If a picture is worth a thousand words; what does your's say about you?

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?

[Sherlyn]

I've never once posted a pic :hiding::whistling:

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Are your pants on fire?

[Sherlyn]

:rolleyes: Nooooooo but my nose is actin weird ...gettin longer me thinks :) and I don't think i can get 1000 words in this little box

[Wendy me]

i would just say this is me ...oh kew the inside picture thingy is a x ray............

[KewTnCurvy GG]

i would just say this is me ...oh kew the inside picture thingy is a x ray............
Okay, then who is you? And are you able to step outside yourself to see yourself more objectively and ask honestly, what impression must other's get of me?

[Tristen Cox]

Well Kew you look like a flower, I'm having a hard time figuring you out as a gerber daisy :p

[Sherlyn]

Lmaoooo Tris ,,u better hide now AND I will join you :hiding:

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Well Kew you look like a flower, I'm having a hard time figuring you out as a gerber daisy :p
Ha ha ha, hmmmmm! True! Right now. I think mine says, somewhat cute, approachable, profoundly intelligent yet humble :lol: !

Come on grrlz. Try. Try to look at your photo and honestly say, who you see in the picture and if it's what you want it to say.

[Wendy me]

Okay, then who is you? And are you able to step outside yourself to see yourself more objectively and ask honestly, what impression must other's get of me?


girlfreind step out side myselfe??? i think so yes i am more happy and balanced as wendy mutch more for the better....what impression must other's get of me? that depends on wether you want to take the time to know me ...witch manny would be quite pelesenty supprized ...but if passing judgement without getting to know me well their loss big time....

[Rachel Ann]

I think that what others think my pics say about me is more important than what I think. We all know what is paved with good intentions. :p

I just try to be elegant, age-appropriate and nice-looking. Sexy is good but not essential.

Rachel

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Oh dear god! Apparently the point of my thread is falling to deaf ears! Eeeek gad, anyone have a splintered ruler, I need to whack myself again.

[Tristen Cox]

Yes mine is to answer your question; someone smart(assed), pretty(sexy), smiling(cause I'm looking at a naked picture of yeh who shall remain nameless), and proud(cause that's not the only thing that was naked :eek: )

[KewTnCurvy GG]

girlfreind step out side myselfe???
Yes, try to look at your picture as though it isn't you. See it objectively.

i think so yes i am more happy and balanced as wendy mutch more for the better
Okay, so how or where is that reflected in your photographs? Does Wendy look happy and balanced?

....what impression must other's get of me? that depends on wether you want to take the time to know me...witch manny would be quite pelesenty supprized ...but if passing judgement without getting to know me well their loss big time....
What I raise is an honest and VALID question. Again, does your photo reflect the image you want it to and who is that person in the image? How might you be perceived as others? You can say what you want Wendy, but WE ALL JUDGE ppl everyday based on what they wear or don't wear; how they present themselves.

[Laurie Ann]

I believe that the pictures I have posted are attempting to show to the outside world what I feel like on the inside. What others think is not important to me. My need to express my feminine side is more important than what others think.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

I believe that the pictures I have posted are attempting to show to the outside world what I feel like on the inside.
YES! Of course.

What others think is not important to me.
BS! If it wasn't, you wouldn't post them I don't think. Now, DO NOT FAIL to understand what I say here. So maybe you are confident of who you are and am proud of your pictures. However, I would not believe one soul here who says they don't care what other's think. Seriously, give me a break. TG's/CD's are some of the most sensitive ppl I have ever met in my entire life and are quite affected by the words, thoughts and opinions of others.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

mine might say ; poor thing, Whats it like to have a ........
badhairlife! ??? :(
Awwwwww, well I don't think that. I think your hair is lovely! :)
So, care to say more.....we're listening:)

[Toyah]

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?

Common your avatar is fraudian right GG an flower, I mean really. My pictures say this is the best I can do at the moment period!

[Wendy me]

Yes, try to look at your picture as though it isn't you. See it objectively.

Okay, so how or where is that reflected in your photographs? Does Wendy look happy and balanced?
i would say yes some were in there is someone that is happy

What I raise is an honest and VALID question. Again, does your photo reflect the image you want it to and who is that person in the image? How might you be perceived as others? You can say what you want Wendy, but WE ALL JUDGE ppl everyday based on what they wear or don't wear; how they present themselves.

i would say at the time i took this photo in my avator i was who i wanted to be..yes we all judge people ok look at my picture i am no way passable but thats ok outhers might say oh i can pass better than she can and oh you can never do this or that...but to me that dosen't matterand i know your going to say b.s. but i spent way too mutch time in my life thinking about what outhers thought so now i just do what i want....and i also spent a fair amount not giveing a rats as_ what anyone thought ....now more middle ground......

[Deborah]

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?

I can never seem to make my pictures say what i want them to. Inside i'm happier and feeling normal while dressed up. What others see i can only guess. Everyone compliments my pictures so i'm assuming that i look as good as i possibly can.

[Julie]

All the pictures I've posted properly reflect how I was feeling at the time it was taken, which always includes happy. But since all the pictures are of me dressed and I can never remember a time I wasn't happy when dressed, I guess portraying a happier person in my pictures is expected. I have heard other members comment on me looking content and relaxed, both feelings I also experience when dressed.

Other than that, I have no idea how my pictures are read.

[Mandy Salamander]

haven't really posted many pics on this forum, yet,,sorry 'bout that,,,and really don't know what they'd say,,, probably something like,,"49 year olds shouldn't wear something like that",,,

[Gina Lima]

My pics say what I feel. I like to dress as how I feel inside. I want to be sexy, yet pretty and show off my best features. I feel more comfortable wearing short skirts since my legs are my beauty point.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Common your avatar is fraudian right GG an flower, I mean really. My pictures say this is the best I can do at the moment period!
Sorry Sweety, I did have my avatar there forever. I will change it once again. Really should get a new one :) But, touchee, nonetheless!

[Inredsatin]

I dont post many pics as I feel that most of you look better than I can ever possibly achieve. The ones that I have posted I feel like they do show the happier inside me
Brenda

[Rachel Ann]

Oh dear god! Apparently the point of my thread is falling to deaf ears! Eeeek gad, anyone have a splintered ruler, I need to whack myself again.OH OK, go ahead and whack me instead. But why is what I said so wrong? Other peoples' feelings and impressions are always more important than our own. Arent they?

[Stephanie Brooks]

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?
I think my pictures say I enjoy life. I think mostly they're positive, they show someone who takes care of herself, who is neat and organized without being fastidious. I think they show someone who is fun. I think they respect women, and are respectful to everyone in the forum, members and visitors alike.

That's what I want to show, and I think that's what my pictures say about me.

Do they truly reflect what's on my inside? I think of my photos as a metaphor to music. With music you get themes, if not a complete story. Likewise with photos, you get elements of the story without the story itself. I think my pics are a good reflection. Even when I choose avatars that are not my own photos, they reflect what's inside me, values, aspirations, and moods.

Does that make sense Kew? Did I answer it for you?

[Jen_TGCD]

If a picture is worth a thousand words; what does your's say about you?

Mine say: :eek: OMG>>> There's a heavily retouched photo of a guy trying to look like an old lady!!! :rolleyes:

Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?
No way! I'm young and gorgeous... in my minds eye! However, I always try to smile... because that is the real me ! ! !

What do you want them to say?
That I am Transgender... a male2female crossdresser... that I enjoy being here... and I'm thrilled that I have learned to hide some of the testosterone and can look and feel, at least a little bit, like a woman!

TG's/CD's are some of the most sensitive ppl I have ever met in my entire life and are quite affected by the words, thoughts and opinions of others.
Ya... for the most part, that's probably true. Generally, minorities have self-esteem issues and any encouragement and empowerment helps to get though this life of duality and deception. Even the rage that shows up, now and then, is based in the frustration of years of repression. We are overly complimentary to each other because we know how every step we take makes us feel so much better. :o We also know which buttons to push if we want to "bash" someone.

I like the avatar pics, the most, even if it is a drawing or some cute movie star. They really say the most about the person.

[Amanda Leigh]

good god girl you need more make up to cover that much ugly....I think that sums it up :lol:

[Rachel Ann]

Does that make sense . . . Did I answer it for you?
All I can tell you Stephanie is that all of your pictures - real or fanciful - told me that you were somebody I wanted to get to know better. (Well, your words had a lot to do with it as well. :))


HEY KEW! Good Av! Now if I could only get you to use the portrait in your profile. ;)

[JoannaDees]

My latest avatar says PictureIt9! has good editing stuff! Either that or I'm kinda blurry all the time ... shut it Tristen!

[Sherlyn]

Rachel ....now don't be saying HEY KEW! Good Av! Now if I could only get you to use the portrait in your profile.
I just told her how much I adore that 1 !!!!!!!!

[Jenny Beth]

To me my pic says the grass is greener on the other side and I choose to explore. Life's too short to keep saying "I wish" or "I should have". My pic says I have rid myself of guilt and shame that so often follows those like me. My pic says, "That's me".

[Ava Mouse]

Kew,

Pictures... Do they reflect what's inside? hmmm... Tough question...

I've always said that how a Crossdresser dresses reveals what he REALLY thinks of women. I wonder what GG's think of Ava's presentation sometimes... ;) (PM me with your thoughts... I'm curious...)

From a GG's point of view, we must seem the most sexest group of people on the planet. Obsessed with sexy women's lingerie, hose, panties, poses and short leather skirts... Things that many women avoid, simply because *some* men treat women like sex objects when dressed up.

On the other hand, other men treat well-dressed women with respect and dignity. We love our women dressed nicely, and miss the days when women knew how to tease and mess with our minds...

Anyway, to your questions...

What are the pictures saying of me (Ava)? I think they say Ava is a clean, yet flirty fictional female character that enjoys expressing (my interpretation of) feminity...

What do I want them to say? When people see my pics and read my posts, I want them to think, "That may not be a GG, but he's damn near close. I respect him for trying AND respecting women, while not mocking them."

Do they truly reflect what's inside? Not sure, Kew... We've chatted online, and you've read my posts... What do YOU think?

I may have feminity all wrong, and most of us here probably do have it all wrong. We're imitating our interpretation of femininity, yet most of us won't even act the REAL feminity part. The part where we connect, communicate and think femininely. (See the "What is femininity?" thread.) There's more to femininity than the scanty clothes, though many here think that's all there is to being a woman, just sex appeal.

While I think that's sad, how much closer are we going to get? Are macho men going to even lift a finger to understand femininity? I think we CD's are a lot less shallow than perceived. We may not understand it, BUT we try. We're the ultimate GENTLEMAN, I think...

[Fiona K]

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?

Maybe not lots of pix but a few I suppose........

But what do they say about me or who I am?? Whew, not too sure. Onething is for definite they are the only pics of me I like! Is that the old narccisistic thing again? They reflect a significant part of me, they show what I'd like to be free to be and reflect the femininity that pervades me.

How's that for a non-commital answer?

Fiona
xx

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Wow! So many great responses! Julie, Stephanie and Ava's especially. Exactly what I was looking for. I guess, as a GG and the partner of a TG, that I sometimes have a difficult time understanding exactly what a TG is trying to communicate with their image. Sometimes TG's post sexy, trampy, trashy pictures but then say they want to be perceived as not ****ty. So, to me, that's incongruent with what they post. Also, sometimes TG's seem to be caught up in more of the superficial aspects of what may comprise a woman and less interested in the aspects of substance. What you spoke to Ava, "The part where we connect, communicate and think femininely."
Thanks, keep posting grrlz! And for the record, Ava, I think you do a fine job of conveying the image you say you are trying to convey, ditto for several of you other grrlz (such as Julie and Stephanie:)).

[Stephanie Mancini]

Hopefully my pics express the nice girl i'am, all in all a neat little package



Steph

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Here's an example of gender difference:

http://n3t.net/humor/menwomen.jpg

[KewTnCurvy GG]

My impression, Sharon, is down-to-earth and genuine, feminine but not overly; the grrl next door:). How close is that?

[Gemma]

:eek: :eek: :eek:

[Rachel Ann]

OK, now that I've been properly admonished, here's what my pictures are trying to say about me:


Rachel is my best self

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v81/NoodlesRomanoff/1rachel059.jpg


She is dignified but sexy and can be playful

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v81/NoodlesRomanoff/HPIM3501.jpg


She would never dream of dressing inappropriately for the situation

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v81/NoodlesRomanoff/xAnticipating.jpg


OK?

[cindybarnes]

Yep, its a fair question Kew,
Not that each pic I post is supposed to make a statement but hopefuly it would be that this is more than just wearing panties and a bra for temp thrills.


No way to know what others may think about them tho, it depends why they are looking in the first place I guess.


Yes I think somehow my pics reflect whats inside somewhat but regardless of what some may think im not just a shallow photo tramp,,,, Im a complex one :)


Cindy

[Jamie M]

Yes I think somehow my pics reflect whats inside somewhat but regardless of what some may think im not just a shallow photo tramp,,,, Im a complex one :)


Cindy

I think you may have hit the nail on the head there . I've been trying all morning to try and put it into words.

Would i be right in saying that for most of us we try to take ourselves seriously and would like to be seen as such but every once in a while we feel we've taken ourselves TOO seriously and that's when the trampy phots come about , just to show that we can still have fun ?

Or am i completely off the mark :hiding::whistle:

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Again, just asking for illucidation. Most of you probably wouldn't want me to say what I think because I think your photos seem sometimes incongruent with what you say you value in women or in yourself. So, I get confused. I asked an honest question, not trying to activate defense mechanisms, just trying to get some of you to perhaps explain yourselves better. You want acceptance? You want tolerance? You want more understanding or better understanding? So, here's one of your chances to communicate with the ever growing GG population and whomever else may see these posty's.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

.....we feel we've taken ourselves TOO seriously and that's when the trampy phots come about , just to show that we can still have fun ?

Exactly! This is what I'm talking about though! I see thread and then discussion after ad-nauseum discussion about prim and proper this and that; then, sometimes (note this is the operative word) the same ppl who get on the bandwagon and say "how dare someone be lewd!"'; "how dare someone be provocative"; "how dare someone by ****ty and crass" stone the one who is! Also, as Ava said so beautifully and helpfully for me, there is this 2-dimensional nterpretation of a woman that leaves out other nuances (okay, not her words but mine and my interpretation). Well, when the visual picture is filled in but the content is the same; then I get confused again. So, again, I'm asking for help in understanding all of you a bit better. Enlighten us GG's and other admirers!

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

YES!

I AM a fairy, DAMMIT!
:D

Like I told Marla, the pointy ears are hidden under all the hair...
LOL!

[Tristen Cox]

I'll vouche for Pattie, infact I've seen them! :p :whistle:

[joni-alice]

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?
Dear Rumdroll,
What do you think each of our pictures say\?

[KewTnCurvy GG]

I think I've answered that if you read what I've written. I'm saying that for some of you I see a huge incongruency in what you say you want to portray and what you do portray. I also frequently see pictures that lack substance (being bold facedly honest here kids), in that there is clearly a feminine looking image but with little content. Rarely hear you grrlz talking about what is going on inside that feels/is feminine. (Btw, I've broached this subject before, I'm just launching a more determined effort as I truly want to understand you grrlz better!) Sometimes the pictures are provocative and trampy. Not that I have a problem with that personally but when you laud the values of being a 'prim and proper grrl' out there, it seems to fly in the face of that and you end up with egg on your face.

Does that answer your question? And no I"m not going to comment on anyone's picture other than what I can say posittively. I'm not trying to make personal attacks or hurt ppl, just trying to get you grrlz (for some of you) out of your male brains and explain yourselves better. K?

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

I'll vouche for Pattie, infact I've seen them! :p :whistle:
Hey...
:shh:

LOL!!!

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

This post has not gone as it should have, but I think it was a great post/try anyway Kew.

For those that actually thought about Kew's question and answered as best you could...
Thank you so much for the insight and giving us, (GG"S) the chance to know you better...



:hugs:

[KewTnCurvy GG]

This post has not gone as it should have, but I think it was a great post/try anyway Kew.

For those that actually thought about Kew's question and answered as best you could...
Thank you so much for the insight and giving us, (GG"S) the chance to know you better...



:hugs:
Thanks Pattie! I'm glad I'm making sense to someone (and clearly there are others, too!). Just trying to understand:), get a better appreciation for and all.

[Stephanie Brooks]

And Rachel Ann, I see - in photos, posts, and PMs - someone who is intelligent and classy. ^_^

[Jamie M]

Thanks Pattie! I'm glad I'm making sense to someone (and clearly there are others, too!). Just trying to understand:), get a better appreciation for and all.

I think you are making sense and it's a very thought provoking subject that you have touched on , it's just that I'm afraid my thoughts generally don't work that fast ;)

But seriuosly i think you're right , it is a thought that each one of us should take a few moments over every now and again . To look inside ourselves and see what's really there

And once we've done that , go and play in the back yard :cool:

[Natalie x]

What I raise is an honest and VALID question. Again, does your photo reflect the image you want it to?
(before you tear all your hair out, Kew ... ) No, but it's the nearest I can get with the materials I'm using


who is that person in the image?
I think it's my mother


How might you be perceived as others?
Hmmm, at best, as someone's granny

Thanks for a good idea for a challenging thread

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

No problem, Kew.

I too have been following, reading and hoping to do the same.

I really thought when I read this post, more of the Ladies here, would take advantage of the opportunity to express themselves.
:strugglin

But anyway, like I said...
To the one's that did express themselves? Thank you...

[Marla GG]

Hi Ava,

You asked for GG opinions on your feminine presentation, and I was going to PM you, but then I thought that what I had to say might be a valid contribution to this thread so I'll say it publically.

I for one have always admired the thought that you put into your pictures, the effort to capture a particular mood or feeling. I think your emphasis on that--on trying to communicate emotion in your photos--is very non-masculine and it appeals to me. What you do is the opposite of those forum members whose pictures are all about their clothes and their bodies, or even specific body parts, and how hot they are. They are essentially looking at themselves with a male eye, the same male eye that objectifies women and turns them into pieces of meat. As for your outfits and poses, I think they're tasteful and interesting and reflect a richer, more complex version of femininity than many I've seen. I appreciate that.

And an aside to Stephanie Brooks....I liked your answer to Kew's question and I like your avatars, especially the ones of you but also the ones of objects or models. When I see your various avatars I get the impression of a girl I could actually have an interesting conversation with, someone who has opinions but doesn't take herself too seriously, someone who is comfortable with herself and receptive to others. Your pics really do convey your personality, not just your outer shell. And no I am not just saying this to get more of your big warm huggles! :)

[Dragster]

" If a picture is worth a thousand words; what does your's say about you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?"

You asked a serious question Kew, so you deserve a serious answer (that'll be a novelty!).

I know I've not posted any pics here, that's because I'm still trying to get my wife of 36 years to accept (or at least acknowledge) my CD needs. It's a long job and I'm not rushing it, but if I ever get to show her what's on this site, or even join the GG's section, I don't want her to find pictures of me before there is an understanding of what she's comfortable with.

Firstly, there isn't ony one image I'd like to project. Inside, I'm prodominantly male, but there's a also a female who would like to come out to play from time to time. When I'm feeling playful, I'd like to dress really sexy, the sort of things that would turn me on if I saw them in a top shelf magazine. Short, tight clothes, corsets, leather and latex, lots of flesh on show, 5"+ stilettos, stockings & suspenders, bright red lips and nails, long hair, lots of make-up. Would it turn me on sexually, you bet, and I'd love it if my wife would wear these sort of things for a long private night in, but she doesn't like it, so it doesn't happen. Am I then just looking to satisfy my desire to be turned on by my wife in these clothes, by wanting to dress in this way myself? Maybe, but I guess I'd need a psychiatrist to find out. Would I want to make love to my wife wearing clothes like these? Absolutely, but I know she wouldn't enjoy it, so I end up satisfying myself. Yes I'd take photos and want to publish them here. It's a safe environment, no-one who knows me would recognise me, and it allows me to be a raging extrovert, which is not really my character, so I suppose I'd be showing off, but without risking ridicule or reputation.

There are times when glamour is my objective. I like long flowing evening gowns (but sexy underwear underneath!), elegant hairstyles, glittering jewelry, elegant make-up, ready for a night at the ball!

And finally, if I ever get the chance (or courage) to go out in public en-femme, I'd want to blend in with the crowd, but still look the "lady". The jeans and sweater look in which I spend most of my male days would not do it for me. It would have to be a dress or skirt (knee length) with stockings and heels (though not the 5" I'd wear in private). Maybe a fitted suit with a smart blouse, but the object would be a sophisticated lady 20 years younger than my 60 years. I'd get a tremendous buzz out of walking through a shopping mall or going to a show dressed like that, so I guess I'd be looking for some attention, but giving off a "do not touch" message. Maybe some of the adrenaline rush is the risk that someone would try to talk to me, whether or not I'd been read!

Now would I publish pictures of these two looks? Of course I would, it's the extrovert again. So Kew, you'd see three significantly different images of my feminine side. What would you make of them? I suppose I'd be projecting an image that said I want to have fun by playing with my femininity, whether elegantly or sexily, even though at heart, I'd know that I was still a man, and happy to be so.

I don't know whether this helps you in understanding our motivations (when most of us don't understand ourselves anyway), but I think it's great that there are GGs out there like you who really want to understand us. Could you have a word with my wife please and persuade her to follow suit? Whether she comes "on-side" or not, I know I'll love her for the rest of my life, and I'll be her "man" whenever she wants me to be, but I hope there'll be a time when we both can happily explore the feminine side of me from time to time. Maybe one day......

Tony

[KewTnCurvy GG]

When I have more time I want to respond more in depth to your post; however, I would be happy to talk with your wife should she want to:). Just let me know. And I bet, you'd find other GG's here who are also very willing:)

[Jen_TGCD]

Ladies...

It seems to me that you are possibly getting CDs and TSs confused. As much as we CDs would like to imagine... we do not know how a woman feels or thinks or responds. Most of us are "men" in drag, to be frank! It's about illusion... not a lifestyle. Natalie Sweet and Dragster gave "honest" responses to this topic! They are CDs... not a male with a female mind rolling around inside, somewhere. A lot of the incongruity you see is because of motive, much confusion, peer pressure, acceptance, experimentation, and probably, the length of time the CD has been out of the closet. We have a good representation, here, of the many facets of Crossdressing... including those that use their pics to express... whatever they are trying to express... at that time.

I guess, for the most part, many of us, here, are not that serious about this whole CD thing, or really give it much thought when we are not online. Some do! Some are trying to find a balance! Some are reserved... and some are exhibitionists. The one thing I do know, is that we are all in flux. Just look at Tristen... a tramp one day, super business administrator the next, TS in between. :eek: (Sorry... I just needed a good example to use here to make a point! ;) )

I'd say it is very difficult to try to find genuine female feelings in most of the CDs here... even if they do say how sensitive and feminine they feel. Possibly, at the moment... they really are... but it's a temporary condition that is quickly overtaken by the male persona.

:p Guess that's why we need a support forum... like this one!!!

[Man... am I glad I haven't posted many pics here!!! :nerves: ]

[Natalie x]

I would dearly love to be able to say that I can express my female side properly. I actually feel that, inside me, I am more woman than man. The trouble is, my mind and body have been in male mode for too long. My chest and shoulders are too broad, my voice too deep, my facial hair too coarse, my mannerisms and humour too masculine.

And yet, more and more, I am eroding the male parts of my personality and replacing them with what I believe to be more feminine traits. When I am dressed, it reminds me constantly of what I am trying to do, and I definitely bahave differently. I try to have something at all times to help me, nail polish works very well, as it is constantly in my line of sight.

I am trying to feminise my appearance, with electrolysis, makeup, dieting (sort of) and excercise. I am wearing women's or androgenous clothes more and more. And all this because? Because I wish I was a woman. If I were younger, I would definutly take it further, possibly as far as srs, but at my age its not even an option.

By dressing, I am exploring the feminine side of my personality. Not for titilation or gratification, not to attract men and not to mock women. I just want to get as close as I can to being the person I think I should have been but for a hiccup in my genetic makeup.

What am I trying to say with my pictures?

"Here is a person who is trying to get close to understanding what it is like to be a woman"

[Sherlyn]

..a few cents from me ...personally.. too me the forum is the place we go for support YES ,,,,but the pic thing I think is a fish for compliments ...we take a certain pic or several (guilty) and look for feedback ..... EGO BOOST.No different I think as when a GG dresses fancy ...new haircut,,,lipstick ..whatever and goes out dining shopping or just even a walk ...and getting a smile coz they are noticed ....WE cant really do this and thats a compliment to you GG's..Kew I have seen u do this.. when your having a good day ..u look at yourself and are happy ...other days when u are concerned you dont look good ...wont even go too the store if your not happy(vanity) ...hehe.. I dont think alot of us here are trying too show feeling in our pics.... Its simple vanity "fishing" for a compliment(hmmmm perhaps just me}...Oh and KEW ..hehe you always tell me you dont like pics period ...sooooo a bit of a bug up your#$#@$%$ with pics too begin with hun:)
Love Me :hiding:

[Tristen Cox]

And now you better hide your arse babe, your in so much trouble ...LoL :eek: :p

[KewTnCurvy GG]

What I think my photo says,,,this is the easiest question yet.

My photo says ****. It says I am open for business, all wierdos are welcome, but you must supply your own hadcuffs.
Ummmm, kewl! Welcome back Amelie! Love ya grrly!

[Natalie x]

Amelie, I love ya too. Great to see you.

[Jen_TGCD]

Does anyone have a link where I can buy some handcuffs??? :o

[Tamara Croft]

Does anyone have a link where I can buy some handcuffs??? :o
http://www.sextoys.co.uk/?dealer=480
http://www.sextoys4me.co.uk/acatalog/bondage.html

;) ;)

My picture says...... I look sweet and innocent..... ;)

[Natalie x]

Does anyone have a link where I can buy some handcuffs??? :o

Aahh, I love you too, honest.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

http://www.sextoys.co.uk/?dealer=480
http://www.sextoys4me.co.uk/acatalog/bondage.html



My picture says...... I look sweet and innocent.....
:lol: :liar: :liar: :lol:

[Tristen Cox]

Does anyone have a link where I can buy some handcuffs??? :o
What you mean there's something you CAN'T buy at WALMART?????? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :censor:

[Di]

Thanks Kew for trying and thanks to the few girls THAT GOT IT and answered

just trying to get you grrlz (for some of you) out of your male brains and explain yourselves better. K?
__________________
well put

[Jen_TGCD]

just trying to get you grrlz... out of your male brains and explain yourselves better. K?
__________________
well put


If we get out of our male brains... we got no place to go ! ! ! :(

[Jen_TGCD]

Seriously folks :rolleyes: ... is this one of those "I'm from Venus and You are from Mars" thingys!

Maybe I'm not getting it. Or maybe you GGs are not getting it!!! Please explain what this experiment was supposed to be all about???

All I have seen so far is that "some grrls" don't walk the walk... or talk the talk. Is that it???

:confused: Confused in NewMexico ~

[Sharon]

Seriously folks :rolleyes: ... is this one of those "I'm from Venus and You are from Mars" thingys!

Maybe I'm not getting it. Or maybe you GGs are not getting it!!! Please explain what this experiment was supposed to be all about???

All I have seen so far is that "some grrls" don't walk the walk... or talk the talk. Is that it???

:confused: Confused in NewMexico ~

Right! It reads like a pass or fail test.

[Tristen Cox]

I didn't think there was any right or wrong answer. The questions seemed fairly up front:

1. So what are your pictures saying of you?

2. What do you want them to say?

3. Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?

Not much to it really, just a study Q+A type thing. No bodies getting report cards this quarter.

[Rachel Ann]

... just trying to get you grrlz (for some of you) out of your male brains and explain yourselves better. K?

Thanks Kew for trying and thanks to the few girls THAT GOT IT and answered.
I think that each of you should tell each of us whether we passed or failed, and why. I think I got it but maybe not. I feel like a sorority pledge.

Rachel the uncertain

[Melissa A.]

I only have one pic as of yet. My avatar. That will change sometime soon, hopefully.

It's hard not to be subjective, and we are always hardest on ourselves, but I'll try to give myself a break. My photo says I pursue femininity as best I can, that I make an effort when I dress. that I'm extremely friendly and easygoing. That I could go a little easier on the mascara, and we should have left the flash off in that bright room!

I hope it says I'm comfortable with who I am, and that I genuinely care about all who I meet here. I also hope it says I'm somewhat pretty and at least minimally passable, but ya don't want to know what I really think about that. I'm not sure at all, but I also hope it exudes sincerity. But I think words do a better job of that.

When I look at my one pic, yes, I think it does reflect what is on the inside. But it's impossible for me to be objective there. Maybe when I get some more taken, I can answer that better.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[ChristineRenee]

Good thread Kew. I think my pics from this year...particularly the ones from my makeover...which includes the new avatar...show that I truly feel in my element when en femme. The outside is a true reflection of the inner emotions that are going on within. The broad smile just kinda says it all....I like who and what I am!;)

[Phoebe Reece]

Sometimes a picture can say the wrong thing, if you don't give the story that goes with it. This one of me acting in the role of Frau Lurker in the play "The House of Dracula" is an example.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Sometimes a picture can say the wrong thing, if you don't give the story that goes with it. This one of me acting in the role of Frau Lurker in the play "The House of Dracula" is an example.
Precisely! :D

And, btw, there is no pass or fail. I do think some of you may be battling with your male brain in trying to respond. Look to Julie, Stephanie or Ava's responses. That should give you an idea of what I was getting at. And Tristen is right; it's simply those three questions. An act of self-reflection and introspection. K? And I will be back to comment on those I haven't. Bear with, k?

[Melissa A.]

Thought I answered the three questions, Kew, or didn't I? Tried, anyway. Just wondering.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Ava Mouse]

Marla GG,

Thank you soo much for your comments! Nice to know what GG's think! I appreciate it! Any other hints or comments are welcome!

Well, as you can see, I wasn't kidding when I said I was an artist. I haven't drawn much in a looooong time, most of my artistic energies have been in working on "drawing" Ava.

Where did Ava come from? Well, here are a couple of pics I did back in '89...
http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/4831/castle2pt.th.jpg (http://img41.imageshack.us/my.php?image=castle2pt.jpg) http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/7162/chair6st.th.jpg (http://img146.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chair6st.jpg)

As you can see, I've always been enchanted with feminine beauty. But while I learned to create nice images, what about the other aspects of femininity...? hmmm... why not BECOME my drawing?!?! --> crossdressing!

So, what's my ultimate goal? To create some feminine images, AND to have some creative fun along the way!

See the simularities? Ava is becoming more like my original art...
http://img91.imageshack.us/img91/520/newangel19cj.th.jpg (http://img91.imageshack.us/my.php?image=newangel19cj.jpg) http://img77.imageshack.us/img77/121/exp018ux.th.jpg (http://img77.imageshack.us/my.php?image=exp018ux.jpg)

I'm achieving my goals and having a wonderful adventure! Can you have a more creative medium to 'paint' then yourself? hmmm...

So, GG's, at least for me, Ava is a fictional character/artistic creation. And it's unlike any other art, except maybe acting, isn't it?

When did we give up 'make believing?' When did we last dump our inhibitions and do something fun and wild? Or so totally unlike the person others see in us? Just for fun?

Becoming Ava is a wonderful vacation/escape from the aggressive, cold, testosterone-driven work place...

Hope that helps the GG's... Though I'm probably very unique here and don't neccessarily speak for other CD's... (disclaimer!)


Addendum: There's a LOT more to it than just that, but yes, art is the main reason. Dressing feminine, wearing a dress, high heals, hose, nails, etc. is quite a thrill and I hope I'll never get used to it like GG's do.

And when dressed, I can be quiet and just relax, instead of being needled as a guy for being too quiet and intoverted... sigh...


OH, and I just wanted to thank my GG (Hello!) and all the other GG's for simply attempting to understand our little hobby... You've got a lot of patience and love for us to be here, even if you don't understand or approve or are even revolted by it. We love you all for sticking with us, and you deserve a big HUG and yes, dinner with your MAN soon....

[Jen_TGCD]

Okay... I have finally figured out the subtext of this thread... maybe!?!?!?

Some GGs cannot understand why a segment of the CDs here will throw on some panties and a dress, say how feminine they look and feel, how they adore the female body and all that is feminine... and then post a bunch of photos of themselves that are not in good taste, no sense of what femininity really is and/or the pics are sexually suggestive, especially toward the ****ty side. PLUS... it is annoying, offensive and denigrates the true female identity. It can even be scary... to a certain extent.

Yes???

:strugglin

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Part of it Jen. The other part is what beyond beard cover, eyelashes and skirts is female. How much of you is interested in female issues, female ways of thinking, female ways of being, female? What beyond the pictures? Again an exercise in self-reflection and introspection. This part of it was implied and not asked outright. Does that help? But basically, answering the three questions. :D

[Jen_TGCD]

Thank you, Kew!

Sorry I was a little defensive before but this thread makes more sense now!

:gnight: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................

[Rachel Ann]

How much of you is interested in female issues, female ways of thinking, female ways of being, female? What beyond the pictures? Again an exercise in self-reflection and introspection.
Well, shucks. That was always the biggest part of it for me (as a goal), but obviously what I've been doing to get there isn't working at all. Back to the drawing board. Better that than to waste another minute or another dollar on approaches that don't work.

Obviously, none of us can ever get all the way there, because we didn't grow up as girls. But, like passing, it's a matter of "how close is close enough"? Or so I thought.

I guess we can only learn this sort of thing from GGs. No amount of interacting with other Tgirls is going to do it. GGs who are aware and willing to be helpful, that is. Self-reflection and introspection are only going to call up more male ways of thinking.

So, I'll take one more shot at the three questions:



So what are your pictures saying of you?
I only have a few postable pictures so far, so I can only say that I am reaching for elegance, dignity, and femininity - without any hard edges.



What do you want them to say?
That I am elegant, dignified, and feminine - but also sexy and capable of playfulness. Perhaps with a touch of mystery. I would hope to convey an affectionate impression, the quest for that is what led me here.

I know you don't like the word "ladylike", but to me it means being kind, considerate, polite and trying to put the other person's feelings ahead of one's own. These are traits that I strive for, whether "gentleman" or "lady". (Everyone is a lady and/or a gentleman to me until they prove themselves otherwise).


Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?
Obviously not, yet. I hope that they will over time. I am a work in progress.


Rachel +? :confused: :think:


p.s.

Thanks Kew for trying and thanks to the few girls THAT GOT IT and answered ... just trying to get you grrlz (for some of you) out of your male brains and explain yourselves better.
Leta, all this tells many of us is that whoever those girls are, most of us aren't, and I'm not sure that I can ever explain myself to your satisfaction. You just haven't given enough information. So yes, there is a "pass or fail" implied by what you say, and a lot of us don't know how to tell.

When most GBs are told "you just don't get it" (by a GG), we tend to hear "this isn't worth trying to explain to you because you can't possibly ever understand it, pig." Just one of those semantic disconnects.

If I don't get it, what can I possibly learn from being told nothing more than that I don't get it?

[norbie]

The way I see it is that the Avatar you choose can tell a lot about yourself. It doesn't nessesary be a true photo of yourself. But in choosing your Avatar you want to express yourself. Anyway it was my way to tell the Forum about me. The elegant pink skirt, small waist and corset can describe me: it would mean this CD does not like ****ty cloth, look after myself in not over eating and so on...
But can a photo realy tell someone about your inside??
Maybe to a trained person, I don't know. This photo for example could not tell you that I find it hard to communicate with men, I don't know what to talk with them, can't share their interest - but love to talk for hours in a GG round, about fashion, beauty and so on. (and still dreaming of the past like hoopskirts and great gowns :D )
But could a photo, even if it is your true self tell you this??
Just courious. Anyway this is just my thoughts...
Hugs from Norbie

[Amelie]

Kew, I think I see what you are getting at. But I see this thread being another what is fem and what is not fem debate.

There are many different ideas as to what is fem ideas and issues. I could find some GGs that have completely different issues to you or other GGs.
This is why I think my ideas are right for me. There are many GGs that are of the bimbo, big breasted airheads, they will have completely different fem issues than you or other GGs. While they may have the same medical, physical issues, they will have different mental issues. I fall into the bimbo category, I am constantly looking for the right man(sugar-daddy), while other women look at careers and family issues. I hope this was a better answer to your questions.

Also, I too find some of the CDs here a bit contridictory. Some will talk about respect for women and women's ideas, yet they post pics of themselves in panties or very ****ty images of themselves. Or they might engage in language of a risque nature, going against these nice girl ideas they have.
This is OK, people should post whatever they like, but sometimes the posts(words) don't match the pictures.

Again, you might have a tough time getting some responses from some of the members. There are quite a few CDs that only post pics, and rarely get involved with the talking part of the forum, so you probably won't get responses from these CDs. We never know what they are thinking.

[Rainbow6562005]

My thinking on looking at this photo:

Being the model posing for the picture:
"Boy, I'd have made a very sexy woman. My legs are great!"
"I love looking sexy and appealing."
"It's a thrill when I get appreciated for how I look, particularly from men."

Being the photographer looking at the model:
"Wow, I take good photographs!"
"I have style and a good sense of color balance."
"My, oh my, she's a beauty. And what a turn-on her legs are!"
"And she is SO cooperative!"

Rainbow :)

[Katie Ashe]

So what are your pictures saying of you?
Broke, Repressed, Male, Angry, Very Defensive, Ice cold

What do you want them to say?
Defensive, Gender friendly, Understanding, Content with oneself

Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?
Someone whom can read, pics... would say yes. Hurt, Fustrated, Confused, DTA, Waiting to be free-ed.

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

I am so happy to see so many take the time to think about what Kew asked, realized there is no need to be defensive or anything like that and really try to answer.

I was very happy to see this thread posted, (Thanks for reading my mind Kew! ;)) and have been following along. I am very interested in finding out if being CD's is about really getting in touch with the feminine side or just basically about the clothes. Is there substance to it all? Is there a place inside a CD that really wants to blossom. Wants to learn, as Kew said, to think like a woman, feel like a woman, etc...

I would like to take this thread a step further. I hope you don't mind. No one has to respond if they choose not too. I will not take offense, but the other thing I wonder about, when it comes to pic's that are posted, is it really a statement of you, as this thread is about, or is it the perception your male brain has about women? I have seen a wide variety of pictures posted here. Some are very classy, some very feminine, some very sexy and others? Well, some I wish I hadn't seen, LOL! Some are just down right raunchy and quite disturbing. Now don't fly off the handle here anyone. I am NOT saying you should not post this or that. That isn't what this is about. Post whatever you choose. My question is... Do your pictures represent YOU, your female side or YOUR male persona perception of women?

[Amelie]

I will try to answer you True gemmini, but first I would like to ask the GGs and others something. What is the difference between a fem side and a male side. Besides the obvious, clothes, make-up, shoes, PANTIES, what makes up a fem side in a male, or what makes up a male side in a female. What is the actual(mental) difference between male and female? Is it sexual? Is it behavior? Is it attitude? Is it GGs like romance movies to men's action movies, or is it something deeper. If it is deeper, what exactly does a woman have or do mentally that a CD or TS might not be doing?

Now, to answer True,,,My pics represent me in my fem side. If I was born a female, this is the way I would dress and look. I feel like a female inside, so the outside represents the way I feel. I don't feel that I have a male side, so I can't say that this is how my male side thinks of women. I really don't know what a male side is, as I said up above.
Although I do dress like other GGs that I have hung out with. I dress punk like these other ggs do. It is sort of a uniform, I do it so I can be atracted to other people with similar interests. It is similar to people who wear sport team t-shirts, they can then associate with others of like minds, they have something in common. Same with me, if I see another goth in the street, I can freely go up and talk to this person, we are of the same interests and we show this interests openly with our clothes and make-up.
Maybe the differences between male and female are vague among goths that I don't see many differences between the two sexes. There are differences between two distinct people, but as far as in whole groups, I don't see much difference between the two sexes. Physically,,yes,,,mentally,,no.

[Priscilla1018]

What does mt picture say?I see a fat guy in pantie and bra set who is dangerous and certainly not someone to F :censor: k with.

What do I want my picture to say?Wow,I think I need to more photos when my hair grows out.Will also do a bloke mode also.

Does it reflect what is really inside me?I think it does reflect much that is in me but,it does'nt show my feminine side at all,the side that cares for others,helps others,who loves flowers and animals.I have a lot of work to do in those ares.

[Stephanie Brooks]

First a thank you and *BIG WARM HUGGLES* to Marla! I appreciated your earlier response, and wanted to give you huggles anyway. ^_^

Part of it Jen. The other part is what beyond beard cover, eyelashes and skirts is female. How much of you is interested in female issues, female ways of thinking, female ways of being, female? What beyond the pictures? Again an exercise in self-reflection and introspection. This part of it was implied and not asked outright. Does that help? But basically, answering the three questions. :D
Female issues.

There are a few issues that have been relatively constant for me: safety; pregnancy; being a Mom.

SAFETY

Safety became an immediate issue for me the first time I stepped out en femme. I'm not that large for a guy, but guys are invulnerable, immune. We're the fighters, the predators. If you're a guy, as long as you're strong or appear strong and able to protect yourself, you are generally immune from attack from a single guy or often a pair of guys. No guy, unless clearly armed, is immune from attack from a gang.

That said, my first time out I was going to my car in a parking garage. The immunity and invulnerability wasn't there any longer. I wasn't afraid per se, but I became quickly aware of my purse and the location of my car. While I'm physically the same person whether en femme or en homme, the perception of observers isn't the same. Whereas a guy might be reluctant to attack Steve, he might be far bolder against Stephanie. Since then I'm far more sensitive to safety issues for women.

PREGNANCY

From puberty, guys have it in their makeup to make a girl pregnant every 5 minutes. By age 80, that probably drops to once every 10 minutes. Conversely, most times women are working on NOT becoming pregnant. A few minutes of pleasure for a guy can be a lifetime of commitment for a woman. Furthermore, a single parent - Mom or more rarely Dad - has a high probability of a financially impoverished life.

Whereas guys are fairly wired for promiscuity, the direct consequences of a woman being promiscuous are far more serious.

In concert with this is the menstrual cycle - ovulation, the period, PMS, et al - that occurs every 28 days or so. While mostly invisible to men, women deal with this constantly from puberty to menopause.

BEING A MOM

I don't know how to express this one, but I so wanted to be pregnant with Alice our daughter. I want even today to be her Mom. That's not going to happen. It doesn't matter. I love her, I spend much time with her. I do crafts with her, spend time on the computer with her. We do science experiments together. We laugh, play, make silly faces together. Yeah, she gets time outs, she gets punished (she has a sweet tooth, so losing sweets for a day (and the threat thereof) is VERY effective). She knows I'm her Papa, but I'm probably less Papa-like than most.

CONCLUSION

Biologically I'm a male. Genderwise I don't know what I am, but I'm not completely male. The issues of safety for women, pregnancy, and being a Mom are a part of me.

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

I will try to answer you True gemmini, but first I would like to ask the GGs and others something. What is the difference between a fem side and a male side. Besides the obvious, clothes, make-up, shoes, PANTIES, what makes up a fem side in a male, or what makes up a male side in a female. What is the actual(mental) difference between male and female? Is it sexual? Is it behavior? Is it attitude? Is it GGs like romance movies to men's action movies, or is it something deeper. If it is deeper, what exactly does a woman have or do mentally that a CD or TS might not be doing?

Now, to answer True,,,My pics represent me in my fem side. If I was born a female, this is the way I would dress and look. I feel like a female inside, so the outside represents the way I feel. I don't feel that I have a male side, so I can't say that this is how my male side thinks of women. I really don't know what a male side is, as I said up above.
Although I do dress like other GGs that I have hung out with. I dress punk like these other ggs do. It is sort of a uniform, I do it so I can be atracted to other people with similar interests. It is similar to people who wear sport team t-shirts, they can then associate with others of like minds, they have something in common. Same with me, if I see another goth in the street, I can freely go up and talk to this person, we are of the same interests and we show this interests openly with our clothes and make-up.
Maybe the differences between male and female are vague among goths that I don't see many differences between the two sexes. There are differences between two distinct people, but as far as in whole groups, I don't see much difference between the two sexes. Physically,,yes,,,mentally,,no.

Thanks so much Amelie, for answering and explaining it to me, so eloquently and honestly. I can only speak for myself, but I think that is what all of this boils down to. Trying to get a better understanding of the CD mind and soul. To answer your question, I really don't know what the differences are. When I read time and time again, about CD'ers getting in touch with there femininity, I guess I am just trying to figure out what that is exactly.
Seems there winds up being more and more questions, huh?
LOL!
Oh and Amelie, on a side note... To be honest, when I see your pic's. All I do see is a woman. Very beautiful one at that! Like so many others here.

Thank you all again, for taking the time and helping us GG's understand the ones we love, even better!

[Ophelia D'Void]

Hmm, how do I answer this...

On the one hand, I pick my pictures to show how I feel inside. Kinda dark, kinda playful, and just plain weird. I can't say that I've ever really fit in with any particular group, and even the friends I hang out with our oddballs and misfits, not belonging to any particular crowd or clique, musically or otherwise. Just a group of the loose ends of society in some ways.

I get the impression that my avatar shows some poser ditz, yet at the same time here I am thinking "gee, I wonder if anyone reads my posts". Going for "free thinker that's not too hard on the eyes and knows how to party", but probably ending up as "goth wannabe who thinks he's a know it all".

I'm not sure how it plays in for alot of members, but many times I get the impression that crossdressing is an intrinsically selfish act. For whatever reason, alot of guys feel like they give attention to others, but don't know how to get it for themselves. As a result "dressing with style" is a way in which certain guys get it for themselves, either from themselves or through their community.

Many times an avatar portrays what they desire, what they look for or what they happen to find beautiful. In many ways it is not a realistic portrayal of women, but rather is an ideal.

Women dress in many ways for themselves, for society, for the opposite sex, for comfort, for fashion, in response to many many different variables. Everything has baggage with it, be it minor (oops, white after Labor Day), or major (in the past defense attorneys have used the argument in rape trials that the victim was dressed in such a way as to compel men to rape her.... bah, such bullshit but it's there). Women dress as an expression of individuality, style, background, music, mood etc.

CD's on the other hand dress according to how a guy would dress a girl, without necessarily knowing social implications of short dresses (ya, I'll be the first to admit that I really need to get a skirt that goes below my thigh), the fashion faux pas', and many other things. Dressing is a skill, some start out better, some worse, but in the end it's all about practice, and the more it's done the better it becomes.

If dressing is like art, then many of us are like kids using crayons to try to recreate a Rembrandt. We may never get there, but we try and we get closer ever time we try. However, the values behind the CD are always there, so there may be a conflict between what is shown in an avatar and who the person is.

Hmm, come to think of it, I have no idea what I'm trying to say in my avatar. I guess I'm trying to show someone who is a bit outside the norm... someone who isn't quite beautiful, but aspires... with a touch of artistry and a love of things out of the ordinary?

Not sure if I answered anyone's question, but that's that. By the way, great to see you back Amelie... we lost a fellow soldja when you left....

Perplexedly yours,
O

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Beautiful answer Ophelia!

Seriously though there are many other's responses I want to come back and respond to and will:)

[Natalie x]

What a great thread this has turned out to be. It has certainly made me really dig deep and try to understand my perceptions and objectives.

When I first came here, I didn't even know that I was a crossdresser; I had hardly ever heard the term before and owned no women's clothes. I had a vague notion that my gender was out of sync with my sexuality, but didn't know why or what to do about it.

At this stage, it had nothing to do with being or emulating a woman, it was just a matter of releasing a part of me that had never seen the light of day before. By coincidence, that part of me happens to be a strong feminine influence but, for the purpose of understanding what is driving me, it could just as easily have been a desire to learn to fly or to fish for salmon.

Over time, my understanding of my "condition" has grown and, with it, my confidence to express what I feel is the real me. But I need to do more than just feel feminine, I also need to create an external appearance that reinforces it for me, and conveys an image to the world of what is going on inside.

I have always had a perception of the "ideal" woman. To me, women are the gentle sex, they are the carers and the mothers. They are a pleasure to the eye and ear. Now, I'm not so blonde as to believe that all women are perfect examples of my perception of womanhood, I have eyes and ears, but that is the basis of the creation that is Natalie.

So now we are back to "What does your picture say about you?" qualified with what Patti has asked ...

I want my pictures to say "I may have been born a man, but I have a strong feminine component. I believe that women are beautiful, gentle and caring and I posess those attributes". They are not pictures of Garry trying to be a woman, they are of Natalie, a woman in her own right, who just happens to be very inexperienced in womanly ways because she has been squashed into Garry's personality all these years. I use this font for the same reason; it's a pain to have to change every time, but it's my girlie voice, the voice I think in as Natalie. These contrivances help me to break down the walls within myself that have held Natalie trapped all this time. Whether or not they actually succeed in saying to others what I want them to is another matter; I am too close to them to know. I need a good friend or, maybe better, a caring stranger, to tell me.

[DragonLotus]

What is the actual(mental) difference between male and female? Is it sexual? Is it behavior? Is it attitude? Is it GGs like romance movies to men's action movies, or is it something deeper. If it is deeper, what exactly does a woman have or do mentally that a CD or TS might not be doing?

I feel like this question gives me permission to dive into a discussion I would've felt otherwise unqualified for. :love:

My male side is mostly about perceptions and attitudes. These, in turn, fuel my likes and dislikes, and some of my strategies for living life in general. The fact that I even see life as a strategy shows my male way of thinking. I fought with my male side for years, always trying to do what I thought women were supposed to do (be nurturing and put yourself last for the sake of others, don't be too pushy for what you want or you'll be labelled a bitch, don't be too openly competitive if you want to be thought of as nice, learn to spare people's feelings, etc etc ad nauseum) Once I stopped behaving like I thought I should and let the real me come out, my life has been much happier and productive. I don't let ppl walk on me and I no longer feel guilty promoting my skills. And yes, I like action movies waaaaayyy better than chick flicks.

But the flip side of this (my female side) dislikes some of the arrogance and lack of consideration that males often exhibit. I'm not sure if that's because old habits of conformity die hard or if it's because having been on both sides has shown me that loving compassion and individual strength are not opposing traits.


I dress punk like these other ggs do. It is sort of a uniform, I do it so I can be atracted to other people with similar interests. It is similar to people who wear sport team t-shirts, they can then associate with others of like minds, they have something in common. Same with me, if I see another goth in the street, I can freely go up and talk to this person, we are of the same interests and we show this interests openly with our clothes and make-up.
Maybe the differences between male and female are vague among goths that I don't see many differences between the two sexes.

A fine point. I tend to dress goth when I want to be with goths (a subculture I dearly love). And it does seems to me that the gender line is a bit blurred with that group. Not sure why, but it's true.

........And I think Ophelia is the hottest thing since my steering wheel at high noon today. Having a chick like that (or a CD, I dont care) on my arm at the local goth club would make me feel like I owned the place. Hey, I guess I really CAN think like a guy!

hahahaha :thumbsup:

[Ophelia D'Void]

........And I think Ophelia is the hottest thing since my steering wheel at high noon today. Having a chick like that (or a CD, I dont care) on my arm at the local goth club would make me feel like I owned the place. Hey, I guess I really CAN think like a guy!

Wow, um... wow. That is probably one of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten. Thank you Dragonlotus:D

Now stop that! You're going to give me laugh lines from all the smiling I'm doing (and probably a flat head from all the slaps that Ayla's going to do to the back of my head when she gets back from work and reads this).

O

[Tone]

This is Wilma, talking to you from Tone's computer. I saw this thread and I was thinking my pictures are what I feel, sometime sexy and sometime 49 and aging. Here are a couple picts Tone took of me yesterday. I felt sexy!!!!!
LOL Wilma

[Ophelia D'Void]

Wow, really liking the new look there Wilma! Give Tone a big hug from me will ya?

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I guess, as a GG and the partner of a TG, that I sometimes have a difficult time understanding exactly what a TG is trying to communicate with their image. Sometimes TG's post sexy, trampy, trashy pictures but then say they want to be perceived as not ****ty. So, to me, that's incongruent with what they post. Also, sometimes TG's seem to be caught up in more of the superficial aspects of what may comprise a woman and less interested in the aspects of substance.

You raise a fair point. I think a number of CDs/TGs are in effect teenage girls, especially those who don't get to let their femme self out much. So much like teenage girls who are so caught up in their budding womanhood, there's too much make-up, skirts that are a bit too high and a bit too tight, etc. And because so many of us dress in isolation there's no parents to say "you're not going out like that," nor the fear of social reprecussions that cause most GGs to tone things down over time. Even for those who go out to support groups, those groups typically are a bit too supportive. They're not going to tell you that no one in their 50s -- with the exception of Tina Turner -- should be wearing a mini skirt out to dinner.

I do think there's a big change that occurs for those of us who go out in public. I don't mean this in the sense that I'm higher in the "TG hierarchy," nor that I'm passable and others aren't. I'm 5'10" with broad shoulders and a barrel chest, so I'm not exactly a petite gal and I'm frankly surprised that I blend as well as I do. I think a big reason I do blend is that before I went out, I worked hard on getting hair, clothes and make-up that look like what a typical GW would wear. (It's really not hard, on another forum in less than a week we were able to help one girl go from literally having people point and snicker at her, to blend in and only getting read once in a while.) Going out is definitely a reality check.

Many of us also are probably acting out an idealized version of what being a GW is like. (If you want to be less charitable, you could call it a fantasy version.) Cramps, bloating, the "second shift" at home, lower pay aren't part of that. I'm not sure we're acting like the GWs we'd like to date, but some of us definitely are acting out "girls just wanna have fun." In a sense it's telling we refer to ourselves as "girls" not "women." It's quite similar to the "boi" CDs within the lesbian community. Men have familes to feed and mortgages to pay, these "bois" dress and act like teenagers.

Then again, there's also superficial GWs as well.... As transman Raven Kaldera, who's written some great essays (see http://www.cauldronfarm.com/writing/activist.html), said: "For every one of these stereotypes being performed by men, I've met the same ones being performed by women, and in larger numbers. I've met the biologically female version of every one of these caricatures, and I'm sure that the women who complain about the guys in dresses probably have, too."

Darla

[emmicd]

I want my picture to reveal the side of me that not many people see, my femme side. I would then like to put it in an album next to my male counterpart picture and have it readily available to show my wife and people closest to me if ever one day I felt the need to show my femme side without having to be dressed in person.

Emmi

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

Hmm, how do I answer this...

On the one hand, I pick my pictures to show how I feel inside. Kinda dark, kinda playful, and just plain weird. I can't say that I've ever really fit in with any particular group, and even the friends I hang out with our oddballs and misfits, not belonging to any particular crowd or clique, musically or otherwise. Just a group of the loose ends of society in some ways.

I get the impression that my avatar shows some poser ditz, yet at the same time here I am thinking "gee, I wonder if anyone reads my posts". Going for "free thinker that's not too hard on the eyes and knows how to party", but probably ending up as "goth wannabe who thinks he's a know it all".

I'm not sure how it plays in for alot of members, but many times I get the impression that crossdressing is an intrinsically selfish act. For whatever reason, alot of guys feel like they give attention to others, but don't know how to get it for themselves. As a result "dressing with style" is a way in which certain guys get it for themselves, either from themselves or through their community.

Many times an avatar portrays what they desire, what they look for or what they happen to find beautiful. In many ways it is not a realistic portrayal of women, but rather is an ideal.

Women dress in many ways for themselves, for society, for the opposite sex, for comfort, for fashion, in response to many many different variables. Everything has baggage with it, be it minor (oops, white after Labor Day), or major (in the past defense attorneys have used the argument in rape trials that the victim was dressed in such a way as to compel men to rape her.... bah, such bullshit but it's there). Women dress as an expression of individuality, style, background, music, mood etc.

CD's on the other hand dress according to how a guy would dress a girl, without necessarily knowing social implications of short dresses (ya, I'll be the first to admit that I really need to get a skirt that goes below my thigh), the fashion faux pas', and many other things. Dressing is a skill, some start out better, some worse, but in the end it's all about practice, and the more it's done the better it becomes.

If dressing is like art, then many of us are like kids using crayons to try to recreate a Rembrandt. We may never get there, but we try and we get closer ever time we try. However, the values behind the CD are always there, so there may be a conflict between what is shown in an avatar and who the person is.

Hmm, come to think of it, I have no idea what I'm trying to say in my avatar. I guess I'm trying to show someone who is a bit outside the norm... someone who isn't quite beautiful, but aspires... with a touch of artistry and a love of things out of the ordinary?

Not sure if I answered anyone's question, but that's that. By the way, great to see you back Amelie... we lost a fellow soldja when you left....

Perplexedly yours,
O
You haven't any idea just how well you answered. Thank you so much for being so open and honest and as far as your picture's? You look just beautiful. Really. Just ask your Lady. I already commented on you to her.
I am not sure just where Kew is right now, but I do know as soon as she gets back to this thread, she will be just as I am now. Smiling and much more informed.

Going on to read the rest posted here. I cannot wait. I LOVE to be educated
LOL!

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

Just went to read the rest of the responses and have to say I am totally floored!
I, as Kew, (I see now, she is around) will be back to respond in a more individual manner to all whom replied. Thank you all for your honesty and for not only looking deep inside, but for having the courage to share it with us all, too!

HUGE :hugs:
To each and every one of you! You see why I am soooooooo CD friendly???
LOL!!!

[Jen_TGCD]

You raise a fair point. I think a number of CDs/TGs are in effect teenage girls, especially those who don't get to let their femme self out much. So much like teenage girls who are so caught up in their budding womanhood, there's too much make-up, skirts that are a bit too high and a bit too tight, etc. And because so many of us dress in isolation there's no parents to say "you're not going out like that," nor the fear of social reprecussions that cause most GGs to tone things down over time. Even for those who go out to support groups, those groups typically are a bit too supportive. They're not going to tell you that no one in their 50s -- with the exception of Tina Turner -- should be wearing a mini skirt out to dinner.<snip>

Many of us also are probably acting out an idealized version of what being a GW is like. (If you want to be less charitable, you could call it a fantasy version.) Cramps, bloating, the "second shift" at home, lower pay aren't part of that. I'm not sure we're acting like the GWs we'd like to date, but some of us definitely are acting out "girls just wanna have fun." In a sense it's telling we refer to ourselves as "girls" not "women." It's quite similar to the "boi" CDs within the lesbian community. Men have familes to feed and mortgages to pay, these "bois" dress and act like teenagers.

<snip> "For every one of these stereotypes being performed by men, I've met the same ones being performed by women, and in larger numbers. I've met the biologically female version of every one of these caricatures, and I'm sure that the women who complain about the guys in dresses probably have, too."

Darla

I just love you California gals... girls... whatever!!! :p :thumbsup:

Darla's post says it all for me, too, and Ophilia's post was so astonishingly perceptive that when I finished reading it... all I could think of was "WOW"!!! Amelie always has a wonderful "grassroots" version that I enjoy!

Again... :clap: WOW ! ! ! ! ! ! :clap:

[Jenny Beth]

Great post Darla. One thing you mentioned that really caught my attention was that going out was a reality check, how true that is. While I have never had anything bad happen it has given me a tiny glimpse of what women have to deal with all the time. Places I wouldn't bat an eyelash at going as a male are places women avoid. Once my wife and I were crossing an intersection and got cat calls from a bunch of yahoos in a passing car. At the time I thought is was good that I had passed but on the other hand I knew what their thoughts were and how demeaning it was for my wife. As I explore this side of me what I notice more and more is how women are treated by males. I don't watch TV shows or movies that depict vilolence against women. I have no idea how much of me is female, if any, but I know I don't like being male. I always have the feeling we are all tarred with the same brush. So I have to say if my pictures say anything it's that for a while at least I'm not part of the boys club.

[Rachel Ann]

There are a few issues that have been relatively constant for me: safety; pregnancy; being a Mom.Stephanie, you seem to have some sort of direct pipeline to my soul. :angel:


SAFETY

Safety became an immediate issue for me the first time I stepped out en femme. … No guy, unless clearly armed, is immune from attack from a gang. … Since then I'm far more sensitive to safety issues for women.Yes, quite. I don’t like to go out en femme after dark unless accompanied by another TG or GG, and I think that is true for many GGs as well. Consciousness of where you have parked and where you are going is a big deal. Also, I think that Mace and a rape whistle are not bad ideas.

I have done a lot of “guy-dangerous” things, such as working rock concert security. You know what? It all depends on having people at your back!

I have been raped, but it just isn’t as damaging to man as it is to a woman – especially psychically.



PREGNANCY

From puberty, guys have it in their makeup to make a girl pregnant every 5 minutes. By age 80, that probably drops to once every 10 minutes.
Well, I’m 60 and it’s been years – but that has a lot to do with the dreadful cocktail of medications that I’m on.

On the other hand, despite given all of the pain and difficulty surrounding fertility for women, many want to have children more than anything. I can (sort of) understand this. The concept of being able to give and nurture life is thrilling. I have had the chance to save a couple of lives, but that’s nowhere near being able to give life.

I once did a meditation project with a (female) spiritual advisor that involved a symbolic pregnancy culminating in the birth of my new self. We only had four months, but it was a tremendous and wonderful experience. :D



In concert with this is the menstrual cycle - ovulation, the period, PMS, et al - that occurs every 28 days or so. While mostly invisible to men, women deal with this constantly from puberty to menopause.
Another huge one. I think that, because women bleed and sometimes breed, they are just closer to life than men are. (I have known more than one woman who actually liked her period!)

Another theory (risking brickbats from GGs): Having had “major depression” for most of my life, I have noticed this in my many conversations with others so afflicted: Women are conditioned from puberty to expect their emotions to change cyclically, over time, so are better able to cope with emotional extremes than men are. After all, it will be different later, right? On the other hand, a man confronted with a new emotional state has no way of knowing that it won’t be like that forever.



BEING A MOM

I don't know how to express this one, but I so wanted to be pregnant with Alice our daughter. I want even today to be her Mom. That's not going to happen. It doesn't matter.
You never know, you just might be her Mom, and on some internal level she might just know that. I remember wishing that I could breast feed my son as my wife did!

My son is now grown, but at least I was more than a “weekend uncle daddy”. We are very close, and he has never had trouble expressing love and affection towards me (at least since middle school).

And, I now have a 3 yo step-granddaughter to play with. :)

I would loved to have had the chance to be a Mom, and would take it were it ever offered to me! Even knowing about the hard parts.



CONCLUSION

Biologically I'm a male. Genderwise I don't know what I am, but I'm not completely male. The issues of safety for women, pregnancy, and being a Mom are a part of me.
You once said a very wise thing, Stephanie: that without both our male and female personalities, we are not whole persons. I think that your gender is firmly rooted in both sexes. I’m still trying to get there.

Lots and lots of warm huggles

Rachel xx

p.s. To hell with sex. What I really want in life is affection, lots of it. And that is something that girls are especially good at giving and sharing. :love:

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Thanks, Jen and Jenny *blush*

I think the question was posed earlier about learning to understand women better as opposed to just learning to dress like one.

To a certain degree, I'll always be a guy in a dress. The best way to describe this is by analogy. Imagine I'm convinced I'm really French. (I might've actually been born French and then brought to the U.S. as an infant and raised American.) Well I can move to France, learn French well enough to not have a trace of an accent, and in general assimilate so well that I'm mistaken for a native. But I'll never really be 100% French -- there's just too many experiences growing up that I missed out on. A number of TSs seem to problems accepting this. (Note: I'm _not_ calling them less than women, just saying they're kind of analygous to a GW who was raised in an all-male environment until she was 18.)

That said, being out in public as a woman has taught me more than a few things. As others have mentioned, it's one thing to be intellectually aware of the safety concerns of women, it's another to worry about the dark alley up ahead and wondering if I can run in heels if I need to. I've been hit on by loutish guys who don't seem to understand the concept of "I'm not interested." Wearing clothes that skim your body has made realize why women are so self-conscious about their bodies. I've put my photo on Hot-or-Not and known what it's like to have people look down on me because they think I'm fat. And to get girly for a minute -- I now realize why you need a dozen pairs of shoes (and those are just the black ones). :)

But seriously, Darla is to some extent a character that I've created. Part of her is me. If various personality tests are to be believed, I've got a fairly androgynous personality and CDing allows me to release/nuture some of the more "feminine" aspects of my personality. As Darla, I'm probably more sensitive to other's feelings, more caring. But I've also consciously channeled my CD urges to explore/expand parts of my personality that I want to develop. For example, Darla is more of the social extrovert than my guy-self.

Anyway, I make no claim to fully understand women, but I think CDing has helped me understand some aspects of what's like to be a woman.

Darla

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Getting lots of responses, questions, frustration, confusion, etc. from this thread.

Found this interesting article, thought I'd throw it into the soup. I'd be interested in having ppl read the sections on body language, facial expression, speech patterns and behavior. Comments? Reactions?

http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/2052/genddiff.html

[Ellaine]

YES! Of course.

BS! If it wasn't, you wouldn't post them I don't think. Now, DO NOT FAIL to understand what I say here. So maybe you are confident of who you are and am proud of your pictures. However, I would not believe one soul here who says they don't care what other's think. Seriously, give me a break. TG's/CD's are some of the most sensitive ppl I have ever met in my entire life and are quite affected by the words, thoughts and opinions of others.



BS!?..BS!?...That's a bit much!!!

Wrong! I post my photo in the knowledge that in some way, folks will "categorise" me..."Old boiler", "Classy" "Dog Rough" "Hot" "My Age" etc....So I really do not care what folks think of how I look in the photo. I have picked it as a fair representation, and a snapshot of who is posting.
When I go out;that's when I care what I look like. When I'm indoors with Misty, my Wife of 30+ yrs, When I'm, on the webcam, that's when I care.
Let's keep it real. :)




Ellxx


p.s. Having looked agin at the avatar I've used, (and I have plenty..) I am sure I used that one because I like to get my "sceptical, but with a sense of humour" characteristics across. That is more important to me, they are real. :) Or is that the kind of "what I look like" that you meant ? ;)

[Ellaine]

Anyway, I make no claim to fully understand women, but I think CDing has helped me understand some aspects of what's like to be a woman.

Darla


Hi Darla... That whole post was so me, and so well written!
Nail on the head stuff!


:)

[Ellaine]

Don't need a thousand words to say...Past me best... lol

[Ayla GG]

Hey Kewt,


How much of you is interested in female issues, female ways of thinking, female ways of being, female? What beyond the pictures? Again an exercise in self-reflection and introspection.

I'm probably rambling here...but I feel like sharing...

For us GGs communicating, being introspective & sharing our insights/ ideas/ feelings is our way to bond/ get closer/ get to know somebody better. But I know sometimes it's hard for some people to be introspective & expressive due to personality--introvert v.s. extrovert or the way they were brought up/ cultural aspect, comfort level depending who they are talking to, etc. It's not because they don't want to, sometimes they don't know how to convey it. I think that sometimes it's hard for CDs to be introspective/ reflective to their SO caused by years of repression/denial that they aren't completely in touch with themselves yet or haven't come in tp terms with it. Also, there is that fear of rejection involved. I think when self acceptance & self understanding is lacking then we won't be able to convey what we're about/ make people around accept us. I can see how it can be difficult for some GGs who has to deal with a secretive SO, or an SO who has a hard time communicating.

In regards to my relationship with Ophelia, being introspective & open communication are essential--I'm constantly picking on her poor brain ;) Ophelia & I often discuss personal growth, the how-why-what different aspect of our lives. I know it's not always the easiest thing for O to express herself or answer my questions but she TRIES ( EFFORT is always a good thing) & she never gets offended/ defensive in our dialogue. ( I'm sure sometimes Ophelia would rather zone out & watch TV than answer/listen to my questions :p )

I appreciate the fact that she is willing to listen to my point of view as a GG & an SO, we share our insights in life, relationship, CDing, men-women, etc. I think my SO is interested in not just dressing like a female but she is also trying to understand female ways & mind as well. In fact, O is more introspective in the CDing aspect than other aspects in her life. My favorite time of the day is when we just lounge around & yep...you guess it...our own Oprah-Dr. Phil session!!!

By the way....Dragon Lotus...


I think Ophelia is the hottest thing since my steering wheel at high noon today.

I agree whole heartedly & she's mine ;) :cool:

P.S. Ophelia quit being a ham, Andi-amo...XXX

[Ellaine]

I agree whole heartedly & she's mine ;) :cool:




AAwww that's lovely :)

[jenniferluv]

Why, darling, would I care what other people think of my picture? I like it. I think I look good. I don't intend to hold myself up before the world for their opinions, scrutiny, criticizems, or tart remarks. So there is no need for me to try to please others who wish to gaze at my photo. I'm me and I like me, what others think is what they think....could I change that with a pic? me thinks not!

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi Rachel Ann!

Thank you. *BIG WARM HUGGLES*

[Toyah]

Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?

Dunno about lots of pics, what do they say, this is my other self, is it ok to be like this.
It reflects part of me probably only a small part

[Ophelia D'Void]

By the way....Dragon Lotus...



I agree whole heartedly & she's mine ;) :cool:

P.S. Ophelia quit being a ham, Andi-amo...XXX

:D Hey Mi'Amore, I'm just sayin'.....

Oh, did I mention earlier that "dressing with style" was a way for guys to get attention, since they're not equipped emotionally to ask for attention in guy mode?

So, ya, I'm a ham, dagnabbit. This is me, this is who I am, see me, luuuuv me!! (two snaps up in "Z" formation).
http://www.dvdtimes.co.uk/images/KevinGilvear/ILC2.jpg

Excellent replies so far, from what I've been seeing, and Darla seems to have had a lot of time on the "outside", to give a very well informed and well conveyed opinion.

[Deborah]

You raise a fair point. I think a number of CDs/TGs are in effect teenage girls, especially those who don't get to let their femme self out much. So much like teenage girls who are so caught up in their budding womanhood, there's too much make-up, skirts that are a bit too high and a bit too tight, etc. And because so many of us dress in isolation there's no parents to say "you're not going out like that," nor the fear of social reprecussions that cause most GGs to tone things down over time.
Darla

Like Totally!! and you better not try to take away my cellphone either.


Get out of my panty drawer you pervert



MOM!!!!



Stupid brother hit me again!

:p :eek: :D

[Deborah]

^^I believe thats true for some people btw. I'll write my serious answer later.

[Tristen Cox]

*shakes head*

Three little questions that can be answered so simply and look what happened. Have to hunt through just to find a few that did answer those without getting into more questions and debates etc.

Where's this all going? Who knows. What were the questions? Anyone, anyone? Yeah I forgot too cause I don't see 'em anymore......

*turns out light, tucks under the covers*

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi T!

<*checks under the covers*>

It's safe, Sweetie.

Here's the scoop. I probably helped twist this a bit in post 95, but it was in response to Kew's additional questions in post 85:

Part of it Jen. The other part is what beyond beard cover, eyelashes and skirts is female. How much of you is interested in female issues, female ways of thinking, female ways of being, female? What beyond the pictures? Again an exercise in self-reflection and introspection. This part of it was implied and not asked outright. Does that help? But basically, answering the three questions.

That goes beyond the first three questions:

If a picture is worth a thousand words; what does your's say about you?
Fair question; isn't it? Just curious. Lots of you TGrrlz post tons of pictures. So what are your pictures saying of you? What do you want them to say? Do they truly reflect what is on the INSIDE?

If nothing else, it's been interesting, don't you think?

[Anita]

Piture? You Mean To Tell Me You Can Actually Post A Picture Of Yourself On Here
Whatever Next ?i Might Just Have To Think About Doing That!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :)

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Getting lots of responses, questions, frustration, confusion, etc. from this thread.

Not sure if you mean you've got questions, frustrations, confusion. If so, if you could elaborate, we could try to respond.


Found this interesting article, thought I'd throw it into the soup. I'd be interested in having ppl read the sections on body language, facial expression, speech patterns and behavior. Comments? Reactions?

http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/2052/genddiff.html

Seems similar to work that been done by linguist Deborah Tannen ("You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation.") Obviously the characteristics described are sweeping generalizations, but much like the Urinal Game http://flasharcade.com/game.php?urinal it's based in real-life observed behavior. OTOH, your mileage may vary significantly based on personality, socio-economic status, race, geography. (The idea of "polite conversation" in Minnesota and New York City is obviously considerably different.)

That said, some of the stereotypes hold true. My Mom loves to tells me all about the lives of people I barely knew in high school. Bores me to tears, but I've come to realize it's her way of connecting. Likewise, we've had arguments because her way of expressing how important it was I take care of some repairs around the house sounded like nagging due to the way she said things.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

*turning on the flashlight under the cover*

OK, OK, Mom, about those questions....

I'd hope my pictures would say cute with a sense of style, smart but not taking herself too seriously, a bit of an attitude but not a drama queen, friendly and fun to be with. Others can be the judge of whether I've succeeded.

'Course other photos say other things about me... Do I have pics imagining myself as being sex on wheels. Yes I do. OTOH, I know I'm showing (off) that part of myself. Just as I imagine GWs do when they get boudoir photos taken.

[Amelie]

OK Kew,, I'll give it one more try. I will try to relate this thread with another that is going on now in the forum, Pattie's thread about finding porn on her son's computer.

If you go to that thread you will see that most of the responses from the male CDs are to leave the kid alone and let him explore(not all the CDs, but most). Yet Tamara's and Kathy's response are more like a mother's(fem), they have a protect the children feeling in their posts, they are thinking fem while the CDs are thinking Male. The CDs think in male mode, yet the photos show them to be fem, I don't know if this was what you were looking for, but I tried.

Now, not all of the CDs responded this way, I can't remember all the responses, I do remember Aprils was more to the fem way of thinking. Also. I am not saying the CDs were wrong in their thinking, it just wasn't the same as thoughts from Tamara and Kathy. This might be what you are seeking in your thread Kew, that no matter how much fem clothes a CD wears in the photos, he still thinks in male mode. It might be said that men and woman are different inside the mind as well as physically different.
Anyway, I hope this is what you are looking for.

[Tristen Cox]

That makes sense Amelie, although I am not nor never have been a parent so I wouldn't know about it from the male or female aspect. That's why I tried to reply to that thread in a technical sense and not as a parent.

[Amelie]

That makes sense Amelie, although I am not nor never have been a parent so I wouldn't know about it from the male or female aspect. That's why I tried to reply to that thread in a technical sense and not as a parent.

I know that some are not parents, like yourself. But in a woman, even though she has not had any children, she still has an instintive(fem) feelings towards all children. Women have these feelings even though they are not parents. I know that Tamara has a child, but I don't know if Kathy does. I didn't go on the assumption if anyone was a parent, just that women(fem) can think different to men.
I jus thought that this was what Kew was looking for.

We'll never know till she shows up,,,,Kew,,,Kew,,, are you out there.

OH no, I feel the wrath of Kew-n coming

[Toyah]

I have noticed one thing and that is for me it is only the most recent pictures I am interested in, some of my older ones are ok but all the ones I have just taken are the ones I look at.Does that mean I am evolving or just fickle. I have just taken a set in my spray on satin trousers although I have worn them before with similar tops my new ones always seem to be better.

[Ava Mouse]

I've a movie recommendation for you... Get the original Japanese (subtitled) version of "Shall We Dance" about a quiet, bored married business man who learns to love to dance, but in secret... No film better depicts my desire to crossdress, especially in a society where men are so stereotypically locked into a boring businessman's role...

Cute, safe to watch and with a nice family ending...

OH, and plenty of gorgeous dresses, too! :rolleyes:

[norbie]

Yes you are right Ava, very recomendable. Richard is just great. Go all and see it.
Norbie

[Rachel Ann]

Get the original Japanese (subtitled) version of "Shall We Dance"
I also quite enjoyed the Richard Gere remake. JLo did not loom all that large in it, for those who don't care for her.

[ronna]

Listen, Kewt,
it should be obvious!
It's all about showing off your stuff, whatever it be.
What a cute girl you can be, your new lipstick shade, your new hairstyle, nail polish, slip or skirt.

I mean, what fun would it be to get all dressed up and not have anyone to show off to? Besides, this is a great way to compare notes and learn some new tips. Many visitors to this site have asked how to go about this business, and why not learn from some more experienced girls?