I'm outing myself one step at a time.

[Brianna Kylee]

So ladies, over the past couple of months i have come out to 3 of my friends from college, now tonight I told a 4th friend, and all of them are so accepting and open minded. It really gets easier everytime. Hopefully it will go over well tomorrow, when i tell my mother. Yup i've decided tomorrow i will tell her. This is going to be the scariest moment of my life. I'll update if i can tomorrow. BUt in the mean time, for the girls who told there parents, how did it turn out? How hard was it to tell them?

[emmicd]

That's a big step and takes a considerable amount of courage because you never sure how it will go. I think however that maybe it is a step you may need to take.

It sounds positive that your friends accept it. Hopefully they will grow to appreciate you no matter how you dress.

I wish you well in revealing this to your mom. That is something I never had the chance to do and feel that I never fully opened up to my mom by keeping it a secret. We sometimes don't know what the right thing to do is but I applaude you for considering it.

Good Luck!

Emmi

[Clare]

I have thought long and hard about whether to reveal Chrsitine to my Dad.

He has had more than his share of personal upset in recent times - Mum died of Cancer and my youngest brother died from Suicide, so he is still getting over the loss of them.

I can't bring myself to tell him about Christine as i think it will bring on emotions of failure as a Father, which is something i don't want to burden him with. He is healthy for his age although lonely i think, so i probably won't reveal myself ever to him. It's possible that something will change in the future that may allow it to happen, but I don't thinks so.

I've wondered if i'm just using the above as an excuse, but my father's wellbeing and happiness in his retired lfe is far more importnat to me than letting Christine out of the closet - at least to him of all people.

Christine

[racquel]

I originally told both parents in a letter.My father has seen me after I had passed out but has never saw me "in all my splendor" before he died of cancer.
My Mom See's me dressed all the time when she visits as I spend a lot of time at home dressed.
She wishes she had known while I was younger as she feels that we would have become closer sooner.
I agree.

[emmicd]

For some it may be better to reveal to a parent or loved one when the time is right but for you Christina I couldn't agree with you more.

Sometimes it just may not feel right to tell a loved one.

Knowing your dad's situation it may not be a good idea to reveal it.

I'm sorry for your losses of your mother and brother.

Take good care.

Also for Almost Caught let us know how things turn out!

Emmi

[Wendy me]

i was always thinking of telling my mombut before i could she told me that she knew all along,.....

[RachelDenise]

I am so happy that your friends have accepted you. I can only hope that things go smoothly withn your mom as well. I have never directly told my mom but when younger and living at home she found my girl stuff and demanded I get rid of it. Never face to face but in a letter. I just hid it in another spot. I know she knows but probabvly has no concept about the extent or intent for that matter.

[Phoebe Reece]

I suggest you examine why you feel a need to "tell" before proceeding with it. I went through a period of doing that some 30 years ago. I found that even back in the 70's most people that I knew did not have a problem with my crossdressing. Some, however, would rather not have known about it. Looking back I think that my motives were simple enough - I wanted to be relieved of the burden of hiding it. I didn't do it to further the cause of crossdressers in general and I didn't do it because I thought anyone deserved to know the truth about me. It went very badly when I told my parents and eventually became a subject that my parents and I agreed never to discuss again. My wife defended me in front of my parents, but she eventually became very uncomfortable about my telling people and I stopped. I feel it is much more important to respect my wife's feelings about this than to do something that she feels strongly would cause her some embarrassment.

My current personal policy about "telling" is only do it on a need to know basis. Need to know, for me, is those that live in my house. My wife and son are the only ones living in my house with me and they both know, so there's no one else to tell. If someone accidentally finds out and brings up the subject, I won't deny it. But, I won't actively try to expose this side of me.

[Brianna Kylee]

thank you all for your replies. so heres the update...I didnt really get a chance to tell my mother face to face, because various people were in and out of my house today. Then she left for her boyfriends for the the night. so i wrote her an email. Most likely she'll read it tomorrow at work. I basically told her that i'm a crossdresser and i directed her to this site to get some understanding behind it. If she decides to ask me questions i'll be open 100% with her, i'm just sick of hiding this. My secret disrupts my sleep, its all i think about, so i wanted to just get it out there. I'll update again once she has read it.

[uknowhoo]

We'll be looking forward to hearing the update. Good luck!

[emmicd]

Yes, Good Luck! Let us know how it all turns out!

Emmi

[Jamie M]

Way to go , that's about the biggest step any of us can make , I wish you the best and can't wait to hear how it goes :hugs:

I didn't really have the option of when the found out , they sort of knew from an exceedingly early age ( i think i was about 7 ) . Dad always thought it was just a 'phase' mum didn't really talk about it much . To be honest I never did find out what they thought of it , it just kind of "was".

Anyway Good Luck :thumbsup:

[Mx Justina]

You can choose to subconsciously and (even simultaneously) consciously deny/ignore/distort yourself...which is what the "closet" represents...

Or, choose to be positive and live your life (before it runs out)...being honest and true to yourself.

Your hard choice to make.

J.

[Brianna Kylee]

Well she read the email this morning. And she replied. it all went well. She said i need to be myself and thats ok. then she asked a bunch of questions, like how long, was i serious, does my brother know, does anyone know, who's clothes. She ended the email with " I will always love you". So I'm out to my mom...and i don't think i could be happier.

[Julie]

Great news, I hope the recent progress on outing yourself continues.

Julie

[Tristen Cox]

Well she read the email this morning. And she replied. it all went well. She said i need to be myself and thats ok. then she asked a bunch of questions, like how long, was i serious, does my brother know, does anyone know, who's clothes. She ended the email with " I will always love you". So I'm out to my mom...and i don't think i could be happier.
It was much more difficult doing the face to face thing when I came out, talk about nerve racking. I'm very happy for you. Now you'll have that freedom you much deserved. One step at a time ;)

[Clare]

Sensational! That must be a special moment for both of you!

I hope that each of you can build on this and let your relationship become closer and stonger.

I'm so proud of you for your strength of character and conviction. You're an inspiration to long time XDR's like me.

You go girl!

Christine

[Adrianne]

I have thought long and hard about whether to reveal Chrsitine to my Dad.

He has had more than his share of personal upset in recent times - Mum died of Cancer and my youngest brother died from Suicide, so he is still getting over the loss of them.

I can't bring myself to tell him about Christine as i think it will bring on emotions of failure as a Father, which is something i don't want to burden him with. He is healthy for his age although lonely i think, so i probably won't reveal myself ever to him. It's possible that something will change in the future that may allow it to happen, but I don't thinks so.

I've wondered if i'm just using the above as an excuse, but my father's wellbeing and happiness in his retired lfe is far more importnat to me than letting Christine out of the closet - at least to him of all people.

Christine

I can't bring myself to come out to my dad as i lost my mom 5 years ago and know where you are comming from, i don't want to let my dad down, love him too much for that.

Adrianne.

[Adrianne]

So ladies, over the past couple of months i have come out to 3 of my friends from college, now tonight I told a 4th friend, and all of them are so accepting and open minded. It really gets easier everytime. Hopefully it will go over well tomorrow, when i tell my mother. Yup i've decided tomorrow i will tell her. This is going to be the scariest moment of my life. I'll update if i can tomorrow. BUt in the mean time, for the girls who told there parents, how did it turn out? How hard was it to tell them?

I wish you all the luck and hope everything goes well.

Adrianne.

[KittyKat GG]

Hey there, Almost.

Let me tell you from my persepcitive... My Daddy came out to me about his cross dressing a week ago, and he and I have never been closer. I know that a huge weight was taken off of your shoulders, and I can only hope that you and your mother can succeed in having as close a relationship as my father and I have. As long as she can accept you for who you are, then that's the ultimate test. Congratulations, and the best of luck to you!! :)

KittyKat

[Wendy me]

moms are greate i think if your happy and not hurting anyone that makes a mom happy...

[Krystal Lee]

I think my mother would have understood and been suportive but she passed away years before I came to grips with it my self. Best to you and maybe you can go out as girls shopping. I would have enjoyed that as mom had a great eye for clothing. Hugs Krystal.

[racquel]

Glad all came out well for you.I believe it is important that those who love us should have the opportunity to "Know" us, and since this is a part of us, it stand to reason that they need to be made aware of this.
My 2 cents.

[Holly]

Brianna,

I was away when you first posted this thread but I wanted you to know that I couldn't be happier for you that things have turned out so well. My daughter, KittyKat, has shared with you already how things have been between us since I came out to her. I know that not all of us "gurls" can have the luxury of supportive families. And that is indeed a sad thing. I myself will never know the support of a parent because I did not share this part of myself while they were still living... and I do regret it now.

[Khriss]

WoW , KittyKat, posting encouragement- I think it says alot, in terms of, personal character, ie: empathy and open mindedness! an aquired trait? -experience (un-jaded) and upbringing-I'm guessin' ( cudo's Holly!)
out to My - Dad- probably- never
- Mom found a tape of "Khriss" practicing-femme walking (self diagnosistic video) :rolleyes: - and some prancing in outfits ("K"s faves)' as Khriss wanted to see how "K" looked and moved, "dressed". She seemed- dumbstruck,, then replied - "You are realy quite beautiful" ,,,, "that way"......
that might sound like a good thing- but "that way" has- hmm (I don't know)
I'd add: I've taken care of Mom , ( bout of cancer ), and She's moved in w/me , though we have seperate space available, and perhaps because she gets stonger every day ( they put her in "Hospise" 2 yrs ago!), I refrain from dressing- so not to aggrivate her in any way- ,,, you see, as her Son -I'm one of the strongest people she knows- so-- small price perhaps- :( xx"K"

[Rachel Morley]

Recently I have been thinking about how my family (Parents and Brother/Sister in law) would react if I told them. I guess it's never going to be a real problem from a logistic point of view because I live in the US and they live in the UK.

I'm pretty sure my Mom would be accepting, my brother and sister in law would probably think I'm weird, but might just "go with the flow" but my Dad...oh dear, I don't think so. He'd shoot me dead if he saw me in a dress!

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Well, I personally think telling family isn't a must-do. Part of it depends on how close you are (geographically and emotionally) to them, how they'll react, and how often you need to dress.


I'm an intermittent dresser and in my case, Mom would probably be pretty accepting and my brother would probably think it a bit weird but won't freak out (although his wife might). But my brother and Mom live out of town, and I only see them face-to-face a couple times a year. And maybe I'm a private person, but I also don't feel the need to share every detail about my life. So consequently, I decided coming out to them wasn't worth the potential complications to my life and their's.

Coming out to an SO is obviously a different matter...