Crossdressers, how do you want us men to treat you in public?

[seanmuscle]

I see crossdressers in public but I am not sure how to treat them. Do you ladies like to be addressed as a woman, have guys opening your doors, let you go first etc...

[DanaR]

If you were in their shoes, how would you like to be treated?

[DaisyG]

Dana says it all.

Daisy

[Shikyo]

If you were in their shoes, how would you like to be treated?

One couldn't have said this any better. Treat others like you would want them to treat you.

[TNRobin]

Just treat us as you would any other woman to include addressing us as women, ma'am or whatever. Passable or not when I'm dressed I like to be treated as a woman.

[CamillaCD]

I think most would appreciate being treated like a woman. For me it is not a big deal. Being friendly and respecting my choice of clothing is good enough.

[Lessa Lynn Young]

Preferably with the same respect you would treat anyone else.

So basically what they said ^ :love:

[seanmuscle]

If you were in their shoes, how would you like to be treated?

Well I was mainly referring to how you ladies want to be treated gender wise. Even if I was dressed in drag I would not want somebody to treat me as a woman. But it may be different for you guys.

[Hope]

I see crossdressers in public but I am not sure how to treat them. Do you ladies like to be addressed as a woman, have guys opening your doors, let you go first etc...

The general rule of thumb is to treat a person they way they present themselves. If some one presents themselves as a man, you treat them like a man, if they present themselves as a woman, you treat them as a woman. This is just like calling people by the name they want to be called by, and prevents you from having to make a lot of guesses and inappropriate body cavity searches.


If you were in their shoes, how would you like to be treated?

And here is where the golden rule breaks down. There are a LOT of guys in the world (some of them even on this forum) who would never want to be identified as a woman, no matter what they were wearing. I on the other hand would rather be identified as a woman no matter what I am wearing. If I apply my rules to others - hilarity will ensue.

Perhaps a better rule would be to treat others as they wish to be treated. Of course - sometimes we don't know how others wish to be treated and so we are back at square one. In any case, we could all probably be a little less sensitive when some one is making a good faith effort to figure us out and gets it wrong. Of course - if they are intentionally being jerks - let 'um have it.

[seanmuscle]

The general rule of thumb is to treat a person they way they present themselves. If some one presents themselves as a man, you treat them like a man, if they present themselves as a woman, you treat them as a woman. This is just like calling people by the name they want to be called by, and prevents you from having to make a lot of guesses and inappropriate body cavity searches.



And here is where the golden rule breaks down. There are a LOT of guys in the world (some of them even on this forum) who would never want to be identified as a woman, no matter what they were wearing. I on the other hand would rather be identified as a woman no matter what I am wearing. If I apply my rules to others - hilarity will ensue.

Perhaps a better rule would be to treat others as they wish to be treated. Of course - sometimes we don't know how others wish to be treated and so we are back at square one. In any case, we could all probably be a little less sensitive when some one is making a good faith effort to figure us out and gets it wrong. Of course - if they are intentionally being jerks - let 'um have it.

You summed it up baby. Thats what I wanted to know. It seems like the majority of CDs like to be treated as women.

thanks!

[Paula_56]

respect

[SweetCaroline]

I agree, treat us like any other woman, however, I don't feel that means treating us "special" or differently, just the same as anyone else. Not all GG want the extra attention from men, some girls love it. It is all a matter of respect and getting a feel for how a person wants to be treated, which you wont really know until you interact with them. Crossdressers are individuals too, and we're all a little different.

But the basic part is to just treat us like anyone else, and to use the same female terms as you would a genetic woman.

[Kate Simmons]

How do I want to be treated? Sweetly, Hon, sweetly.:)

[Emma England]

Both men and women are equal in the world.

Therefore, both genders should be treated with respect, regardless of how you are dressed.

[Miranda09]

Very simple...just treat us with respect. :)

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah just like you would any lady.
And, if you are interested in dating a CD/TS, then approach her as you would any other woman.

I doubt if any CD/TS out there would be upset if you were to treat her like a lady. Being CD is a femme personna. I mean you are not gonna have a man in a dress get upset if you called her "she" or "ma'am".

[Marcie4you]

I'm a Lady, and expect to be treated as such! Wouldn't you like a lady to treat you with love and respect?

[KellyWannabe]

What about in private? :heehee:

[Nicole Erin]

What about in private? :heehee:

Some of us, in private, wanted to be treated like...
WAIT, We can't use that word here!

[Karren H]

I want to be treated like crap and called names and beat up! But that's just me!

[Marcie4you]

You're BAD to the bone Karen! :)

[cordgrass]

What about women? Should I act like a man when I'm with a CD I'm romantically interested in? I'm very confused.

[Samantha43]

I guess I'm different than most of the ladies here. I'm a guy and I like being treated as a guy. I just have a different preference in clothing than most guys.

Being treated like a lady makes me uncomfortable. And whatever you do.......don't smack me on the ass.

Wait....that was a sexist comment, wasn't it? :tongueout

[Daniela76]

Does this mean I'm gonna have to quit holding doors for people when I'm dressed as a woman? Nah, I still love being courteous. That's what comes from being raised by women who teach respect.

Oh and if I'm holding doors for people I let the whole family go through. And if I'm really generous I stand there for a few extra seconds if I see someone worthwhile coming. By worthwhile I mean a woman, elderly, handicapped, child, decent looking guy who I think would do the same. Getto boy punks don't usually get the door held for them very long from me.

You know what's a funny kind thing to say to people? Automatic doors! If you are just ahead of someone who you think would love to have a door held for them, make sure and let them pass once you are inside the door. Then say, "thought I'd get the door for you." I've done that a couple times and had very appreciative looks/comments.

[Kate Simmons]

I want to be treated like crap and called names and beat up! But that's just me!Doesn't that happen when you play hockey?:heehee:

[MelanieP]

Normally, as a man, then I get treated as such. So if I present myself as Melanie, a woman, then...? Seems pretty self evident to me.

Now if a guy is dressed in womens clothes but not presenting themselves as such- in terms of their name, mannerisms, overall gender identity, then you would treat them as a man.

There is a difference between a man dressing as a woman vs a man identifying themselves and presenting as a woman.

Melanie

[MarciManseau]

Spoil me, shower me with diamonds and designer clothes :) Take me to Europe on your private jet! :devil:

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[kellycan27]

Doesn't that happen when you play hockey?:heehee:

Maybe that's why Karren plays hockey!

[Holly]

If I am dressed as a lady, presenting as a lady, and acting as a lady, then treat me as a lady.

[TGMarla]

Simple. I want to be treated as a lady, with courtesy and respect. In return, I will treat you with courtesy and respect as well.

[AmandaM]

Chivalry is not dead! Treat me as a cultured refined woman. I'll try to act like one. :)

[Deidra Cowen]

If out at a crowded mall, grocery, etc. Just smile, say hello at the most and let me keep on doing my thing. Generally I am trying to blend in and not get noticed as being a CD/TV when out in public.

But I'm just a B- at that, too much chatting with my deep voice, or creating a scene where people start to notice my full coverage makeup, wig, hmmm pretty damn tall.....well the gig is up and they read me and I hate being a side-show. Well sometimes I am just a wild Tgirl and don't care, but i pick my battles and venues for that act.

At da club, come up say hi and we will have a nice chat! LOL

[lawnmanmo]

As a gentleman admirer who loves this lifestyle and who has enjoyed the company of many CD friends over the years, I have learned that respect and honesty are very important. I treat people as a whole with the same treatment that I want to be treated with. When it comes to CDs, especially those that are deeper into the CD lifestyle, it is usually on the level of a man entertaining and respecting a natural women. I enjoy making my CD friends feel the experience of being a women. In most cases, I have been told that after a date or a meeting, my friends always tell me that they never felt as feminine as I had made them feel. Thats how you make CDs feel.
Jerry

[Barbara918]

There is a difference between a man dressing as a woman vs a man identifying themselves and presenting as a woman.

And I am generally in the former category. (Does that make me a trans-former?)

[Carol123]

As a Lady of course:heehee:

[seanmuscle]

If out at a crowded mall, grocery, etc. Just smile, say hello at the most and let me keep on doing my thing. Generally I am trying to blend in and not get noticed as being a CD/TV when out in public.

But I'm just a B- at that, too much chatting with my deep voice, or creating a scene where people start to notice my full coverage makeup, wig, hmmm pretty damn tall.....well the gig is up and they read me and I hate being a side-show. Well sometimes I am just a wild Tgirl and don't care, but i pick my battles and venues for that act.

At da club, come up say hi and we will have a nice chat! LOL

Wow Deidra you are a very beautiful woman. Look like a classy MILF. I appreciate the help you ladies have given me. I understand some of you are sensitive about these issues and I truly understand as society does not accept CDs too well.

[jenna_woods]

just treat us as any other women,

[linnea]

i see crossdressers in public but i am not sure how to treat them. Do you ladies like to be addressed as a woman, have guys opening your doors, let you go first etc...

yes.

[Empress Lainie]

:2c: Since I live as and present as a woman, I always want to be treated as a beautiful lady (whether you think so or not!), and yes, I DO like guys to open doors for me and do other sweet things, and I eat up compliments like candy.

(I'm TS not CD, but thought I might as well contribute my:2c:
Shouldn't that be .20 with inflation!

[Rachel Morley]

Yes, I agree with everyone else. When I'm dressed and trying my best to present as a woman, cut me some slack, even if I don't "cut the mustard" ... please, I would very much like it if you still treat me as you would any other genetic woman.

[Shikyo]

:2c: Since I live as and present as a woman, I always want to be treated as a beautiful lady (whether you think so or not!), and yes, I DO like guys to open doors for me and do other sweet things, and I eat up compliments like candy.

(I'm TS not CD, but thought I might as well contribute my:2c:
Shouldn't that be .20 with inflation!

*giggles* I don't think you're all alone with this. Myself(also living as a girl full time), I love the feeling as well.

Though I do admit that the "compliments" can be rather creepy sometimes like when a customer calls you honey.

[Veronica 1]

I see crossdressers in public but I am not sure how to treat them. Do you ladies like to be addressed as a woman, have guys opening your doors, let you go first etc...

Politely
and fem.

[Fab Karen]

Like a queen ( regal, not gay slang ) :)
How would you treat a GG? That's what to think of when out with us or meeting us.



I want to be treated like crap and called names and beat up! But that's just me!
Isn't that why you got married?:D

[Monica93304]

I want to be treated like crap and called names and beat up! But that's just me!

Is that why you love hockey??

[noeleena]

HI..
Well i m just a woman & i dress accordingly except when i m working in the building or doing related work . that s part of my background . & even now i still swing a hammer . so i still get the respect as a woman . & i can still pull rank .

As a woman i belong to a number of groups . & i am treated as any other woman . i have no problems at all . & even where we live we have a hard core group of guys & even they treat me as a woman . & they if it was needed would stand no rubbish from those who were inclined to treat me other wise .
So yes i have respect for who i am ....
For a guy some times you will find we as women do think differently . & do things differently . thats how we are wired . & what i would like to see is that we can walk down any street go any where . & not have to look over our shoulders to check. if some one is following us with intent of doing some thing to us .
That. is part of the respect we would like to see . & out alone at night ...
To open doors & say hi is nice . To have trust that you guys will not molest us would be so much nicer .

That is the respect we would like . so really this is to all men . not just those we know .

...noeleena...

[Sandy094]

If you don't like the way I look or what I do just keep walking but but when dressed up yes i do like to have the door held for me and treated as any women would be treated.:2c:

[paulaluvssz8]

Well as for me. Since I'm not out. I'd say that if I were, that I'd want to be treated like everybody else. Make no difference with me or anyother woman or man you would encounter.. I'd just be happy to get to go out dressed....

[Molly17]

What about women? Should I act like a man when I'm with a CD I'm romantically interested in? I'm very confused.
Unless they're bi, and bi as in more interested in men than women, then no, it's one of the worst things you could do (at least in my opinion).

[sherri52]

Treat us like ladies, that is how we dressed.

[Brandi Wyne]

Perhaps it might depend on the CDs perspective. If the CD views himself as a man in womens clothes, it's probably going to be awkward to be treated as femme. If, on the other hand, she is femme when dresed then she should be accorded the courtesies of a woman.

Oh, Karen, that's why I always carry personal protection when out in femme, and I don't mean condoms.:heehee:

[Karren H]

Doesn't that happen when you play hockey?:heehee:

Maybe that's why I love hockey and crossdressing so much.. All those simularities! :D



Oh, Karen, that's why I always carry personal protection when out in femme, and I don't mean condoms.:heehee:

Always have a small hockey stick in my purse... Just in case there's a fight and a hockey game breaks out!

[seanmuscle]

just like you should treat any other women with respect..but by the way you are asking I noticed some lack of the last thing

No need to get hissy. Everybody else has answered respectfully and you should too.

[MistyCD]

Don't stare !

[jenniferishappy]

hi sean
you are the first person to post the term 'milf' and to comment about 'beating the crap' out of someone for making a comment to a CD'er you were standing up for. on one hand some of your posts seem genuine and then a couple just seem off base. i hope you are sincere and maybe just a little unfiltered in the terms you choose to post, some folks are just like that. not judging you, just throwing it out there. you are quite possibly a very what you see is what you get kind of guy. in the end we CD'ers are all men dressed as women, not genetic girls. so there is a real mixed bag of life experience, some of it very rough, tough and tumble (from combat vets to diesel mechanics) in addition to our strong feminine side. just hope you are sincere as this is our refuge and as you said, very sensitive issue in society for many. even if our male side is capably masculine, our feminine is usually fragile.

[seanmuscle]

hi sean
you are the first person to post the term 'milf' and to comment about 'beating the crap' out of someone for making a comment to a CD'er you were standing up for. on one hand some of your posts seem genuine and then a couple just seem off base. i hope you are sincere and maybe just a little unfiltered in the terms you choose to post, some folks are just like that. not judging you, just throwing it out there. you are quite possibly a very what you see is what you get kind of guy. in the end we CD'ers are all men dressed as women, not genetic girls. so there is a real mixed bag of life experience, some of it very rough, tough and tumble (from combat vets to diesel mechanics) in addition to our strong feminine side. just hope you are sincere as this is our refuge and as you said, very sensitive issue in society for many. even if our male side is capably masculine, our feminine is usually fragile.

Ya I respect you alot. Well you know guys. By MILF we just mean hot, mature woman lol. Ya well I hate to see people picked on because they are different so I will always defend them.

you are cute by the way

[Kendra (Tx)]

Don't stare !And don't drool...:heehee:

I'm going along with the majority here...I'd like to be treated as a lady if I'm presenting as a lady,plain and simple....If a gentleman wants to open a door for me...no problem...Help me with my coat...again..no problem...Strike up a conversation with me and flatter me with complements on how I look or my choice of accessories....no problem....On the other hand if a guy decides to nudge me in the shoulder and say "howz it going fella"...Then we have a problem.....:Angry3:... Hopefully that wouldn't happen...As it has been so far in my travels....It's all been towards the positive....:battingeyelashes:

http://kendra954.com

[lawnmanmo]

Now that you all expressed how you would all like to be treated, the BIG question is would you actually go out with a man even if it were a day at the mall

[sometimes_miss]

You summed it up baby. Thats what I wanted to know. It seems like the majority of CDs like to be treated as women.
Some of us don't. We just want to be left alone by guys.



What about women? Should I act like a man when I'm with a CD I'm romantically interested in? I'm very confused.
How else would you act? But again, it's going to be touchy as to whether the CD'er is interested in men or not. You won't be able to tell by what we're wearing, or in most cases, how we act, because a lot of us are trying on all kinds of feminine behaviors, even though we're not trying to attract men at all.


There is a difference between a man dressing as a woman vs a man identifying themselves and presenting as a woman
This will be the hardest thing to deal with. Most men have no clue as to all the subtle body language that goes into how women go about attracting men, and a lot of CD'ers will inadvertantly give off signals that we don't really want to, simply because we're trying to emulate behavior that we see women do, in an attempt to be more like them. Basically, if a CD'er isn't smiling directly at you and looking you over enticingly, he's probably not interested in you sexually or romantically.



Don't stare !
That would be all I could ask. But then again, there will be some CD'ers that want the attention (drag queens usually like attention).

Just like regular male/female interactions, it's a confusing world out there. If you're a guy who is sexually and romantically interested in crossdressers, just remember that just like real girls, no one is attracted to everyone. If you see a CD'er you like, approach and say hi. If he's not interested in you, you'll get short or one word answers to your questions, and he won't look at you much. If he smiles and moves closer, and asks questions to you as well, then you can continue the conversation and see where it goes.

[MaryAnn40c]

If you have to ask then why not just buzz out!!!!

[bridget jones]

You are exactly right Barbara,we are women and this woman is looking to be treated like a lady by a real man.

[AmandaM]

Don't stare !

Hey fella! My eyes are up here!

[marny]

Treat me like a human being. i am.

[SuzanneBender]

Sean I for one appreciate you asking the question. I am going along with the crowd on this one.

First treat me like a human. Smile, be cordial, comment on the weather. Just notice me like you notice anyone else.

Treat me like a lady. I present as a lady and really hate it when others dismiss that role for my biology.

Last just because I dress doesn't mean that I am easy and want to sleep with others. It amazes me when you go to T friendly clubs they are full of men that think every guy in a skirt is cruising. In fact it is the exact opposite.

Ohhh and diamonds, expensive dresses, and exotic trips (not erotic) would also be nice. :daydreaming:

[Tracii G]

What does MILF really mean?
I have heard it used just never knew what it ment.
As for me well you better treat me with respect for me to return it.
You act like a jerk and I will treat you like one.
I would hate to be confronted dressed and have to go off on a guy I might break a nail.:D

[Lush2faded]

WHEN iM DRESSED UP AS A GiRL i LOVE TO BE TREATED AS A GiRL;; A LADY. i LOVE MEN TO BE MEN, AND ACT LiKE MEN, WHEN iM DRESSED UP! WHEN iM NOT,, AND iM A BOY i LiKE TO BE TREATED AS A GUY. LOL. (:

[seanmuscle]

I am not getting hissy I just don't like the way that you are asking the question... I found the way you are doing it kind of insensitive when you said .... crossdresers how do you like us men to treat you in public... for starters I dont want to be adressed as simple crossdreser when asked a question.... at least here I am trying to be a girl and I think you should respect that.. we know what we are...I dont think we need anybody to remind us :hugs:

Wow you have issues then. The website URL is crossdressers.com. This site was made by crossdressers, for crossdressers. To discuss and learn. Crossdressers will often have different psychology than a genetic girl. If you have read any of my posts it pertains to how CDs want to be treated gender wise. And if you have read the other opinions here you would know that not all CDs want chivalry or to be addressed as mrs/miss etc...


Sean I for one appreciate you asking the question. I am going along with the crowd on this one.

First treat me like a human. Smile, be cordial, comment on the weather. Just notice me like you notice anyone else.

Treat me like a lady. I present as a lady and really hate it when others dismiss that role for my biology.

Last just because I dress doesn't mean that I am easy and want to sleep with others. It amazes me when you go to T friendly clubs they are full of men that think every guy in a skirt is cruising. In fact it is the exact opposite.

Ohhh and diamonds, expensive dresses, and exotic trips (not erotic) would also be nice. :daydreaming:

Great answer beautiful. Yes I like to court my ladies and spoil them. Buy them flowers, take them dancing. You are every mans dream girl.

[Shikyo]

What does MILF really mean?
I have heard it used just never knew what it ment.
As for me well you better treat me with respect for me to return it.
You act like a jerk and I will treat you like one.
I would hate to be confronted dressed and have to go off on a guy I might break a nail.:D

What wikipedia says... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MILF)

[Jilmac]

Just treat us with the same respect and dignity you would give to any other woman.

[Karen564]

Unfortunately Sean, this leaves me out then, since I'm not a CDer anymore..:heehee:

But I would imagine most of them would like to be treated like any self respecting woman would like to be treated, and by doing that, it certainly would make their dream come true, unless of course they were homophobic about being with a guy...

[i_am_stefani]

Please just treat me normally. I don't mind if you stare, but please, please, please, don't view me as an object of ridicule.

[Christina Horton]

Well I was mainly referring to how you ladies want to be treated gender wise. Even if I was dressed in drag I would not want somebody to treat me as a woman. But it may be different for you guys.

Ok first if your not a CD then why are you here. Are you just wanting to educate yourself for no other reason then just be able to understand us better or cuz you know someone who is CD TG TV E.T.C.. If so then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If your interested in wearing women's clothes then ask what you need and we will try to answer all your Questions. But please for what ever reason your here thank you for wanting to understand us.

Second when you treat us out in public just treat us like ladies. If you treat women like princesses then just like that. True if you went out dressed you would not like to be treated like a lady BUT that's not why we do it.

One other thing Please don't call us GUYS here. address as as lady's , girls babe's etc . Anything fem will do we like to here it as much as we can. Of course that's just a general rule but it will work for the lot of us girls.

SO thank you again for trying to understand us.:kiss:

[Karen564]

Ok first if your not a CD then why are you here. Are you just wanting to educate yourself for no other reason then just be able to understand us better or cuz you know someone who is CD TG TV E.T.C.. If so then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If your interested in wearing women's clothes then ask what you need and we will try to answer all your Questions. But please for what ever reason your here thank you for wanting to understand us.

Second when you treat us out in public just treat us like ladies. If you treat women like princesses then just like that. True if you went out dressed you would not like to be treated like a lady BUT that's not why we do it.

One other thing Please don't call us GUYS here. address as as lady's , girls babe's etc . Anything fem will do we like to here it as much as we can. Of course that's just a general rule but it will work for the lot of us girls.

SO thank you again for trying to understand us.:kiss:

He's an admirer, and there's no problem with him being here as long as he's respectful, which he has been...and he doesn't have to be TG to be in here either..

[livinggingerly]

Why would we go to so much trouble trying to emulate real women if we do not want to be treated as such?

[carhill2mn]

Samantha, based upon your photo, I think that you will have a difficult time being treated "as a guy" (grin).
Me, I love to be treated as a lady! Today I had several such experiences!

[Kate Simmons]

Ya know this whole issue is a multiple edged sword because by saying we want to be treated as women when dressed as women by men who we want to act as men we are perpetuating the very role stereotypes we say work against us as TG people. The bottom line is we can't have it both ways so have to make up our minds how we want it, no? I say forget the stereotypes and show respect for each other as people, presentation notwithstanding. Maybe we'd make better progress as a community that way.:)

[docrobbysherry]

Wait until you're in the NEXT ROOM, before u start laffing!:heehee:

I MEAN IT!:Angry3:

[MsJanessa]

I want to be treated like crap and called names and beat up! But that's just me!

Sounds like you want a date with Me---lol

[Desiree8]

Sean... as all the other ladies have said respect is the biggest thing. Treat us w/ respect, and equality. I love having the door opened for me, and going first. Personally, i like to think the boys are checking out my butt and legs... :heehee:
Just treat us as you would any other person, friendly, respectfully, and humanely.
Good Question! Thanks for having the courage to ask!
:hugs: