I just can't do it

[pamela_a]

I know I need an advance medical directive and a will so I purchased some software to help me write them. Doing the medical directive and will for Pamela wasn't a problem. But since my name/gender change isn't final yet I though about doing one in "his" name too, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can enter "his" name but I cannot bring myself to select "male". I'm not male, he is and I'm not him. Pam's is done and ready to go...sure hope I don't get hit by a bus soon.

[Nicole Erin]

Well, so the name change and legal gender change is done?
I mean might as well make sure those are changed to female so you don't run into problems.

[Sharon]

Can you download the form to your word processor and where it has "gender," type in "as of (the date) - mentally and emotionally a female, physically a male" or something to that effect? I have no idea what you're working with and I'm as far from a computer-savvy person as there is, but there must be a way to edit in a space larger than what is normally created to type in a "M" or a "F." And for your name, put either your current non-legal name or your legal name in parentheses.

[AllieSF]

It must be tough especially when that name change means so much to you and others who have done that. I see it as a milestone that represents one more item accomplished along that road to being the real you openly and legally. I know that it hurts to write in your male name. However, the legality of that document could be questioned and may delay and cause significanly higher probate costs to straighten it all out. Since you can basically write a will in your own words, I think that you can easily add words in this pro forma document that as of the present, your legal name is this, and that you are in the process of changing that name legally to you new name. That covers the facts and gives people the heads up that if something happens to you after your legal name change and before you change your will, these are your "of sane mind" intentions. Sometimes a small sacrifice/compromise makes the bigger goal easier to reach. Good luck.

[sherri52]

Just leave areference from him to Pamela with instructions to follow the will as written.

[Melissa A.]

Things can always be changed later. my mother asked me something like that recently, and since my name change isnt done yet, I told her to use my legal name just in case, and I'll let her know when to change it. But I can totally understand not being able to do it, Pam. You're where you are and don't want to go back. Nor do I. I sign all my credit card reciepts "Melissa" and if anyone asks about the discrepancy, I tell them that's between me and my bank, thank you very much.

Hugs,

Melissa:)