correct forms with the correct name the check was still addressed to Sara. A person who no longer exisits makeing it difficult to cash and exposing Dru as a transsexual to another manager who did not keep mum.

At this point the whole crew and management staff knew and this poor man who was passable and had every opportunity go stealth leaving that old life behind could no longer do so. Thankfully other than a few snickers behind his back he was still treated with respect. But, it was a situation that could have been compleatly advoided had his ID had been reflected correctly at the time of orintation.

So... in short if you want to hide that past from your employer get all your IDs legal and in order by the time you go in for orientation.

[Stephenie S]

So I am totally confused. Sarah had a beard? Was Sarah a transgendered woman or a transgendered man? Sarah should have been Joe? Or was Joe now Sarah? I'm having a brain melt.

Stephie

[CharleneT]

Very good point !

Although a sad tale, it also has its silver lining: you :) Probably a lot of HR people would have done the same thing, but boy would I have been happy to find out the one sitting across from me was also TG. Dru will no doubt be unhappy about being out'd right off by the system, but he was accepted and eventually (I hope) the crew will forget the "her" part of the story. This also means that Dru will have clear sailing (id wise) for the rest of his employment career.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Sounds like a good point...

he's an ftm the way i read it

i hope dru does well there

[Jessinthesprings]

So I am totally confused. Sarah had a beard? Was Sarah a transgendered woman or a transgendered man? Sarah should have been Joe? Or was Joe now Sarah? I'm having a brain melt.

Stephie

Dru was Sarah, and Dru is a FTM

[Angel.Marie76]

Jeez.. that just stinks. I suppose that there's not much that can be done really. It was just bad timing I guess on everyone's part. Good for him though on the Transition.. and if you happen to have a random conversation with him about TS stuff, tell him we (or at least I) send him best wishes in working through the new job trauma. SO much for going Deep Stealth.

So goes life I suppose - more proof that there are more of us out there than people realize, and once the government gets off their a$$es, and starts pushing for a nationwide fully-inclusive ENDA, I'd be willing to put money on the publicly known variable of 'Transgender/Transsexual' citizens of the U.S.A. jumping up quite a few percent.

[melimelo]

It reminds me of my own situation. I work in a team of about 15 people. Well, one of my colleagues is a FtM and he came out a month ago, although we've known about each other for some time. Probably some trans-mind reading stuff... :heehee:

Anyway, it makes me wonder: what were the odds, in a group of 15, to have 2 transgender persons? And furthermore, one of each? I'm coming out tomorrow and I can't wait to see the faces of everybody... "What, another?" "Is this contagious?" :roflmao:

[Jenny Chen]

It reminds me of my own situation. I work in a team of about 15 people. Well, one of my colleagues is a FtM and he came out a month ago, although we've known about each other for some time. Probably some trans-mind reading stuff... :heehee:

Anyway, it makes me wonder: what were the odds, in a group of 15, to have 2 transgender persons? And furthermore, one of each? I'm coming out tomorrow and I can't wait to see the faces of everybody... "What, another?" "Is this contagious?" :roflmao:

Oh my god cooties! *panic and hides under a rock* oh wait i already got it... Never mind :D

[Diane Elizabeth]

That sounds like good advice. But I do have a question. If one has all the right ID in place and apply for a job. Wouldn't it come out when there is a background chek on the person. Wouldn't they call previous emploers to check. They would ask if Dru worked there at any time and they would say no. In order for that to work the previous emplyer would have to know about Dru and Sara being the same. And know not to say anything further. This all could lead to problems.

[CharleneT]

That sounds like good advice. But I do have a question. If one has all the right ID in place and apply for a job. Wouldn't it come out when there is a background chek on the person. Wouldn't they call previous emploers to check. They would ask if Dru worked there at any time and they would say no. In order for that to work the previous emplyer would have to know about Dru and Sara being the same. And know not to say anything further. This all could lead to problems.

Tis a good point ! You could contact previous employers and tell them of the name change. That might help a lot. Depending on how extensive the background check is, you will be "out'd" for sure. But I think that would have to do with high level stuff mostly.

[Angel.Marie76]

Tis a good point ! You could contact previous employers and tell them of the name change. That might help a lot. Depending on how extensive the background check is, you will be "out'd" for sure. But I think that would have to do with high level stuff mostly.

Ehhh.. I dunno about that, a LOT of companies are doing things like credit checks and Police/CORI checks these days. They want to know if you're a trustworthy soul. I work for a simple company, nothing fancy at all, but it is in the financial industry. When I was interviewed for the position, they asked me flat out - when they do a background / credit check, will it come up with anything unusual. If I had been running deep stealth then, the thought would cross my mind that, unless I had a perfectly modified history, that something might look amiss. Things like a 30+ yr old with no or next to no credit history, or a CORI that comes back with fingerprint matches for TWO people? WRut wro rorge.... I know there's plenty of things one can do to help keep up the shield, but at the same time, there's also a need for people you can TRUST not to throw a ticking timebomb behind the defenses just waiting for the opportune time to take you out.

I have high respect for folks who can pull off deep stealth, but nowadays, esp with the whole Patriot Act horsecrap and so on, covering your tracks completely is not only a pain, but feels nearly impossible.

[Scotty]

Also sounds like a good cause to "Lose" your ID before you transition and try for hte opposite sex, in losing it you will get a new one....

And in an emergency could use that ID to cash a check..


Check your state and local laws first, even with a punch through it, it's a valid ID.

[CharleneT]

Ehhh.. I dunno about that, a LOT of companies are doing things like credit checks and Police/CORI checks these days. They want to know if you're a trustworthy soul. I work for a simple company, nothing fancy at all, but it is in the financial industry. When I was interviewed for the position, they asked me flat out - when they do a background / credit check, will it come up with anything unusual. If I had been running deep stealth then, the thought would cross my mind that, unless I had a perfectly modified history, that something might look amiss. Things like a 30+ yr old with no or next to no credit history, or a CORI that comes back with fingerprint matches for TWO people? WRut wro rorge.... I know there's plenty of things one can do to help keep up the shield, but at the same time, there's also a need for people you can TRUST not to throw a ticking timebomb behind the defenses just waiting for the opportune time to take you out.

I have high respect for folks who can pull off deep stealth, but nowadays, esp with the whole Patriot Act horsecrap and so on, covering your tracks completely is not only a pain, but feels nearly impossible.

I've been out of the normal employment pool for 15 years, much has changed. This is a good point to be discussing, especially the finer details, like credit history. Can your old history be kept but under the new name ? GAWD I hope so !! I would think that is possible as long as you contact the big credit companies ?? An awful lot goes on credit history now, definitely something to help correct - if possible....

[Katrina]

How can anybody possibly go stealth these days? I would think it would be next to impossible to eradicate enough of your past and at the same time fabricate a new one to stop any suspicion if you are trying to do anything like get a new job.

[Diane Elizabeth]

Sounds like one can't go stealth. Those handle your credit card acct, Previous employment, and even the governing bodies (city, county state and federal) all would have to be informed. I would rather move forward not have to lookgo back and inform all those peole. Then have to answer the same repeated questions of why? what? who? etc. etc..... It would get old mighty quick.

[Eriee]

He should have gotten a State photo ID. It only takes 30 mins at the DMV and about 12 bucks.