Am I an exhibitionist?

[minalost]

Its one thing to enjoy dressing en femme in the privacy of our homes, but why do some of us want or need (or obsess?) about “going out” while dressed up?

I must confess to being part of the latter group (obsessive that is…). I enjoy dressing in lovely feminine clothing, but once I’m dressed up it’s like, “Okay, what now?” I can lounge around the house, watch some TV, do some housework, or read my favorite forum (you guessed it: this one! :)).

But at the end of the day I feel like, as much as I truly enjoyed being dressed up :battingeyelashes:, that I missed something. And I don’t even have to wonder what I missed: I want to go out, be seen, shop till I drop, get checked out, shake my butt at the collage boy who whistled at me, talk foundation and eye shadow with the SA at the Macy’s make-up counter, try on a sexy bra or two at VS, be called ma’am, and have a door held for me by a tall handsome man (no, I’m not gay, but having a man treat me as a lady in a public setting would feel sooooo, wonderful! :o).

So, am I an exhibitionist, or do I just want to go out and be treated as a woman by the general public? The reason I can’t decide is the emotional or obsessive component to my desire to go out dressed. The girly shiver :o that would accompany most of my list of activities above seems almost sexual (sensual?) in nature. It feels like it has more to do with having someone’s eyes on me than just going out and en femme and being accepted (or at least ignored :straightface:) by the general public.

Just wanting to be accepted for who I am doesn’t seem to be it ether. It seams too “logical’ or unemotional to be obsessive behavior and clearly does not explain the “girly shiver” mentioned above.

(You’d think from the above that I go out a lot. The reality is that I’ve only been out a few times :sad:. Mostly after dark; I’ve gone for a drive, walks in the local park (small collage town so no danger of being mugged), or for walks at the local University. Doesn’t change the fact that I want to – see obsession…)

Per the Random House Webster’s Dictionary: Exhibitionism, n. a tendency to call attention to oneself, especially by exhibiting the genitals.

We may not be “exhibiting our genitals” (although I could make a case for low cut tops and large breast forms… :tongueout) per the above definition, but I would argue that I am certainly calling attention to myself.

So, what’s the verdict ladies, am I (are we?) an exhibitionist, or not? (I’m not trying to apply this definition to all of my sisters, just some of us…)

(Hmmm, am I hoping the verdict comes back exhibitionist? And if so: why? Way too much self analysis here… :tongueout)

Maybe I should just stop thinking about it and just do what comes naturally - get dressed - pass the blush please... Oh, that shade of lipstick is just perfect... :D

[jenna_woods]

you have a oint there, bit I think of it as showing off my female side, which I do often, to me its a way of life now,

[Joanne f]

I am sure that there are many exhibitionist`s but for a lot the reason for wanting to go out or meet others to gain an acceptance of what and who you are which you can only really do in the company of others , you can accept what you are yourself at any time or place but some need that extra acceptance of others .

[Jannis]

Minalost, Yes. I have the same feelings when I dress. The old "well, what's next?' feelings you describe. I think it is just wanting the whole enchilada. We wish to experience not just the feelings associated with wearing the clothes, but also do many of the things women do when they are out in public that gives them that special femme feeling. Shopping for makeup, clothes, shoes and jewelry. It would not be the same if we dressed and went to the home center to pick up some caulk or paint thinner. We also take pleasure in having others notice us as we would look at a pretty girl. We want to feel what a woman feels like when admired by a stranger. Rather titillating isn't it? So, exhibitionism be damned, it is all fun and gives us the warm, fuzzy, feel good emotion we are seeking.

[SuzanneBender]

It would not be the same if we dressed and went to the home center to pick up some caulk or paint thinner.

Not in my case. I love being out en femme no matter where I go. In fact, being dressed doing the most routine tasks are when I feel most at ease and feminine.

I feel being out and about dressed for most transgendered folks is more about acceptance rather than showing off. Although, I have seen sisters in total hoochie mama outfits that just scream notice me (Its been me once or twice). That may be more about exhibitionism, but I am not sure.

[charlie]

Hello Mina!
I don't think I'm just being an exhibitionist when I go out. The progression is just like you said though. I used to get dressed and then say now what. That drove me outside. Then just running around at night seemed useless so I went to gay bars where I would be more accepted. From that I got some confidence (acceptance, tips on improving and compliments) and went anywhere I wanted. I now feel 85% confident when out. I feel like myself in drab going out. I don't think of it as being an exhibitionist, more like just being me and doing things that I want to do....albeit dressed in femme and looking pretty!

[Rianna Humble]

I don't think that I go out to be an exhibitionist, its just that I want to feel good when I go out, so I go out dressed.

Last weekend was heavenly - only having to go en drab when it concerned work, Even there I pushed the envelope by changing after I got to the office.

True, I got some sideways glances, but it was made worth it when a street trader kept calling me "madam". Even then, I did not do it for that - I just want to be free to be me.

[sherri52]

Mina I don't think that many of us feel like exhibitionists. We want to go out dressed and be excepted by those around us as being female. Some of us just want to be accepted while enfemme even if we don't pass. The key word here is acceptance

[Sonia Greene]

I suspect you agonise on the "why" too much Mina!

You enjoy doing it. So do many other Tgirls. Just do it, as someone said once or twice......

I do. It's wonderful.

I agree strongly with Sherri. We need general acceptance, without question, when out there.

[minalost]

Oh I agree with Sherri too, Sonia, but under "my obsessions" add: figuring out why I do stuff (and it's not just my CDing...).

That being said, I do think there is a little of the exhibitionist in me. I was just wondering if any of our sisters felt the same way :daydreaming:.

[DeeInGeorgia]

You don't think any young GG in a skimpy G-string bikini is not an exhibitionist?

Lets face it many girls, GG or not, are exhibitionists to at least some small extent.

Dee

[Paula_56]

No-- We go outside to validate our feminine persona. We need that feedback. We as humans are social

[dilane]

I think there's a natural continuum that runs from not caring a bit how one looks in public, to deciding to disturb the universe, attract attention, scorn, praise, derision, etc.

I can't exactly define where exibitionism comes in to play, but to quote Justice Potter Stewart: " ... but I know it when I see it." But I'll give it a shot below ...

When we go out and about, most don't want to stand out, especially in a way that attracts negative attention: no torn and stained clothing, reasonably well groomed, not smelly, etc. This concern to just blend in is anti-exhibitionistic.

Among the attention seekers, there are at least three types I notice:
1) we seek positive, admiring attention.
This might mean being perfectly turned out, accenting an especially good feature (eyes, figure, trim body, muscular body, etc).

I don't consider this exhibitionism.

2) we try to look sexy -- looking for something beyond just a "she looks nice". This would encompass the typical "T-girl uniform" you see in the T-friendly clubs: skirts and dresses half way up the thigh, maximal attainable clevage, false eyelashes, 5" heels. It's typical garb for a T-club, but excessive (and I'd say exhibitionistic) in the "real world".

This is second degree exhibitionism in my book.

3) we want to grab their attention by deliberately being strange or unusual (in the eyes of the average Joe or Josie).

This includes gender-blending (some call it something stronger), and in some cases, a studied disregard at any attempt to pass. This draws gawking stares, and does so intentionally. I remember one T-girl who went out with stubble, garish makeup, chest hair, awful hair, a symphony of almost assaultive disregard for ordinary female presentation.

In the non-gender world, we have the dye-hard (intentionally misspelled) devotees of red and purple mohawks, pierced everything, tats everywhere (even creative shapes like a turd I saw on an otherwise beautiful young woman)

This is exhibitionism in the first degree.

[Kate Simmons]

There are many different reasons why one wishes to draw attention to themself my friend.:)

[Tiff Rivera]

Its not about being an exhibitionist, at least not for me.

As a friend once put it to me when I asked this question: "Wouldn't you want to get out of the house if you were stuck inside all the time? With no one to talk to, share common interest or even see out the window?

Made sense to me at the time and its what I want to do, get out of the house and do things

[AllieSummers]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2700/4132355192_56fa9a1f44.jpg

There is no doubt that I am an exhibitionist.

The other night we were at a club in Dallas. It was kinda early and there were probably 40 or 50 people just milling around the dance floor chatting and stuff. In the middle of the floor was a small stage like they have at the Olympics, with three levels. I'm not sure why it was there.

Anyway, I walked into the club with my wife and 4 girl friends of mine.

I walked right out on the dance floor, stepped up on the top level of the stage and started dancing my little heart out.

I would look around the outside edge of the floor and watch people watching me. I'd make eye contact and then kinda give them a little personal show directed to them.

I regularly am the first one on the floor. I just strut right out there and do my thing.

I would never have done that a few years ago. Now I get a real "charge" out of it. I know that the confidence it takes to do something like that attracts people. I have people come up to me all night long and comment because I am comfortable with being the center of attention.

I'll be the first to tell you that I am actually very humble and will generally never toot my own horn. But I guess I show off for people so they will toot it for me.

It is probably a combination exhibitionism and narcissism.

Funny because I am really very shy and really care about others more than myself. Maybe it is my way of coping with those feelings of inferiority. To do things to draw attention to myself so they will compliment me.

It is like...why did I respond to this message. Was is to help others or to show off and get more attention?

Who knows?

Kisses,

Allie

[minalost]

Allie, if I looked half a good as you do I'd show it off too!

[rocketscientist]

Mina, I figured it out! You wanna be Kathi Lake! But hey, who doesn't? Lol

[dilane]

It is like...why did I respond to this message. Was is to help others or to show off and get more attention?
Allie

Yes :)

[eluuzion]

With the understanding there are individual motivations always at play, I think there is also some commonality to the cause.

As suggested, it is a natural "progression" in part. When you were a kid, lot of dreams were not possible (like buying everything in a candy store). Then, you grow up and become able to do just that, only to find the interest is a bit "aged" and you progress to higher levels to kindle the "fire". (now you are in Victoria Secret, lol).

Another major factor is curiosity. We all would like to think we are "passable" to some degree. At some point, some of us cannot resist the thrill of actually seeing how "true" that is. It is similar to that first time, when you finally pushed that keyboard key...and the pic of the CD appeared on your screen. What a rush...

just a thought...