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View Full Version : Guerrilla survival tactics for the closet CD



eluuzion
12-21-2009, 07:31 AM
Ok, I am new here, and you will eventually figure out I view the world through a "cartoon logic lens"...so I might as well start out with an example.

I was reminiscing about the cough,cough….”good ole days” when I was married and chose to conceal the ah, “CD-er” side of my life from my wife/friends. I did the usual drill many here can relate. I was a corporate road (sky) warrior leaving every Sunday night and returning every Friday from Hotel life in the USA. My last task prior to leaving was always to grab the briefcase full of my “clothes” that I had stashed in the garage.

Did I ever “forget” to take that “briefcase”? Yes. Did I freak out at night in my hotel room without it? Yes, but only for about an hour. Then I went into “CD survival mode”. I did have a complimentary hotel sewing kit…and a pair of scissors with me. If I did not try to run with the scissors, I just might survive!

No, I did not resort to the always impressive, but “hygienically disgusting” collection of porn, undergarments and discards, stashed by traveling husbands/hookers in the mattress pedestal of any 5-Star hotel room. Hey, I am kinky, not crazy…lol

Within an hour, with three simple cuts, I had transformed an oversized pillowcase into a sexy looking mini-dress. I also made a nice cotton wireless bra, including the elastic band at the bottom which prevented my “tits” (plastic bags from ice bucket, filled with warm water and tied off) from falling out of the “bra-cups”…from a pair of my string-bikini cotton briefs. I resolved the “hair” issue by simply using one of the cloth room-service napkins as a stylish “bandana headscarf”.

Yes, it was a good week after all. And…yes, I did get charged for the pillowcase, which, in my opinion, produced a nice ROI.

Anyone else have any personal “TG improvising” stories to share?

Karren H
12-21-2009, 07:43 AM
Wow... Extreme! They charge you for the linnens? When ever I forget something I just go shopping for a new wardrobe..

Kate Simmons
12-21-2009, 07:54 AM
To answer your question, only in puberty when things were scarce. When I grew up I either had the stuff or didn't bother.:)

Paula_56
12-21-2009, 07:59 AM
Heck I just went shopping

MissKara
12-21-2009, 08:09 AM
Never had that issue, but thats very inventive of you :P Good going

Lots of love,
Miss Kara

Andy66
12-21-2009, 08:47 AM
Haha, gotta love a person with a cartoon logic lens. Personally, I try to be like Yoda, but sometimes come off looking like Wile E. Coyote.

You sound kinda weird... in a FUN way! :lol:

eluuzion
12-21-2009, 09:05 AM
Oops, probably should have clarified a bit. That was an isolated incident, unusual circumstances.

I think it was 93', while at an industry Expo, Bartle Hall in KC. I was staying at Hyatt/Crown Center along with all the corporate suits from my company. The whole city was saturated with vendors, reps, competitors, etc. I flew in on a corporate jet, so was stuck w/o my normal rental vehicle scenario. Plus was too paranoid of running into "somebody familiar" even if I was able to sneak enough time to venture out and "shop".

Yep, only time I can recall ever getting a hit on my room invoice for "linens" or room "decor". Mini-bar...yes, but a pillowcase? Probably because they were "designer" cases, and I was stupid enough to toss the cut off parts in the bedroom trash can. :sad:

As I said, isolated scenario from the ancient history file. I actually used to "shop" when married and I was at various cities.

I resolved all of those issues long ago. I am single, self-employed, live alone, dress daily, CD shopaholic...life is good.

docrobbysherry
12-21-2009, 11:21 AM
Glad to hear you've GRADUATED from your early "boyscout" CDing days!:thumbsup:

( Ew! Breast forms made from plastic bags filled with water!?):doh: Boy! THAT takes me back a few years!:heehee:

Mandy Burgundy
12-21-2009, 02:52 PM
Wow, MacGyver had a pink fog :heehee:
That was very crafty.

AllieSF
12-21-2009, 03:03 PM
When I travelled internationally several times last year, I made sure to bring along some different sized balloons. They served me wonderfully as my forms, with the proper shape, feel and weight, plus that nice jiggle! Once I got a couple of balloons to the right size, I just stored them in a plastic bag in the closet. When the trip was done, a well placed safety pin humanely ended their life, leaving only a trace of memories. I would have really liked to see your hotel made bra and forms. Thanks for sharing.

Natalie_393
12-21-2009, 08:59 PM
I had that problem one time, I just went out and bought one outfit, I figured nobody knows me where I was shopping I guess also If I did forget my "Other Colthes" In a case like that I think anybody here could stick it out til next time around

gretchen_love
12-21-2009, 11:11 PM
If only McGyver's mullet looked good in heels...