If you are worried about this "passing"...

[Nicole Erin]

It will never matter anyways. Why? Cause so many who obsess that they can't or like to brag that they can have another issue - They are not gonna be happy no matter what.
Some of us CD/TS like me are like "alright, I do what I can with what I have" and just take the good with the bad.

Now let us look at the really dissatisfied TG's -

- The closeted family man TG wants to step out en femme.
- The "out" cd/ts want to pass or be accepted or bowl a 300 or whatever..
- The passable full time TS/CD worry about some element of lost youth or not being able to have a baby or not being genetically female...
- The older ones wish they could have done (whatever) when they were 20 something.

One thing that always trips me is how *some* TS women just love to brag about how well they pass or how great life is. Hungry egos I guess.

But for the ones who sit around and obsess about passing or not having XX chromosomes, I wonder if they would be happy no matter what? Like say they woke up one day and were a GG 21 year old supermodel? You know they would *still* find something wrong with themselves.

So what is YOUR excuse? Why not make the best of what you have instead of worrying about what you don't or can't have?

[Joni Marie Cruz]

"What, me worry?"

Alfred E Neuman, courtesy of Mad Magazine

[sherri52]

Nicole you hit it right on the head. You should live with what you've got, but if you don't mind I'll still wish for the impossible and dream of being 24 again. It's only a dream but I like it.

[Kate Simmons]

No excuse here Hon nor do I need one to enjoy being who I am, but I digress.........:)

[Karren H]

The only excuse I have is I'm older than dirt.. But lucky for me I'm happy no mater what clothes I wear! :)

[msginaadoll]

Well I for one fully pass! I fully pass as a crossdresser>Though once I was confused for a transvestite, and the other time they were convinced that I was a spy for the CIA.

[Tiff Rivera]

As I said in another thread, it was all about my acceptance of myself. I am happy no matter what clothes I wear, its about myself inside.

[kellycan27]

It will never matter anyways. Why? Cause so many who obsess that they can't or like to brag that they can have another issue - They are not gonna be happy no matter what.
Some of us CD/TS like me are like "alright, I do what I can with what I have" and just take the good with the bad.

Now let us look at the really dissatisfied TG's -

- The closeted family man TG wants to step out en femme.
- The "out" cd/ts want to pass or be accepted or bowl a 300 or whatever..
- The passable full time TS/CD worry about some element of lost youth or not being able to have a baby or not being genetically female...
- The older ones wish they could have done (whatever) when they were 20 something.

One thing that always trips me is how *some* TS women just love to brag about how well they pass or how great life is. Hungry egos I guess.

But for the ones who sit around and obsess about passing or not having XX chromosomes, I wonder if they would be happy no matter what? Like say they woke up one day and were a GG 21 year old supermodel? You know they would *still* find something wrong with themselves.

So what is YOUR excuse? Why not make the best of what you have instead of worrying about what you don't or can't have?


Well Nicole. like it or not there are some people who can pass, and who are truly happy with their lives, and in fact are living their dream. You say that people should make the best of what they have, but you forgot to mention that they shouldn't do it too well, because if they do they become suspect to others who are not happy with their lives and not happy with how they look. And you forgot to to warn them that if they are in deed trying to make the best of what they have,they will be accused of bragging, boasting, and of being aloof, by these same people. They don't need to *still* find something wrong with themselves, because they have other people that will gladly find it for them. I can't entirely fault these people, for not understanding how someone else can simply be happy, because they probably have never experienced it themselves. I do find it a bit sad that they feel that they have to drag these people down to their level in order to feel better about themselves, but as you said.. people have to work with what they have. Or maybe it's just a case of sour grapes on the part of some, I don't really know. Interesting post though. And one other thing.... Those people, they aren't bothered by the opinions of others because they are used to being ridiculed and accused of all kinds of things by .. I think it's called society. They just say.. if they don't like it,they can just kiss our asses!
:hugs:


Kelly

[SuzanneBender]

I gave up on bowling a 300 long ago. I am excited if I can get my bowling score and my golf score to match. Although I think using a pink bowling ball and hitting off the womens tees in the future may help both.

I find those that have wonderful lives that write about it uplifiting because those people typically didn't get just dropped into the situation. They made it for themselves. Its kind of like watching Oprah. Those CD, TG, and TS girls that have found grace and lead succesful lives are heros to me.

Many gals post negative posts because we face a lot of difficulty in our lives a need support. For many of the girls on this site this is their only outlet.

I think your post captures one of the key tennants of not only transgenderism, but life. Make the most of the gifts you are given. However, satisfaction can impede improvement. True success in all aspects of life comes from balancing where you are with were you want to be. Where would we be today if Thomas Edison had been satisfied with candle light?

[pamela_a]

Well Nicole. like it or not there are some people who can pass, and who are truly happy with their lives, and in fact are living their dream. You say that people should make the best of what they have, but you forgot to mention that they shouldn't do it too well, because if they do they become suspect to others who are not happy with their lives and not happy with how they look. And you forgot to to warn them that if they are in deed trying to make the best of what they have,they will be accused of bragging, boasting, and of being aloof, by these same people. They don't need to *still* find something wrong with themselves, because they have other people that will gladly find it for them. I can't entirely fault these people, for not understanding how someone else can simply be happy, because they probably have never experienced it themselves. I do find it a bit sad that they feel that they have to drag these people down to their level in order to feel better about themselves, but as you said.. people have to work with what they have. Or maybe it's just a case of sour grapes on the part of some, I don't really know. Interesting post though. And one other thing.... Those people, they aren't bothered by the opinions of others because they are used to being ridiculed and accused of all kinds of things by .. I think it's called society. They just say.. if they don't like it,they can just kiss our asses!

I can't say it any better than Kelly did.

[Karen564]

Well Nicole. like it or not there are some people who can pass, and who are truly happy with their lives, and in fact are living their dream. You say that people should make the best of what they have, but you forgot to mention that they shouldn't do it too well, because if they do they become suspect to others who are not happy with their lives and not happy with how they look. And you forgot to to warn them that if they are in deed trying to make the best of what they have,they will be accused of bragging, boasting, and of being aloof, by these same people. They don't need to *still* find something wrong with themselves, because they have other people that will gladly find it for them. I can't entirely fault these people, for not understanding how someone else can simply be happy, because they probably have never experienced it themselves. I do find it a bit sad that they feel that they have to drag these people down to their level in order to feel better about themselves, but as you said.. people have to work with what they have. Or maybe it's just a case of sour grapes on the part of some, I don't really know. Interesting post though. And one other thing.... Those people, they aren't bothered by the opinions of others because they are used to being ridiculed and accused of all kinds of things by .. I think it's called society. They just say.. if they don't like it,they can just kiss our asses!
:hugs:


Kelly

:iagree:

Just Passing though :heehee:, ..enough said....:)

[sandra-leigh]

And one other thing.... Those people, they aren't bothered by the opinions of others because they are used to being ridiculed and accused of all kinds of things by .. I think it's called society. They just say.. if they don't like it,they can just kiss our asses!


I got lost on the 'some people', 'these people', and 'those people', and cannot tell which group of people are being referred to in what I quoted. Interpreting 'those people' as either the draggers-down or the people who pass introduces rhetorical contradictions into what was posted (but different contradictions depending on who was being referred to.)

[gretchen_love]

Complaining is part of the human condition. If there wasn't anything to complain about or make better? What would we do with our time?

[Sally2005]

Happyness comes from accepting who you are, but set your goals too low and you will never improve or set them too high and you will feel discouraged if you can never reach them.

There is nothing wrong with all the goals you listed and being happy about your level of success is something else.

[kellycan27]

I got lost on the 'some people', 'these people', and 'those people', and cannot tell which group of people are being referred to in what I quoted. Interpreting 'those people' as either the draggers-down or the people who pass introduces rhetorical contradictions into what was posted (but different contradictions depending on who was being referred to.)

Ok, let me give you the short version. I don't give a shit what Nicole or anyone else thinks about me or how I conduct my life. And anyone, including the OP that doesn't like it can kiss my ass. That clear it up for ya?

[sandra-leigh]

Ok, let me give you the short version. I don't give a shit what Nicole or anyone else thinks about me or how I conduct my life.

Umm, are you someone who "brags" about how well you pass, or how good your life is? If not, then Nicole's "One thing that always trips me" doesn't apply to you.

To badly paraphrase a passage from Heinlein's "Time Enough For Love": Words cannot hurt the wise person, for if they are false, then they are just meaningless noise that should roll off of you without effect; and if they are true, then accepting the truth of them does not hurt you either.

[Phyliss]

I gues this is just another twist on "The grass is always greener on the other side" Possibly it is. But, as with any pasture, there's alway some unseen rough spot, or hidden hole to slip in, or even barren area normally out of sight. I know the pasture I'm in and am fully exploring it, even though I'll sometimes look with envy at the other one.

Pass, not pass, full time, some time, ... whatever. I'm happy doing what I do, and, for me, that's all that counts.

[dianne63]

I would love to know if I could pass I would also love to have the nerve just to go shopping en-femme one day I will

[Laura_Stephens]

I am one of those who believe that they were meant to be born as a GG. I do wish, on a daily basis, that a different sperm had made it to the egg first.

But, there is nothing I can do about that. Even if I went the whole surgery route, no matter what was sliced and diced, I would still have male chromosomes.

I try not to dwell on what might/could have been. However, outside of my daily life, this board is the only place -- for me -- that I can discuss it.

There is value -- very real value -- in the fact that there is a board where we can discuss how best to cope with reality; especially those of us who are deeply closeted and have no accepting relatives.

[Nicole Erin]

Umm, are you someone who "brags" about how well you pass, or how good your life is? If not, then Nicole's "One thing that always trips me" doesn't apply to you.



I mentioned no names in my OP, but I already knew who would say what. :heehee:

OK I will go head and be the one to say it -
Yes kelly you pass just SO great, now get over yourself. :brolleyes:

[Kathi Lake]

Nicole, I hope I understood your post. Also, I wonder if some of your post is directed at me (Yeah, I'm narcissistic. What of it? :)) - especially the "happy and how great life is" part. I hope my posts don't come off as bragging, and I sure as hell don't say I'm beautiful, but you know what? I am happy. Supremely happy. My life, also, is pretty darn good. I have a wonderful wife, incredible kids, a job that I love, a great church, and a hobby/lifestyle that gives me unspeakable joy. What's not to love and be happy about?

Is all of my life sunshine, kittens and rainbows? Heck no! I'm sure there are negative things in my life - negative comments from people, negative looks from those that see me dressed, negative events in my life. A least, I'm pretty sure there negative things. You see, I don't dwell on them. I don't hold on to them. Heck, I usually don't even remember them. I would much rather dwell on the positive aspects in life. If there aren't any, I go and make some. I skip through the mall with my daughter. I ride shopping carts in the store. I bake some cookies with my sons. I rub my wife's shoulders. I make my life happy.

As for the whole "passing" aspect, I certainly hope that I do pass. I hope that I pass as me.

Kathi


OK I will go head and be the one to say it -
Yes kelly you pass just SO great, now get over yourself. :brolleyes:Ouch! That's a wee bit below the belt. Kelly has to pass. She's out there every day. She doesn't have the luxury of removing her boobs and putting them back into a box, scrubbing off the makeup, removing the wig and clothes and going back to a societally-approved appearance.

Where's the love, ladies!?

Kathi

[Shelly Preston]

Some of the comments in this thread worry me

To be saying just because someone is not happy with one aspect of their lives they have other problems too seems strange

Also the comment telling them to kiss our asses is not helpful either. So many people struggle to live through comments made to them. Not everyone has an attitude of I don't care what gets said

We are here to support people in which ever way we can, not tell them they have more problems so please remember that

Yes I know emotions can run high at times

Please remember we are not all the same

[jenna_woods]

you are very right,

[victoriamwilliams1]

I make the best of what I have and do not worry about passing I am more concerned about being accepted in the public.

[JulieK1980]

I agree, I can't stand when people are dissatisfied, I find the ones who are disatisfied with others happiness the most irritating though......

[carolinoakland]

O sometimes wonder if I would have truely enjoyed my life if I'd been born a woman as much as I do now. I think that this was the lesson that Karma wanted me to learn about being a woman. The alternative is a jail sentence. I worry that I will never be perceived as a woman at first glance, but I worry less and less as the hair removal progresses. And I always remember... " We're all passable in the right lack of light." Carol

[Nicole Erin]

O sometimes wonder if I would have truely enjoyed my life if I'd been born a woman as much as I do now.

I think about that too. I don't know though, I think if I had been born female, I would probably have a really messed up life right now.

[Misty is Kindafem]

I mentioned no names in my OP, but I already knew who would say what. :heehee:

OK I will go head and be the one to say it -
Yes kelly you pass just SO great, now get over yourself. :brolleyes:

That was uncalled for. Kelly may be a bit acerbic but she's also sharp as a tack and brave as a soldier.

All of us closet queens should be thankful for the girls like Kelly. She's a trail blazer and we walk behind her blissfully ignorant of the battles she fought to clear our path. We don't see the tears and fear and taunts. We see her cute little rear and we think she's so lucky.

You think you're tough? Oh, and kicking my ass doesn't count, I'm not exactly macho in case you didn't notice. Before you criticize those brave girls who grow their hair and step into their lives as FULL TIME women you should, at the very least have the courage to post an avatar pic.

Kelly is out there without a safety net. Sure she's fabulous now, but I can't even imagine the courage and commitment she displayed a few years ago when she was just a boy.

Now she's gorgeous and goes to work and comes home and goes to bed with her fiance as a woman. This is her life, long hair, breast implants and probably SRS very soon. Her life could be made into a damn movie. She's a role model for us. We should admire her and respect her, and you know what? There's a hell of a lot of us that do, ...so maybe you should get over yourself.

-Misty

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Right on, Misty.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Kaitlyn Michele]

As for the whole "passing" aspect, I certainly hope that I do pass. I hope that I pass as me.

Kathi

Ouch! That's a wee bit below the belt. Kelly has to pass. She's out there every day. She doesn't have the luxury of removing her boobs and putting them back into a box, scrubbing off the makeup, removing the wig and clothes and gong back to a societally-approved appearance.

Where's the love, ladies!?

Kathi

That's a very knowing comment... There are also lots of us out there that are ALWAYS at risk of not passing. I don't think its right to tell somebody that is dealing with overwhelming difficulties to get over themselves for doing a great job...or even for being lucky enough to look great as a woman...and i say that even tho i'm totally jealous of some girl's beauty and grace

the better you pass, the more you like passing...whether you are cd or ts

i agree with the point of making the best of what you have....happy people tend to be happy with WHAT THEY HAVE.... we are better off being happy with what we have or at least striving for acheivable goals...pretty simple..no reason to highlight others unhappiness

if you are TRULY happy with what you have, what is the point of starting this conversation?

[JulieK1980]

That was uncalled for. Kelly may be a bit acerbic but she's also sharp as a tack and brave as a soldier.

All of us closet queens should be thankful for the girls like Kelly. She's a trail blazer and we walk behind her blissfully ignorant of the battles she fought to clear our path. We don't see the tears and fear and taunts. We see her cute little rear and we think she's so lucky.

You think you're tough? Oh, and kicking my ass doesn't count, I'm not exactly macho in case you didn't notice. Before you criticize those brave girls who grow their hair and step into their lives as FULL TIME women you should, at the very least have the courage to post an avatar pic.

Kelly is out there without a safety net. Sure she's fabulous now, but I can't even imagine the courage and commitment she displayed a few years ago when she was just a boy.

Now she's gorgeous and goes to work and comes home and goes to bed with her fiance as a woman. This is her life, long hair, breast implants and probably SRS very soon. Her life could be made into a damn movie. She's a role model for us. We should admire her and respect her, and you know what? There's a hell of a lot of us that do, ...so maybe you should get over yourself.

-Misty

I couldn't have said it better.

[vikki2020]

How many people in all of society are truly satisfied? Seems like everyone wants more. I would be happy with one million dollars, and retire tomorrow, but the guy with one million, well, he wants ten. Tiger Woods marries a supermodel, but, it ain't enough for the guy. Sometimes I think the only people that are satisfied, are the ones with nothing, and happy to have it.

[AllieSF]

Very well said Vikki. I admit it is so very difficult for me personally to just be satisfied and happy with what I have, and that is a lot.

[Sweet Jane]

I've never obssessed about passing...I guess I am who I am, and if I don't dress like a tuppeny *****, then most people never give a second glance....they just accept me for being me

[Deborah Jane]

I've given up trying to pass, now I'm just going to enjoy being myself :)

[Angie G]

I think if some one can pass and be good at it more power to them. I can't and don't even try. I let people who can have their moment in the light. It won't last forever So I don't rain on their parade.:hugs:
Angie

[sometimes_miss]

Nicole Erin wrote: So what is YOUR excuse? Why not make the best of what you have instead of worrying about what you don't or can't have?

There will always be people who will be unhappy no matter what their situation in life. But for the rest of us, who are borderline content with life, well we can always dream about having a better life, can't we? Even the lottery commercials say, 'a dollar and a dream'.

I can't speak for others.....but I grew up being told a line of bull, and planned and dreamed my life around that. By the time reality took hold, it was too late for a lot of things. And, I don't think I'm the only one who went through that. At some point in life, when certain opportunities are forever gone, all we have are dreams and fantasies.

[MJ]

That was uncalled for. Kelly may be a bit acerbic but she's also sharp as a tack and brave as a soldier.

All of us closet queens should be thankful for the girls like Kelly. She's a trail blazer and we walk behind her blissfully ignorant of the battles she fought to clear our path. We don't see the tears and fear and taunts. We see her cute little rear and we think she's so lucky.

You think you're tough? Oh, and kicking my ass doesn't count, I'm not exactly macho in case you didn't notice. Before you criticize those brave girls who grow their hair and step into their lives as FULL TIME women you should, at the very least have the courage to post an avatar pic.

Kelly is out there without a safety net. Sure she's fabulous now, but I can't even imagine the courage and commitment she displayed a few years ago when she was just a boy.

Now she's gorgeous and goes to work and comes home and goes to bed with her fiance as a woman. This is her life, long hair, breast implants and probably SRS very soon. Her life could be made into a damn movie. She's a role model for us. We should admire her and respect her, and you know what? There's a hell of a lot of us that do, ...so maybe you should get over yourself.

-Misty

well said. any of us that are full time can tell you horror stories and many of us started out in the closet

[Deidra Cowen]

I wonder if they would be happy no matter what? Like say they woke up one day and were a GG 21 year old supermodel?

I'll take that deal! :eek::devil:

[cordgrass]

LOL, y'all really are like women. Meow. Me, I'm only attracted to the ones who can't pass. IMO it's the not quite passing that makes it hot.

[Fab Karen]

If you go further than someone at a particular location, you have passed.
Unless someone were to take a poll after any of us ( whether TS or CD ) had gone by, we don't know whether we "passed" or were just accepted/tolerated. Some T-girl might be thinking "wow I passed" but the people might actually have thought "that's cool, good for them" or "it's their life, doesn't bother me."
Get out of your head and live life.