I've Outed myself...let's see what happens

[Paula Siemen]

Last night, I attended a Christmas party of some not so close friends as my feminine self. It actually, once I arrived went pretty well. The host is a gay man, that is a friend of another (non-attached) gay man that my wife and I know pretty well. The friend has been very involved in some of our family events and is a very helpfull and supportive person that both I and my wife love as a dear friend.

Anyway, my wife was out of town for a short holiday visit to her sister, but said that I should go to the party by myself. We have gone to parties at the host's home on several occations and the parties are always a lot of fun with a lot of food and alcohol. The crowd is predominantly gay men. My wife is fully aware of my crossdressing and tolerates it, rarely participates in it and often makes some jokes or issues of it when she is pissed off at me (often).


Soooo, what was I to do? Going to a gay men's Christmas party felt pretty wierd for me. Neither the host or our common friend knew of my crossdressing, I thought. Thus I expected my debue as Paula would make an impact. I debated whether to attend or just pass on the party, but finally Paula took control and I left the house at 10:00 pm with Paula telling me, "What were you thinking? Do you realise how long its been since I've been out to a party? I need to wear this little red party dress I bought last year. Don't be such a stick in the mud."

I found myself parking the car and walking to the front door of the host's home, gaining confidence as I took each step. I opened the door and walked in. Our friend immediately saw me and just treaed me as any other guest arriving, not batting an eye but taking my shawl and purse and stashing them in the coat closet. I was offered drinks and food and I just felt wonderful. So fem and so accepted, although one guy kept picking up my skirt to look at my panties ( I was weaering a waist cincher with a thong).

I stayed till almost everyone was gone and virtually forgot I was wearing anything abnormal. I felt so feminine. The host finally recognised me. Our friend commented that he was surprised, but had no idea that I wore ladies clothes and was a bit puzzled by it, but figured, oh well. I stated that I was a certified crossdresser.

Now....where will this go? What will get said back to my wife? Will the party goers just keep it to themselves as though there was nothing unusual? Will my wife go balistic when she finally hears about it? I'm waiting for the fallout.

Merry Christmas to all,
Paula

[aggi123]

One of the first things I said to my brother when I told him was, "I hope i'm not going to regret this." It all worked out great though. I can't help but think of this when I read your story. It sounds like you had a wonderful time though! Will your wife get really mad if she finds out you went as paula?

[karen68]

Well done Paula I think your wife will be ok, as she already knows and probably expected you might go enfem, not that I know her but going on what you have said she probably would. I expect you will get a few freinds that will be a bit strange with you now, but hey ho live it girl. Merry Xmas:hugs:

[Karren H]

Kind of sounds like "I just gave myself H1N1.. Lets see what happens"? Lol. Wive do not like surprises especially when it comes to crossdresising.. In my humble opinion. Hope it works out for the best..

[LisaM]

Paula,

It sounds like fun but I'm with Karen---I hope your SO is ok with it.

[Rachel Morley]

I stated that I was a certified crossdresser. Where did you get your certification? .... I want one too :D

Seriously though, I hope your wife doesn't go ballistic ... ballistic wives are never a good thing :worried: As the friends are as you put it "some not so close friends" I doubt your wife will say much but it could be a problem if some of the not so close friends are also friends of some other friends that re closer to you ... if they tell those friends you could potentially be in a sticky situation. Lets hope not.

[Paula Siemen]

Its all about connections. I didn't mention it in my post, but I am also currently unemployed. The secret to gaining re-employment is establishing connections however necessary and wherever they come to get to those persons responsible for making hiring decisions. With this knowledge and some absolutely unexpected experiences with "connections", I have come to be a believer in networking and making any connection possible. Still unemployed tho.

I was not seeking connections at the party and certainly not for employment oppertunities. But the uncanny aspections of how connections do work, gossip, grapevine, telephone game, etc. it really is a bit spooky trying to predict the final outcome of last nights comming out experience.

Fortunately, very few persons at the party other than our friend and the host actually know me, or for that matter are concerned about me, so the gossip value is little. It just would likely be the casual comment made by those that did know me to my wife..."Your husband certainly looks good in a dress"; "I can't believe how well your husband walks in heels." etc.

Oh well, you just get tired of the hiding games, the dual personalities and the double lives. I kinda wish that everyone just knew about Paula and the issue was over. Like her/me or don't. I can take it from there.

[Sally2005]

Something like that...as soon as your wife gets home you are supposed to say...guess what I did! and spill the beans! If she finds out later it is like you are keeping a secret.

Good plan though,... not too much worry about guys trying to pick up your male self!

[Shelly Preston]

I hope it all goes well for you Paula

I hope you wife has prepared herself that this could happen, as it may make things easier

You never know what might throw up job opportunities

[Sharon B.]

I'm doing something like along the lines today.
I have some boarders(board their horses) and I have been wanting to get dressed to the nines so to speak.
Well today is the day I am in all of my feminine attire and it feels so wonderful being dressed as a woman.
The point is they haven't shown up yet, but when they do there is one I used to go out with and she thinks she can walk right in but that isn't happening today.
Should she email me or call me later I am going to tell her that an old friend came by to visit and we didn't want to be disturbed.
But if she does show up and she is one of the last to leave, she may get a view of myself dressed as a woman.

[Christina Horton]

SO how'd it go Hun. It's been allmost a month. Did you tell your wife right away , or is the reason you have not updated us cuz she found out and killed you. In witch case your excused from updating us Hun. Lol. I think when she said you should go she hoped you'd go dressed. My reason for thinking that is she figered if you going to do the CD thing Do it in a safe place. And since she could not go.....she would not see you sad if it went bad. Congrats Hun it sounded like fun. I would have slaped the guy lifting my skirt cuz you don't do that to a lady >( but that's me. Unless you don't go out all the time and it's a halloween party and your first or so time out and it's like a " joke " then ok. But you don't take that kind of liberty with me. I'm a lady not a play thing or a lady of the evening....regaurdless on how I like to dress.
Dam I sound like every women I have seen on springer. Lol.

I think I just insalted myself. Rolf.

[sherri52]

I'm glad you had fun at the party. I like the other girls hope your wife takes it ok. Wives can get a little ticked about others knowing of our dressing.

[Christina Horton]

Come on hun we need an-update!!!

[Paula Siemen]

Welllllllllllllllllll Christina,
As it turned out the friend was having another holiday gathering at his home the following Monday evening with a mix of some other friends and the host of the previous party (these guys party alot!). At first it looked as though my wife would not be back in time, but then she called and indicated she would be back. OMG!!!

I emailed the friend that I and my wife, "BUT NOT PAULA" would be able to attend and that I would appreciate it if "Paula" was not mentioned. These two guys are great as the evening went off without any mention of Paula or any other comments regarding my alter-ego.

I imagine that eventually, Paula will be mentioned and the ice broken regarding my debut at the party, but I'm hoping that it having passed for several months with no indication of problems or issues effecting my wife or her relations with our friends will make it pretty much a non-issue. Maybe then, Paula will get to go to many more parties. I can only hope.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Welllllllllllllllllll Christina,
These two guys are great as the evening went off without any mention of Paula or any other comments regarding my alter-ego.

I imagine that eventually, Paula will be mentioned and the ice broken regarding my debut at the party, but I'm hoping that it having passed for several months with no indication of problems or issues effecting my wife or her relations with our friends will make it pretty much a non-issue. Maybe then, Paula will get to go to many more parties. I can only hope.

I have to say I worry about the potential ramifications this will have on the future for you. Not only are you deceiving your wife, but you are also willfully including your mutual friends in the deception. Do you really think that a few months will make this better for her? If anything I think it could make it far, far worse because not only will she have had you perpetuate an elaborate withholding of information, but she will feel somewhat foolish to know that a large group of people and specifically friends of yours have also been keeping this from her.

Remember that often the biggest problem when one comes out to their SO isn't the crossdressing as much as it is the significance of the deception and what it says about the lack of trust present in the relationship.

It's your life to live of course but I think you're setting yourself up for a big problem.

[Nicole Erin]

So the friends had no problems.
Of course there is always the chance of the wife finding out but somehow I doubt the friends really care how you dress. Even with the whole internal GLBT fighting that we hear about, gay men really don't make a big deal out of someone being TG.
Your friends probably don't even think about it.

The only time you might need to worry is if you run into problems with this group cause for some reason even "accepting" people want to put us TG down in a fight, just to get a cheap shot in.

So, stay on good terms with them and nothing should ever come of it.

If your wife does find out, it may not og over so bad. Just be like "Oh come on, it was mostly gay men, they don't care if a man CD's..." or "It didn't even cross my mind that how I dressed would matter"

But if she does learn of this, then *she* might be the one insisting that you go to parties en femme. If so, be prepared to have her picking out your dress. I know it is rough but you will survive :)

Hey wait - I just noticed - she said to go by yourself, I would bank that she pretty much figured you would go en femme. If you have read some of the other ladies' posts here, sometimes the wife will imply more-less that the husband have some "femme time".

Final verdict - you are making a bigger deal out of things than what they are. In fact, I bet you are the last person to know that you were going to go to that party en femme. Everyone else knew it before you so, look on the bright side. ;)

[JamieOH]

I'm kind of with Jike Turkey on this one... I think by not telling her that you went En-Femme, it could be made far worse.. especially by keeping it a secret, because now she will have to wonder WHY was it kept a secret.. WHY did these gay men and my husband feel the need to hide this from me? Was there more to this than just him going as "Paula"? This is not good.. you dont want to break that trust barrier.. ESPECIALLY when you are tryin to work out this whole thing of you dressing as a women, and her tryin to come to terms with it.. I dunno.. Just seems a bit dicey to me..