Nicole Erin
12-12-2009, 12:46 AM
"I am really nervous to do this. Shopping is hard but I get a rush. I almost got caught last night when the wife came home early so I went ahead and told her. It actually went well. So far I have just been to a couple drag clubs. No one knows I do this but my wife and a few drag friends. I am thinking of going out during the day en femme but where should I go and how to act? I just feel really sexy when dressed up. I worry when people look, what if they know?
That would have been my thread if it were summer of 1998 and I was here.
Pretty familiar stuff yeah?
Now fast forward to today.
Going out en femme is just the natural thing to do, pass or not. Shopping for women's things is no longer any kind of rush. I am too old to be sitting around in some drag club.
And for telling the wife? Well, she long knows of course and it is one of the factors that she said led to our coming separation/divorce (details still at work).
The fun gets replaced with normal life. The wife's "cool with it" finally got to be no more. Friends are far and few between. The feeling of sexy turned to "I better watch my back". The thought of "OH gyod they are staring and they know!" has become "Oh joy, some SOB can't mind his own business". :brolleyes: Family knows and "still loves me cause I am their brother/son/uncle..." yeah I know what they are REALLY thinking. "If only people knew" has become "if only people accepted".
So, newbies to the TG life, there is your answer. Being CD/TS starts out fun and adventures but can eventually consume your life once you step out of the closet. No it does not happen overnight but eventually you start having probems in life that you never even thought of before. Yes you start thinking, either knowingly or speculatively, that being TG is the cause of many other problems. Yes you do sometimes think of suicide.
The worst part is, you cannot just give up being who you are.
Stepping out of the closet is very fun at first, but you start getting hooked, want to push things, and before you know it, you become "her" in many ways. It is like a drug - fun at first but you become needy of it and eventually it ruins things in your life.
Back in the old MSN chat rooms back then, some of the TS women had warned me of all this. Hell I was 24, I knew everything, I didn't listen to them. So now, tho not much older, I guess I can warn other TG women who may or may not listen to me.
That would have been my thread if it were summer of 1998 and I was here.
Pretty familiar stuff yeah?
Now fast forward to today.
Going out en femme is just the natural thing to do, pass or not. Shopping for women's things is no longer any kind of rush. I am too old to be sitting around in some drag club.
And for telling the wife? Well, she long knows of course and it is one of the factors that she said led to our coming separation/divorce (details still at work).
The fun gets replaced with normal life. The wife's "cool with it" finally got to be no more. Friends are far and few between. The feeling of sexy turned to "I better watch my back". The thought of "OH gyod they are staring and they know!" has become "Oh joy, some SOB can't mind his own business". :brolleyes: Family knows and "still loves me cause I am their brother/son/uncle..." yeah I know what they are REALLY thinking. "If only people knew" has become "if only people accepted".
So, newbies to the TG life, there is your answer. Being CD/TS starts out fun and adventures but can eventually consume your life once you step out of the closet. No it does not happen overnight but eventually you start having probems in life that you never even thought of before. Yes you start thinking, either knowingly or speculatively, that being TG is the cause of many other problems. Yes you do sometimes think of suicide.
The worst part is, you cannot just give up being who you are.
Stepping out of the closet is very fun at first, but you start getting hooked, want to push things, and before you know it, you become "her" in many ways. It is like a drug - fun at first but you become needy of it and eventually it ruins things in your life.
Back in the old MSN chat rooms back then, some of the TS women had warned me of all this. Hell I was 24, I knew everything, I didn't listen to them. So now, tho not much older, I guess I can warn other TG women who may or may not listen to me.