a crossover question...

[Sideways]

Its probably been asked before... but have any of you felt you've gotten more in touch with your masculine side through cd'ing?

I'm at a loss as to how to explain how I feel about that, but it is a place I stand.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I think that's probably true for me, or at least I have grown a better understanding of how I can be masculine instead doing so out of any attempt to overcompensate. For example, I personally have never been that into sports or DIY home improvement or auto type stuff, and I'm not going to be even with a pair of tights on. But, I think as I've grown to accept the feminine aspects of my personality, I also appreciate the masculine ones as well. I do enjoy the look of my face when it has a bit of scruff on it, I like holding my lady in my arms and feeling like she feels safe with me, and also, I really like the way I look in dressier men's clothes, including a tie. I was just saying the other day that one of the things i really want to do when I have the money for it, is to get a nice tailored suit.

[SuzanneBender]

Ohhh thats a tough question. I think crossdressing made me a better man by expanding my view of gender and realizing that no matter how I present I am who I am, but I can't say it got me more in touch with my masculine side. It just got me more intouch with me.

I still can't make a layup to save my life and it hasn't helped me learn to chug a beer or burp louder.

[Christina Horton]

I would have to say no for me. I find I am more Fem in male mode. So for me I am more girly and am proud of it.

[Sally2005]

Yes. I was always a bit shy. I overcame my fears related to CDing and a lot of the fear in my male life has also gone away. CDing caused me to do a lot of self evaluation and I think I understand who I am, a lot better than otherwise.

[Sideways]

If I was to break it down to the simple without my usual digressions, waxing, waning ... its feeling stronger as a 'woman' than as a man.

For me it just sort of mediates a balance.

Like to an affect of someone's tagline that "it takes a man to wear a dress"

In some of my venues (a little on the gothic side) I could just chump it up to the scene.

But there is a security, confidence that reassures my male identity and even supports, compliments my masculine identity - which in some ways is more of a journey for me than the other side,

and shaping my boundaries in my own questions of personal identity, gender and even sexuality to an extent.

Which to be honest I have often felt as if I was in drag when I'm in drab mode. But yet liking that scruff on my chin and being able to write in the snow.

And also sometimes to the bigger necessities... but still inane little questions, concerns, wondering and reaching for finding that safe place inside myself and trying to figure out where, how *I* fit in.

Its made me okay with the aspects of myself that aren't inherently recognized as male - which some go deeper than the surface level of social games. But those kind of gender concepts are something I've always had trouble grasping.

But I guess its also recognizing that its improved my way of relating to women and men, both intimately and socially.

Which doesn't necessitate having to choose - to be male, to be female ... where sometimes I do still feel some inner turmoil, the need for the greener grass of the other side, of being pulled to become one or the other.

Or back to the start of this thread, that the more I've moved into cd'ing than just bending, that yeah, the more in touch with my masculinity, male persona I've become. The more centered I've felt in defining some of the boundaries of who I am.

[aggi123]

Oh not even close to me. Since I've accepted this part of me (back in may when I joined) I havn't cut my hair, havn't worked out my arm muscles at all, and have been losing weight and muscle mass. I don't want any of it! lol

[KateW]

If anything, I almost feel like I am trying to pass as a guy when in drab mode. Its weird, but I can't hold a conversation about cars or football (they have never interested me) and I always worry that new people may be on to me because of my slightly feminized looks and interests.

[trisha254]

I have to say that I alway felt feminine,And do not have any idea how the male side of should act. I alway belived that men should not in any way downgrade women, And if they do ,should be made to feel the pain they have given ,{ note ] Maybe some of us Ladies can come up with a way for these so called male, who act in this manner to feel some of this pain,For myself I been more comfortable with female,Maybe this so called male side of me was taken away I,am one of the lucky girl. , this is my guest,

trish

[Sideways]

Oh not even close to me. Since I've accepted this part of me (back in may when I joined) I havn't cut my hair, havn't worked out my arm muscles at all, and have been losing weight and muscle mass. I don't want any of it! lol


if I wanted to open up a mixed bag I usually go out of my way to avoid as it instantly becomes the end all "ah ha!" so that's why I prefer pepsi over coke.

I'd have to go on TRT in order to better retain some muscle mass and maybe for losing fat with some weight - losing weight, no problem! While losing fat, even the trainer looks at me like I should have that thing aborted or get some lipo.

And there's a high probability that it would be beneficial to a degenerative condition I also have.. But frankly the idea kind of terrifies me.

Where on on side, I've been making peace with my male identity... there's still that conflict, fear of losing who I am, of losing the other parts of me or even the body I have - even with the various changes I'd make, if I could. It interrupts this delicate, still fragile sense of sanity, self I have.

That probably would have been a more entertaining question to ask, what would you do in a case like that.

Maybe I'll ask it eventually. Or stop resisting the urge to go post on how to modify a wetsuit into an adequate skintight body shaper fit for a slinky strapless dress, even with breast forms or finding out how other people match their forms to their skin tones when going out. Yeah, later.

[Kate Simmons]

It's mostly all about feelings to begin with, whether we admit it or not. We tend to limit ourselves and our thinking by breaking everything down into "masculine" and "feminine" traits and attempting to label or catagorize them. When it comes to being a real person the whole is really greater than the sum of it's "parts".:)

[Larissa Philips]

I'd have to say no. When going about my routines as Larissa, everything changes - even the little idiosyncrasies. There are even times where I forget I am male. If anything, it lets me view masculinity from a much different angle.

[Karren H]

I think I've reached a level where I'm not taking sides any more.. I like to do masculine things.... I like to do feminine things... Just not at the same time... :)

[Mary Morgan]

A better person yes, a better man?

[aggi123]

if I wanted to open up a mixed bag I usually go out of my way to avoid as it instantly becomes the end all "ah ha!" so that's why I prefer pepsi over coke.

I'd have to go on TRT in order to better retain some muscle mass and maybe for losing fat with some weight - losing weight, no problem! While losing fat, even the trainer looks at me like I should have that thing aborted or get some lipo.

And there's a high probability that it would be beneficial to a degenerative condition I also have.. But frankly the idea kind of terrifies me.

Where on on side, I've been making peace with my male identity... there's still that conflict, fear of losing who I am, of losing the other parts of me or even the body I have - even with the various changes I'd make, if I could. It interrupts this delicate, still fragile sense of sanity, self I have.

That probably would have been a more entertaining question to ask, what would you do in a case like that.

Maybe I'll ask it eventually. Or stop resisting the urge to go post on how to modify a wetsuit into an adequate skintight body shaper fit for a slinky strapless dress, even with breast forms or finding out how other people match their forms to their skin tones when going out. Yeah, later.


I'll leave my comments with a, "I'm very confused about my gender right now". Need to explore it some

[WendyMichelle]

I don't know about being a better male. I feel I have become more understanding, and more sensitive. I still like doing the male things just better

[meri]

You know, it's really interesting -- GG's that I know easily and gracefully move between what has classically been considered masculine activities and feminine activities. Case in point, I knew a gal who worked at a construction company. One day, she is dressed in workboots, jeans and an oxford shirt (button down, company colors and logo). She was headed out to a jobsite that day and was dressed for the visit.

Next day, she is dressed in a pretty skirt, frilly top, heels, lots of make-up. Just pretty and feminine all over...

Observations:
1 - what has been considered masculine and feminine need to be reevaluated. Women are into construction and high-risk sports like rock climbing and such.
2 - women have already achieved a nice balance between what we consider masculine and feminine. They have already "arrived".
3 - in the final analysis, women are humans, men are humans. There are obvious biological differences, but we are much more alike than we are different.

So, what's holding us back?

[suchacutie]

It appears that I've always been a bit complex (maybe confused!) in that I didn't fit most anyone's mold. I like many classically male activities including working outside, DIY house remodeling, many sports, dressing to the nines as a guy feels great, and I love being husband to my wife. The thing was that I also enjoyed many classically feminine activities and also softer parts of life. I enjoy romance in a soft way, firelight, candles, cooking, I crochet, etc. It was just very confusing.

Enter Tina

Now I have a place to separate and analyze who "we" are and it all makes so much more sense. I can look at the limits of my thoughts from the perspective of both genders. Here's one thing that was a real eye-opener: When I view an issue from each gender, the conclusions/perspectives DON'T necessarily match! So here I was thinking that it was just me who was not able to come to grips with certain ideas when all along it was just that I was looking at it from the perspectives of two genders with confusing results. Now that I know this is possible life has gotten much more understandable!!!

tina

[jenna_woods]

that's a good question and I would say no but not sure, will take more thinking

[minalost]

When in drab, or male mode, I do male things. When dressed I love to do fem things. Of course the definition of masculine and feminine activities is so subjective. Maybe we should all just say we like to do human things, and our moods decide what we happen to feel like doing today...

[Frédérique]

... but have any of you felt you've gotten more in touch with your masculine side through cd'ing?

I suppose there’s a good masculine side we can all tap into – it’s called gentlemanliness, and it’s a beautiful thing indeed. I wrote a thread about this a while ago (over in the FtM section), making a connection between ladylike and gentlemanly behavior. In the end, we are simply getting closer to the more caring, compassionate, understanding and loving individual inside all of us, regardless of gender. There are many ways of getting there, and this may be the “hard” way to do it, but we all benefit from bringing our more submerged selves closer to the surface …


It just got me more intouch with me.

Exactly. Well said, Suzanne…:hugs:

[trannie T]

It takes courage to go out dressed. Before I leave the house I have to 'man up' a little. Going out has helped to improve my self confidence making me a better man and a better woman.

[sherri52]

I've gotten more in touch with my femme side and thereby have noticed some changes while in male mode. These are for the better but doesn't make me feel more masculine.

[bridget jones]

I feel so feminine when I dress the only masculine that comes to mind is the man I am thinking about being with.

[Wallflower]

I do not under-dress while I am at work because I have an ongoing slow-burning conflict with another male coworker of mine. I find when I have on female attire I am a little more passive, and I can not afford that in the situation. Now I need to work on that so I can develop the confident female in me as well as I have developed the confident male, but the experience has shown me how confident of a person I am, even if only in male persona.

[Rachel Morley]

Have I gotten more in touch with my masculine side through cd'ing? ... err ... no. Getting "in touch with" to me, means "getting closer to" or "embracing it more" and I can honestly say that if anything, the more I dress and spend time in girl mode the less "I bond" with my guy side. Maybe that's just me, but that's how it is. I don't dislike my guy side or anything, it's just that I don't like to dwell for too long on that fact that I am actually a male person.