How meds change so much

[helenr]

I realize that after the effects of estrogen and anti androgens kick in and recalibrate the brain as well, that so much of 'crossdressing' or 'transvestism' seems irrelevant. I read about 'corsetting' and while I don't fault anyone for undergoing this torture, I wonder what the heck for. The volume of replies to 'what color panties are you wearing' reveals the preoccupation with this by so many non transgendered on the overall website. I don't think that-despite the Victoria's Secret images- most women give much thought to what underwear they have on-just so long as it's clean! I think the 'sexy stuff' however the current designers suggest it to be-is to just to arouse the boyfriend.
I still prefer to wear everything female I can,but no longer have any interest in firm control girdles, etc. This tells me-at least for my crazy mind-that the Testosterone has always been the ignitor in what was fetish driven transvestism.This is just my situation-I don't mean to condemn anyone else.
I haven't had any 'sexual urges' in some time and feel so at peace with this state of mind. Maybe I have lost some 'energy' from the lessened T (my ' total' is around a genetic female's) but much of it was frantic frustration type of energy that was unproductive and actually self hurtful.
In an odd way I do feel sorry for members who are stuck where I was for so many years with the constant linking of crossdress,masturbation, and the super risky business of making contacts for 'anything and everything' as one sees on some websites-best to delete. Being intergendered finally has brought calm and peace.

[carolinoakland]

For me, the thing I was always more interested in was how would HRT make me feel. How would my response's change? One of the most impactfull incidence's was when I got into a shouting match with this idiot on a load out. He chanllenged me and got up in my face yelling and screaming and I told him right off! And it wasn't until the next day that I realized that for the first time in my life that I didn't have that adreneline spike! No 'fight or flight" feeling, wow! Hormones have had that effect, for all the talk about how emotional some get on hormones, I think other things are going on there. Hormones don't 'make' me more emotional. I feel much more deeply, but how you hadle these things is what matters. I honestly want to shake the one's who wail at how they didn't "know" that the hormones where going to make them "this'' emotional. Huh? What do you think natal women do when there hormones flare up? THEY. DEAL. WITH.IT.LIKE. WOMEN. So I ask them, ''is you is? or is you isn't?" Ok, offa my soapbox now! Carol
PS. which is not to say that having the 'girls' for real IS really cool at last! <smirk>

[Sharon]

That's all terrific, Helen, as long as you realize that transsexuals come with every type of personality there is with all the assorted tastes and clothing preferences.

Personally, my tastes in clothing really haven't changed since long before hormones and transitioning. When I was younger I preferred more youthful and "sexy" styles, but ever since I finally opened my eyes to the fact that I'm not so youthful anymore, I have leaned more towards comfort, though I still dress fairly feminine.

And HRT be damned (three years next month), I still have urges..., though they are currently unsated. :)

[Scotty]

2 years, B cup breasts, 39" hips - I have a femme body - but I still enjoy wearing female clothing as it accents my body now.

But there are times I cannot, be it a busy schedule or wh atnot.

I wear female jeans, panties, and some T-shirts to work, hair is femme again so that sufficies for me.

To dress up in a skirt, around here with no where to go - doesn't happen as often, maybe because I am not going out in public...and I have someone to spend time with.

But the "urge" diminishes, especially when my brain already considers me female, and most of my clothes are female...I have one male pair of jeans.

[helenr]

thanks for all the thoughtful comments.

[Hope]

I suppose I understand where you are coming from. Personally I have this weird relationship with the fetishists... I simultaneously envy them, and grow annoyed by them, and don't care one bit about them. I don't care about them, because, frankly - it's their fetish, and good for them, they should enjoy it - it is fun and harmless for them. I am annoyed by them because they sometimes do things publicly (which they have EVERY right to do) that put the rest of us in a questionable light with the rest of the world. And sometimes I envy them - because life would be SO MUCH EAISER if I could just slip into a silky cami and jerk off and be satisfied; but instead I am left with a much more constant, all encompassing, and threatening reality.

As I am not yet doing hormones it is hard for me to say that my feelings about dressing won't change when I am on them - but ... dressing isn't about sexual anything now - it is about being in the world as a woman, it is about being perceived as a woman, it is about living as a woman. I can't imagine that would change on hormones. Though is is also important to keep in mind that women are sexual beings... Whether or not you believe that women wear sexy underthings for the boyfriend or not - it is important to remember that most women buy their own underthings, and wear them even when they don't expect that the boyfriend will see them - often because it makes them feel sexier about themselves.

[Lauren1973]

As I am out trying to find a job as Lauren ...I can say I am having to overcome alot of preconceived notions that people come up with from what they have seen of us from Jerry Springer. I just hope that all the ladies understand that some of us do this ....And we are going to LIVE this for the rest of our lives and when in public please make us proud!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Helen... i hear you on that awful cycle....its one of the ways that i think alot of us coped with our shame and guilt (and testosterone). ..the first part of my HRT and transition was about this...releiving the terrible suffering I was going through,....and I was amazed at how well it worked... but there is so much more

Lauren

I am right there with you. Although I'm not working yet, I'm negotiating with my company in the hope i can go back (less than 50/50), when I went into the office i bumped into many people that I know and I approached all of them to say hi...and i stayed confident and positive the whole time...in fact, i felt pride and made sure that those people (whatever they decided about me later) knew that I was just a normal professional woman...with a past.heh
Tomorrow I'm going in at 830 am (starting time), so I bet I see alot more folks.

Prior to starting transition, I could not imagine doing this... It takes time being yourself to realize that you are OK

i have job interviews next week on Wall Street in Manhattan, and although I think some of these are just out of courtesy...i am carrying the flag up there and everyone that meets me is going to know that I'm just as normal as them

This concept of gender reassignment is so incomprehensible to most folks that I beleive that unless a person actually meets and talks to one of us, then all the activism in the world won't do a thing....btw its not their fault...it really is a concept that makes no sense to folks and so they were raised on all the lurid stories and shows about us and they have no way of knowing that all we are doing is trying to get for ourselves what 99.99% of people have for free and totally take for granted......