dating advice please?

[cordgrass]

I suppose I should have introduced myself in the new member section, but I wanted to post my question right away. I found this forum by searching on "dating a crossdresser." I am female, born female, and the last couple years I have realized that most men just don't do it for me. I've never been with a crossdressing man, but I really really want to try it. I went to a local drag show last winter hoping to meet CD's, but the only people dressed were the performers and the waitresses. I also went online to various CD websites and tentatively posted my interest, but was quite overwhelmed with the responses from all over the country and just didn't respond. Finally I bit the bullet this week and did a local posting. I thought I would ease into it, with a no pressure sort of light fling. However, within hours I got a response from the most dreamy man imaginable. He's so handsome and so lovely dressed, and very well educated, and respectful and in all ways someone my mother would consider "a catch". I've done the whole marriage thing so finding the perfect husband is the last thing on my mind, but the idea of an intellectual equal is very appealing. Well anyhow, I am quite nervous and don't want to blow this, and I want to ask for tips on dating.

How does a woman date a CD? I think we will be meeting up initially with him "en femme." Do I take the man's role? Should I take things slower than I normally would? Will he be judging me on what I wear more than most men? I'm sort of at sea. Please help. :)

[Kate Simmons]

Just be yourself Hon. What I've found out from experience (sometimes hard experience) is to build a good friendship first. A solid friendship is unshakable and will withstand things a romance cannot. Take it from a person who found that out the hard way.:)

[Karren H]

Welcome.... Were just like anyone else... And hopefully you can find someone and build a relationship on something more than just crossdressing! We have other interest too.. Like ice hockey! You like ice hockey? :) Sorry. My wife won't let me date! Lol.

[cordgrass]

I should hope so! Since my interest in women's clothes is as low as my interest in men in women's clothes is high.

It definitely wouldn't be "myself" to go slow and build up a friendship, I am rather naturally aggressive, but I will make the effort to pace things. Thank you for the advice.

[Tiff Rivera]

Just be yourself Hon. What I've found out from experience (sometimes hard experience) is to build a good friendship first. A solid friendship is unshakable and will withstand things a romance cannot. Take it from a person who found that out the hard way.:)


I agree, be yourself and build that friendship!



Welcome.... Were just like anyone else... And hopefully you can find someone and build a relationship on something more than just crossdressing! We have other interest too.. Like ice hockey! You like ice hockey? :) Sorry. My wife won't let me date! Lol.

Karen hit it right on the nose, build a relationship on more than just crossdressing!

Be yourself! Just like we're doing!

:hugs: :welcom:

[sherri]

Everybody's different, but I don't think there's any need to adopt an unnatural role. That said, I know that some of us would enjoy a relationship in which the GG plays a more assertive, dominant role than might be normal in a hetero dating situation, but nothing too over the top.

[Miranda09]

Hi Cordgrass and welcome. I agree with those posted already...just be yourself, don't take on any "roles", and just get to know the individual. Everything else will come naturally. I hope it works out well for you. :)

[carolinoakland]

Well, you'll be two girls together. Having coffee, dinner, or what ever. Just be yourself and treat her like her. And you are a dream come true for many a cd, the worlds you're oyster sweetie. Carol

[Alicia_lynn419]

Hello and welcome! PLEASE.. just be YOU. I'll bet that's all he would want...a lady who is accepting of him... if anything, just start out as 2 girl friends. Be yourself, make him feel at ease... go with the flow.... BTW, do you have a sister? LOL!

[cordgrass]

I don't think I could quite pull off the "two girls together" thing because I'm not at all bisexual. Quite the contrary! I will be thinking about his male equipment and the contrast. I will at least try to take things slowly, however, as that seems to be the consensus.

[Nicole Erin]

Not a whole lot of GG's are interested in CD's, so I would say you kind of have your pick of the choice.

[cordgrass]

I think that might be true. This guy would normally be completely out of my league.

A technical question, reading more on this forum--I'm naturally a very sexual sort of woman and on occasion men I've been with have become arroused just being near me. What happens if a man is "tucked" and gets an erection? Will he be in pain? I don't want to cause pain! Well at least not that sort of pain. :D

[Lorileah]

right now 30 people on this forum are thinking "Do you have a sister?"

If your personalities click, you won't pay much attention to the clothes anyway. Well except tho fluff her wig or touch up her lipstick before you go out to dinner

[AmandaM]

Just be yourself. If you are naturally aggressive, and he is naturally submissive. Wow! If you're both aggressive, well, don't break the bed!

[MJ]

relax enjoy your time out and talk, talk, talk. thats how you get to know someone and be honest form the get go :straightface:

[Daniela76]

First off, if you do really like him, don't let him go if he thinks you don't want to be "with" him as a woman. Talk it out & work out baby steps. For straight CD's, that might be one of the biggest fantasies. Maybe you'll change your mind if you fall in love with him.

Also remember that he's still genetically male. He's still going to think like a guy sometimes, which it sounds like you want in some ways. But we guys can be jerks sometimes. Remember to talk sweetly to him when he does that.

Also the turning him on issue? Ask him how he feels about it and whether it hurts him or not. It all depends on how well he tucks & his size. And how tight his clothes are. You should probably ask him to wear something loose like a skirt the first time you meet if you are worried about that.

[Melanie R]

Where do you live? I am happily married but have a CD friend who would be the perfect catch for any woman interested in being with a CD. Jaye is handsome as a woman and beautiful as Jayme with a personality to match.

[cordgrass]

First off, if you do really like him, don't let him go if he thinks you don't want to be "with" him as a woman. Talk it out & work out baby steps. For straight CD's, that might be one of the biggest fantasies. Maybe you'll change your mind if you fall in love with him.


I can totally relate to him as a woman (in a man's body), that's part of the draw. I just can't relate to him as a woman in a woman's body, if that makes any sense. It's hard to explain. On the one hand, say things work out and we did live together, I would have no problem whatsoever with him dressing and acting 24/7 as a woman, including in bed. Especially in bed! :D On the other hand, if he decided to go further and take hormones and get breast implants, I'd be out of there.

Maybe it's an issue I have with the "girls together" phrasing, it's hard to explain. A "girls together" activity to me means a lamentable lack of boys in the picture. In other words, boring. But throw male genitalia in the mix, no matter how frou frou and covered with satin (in fact much better frou frou and covered in satin), and the activity suddenly becomes very interesting. Does that make any sense at all?

[cordgrass]

Where do you live? I am happily married but have a CD friend who would be the perfect catch for any woman interested in being with a CD. Jaye is handsome as a woman and beautiful as Jayme with a personality to match.

I live in Boston. But this man is seriously ideal.

[Vickie_CDTV]

First off, a woman like you is one in a million :) And he probably understands that.

If you are unsure of what he wants, I would say just ask him. If you want to dress to impress (which is probably not strictly necessary), wear a dress or skirt and hose etc., CDs tend to like that kind of thing.

As for the tucking problem, it depends on the person since everyone's body is different, it may or may not be an issue for him. If he goes out dressed in public, I am sure he knows how to handle it and be discreet just in case.

[windycissy]

Do you have a sister in California? You'd be a dream to meet...seriously, like the other girls suggested, take it nice and slow, and if he wants to be a guy on your first few dates let it ride, the more comfortable he becomes with you the more comfortable he'll be in showing you his feminine side.

[bridget jones]

I'd love to meet you.Wanna go out?I've been looking for a woman like you.

[Celeste]

Hi,Yes I would take it slow and use the first date to feel him out.There are so many different types of cd's,for instance sex or role reversal may not be a part of it for her.I would wear something comfortable for you, yet sexy for him.Ask him what he likes to see in a woman and how he feels about portraying one.Be direct and be yourself.

[cordgrass]

Oh my, there are CD's who don't find dressing sexual? Hmm...that would sort of defeat the point for me. :) I suppose they would be transexuals, correct? This is all very new to me.

[Shikyo]

Oh my, there are CD's who don't find dressing sexual? Hmm...that would sort of defeat the point for me. :) I suppose they would be transexuals, correct? This is all very new to me.

I'm sure there are. Maybe not all the time but at least at some times they don't find it sexual at all.

I wouldn't say that makes them transsexuals. Myself, I'm transsexual and I think that dressing in sexy clothes(the kind of that one shouldn't be wearing outside the in public) is sexual be it me dressing into them or my wife. So it depends of what I'm wearing and for what purpose.

[ReineD]

Hi Cordgrass, welcome to the forum!! :hugs:

As all the other girls said, just be yourself. You don't need to take on the man's role, but I would suggest treating her as you would treat any other girlfriend when opening doors, going first or not, or dealing with the check. He might not scrutinize everything you wear, but he will have a practiced eye. So I would make sure I am well put together with appropriate accessories in whatever style fits the occasion, whether it be casual or dressy.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
:hugs:

[cordgrass]

I'm sure there are. Maybe not all the time but at least at some times they don't find it sexual at all.

I wouldn't say that makes them transsexuals. Myself, I'm transsexual and I think that dressing in sexy clothes(the kind of that one shouldn't be wearing outside the in public) is sexual be it me dressing into them or my wife. So it depends of what I'm wearing and for what purpose.

Oh, well of course there would be sometimes it's not sexual. I would hope that when CD's go out in public it's not sexual, particularly if there are children around! But can I safely assume that in the privacy of the bedroom, if a CD is dressed in sexy lingerie and wig and makeup, etc., that that will enhance the romantic encounter rather than detract from it?

Reine, thank you. Gosh, I hadn't even thought about the check, that really does complicate things. Of course if I were out with another woman, we would go dutch or take turns. So I should make sure to do that then.

This is so complicated! :) But fun. It has been very eye-opening to browse this forum.

Another question I have--I'm a huge movie buff, in fact I go see movies by myself when I don't have a date. I go at least once a month, sometimes more. If things do work out, I would want to do that. She seems to want to date dressed, but I would imagine that going to a movie theater would just be asking for trouble, there's usually so many fresh teenagers in the audience. We could go to art films at independent cinemas, but still. I suppose if it's a worry he could go in "drab" (I'm picking up the lingo here! :) ).

[Ediosa]

Hey Cord,

I have to admit, your a cool girl. Now, I'm currently seeing someone who was also looking for a CD, and basically the advice I have to give you is what everyone is saying, be yourself. Now, another thing will be to talk, talk and talk. That's every important. When it comes to those questions, then ask him to see what and how he wants to persuade, cause he might not want to ruin it also and wants to see how comfortable you will be. Therefore talk. Same thing with the movies. If he looks good as a she, then don't worry about the movies and teens. It will all be good.

:)

[Shikyo]

Oh, well of course there would be sometimes it's not sexual. I would hope that when CD's go out in public it's not sexual, particularly if there are children around! But can I safely assume that in the privacy of the bedroom, if a CD is dressed in sexy lingerie and wig and makeup, etc., that that will enhance the romantic encounter rather than detract from it?

I can't really answer that question as I'm not a crossdresser. There are probably some different feelings depending of the character of the person. I think generally it would be more romantic than less. They like dressing in female clothes, dressing in female clothes that are sexy should be much nicer especially if their girl friend supports them in it. I really don't see why it would have a negative effect, unless you always do the same thing. In that case I could understand it getting kinda boring. Who would want to keep doing the same thing over and over for years?


This is so complicated! :) But fun. It has been very eye-opening to browse this forum.

Everything seems complicated at the first sight but when you get into the matter it should become easier. Especially if you are having fun it should happen much faster than with something that you don't really like. *giggles*


Another question I have--I'm a huge movie buff, in fact I go see movies by myself when I don't have a date. I go at least once a month, sometimes more. If things do work out, I would want to do that. She seems to want to date dressed, but I would imagine that going to a movie theater would just be asking for trouble, there's usually so many fresh teenagers in the audience. We could go to art films at independent cinemas, but still. I suppose if it's a worry he could go in "drab" (I'm picking up the lingo here! :) ).

This is rather complicated question, to be honest. There are so many factors that would have to be counted for.

- The theater, location and time when you would be going there

- The looks of your partner(sadly, there is a slight difference in how people react depending on the looks)

- The self-confidence your partner has(I think this is much more important than how you look. Being nervous just makes you get more attention more attention will bring you more trouble because people will look closer)

In general, I really don't see any issues with going to movie theater how you two would want to go there. You might get some shouts or something but most people don't keep doing if you just ignore them. Depending how used he is going outside in femme plays a role as well. I don't think a movie theater is a good place to start with something like this. A less crowded place would be much better choice in my opinion. With some experience and confidence there should be no problems going anywhere.

In the end teenagers aren't all that big of a problem. It's usually the groups of teenagers that cause trouble. A single teenager rarely has the courage to do something but being inside a group brings their courage out. They don't want to be ashamed in front of their group, if you know what I mean.

[Kathi Lake]

The only advice I can give you is this; Get a stick. Get a big stick. You'll need it to beat all of the ladies here that have been looking for someone just like you. :)

Seriously, dating a crossdresser is just like dating anyone else - find what and who attracts you. Crossdressing is just one part of what makes up who we are. In the end, you don't want to date a crossdresser. You want to date a person with whom you have a connection and a life that meshes with yours. If that person happens to like getting dressed up and pretty - everybody wins!

Kathi

[Daniela76]

I would say movies are probably one of the safest places to go together. Once you get in the theater, pick a safe place to sit. It's dark once the movie starts, so that shouldn't matter. I as a guy have gone to see movies alone, and would like more friends to be able to agree to see movies with. My best guy friend doesn't even like sitting next to me in the theater unless we have to.

As long as the CD is comfortable going somewhere, you shouldn't worry about it yourself. He is obviously comfortable, so that should give you courage.

Be careful what you do in the theater though. That might give it away. You could probably get away with holding hands at first though. Then work on head on the others shoulder.

[Alice Torn]

Hot dang! Women like you really exist!

[Shikyo]

Hot dang! Women like you really exist!

Why wouldn't girls like that exist?

A looking person will find them. I personally know quite a few of them.

[cordgrass]

The only advice I can give you is this; Get a stick. Get a big stick. You'll need it to beat all of the ladies here that have been looking for someone just like you. :)

Seriously, dating a crossdresser is just like dating anyone else - find what and who attracts you. Crossdressing is just one part of what makes up who we are. In the end, you don't want to date a crossdresser. You want to date a person with whom you have a connection and a life that meshes with yours. If that person happens to like getting dressed up and pretty - everybody wins!

Kathi

True, I don't want to date a crossdresser, I want to date a person whom I have a connection and a life that meshes with mine. I want to have sex with a crossdresser, and if the dating thing works out too then it's a win win! It's a fetish, is that so wrong? :o

I suppose technically I didn't exist until a couple years ago. In fact, several years ago I was at a get-together and a man approached me (in drab) and told me right off the bat that he was a woman in a man's body. I was quite surprised. I wasn't repulsed or anything, I think anybody my age or younger shouldn't be, considering how popular Rocky Horror Picture Show was when I was a teenager, but I wasn't particularly attracted either. But then my tastes changed.

[Amanda Styles]

Just be yourself Hon. What I've found out from experience (sometimes hard experience) is to build a good friendship first. A solid friendship is unshakable and will withstand things a romance cannot. Take it from a person who found that out the hard way.:)

Eloquent and accurate.
I would only reveal myself to someone that I felt was a real friend and would be accepting of me.
This forum is full of people that would love to find a supportive understanding GG partner that enjoys their feminine side.
Good luck in your endeavors.
Amanda

[sherri52]

Be yourself. Treat her as a woman but get a few dates with him as a man. You will want a man as your SO and one that shows the feminine side may be exactly what you want. No special treatment other than allowing him to dress and with long term buying her some clothes. He/she could be your lover/bestfriend or not what you expect.
PS I grew up in Boston, where were you 50 yrs ago

[cordgrass]

I think he's lost interest. :sad:

[Miranda09]

Why do you say that? Of course, if he has, that's part of life and move on. If you think there's still a potential relationship there, pursue it. :)

[laura.lapinski]

I would take it slow. The more you like each other, the slower you should take it. Like others said, be friends first, talk openly, share stories. I too would like to have someone who was intellectually compatible, and positive. Good luck.

Laura

[Amanda Styles]

I think he's lost interest. :sad:

Hi Cord,
Do you mean he lost interest in you, or CD related stuff?
If you have discussed your common interest he may have backed away because he feels insecure bringing it out in the open.
I dated a girl in high school that wanted me to come over and let her wash/set/style my hair and put makeup me. Dressing up was never mentioned. Unfortunately I never acted upon her request. I don't think she knew anything about my crossdressing and how much I really wanted to take her up on it!
Your friend could really want to share his fem side with you but is afraid to do so.

[cordgrass]

Lost interest in me. I think over some miscommunication. I think I can fix this, it's a simple misunderstanding. And if not, I am seeing there are plenty of other mermaids in the sea! :D

[kristinacd55]

Lost interest in me. I think over some miscommunication. I think I can fix this, it's a simple misunderstanding. And if not, I am seeing there are plenty of other mermaids in the sea! :D

Hi Cord-you've come a long way in one post! And you're right there are tons of mermaids out there. Just swim along & pluck one out of the sea! :daydreaming:

[Miranda09]

Lost interest in me. I think over some miscommunication. I think I can fix this, it's a simple misunderstanding. And if not, I am seeing there are plenty of other mermaids in the sea! :D

Stay positive Cord...it'll all work out for you, and as you said, there are plenty of mermaids out there. ;)

[cordgrass]

*sigh* I can't fix this.

All right, one last silly question. Since I know what I want, I'm going to go places where CDers congregate here in Boston. Is there some kind of etiquette to signal that one is a GG at such places? I don't want to disappoint anybody expecting something extra downstairs. :D I'm assuming showing decolletage, but on the other hand, y'all get pretty tricky with forms! And then there's always those that have gone under the knife.

[Dana]

Why not contact TriEss (a social support group for heterosexual cross dressers and those that support and love them (wives, GF's) and attend their meetings.

Then just be yourself, be selective, know what your looking for in regards to chemistry, personality, makeup (personality wise) That is to say what your looking for in a man that dresses and gets girly from time to time (or all of the time :))

You'll meet those that have accepted themselves as cross dressers, and don't have to go through the whole guilt. denial, "pink fog" purge thing. You'll also meet other GG women who are wives and GF's.

And I'm willing to bet you'll gave a lot of fun in doing so. You'll find them to be respectful of your boundaries and of you. If you don't meet anyone that suits your fancy ~ then you will have established a network ~ and eventually meet a friend of a friend of a friend.

Take your time. Your going to find that cross dressers are just like anyone else. They just have a "girly" side that want and need to express.

I had an old GF ask "Why would a man want to wear a dress?"

Because girls just want to have fun, and being a girl is fun. Getting girly is fun. Shopping and doing things girls do is fun. Dressing up and cross dressing is fun. For many of us it began as playing dress up and pretend.

Simply put? Once you actively join the "community" you'll find what your looking for.

As with any relationship ~ take it slow in becoming intimate. The sooner you become intimate is proportionate to how long the relationship lasts. That is to say take the time to get to know ~ truly know one another as people, persons and individuals. Don't neglect the mental, pyschological, emotional at the cost of the intellectual.

Remember your a GG and as such you need a lasting emotional connection for a relationship to truly work and last.

And all the more as such you need to seek someone who can meet your needs in the traditional male mode, (as you've described the one CD you've been in contact with ~ handsome, well educated ~" as my Mother would say a catch") Don't neglect that part. You may be open to being in a relationshp with a CD'er, but your brain is hardwired and you've been socially and culturaly conditioned all of your life to seek out masculine traits, (fixes things, stomp on spiders, etc.)

:2c:

[Kathi Lake]

*sigh* I can't fix this.

All right, one last silly question. Since I know what I want, I'm going to go places where CDers congregate here in Boston. Is there some kind of etiquette to signal that one is a GG at such places? I don't want to disappoint anybody expecting something extra downstairs. :D I'm assuming showing decolletage, but on the other hand, y'all get pretty tricky with forms! And then there's always those that have gone under the knife.Décolletage does indeed help. Yes, some of us (not me - I'm too bloody skinny!) do have enough excess "material" that we can push and mold into place to make realistic-enough looking breasts, but after a quick glance, you'll just know. Also, if you spend five minutes in a place like that, it will become quite obvious who's who. All of the men will instinctually pick upon the fact that you're an actual woman. As a woman, you'll know pretty quickly who are the actual genetic girls. Sure, some people here can indeed pull it off (some people that are definitely not me), but there are enough non-visual cues that occasionally spoil the illusion.

At any rate, you owe yourself a trip to one of these places even if only to "test the waters" and see how the other half lives. Sorry it didn't work out with your fist choice.

Kathi

[ReineD]

Cordgrass, most times it is the voice that gives it away.

[giuseppina]

... I'm assuming showing decolletage ...

Not too much. Less is more, but that is my taste. :)

[cordgrass]

Cordgrass, most times it is the voice that gives it away.

Well you've heard my voice, you know that's not exactly conclusive. :o

Fixing things really would be nice. I like my financial independence, but you are right, having someone who knows how to use a wrench would be awfully appealing!

A hint of decolletage then. I'm pretty well-upholstered, going for the full Wonderbra effect is rather eyepopping! :heehee:

TriEss is rather far away from Boston, and there are more local groups here in the city. But thank you for the suggestion!

[Randy]

[QUOTE=cordgrass;1984765]But can I safely assume that in the privacy of the bedroom, if a CD is dressed in sexy lingerie and wig and makeup, etc., that that will enhance the romantic encounter rather than detract from it?
QUOTE]

If I was with you, while in public, I would say that I'd prefer that you not worry so much about it (sex). Now, when in pricate, I think that the best way to find the answers to your questions is to ask him the questions. As you can tell, we've all thought about it and we all have a slightly different take on what we'd like. For my sake, I really like the idea of talking about what is or is not something I'd like in bed. Talking about what you each like is a great way to start the experiment.

Again, if it was me with you, I'd encourage you to touch me through my lingerie. There's no better sensation I've ever felt. As a matter of fact, I'd recommend that he might just like whatever you like once you get to the bedroom. Talk about it and see what happens.

Good luck and have fun.

[ReineD]

Well you've heard my voice, you know that's not exactly conclusive. :o

You sounded like a GG to me! :D



Again, if it was me with you, I'd encourage you to touch me through my lingerie. There's no better sensation I've ever felt.

Before we go any further people, if you have bedroom fantasies you'd like to discuss, please PM the OP directly. You all know the rules! :rulez:

[cordgrass]

Well, well, well. I watched that video. It's a good thing I have no interest in dating a transsexual. But extrapolating from that, yes, I am interested in buying a nice steak dinner for ladies I'm going to be questioning. And I'm not a moron, of course if they're dressed en femme I will use female pronouns and whatnot talking with them.

If I wanted to date a woman I could easily date a woman. It's not that hard. If women wanting to date CDers must pass some sort of purity test where they say the penis is just a garnish, well, I think that's going to narrow the field quite a bit. I'm not currently dating anybody, CD or not, and I'd rather not have to face that decision down the road. It's not like I have to stand by my man or woman, I'm not in some already existing relationship. I have full choice here. And since from what I've read here that the vast majority of CDers do not want to go down that road anyhow, where's the harm in me wanting that?

As for me being purely interested in sex, it's not that. I want to date. But sex is pretty damn important to me, and it will come up as an issue sooner rather than later in any relationship I'm in by the nature of who I am--I'm as against the social norm as being a crossdresser, possibly more so.

Oh hell, wasn't going to post this, but this is who I am:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/stellamagazine/3352063/Happy-endings.html

And if someone says I'm a sex addict just because I'm spontaneously orgasmic and have fifty orgasms a day, I will be vexed. Maybe not as vexed as that transsexual woman, but close.

Is it so weird that a woman who can have sex like a man might want to have sex with a man who can have sex like a woman?

[Kelly DeWinter]

Before we go any further people, if you have bedroom fantasies you'd like to discuss, please PM the OP directly. You all know the rules! :rulez:

This whole thread is so funny, if it's not the original poster's fantasy, I'll eat my hat ....... well mayby not a hat .. will a small piece of cake suffice ?

[cordgrass]

I just want to reiterate my intentions are honorable. If I was just interested in sex, well, let's just say it's not difficult for me to meet men. There's the curiosity factor more than anything, I think, like wanting to drive a Lamborghini. And I've done that, but men don't seem to hold my interest past the first several times, I guess because I'm looking for someone like me, someone who's seen the world from both sides.

Likewise if I just wanted to get into the panties of a CDer, that wouldn't exactly be difficult either. I had to pull my ad after being up for six hours, the response was, um, enthusiastic. And graphic, accompanied by specific plans on locations, times and potential activities.

I do want to date and spend time to get to know the person. That's why I'm here. If I didn't want to do that, I wouldn't need advice. I'm an old hand at setting up a booty call, no advice needed for that! :D

[cordgrass]

This whole thread is so funny, if it's not the original poster's fantasy, I'll eat my hat ....... well mayby not a hat .. will a small piece of cake suffice ?

What? I think I've made it pretty clear that I haven't acted on this yet, aside from placing the ad, and last winter going to a drag show here in Boston. I didn't even know where the places were to go here until just a few days ago, it's not exactly known in the mainstream. You think I'm not going to go? And I assure you, the person who responded to my ad was certainly real, and sent me lovely lovely pictures, she's a knockout, but I'm a gentleman(? lady?) I'm not going to say anything more about this person than what I've already posted, people do have a right to privacy.

Or maybe you are thinking I'm not me? Or that I can't do those things? I showed Betty Dodson, and that's good enough. This argument I'm tired enough with, I don't really care anymore.

[DonnaT]

I didn't read through the whole thread, so If I repeat a link, please forgive.

http://www.jessica-who.com/2009/08/crossdresser-transgender-dating/

[Janet Bern]

I believe you have hit the mother load here. There are so many of us that are in the closet and are looking for a girl friend. Thats the first step. Most of us are not teeming with testosterone so we arent jerks. Hopefully you will meet someone from here that you can hang with as see what comes about. Most of us are not into men and only into woman and we would hope for the ultimate. That is, a woman that likes us to dress occasionally and always remembers that she has a girlfriend with the man equipment. Thats cool. By the way, speaking for myself I love going out shopping and lunch with my gg friend.
Janet

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Cordgrass, First and to all the rest of my fellow gurls, I have her sister. Melissa and I have been together for 4 yrs going on May 2010. We are the same size in cloths 16 and shoes, 10 1/2 or 11. I do have better fashion sense then her as she was a widow and wore nothing but black. Our first date was, I brough her venison chill an a bottle of wine, she invited me to her home. I won her over, she locked the doors on friday night and did not let me out until tuesday morning. So much for sex as a man. I told her right off the bat I was a C D she said so what I am from N Y city. you Boston. I dress almost every day in some manner, we buy cloths together panties and bra's, she steals my cloths . I love her very much for it. Have sex with her with me dressed is like, she is wild. For me a C D 's dream. Being in Boston take a ride to P town, or if you like I have a friend that gose there often. Let me know I have to undress right now as I am going to play tennis Joe/josephine :love::blah::c9: P. S Melissa said if u need to talk to her about us let us know, also if u want fly down and stay with us for a couple of days to see our life.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Oh my, there are CD's who don't find dressing sexual? Hmm...that would sort of defeat the point for me. :) I suppose they would be transexuals, correct? This is all very new to me.


Every day I read this thread and ROFL, when I see the 'buttons' being pushed, mayby ........ a little the world of CD's might be new. , but the other game afoot in this thread is a very very old one.

[Kathi Lake]

Marrena,

I, for one, am a crossdresser who dresses up for non-sexual reasons. I don't consider myself a transgender in the "normal" sense, i.e. I do not want to change my sex.

Yes, in the beginning, there was a sexual aspect to my dressing. I would gain arousal by putting on the clothes of the opposite sex. Then again, I was a teenager - I could get aroused looking at paint dry. :)

For some folks, orgasmic conditioning does occur and "cements" that behavior throughout life. For me, the sexual component simply left me after awhile. I honestly don't miss it. Now when I dress, it is more of a feeling of contentment or "rightness," if you will, that I feel.

Of course, society says that if you dress in the clothes of the opposite sex, then you are either a transvestic fetishist if you have a sexual component to your dressing, or are experiencing gender dysphoria if you do not. Me, I simply feel like me - no matter which side of the closet I get dressed from.

Kathi

[cordgrass]

I think crossdressing opens the heart, and that is very appealing to me. I have a lot of heart energy to give, and for me giving that heart energy is a very sexual feeling, even though it is centered in the chest.

But in addition, I think I would want someone who, once bedroom activities had gotten started, would find things enhanced by wearing women's lingerie. I would enjoy that a lot! :) I understand that most of the girls here don't walk around en femme in a constant state of arousal, and that's a good thing, considering all the shopping y'all do. :devil: But I think that I'd like a woman in the bedroom, at least some of the time.

[NathalieX66]

I dated two women recently that seemed to express their openness to crossdressers, one of them seemed to love transvestites, as she told me. We are good friends, but I felt our intellectual parity was not entirely on par. A few other issues too.
Maybe I'm being finicky, but I am not going to persue a relationship with someone just because she finds guys in dresses intriguing....but it's a start!:)

[Daniela76]

I'd definitely say this topic went completely off the rails!!

I think the problem is that cordgrass opened up the floodgates of a topic that most of us CD's are obsessed with.

And then other people got into arguments about silly stuff.

Sorry your current match didn't work out cordgrass!
At least you're a mature woman who knows who she is and what she's looking for!
If you were just a bit younger & looking for family, I'd probably bug you a bit more. :battingeyelashes:

(and no, I don't need everyone sniping at me about their conversations, it was just an observation)

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you go places where CDs hang out, don't worry. I am not sure how to say this without offending someone somewhere, but we members of the 'gender community' are fairly adapt at reading each other and know what to look for. You look unquestionably like a woman (and a very cute one at that, what a wonderful smile!) You have no prominent male facial characteristics, you have a full head of hair with a part in it (obviously no wig, no male pattern baldness or thinning), you features are sized for a female, your body is proportional, etc.

Some CDs dress for non-sexual reasons, some do it for sexual reasons, some can do it for either reason depending on what they want to accomplish (I am one of those, and I totally understand what you are saying.)

There are plenty of mermaids in the sea, and I am sure if you keep looking you will find someone special!

[AmandaM]

Cordgrass, we have a section here for people looking for friends, did you see it? Maybe a post there will help.

[cordgrass]

Nathalie, of course a girl should hold out for someone interested in her as a person, but starting off with a pool of people interested in her sexually to pick from is, I think, a good place to start. :D

I've posted down in the Meeting Place section and I fully intend on attending local events here in Boston. I wish there was one tonight!

Vicki, thank you for the compliments. :battingeyelashes: That's also reassuring, don't want to accidentally trick anybody.

I think quite a few women find CDers intriguing, and like me would probably be even more attracted to the "non-passing" CDers. I think there are a few things that make it difficult. First, and this is the biggest one, I think most women simply assume anyone who crossdresses is gay. I certainly used to. It was only by reading Dan Savage religiously that I found out I was wrong. It would help if there was a popular romantic comedy out with a very heterosexual guy who crossdresses--:2c:

The second thing is that it's so unusual for us to come across it because y'all keep it so well hidden. From what I've read here, most of those who crossdress do it home alone, and those that do go out obsess with passing. If a crossdresser passes successfully, it means that women will be looking at her without realizing what she is. So we don't know how common it is. I think this will be a moot point for the younger generation, for example, look at this:

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rP-KFnYg6Hw&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rP-KFnYg6Hw&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

I guarantee you there a lots of girls who after watching that were turned on.

And third, the problem is that even if there are women who are interested in taking a walk on the wild side, you all are really hard to find. I've been interested in over a year, and the only place it occurred to me to look, a drag show, there weren't any crossdressers in the audience. If you do a google search you are inundated with tranny porn and pay sites that offer online "forced" feminisation.

[Rogina B]

There is a GREAT web that some of us are members of called FetLife. Join up[it's free] browse all the interesting fetishes,find yours,and post an introduction.New England has tons of members and you will have far better quality luck faster than here!! You won't be dissapointed with FetLife. :)

[Kelly DeWinter]

But in addition, I think I would want someone who, once bedroom activities had gotten started, would find things enhanced by wearing women's lingerie. I would enjoy that a lot! :) I understand that most of the girls here don't walk around en femme in a constant state of arousal, and that's a good thing, considering all the shopping y'all do. :devil: But I think that I'd like a woman in the bedroom, at least some of the time.


It's post's like this that should be in a dating site . Are you looking to date a person or the clothes ?

Crossdressers are People ! (Soylent Green reference). We are no different then anyone else. Date the person !

Yep, this has gotten off topic, and back to one persons fantasy.

Kelly

[cordgrass]

Christ Almighty, are women not allowed to have sexual fetishes? WTF? :Angry3: I have a friend who's a male dominant, and he mostly dates women from within the BDSM community. But just because he tries to date submissives doesn't mean he isn't interested in a serious relationship and trying to find Ms. Right. Why is it okay for him to do that and not okay for me to go to TG events and try to meet girls?

[Miranda09]

Hi Cordgras. Personally I see nothing wrong with you going to a TG event to meet people, for whatever reason. That's what this site is all about, meeting people if the opportunity arises. What happens after that is no ones business.

[ReineD]

Miranda, I think this site is about much more than that. It is primarily for encouragement and support, in moving beyond the closet and the purely sexual aspect of CDing. I'm not saying the fetish CDs are not welcome here, they are, but not if they want to use the site as a platform for their fantasies.

Cordgrass you are very outspoken and I find it refreshing. You are helping TGs to see there are GGs out there who are interested and hopefully your posts will help some individuals become more confident in themselves. But, it appears as if you are primarily interested in fetish CDs and although you are welcome to continue to be a member here, the suggestion to join FetLife to look for partners is a good one. It is a good site.

But please understand that many TGs identify as women even if they are not transsexual and they do not wish to be objectified. Many of you might roll your eyes while reading this, and I understand why Cordgrass' viewpoint might be offensive to some people. So Cordgrass and those of you who are interested, I would encourage you to PM if your focus is on sex. This way the threads will not inadvertently take on the dating/fetish/sexual flavor that we wish to avoid in this forum. As you pointed out, there are plenty other online places for this.

[JennaR]

Yep I knew it was only a matter of time :doh: As much as we all are titillated with your planned adventures The fact remains that someone has to Reine :o us in for our own good. It's time to submit to the moderators good sense and move on:heehee:

[cordgrass]

Well this is the sort of thing I need to know. So then I shouldn't go to TG events because those primarily attract CDers who think of themselves as women and they would be offended by sexual objectification? And instead should use that other website to find local interested parties?

It's very confusing, because, for example, in the picture galleries members tell each other how hot and sexy they look etc. and it's kind of hard to not think that a person isn't trying to be a sex object when wearing, say, thigh-high boots and a miniskirt.

At any rate, I'll stop with the posting, and my apologies to anyone I've offended. :love: I'm just ignorant, that's all, didn't know the right places to go online to find out more. I don't regret posting here because I have gotten up to speed on a lot of things I'm going to need to know, and I thank you all.

*lurks* :tt:

[ReineD]

Yep I knew it was only a matter of time :doh: As much as we all are titillated with your planned adventures The fact remains that someone has to Reine :o us in for our own good. It's time to submit to the moderators good sense and move on:heehee:

Jenna, I'm not saying this thread has to end. Just asking for the sexual details to be kept private. This is not from a moralistic point of view. We all like to fantasize and we all enjoy sex. But it is a slippery slope and it can far to easily take us away from our primary goal of support. Not everyone knows how to be subtle or how to talk about sex in a non-explicit manner.
:hugs:

EDIT Didn't see your post.



It's very confusing, because, for example, in the picture galleries members tell each other how hot and sexy they look etc. and it's kind of hard to not think that a person isn't trying to be a sex object when wearing, say, thigh-high boots and a miniskirt.

It's hard to tell. I think some members would like meet-ups, and for others it is just validation.



At any rate, I'll stop with the posting, and my apologies to anyone I've offended. :love: I'm just ignorant, that's all, didn't know the right places to go online to find out more. I don't regret posting here because I have gotten up to speed on a lot of things I'm going to need to know, and I thank you all.

No, please don't stop posting. I was attempting to let you know the various mindsets on this site. There is much more than what first meets the eye. You are always welcome to post your questions and observations! :hugs:

If you do begin a relationship with a TG, it would be good to read your observations. So many members here feel there is no one who would be interested in them.

[suchacutie]

Standing back from the specifics for a moment, Cordgrass does make a good point that those of us who enjoy both of our gender presentations (personalities?) don't exactly advertise in the New York Times society section! Mores the pity! Now, I'm happily married, but for those of us who aren't the public venues for meeting women interested in men who happen to be transgendered are vanishingly small. To meet for the first time en femme even smaller!

We've all talked about the issues of becoming interested in a potential spouse only to run up against the wall of having to "tell about our feminine side". Wouldn't it be so much easier if that feminine side were out there from the start? There are so many threads here that talk about all the positive qualities of us who embrace both genders. Maybe it's that message that we need to get out somehow so that our existence as safe, sane, desireable, heterosexual CD/TV/whatevers is more readily known and understood.

Meanwhile, welcome Cordgrass! My wife is completely heterosexual and Tina and she are wonderful girlfriends. We were already married a long time before we discovered Tina so we never "dated" as girlfriends. My advice is very simple: communicate. Treat your newly met CD as a girlfriend and talk, talk, talk. Find out about each other at all levels and I'm sure you'll quickly know which path to take!

I'm sure you'll have a wonderful experience!!

tina

[cordgrass]

Not everyone knows how to be subtle or how to talk about sex in a non-explicit manner.
:hugs:

That would be me! :o



No, please don't stop posting. I was attempting to let you know the various mindsets on this site. There is much more than what first meets the eye. You are always welcome to post your questions and observations! :hugs:

If you do begin a relationship with a TG, it would be good to read your observations. So many members here feel there is no one who would be interested in them.

Well of course that would be up to the TG.

As for finding women interested, I think a good litmus test would be renting the movie "Stage Beauty" and watching it together. Of course moralistic at the end, he chooses to be a "man", but that movie was what first made me consider, hmm, something going on there. So if she :censor: your bones after watching it, that would be a good sign!

I have a feeling I will be using that smiley a lot here.

[Miranda09]

Hi Cordgrass..I agree with Reine. Please don't stop posting. I really do enjoy reading your viewpoints. :)

[Diane24]

I have hesitated to jump in here... not sure how much my situation would be of any help or interest. My SO is a GG. We met when I was in the middle of my Real Life Test. She worked it out that I wasn't a real gal and confronted me. I was crushed, she was very nice. So, long story short, we've been together for 12 years. Having been on HRT for awhile, the male bits were fairly useless and then I had SRS. In spite of all that we have a very loving, sexual relationship even though she swears she isn't Lesbian!
My advice is to grab this guy while the chance exists and see how your relationship develops.
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained!

Hugs,
Diane

[ReineD]

As for finding women interested, I think a good litmus test would be renting the movie "Stage Beauty" and watching it together. Of course moralistic at the end, he chooses to be a "man", but that movie was what first made me consider, hmm, something going on there. So if she :censor: your bones after watching it, that would be a good sign!

Enfant terrible! :D

I like your idea of a NYT best selling book with a M2F CD as the protagonist.

And for Ze, another with a F2M hero would be good too.

Any takers? :D

[cordgrass]

No, it has to be a movie. There already is a best-selling book with a MTF CD protagonist--Ulysses, of course. Darling James Joyce. :daydreaming:

It has to be a movie so women can see the man en femme. And it has to be a light, popular movie, like something with Renee Zellwegger.

[eluuzion]

I suppose I should have introduced myself in the new member section, but I wanted to post my question right away. I found this forum by searching on "dating a crossdresser." I am female, born female, and the last couple years I have realized that most men just don't do it for me. I've never been with a crossdressing man, but I really really want to try it. I went to a local drag show last winter hoping to meet CD's, but the only people dressed were the performers and the waitresses. I also went online to various CD websites and tentatively posted my interest, but was quite overwhelmed with the responses from all over the country and just didn't respond. Finally I bit the bullet this week and did a local posting. I thought I would ease into it, with a no pressure sort of light fling. However, within hours I got a response from the most dreamy man imaginable. He's so handsome and so lovely dressed, and very well educated, and respectful and in all ways someone my mother would consider "a catch". I've done the whole marriage thing so finding the perfect husband is the last thing on my mind, but the idea of an intellectual equal is very appealing. Well anyhow, I am quite nervous and don't want to blow this, and I want to ask for tips on dating.

How does a woman date a CD? I think we will be meeting up initially with him "en femme." Do I take the man's role? Should I take things slower than I normally would? Will he be judging me on what I wear more than most men? I'm sort of at sea. Please help. :)

Just a thought, since giving "advice" to someone else is like playing with matches, to me.

One option might be to just be honest and reveal yourself. After all, isn't that what we are hoping our "date" will do with us?

If you are nervous, you could just write it all down first and review it before you meet again.

Oh, wait a minute...you just did that, now didn't you?? hehehe.

Kewl, your feelings are written down already, so that is done!! K, now what? Express it verbally, just the way you wrote it here would work...

You could read it to him, but that might look a little odd when you are having dinner at the restaurant...:D

If I was Me, I would be impressed in that scenario.

You will do fine...

"Think Less...Act More"
Life is short

[cordgrass]

There is a GREAT web that some of us are members of called FetLife. Join up[it's free] browse all the interesting fetishes,find yours,and post an introduction.New England has tons of members and you will have far better quality luck faster than here!! You won't be dissapointed with FetLife. :)

My goodness. I signed up. I'm bossy, but not quite that bossy! There doesn't seem to be a place for me over there.

I am going out tonight with some girls and ring in the New Year tonight, damnit! I've got to start someplace. :)

[Kelly DeWinter]

........ this site is about much more than that. It is primarily for encouragement and support, in moving beyond the closet and the purely sexual aspect of CDing.

Thanks ReineD, for the reminder. It's the safe aspect of this site that is most apealing to me and I know a large number of others. This is probably the one site that you can go to where both CD and their spouses or SO can go without the overt sexual overtones and inuendos.

This site has been a tremendous help to wives and SO of crossdressers who have recently come out of the closet to them. Their relationships are fragile and often on the brink of collapse. Sometimes the information posted on this site helps save a marriage or a relationship.

Can you picture the wife of a closeted CD who is trying to come out of the closet, seeing portions of this thread ? What do you imagine the reponse would be ?

Kelly

[AmandaM]

They're out there Cordgrass, you just put yourself out there and stay out there. You'll find someone. You can't find an SO if you don't socialize with people.

[Dana]

Well since the Boston Tri-Ess is Geo/UA (Geographically Unavailable) why not found the name of them of the local chapter, get in touch with the 'contact' person and let them know what your looking for. You could even put restrictions as to how distant you would want to be from them.

Years ago, (back before the Internet) I was a national member of TriEss. They put out a monthly (might have been quarterly I can't remember.

In on edition they gave out the contact info of a GG that was looking for a hetero CD. She had been with a guy that came that he cross dressed. They broke up because of it.

She got back into the "normal" dating scene and dated a lot of jerks. Decided that cross dressers weren't such a bad lot after all?

But is news U could use!

And if someone says I'm a sex addict just because I'm spontaneously orgasmic and have fifty orgasms a day, I will be vexed. Maybe not as vexed as that transsexual woman, but close.

Is it so weird that a woman who can have sex like a man might want to have sex with a man who can have sex like a woman?[/QUOTE]

Oddly enough I just thought I might add to this that I saw a program on TLC about this tonight while at work (I got one those kind of jobs) which spoke about this very thing. {spontaneously orgasmic} and have fifty orgasms a day The title of the show was "Strange Sex"

Not that it portrayed those appearing on the show as "strange" the point being made was that they were very normal. Others portrayed was "sleep sex ~ like sleep walking - eating and having no memory of it. A woman who was allergic to her husband's sperm and couldn't not conceive because of it. ~ she would break out in hives, swollen tongue, have to be rush to the hospital because of vesicular shut down on the verge of death. Her body was reacting the protein in her husband's sperm as though she was allergic to nuts, peanuts, a wasp or bee sting.

They gave a name for it PAD? Preputial Arousal Disorder (I've probably got that part wrong? In fact I'm sure of it ~ PAD is a blood pressure problem with one's legs) Prior to the case shown there was no cure for it. But the case study was given a drug to help her quit smoking ~ and it ended up curing it. Its where one has higher blood pressure in her clitoris / vaginal reagion than the rest of her body.

Almost exlusive to women ~ such women are at higher risk for high blood pressure, heart attacks, and stroke.

I once dated a woman that could ____________ simply by holding her and hugging her. And yes she had a stroke @ age 52.

This might be something you would want to discuss with your Dr. and you might want to check out the TLC website to see if you can get a copy of the program I mentioned.

[cordgrass]

I pmed you. I don't really want to talk about the PSAS. At least in my case it's a deliberate choice, not a condition, we'll leave it at that. I can easily stop being the way I am at any time.

As for women, we travel in herds. Look at that Robert Pattinson fellow, I think that's his name. Why are so many young women interested in him? Precisely because so many young women are interested in him. It's a snowball effect. Having women come here and post that they think crossdressers are hot should only help your cause, not hurt it. If you are worrying about freaking out the ladyfolk, the threads about having sex with men might be a more effective target, although I think that would be unfair.

At any rate, I went out and had fun tonight and I had a lovely time. :daydreaming:

I do want to say a couple things about last night, in case any GG's might read this in the future--take a penny, give a penny :D

First off, that was the most fun I've had on New Year's Eve ever. Most times I've gone to a club I've had to wait until my date had at least three beers before venturing out on the dance floor. Do crossdressers generally like to dance? If so, that right there is a potent weapon in getting GG's interested.

Second, there was only one point during the night where I felt uneasy. It was cold, and so I wore a top that wasn't lowcut, figuring that my companions would already know I was a GG. What I didn't count on was that other people in the hotel and club didn't know I was a GG. I got some really hostile looks when I used the ladies' room. I suppose I could use the men's room, but that would be silly. So I think I'm going to make sure I wear a lowcut top or dress when I'm out and about with crossdressers, just to make things clear to the casual passerby. :)

Sorry about that, I'm usually good with multi posting, just a little foggy this morning!

[Dana]

I pmed you. I don't really want to talk about the PSAS. At least in my case it's a deliberate choice, not a condition, we'll leave it at that. I can easily stop being the way I am at any time.

As for women, we travel in herds. Look at that Robert Pattinson fellow, I think that's his name. Why are so many young women interested in him? Precisely because so many young women are interested in him. It's a snowball effect. Having women come here and post that they think crossdressers are hot should only help your cause, not hurt it. If you are worrying about freaking out the ladyfolk, the threads about having sex with men might be a more effective target, although I think that would be unfair.

At any rate, I went out and had fun tonight and I had a lovely time. :daydreaming:

I do want to say a couple things about last night, in case any GG's might read this in the future--take a penny, give a penny :D

First off, that was the most fun I've had on New Year's Eve ever. Most times I've gone to a club I've had to wait until my date had at least three beers before venturing out on the dance floor. Do crossdressers generally like to dance? If so, that right there is a potent weapon in getting GG's interested.

Second, there was only one point during the night where I felt uneasy. It was cold, and so I wore a top that wasn't lowcut, figuring that my companions would already know I was a GG. What I didn't count on was that other people in the hotel and club didn't know I was a GG. I got some really hostile looks when I used the ladies' room. I suppose I could use the men's room, but that would be silly. So I think I'm going to make sure I wear a lowcut top or dress when I'm out and about with crossdressers, just to make things clear to the casual passerby. :)

Sorry about that, I'm usually good with multi posting, just a little foggy this morning!

Never got the PM

[cordgrass]

That's weird about the PM's, maybe I didn't "send" properly, I will check.


First, I would like to agree that this site is an excellent tool, resource and place of support. It helped my wife and I tremendously, giving her a place she could poke around and learn without a bunch of $ex stuff.

Very glad to hear you had a good time! Happy New Year!

No, not all of us dance, just the ones with movement in our hearts. The only common thread I've ever noticed in the transgenderd community is that most of us have unique perspectives and big hearts.

Oh, the bathroom thing is an age old sore subject, if we're presenting as female, we have the right to be there... tell the staff to stick it, baby!

Hope you find happiness, please stick around and tell us how it goes. :hugs:

I thought the dancing thing might have been a wanting to be more feminine thing since women generally like to dance. The bathroom thing wasn't that I wasn't allowed, just wanted to avoid the hostility. It didn't escalate to the point that staff were involved. Personally, I'm very broadminded with that sort of thing. I went to Brown and we had coed bathrooms in my dorm, including the showers. I'll never forget the first time I went to the bathroom and looked at the floor of the stall next to me and the feet were pointing the wrong way. And of course what woman hasn't used the men's room? Architects don't seem to understand anatomical differences when allocating the number of bathrooms at theaters, concert arenas, etc. When there's a fifteen-minute line at the women's and no line at the men's, it's just common sense, especially if you have to go!

On the other hand, I can totally see it from the other side too. There's a lot of guys out there who are really into pee fetishes, and if they thought they could lurk in a stall and :censor: simply by dressing up as women, well anyhow, don't want to dwell on a topic that has been discussed to death, as you say. :dh2: :2c: Just wanted to give a heads up for GG's to avoid the social awkwardness if they wanted to.

[Rogina B]

Interesting that you don't appear as a GG to some..Wow! And you need help with the bathroom attendants.....Just go check your self in the mirror while washing up,fix what is necessary,and go out the door.That is what some of us T girls have learned to do...Oh yes,and ignore any protest made by any"BATHROOM ATTENDANT". Are they the janitor's boss or vice versa? lol:dh2:

[MsJanessa]

Oh my, there are CD's who don't find dressing sexual? Hmm...that would sort of defeat the point for me. :) I suppose they would be transexuals, correct? This is all very new to me.

there are lots of CDs who not only are turned on by dressing but are heterosexual in orientation---you will find a lot of them here and a good looking lady like you won't have any trouble getting dates with with an eligible CD

[Lorileah]

New Years Eve, you are out in a club, a lot of people have beer goggles on and they have the attitude enhanced by alcohol. That is the only explanation I can see for you getting any hostile looks from anyone. Point 1, you were dressed femininely (yes I know you are GG, and you dressed the part) and we have hashed this a million times here, if you walk the walk, you use the restroom you are dressed for. You don't need a low cut top to use the facilities. Trust me, there are a few of us who can wear low cut top and have as much cleavage as the next girl, so the top does not prove anything. Wear what you like. Rules go both ways here on CD.com. If you like it wear it. :)

Point 2. Some dress for sex, some dress because they like the feel, some dress because they really don't know yet. Early on it may start as a sexual fetish. That's cool. But with time it tends to morph into (OMG I am starting the new year saying a cliche' I hate) a comfort issue. That should not preclude you from having a good time with someone who CD's. Trust me, after the clothes come off...(cue Brad Paisley song)...CD's can "still be a man." ;)

Thank you so much for your support and trying to show that GG's can and do like CD's. You are not as uncommon as some think. I think we just hear from the people who didn't get as lucky as most and find a woman like you. The one's who do, don't tend to post how happy they are, the ones who don't scream from the rafters :) :hugs:

[Misty is Kindafem]

I was gonna keep my mouth shut but the effort required was getting to the point that I may have been dangerously close to an aneurysm.

Welcome Cordgrass. You rock.

You seem like a feisty broad with brain power to spare and I know you don't need my support but I'm giving it anyway.

Please don't let the oversensitive nellies scare you away from this board. I'm sure you've already noticed more than a little bit of incongruity between some of the comments and some of the threads. Heaven forbid a real woman come around here looking for !gasp! ...a date.

Oh no, it's apparently too offensive and fetishy to talk about what grownups do on the dance floor but threads about wearing bras to sleep in and the color of my underpants, are somehow protecting the non-fetish integrity of the forum so the un-accepting wife can feel safe?

In my never humble opinion, we could use MORE chicks like you so the wives can see that we're not pariahs and more importantly that they're NOT saints just for sticking with us.

You, my sassy and beautiful friend, are a breath of fresh air. This place starts to feel a bit like a virtual closet sometimes and it's refreshing when someone opens the door enough to let some wind in.

-Misty

[Sandra]

In my never humble opinion, we could use MORE chicks like you so the wives can see that we're not pariahs and more importantly that they're NOT saints just for sticking with us.

Misty


I wonder when someone would just have to have a go at the wives.. :Angry3:

Believe me some of the wives here, are saints more than you will ever know.

[ReineD]

Cordgrass, as I mentioned before, there is no "one size fits all". Especially in this forum. Best thing to do is to start dating someone and see how compatible you are. And post questions in FAB or here if any come up. :) Thinking about dating a TG, and actually dating one are two different things.

[Shelly Preston]

In my never humble opinion, we could use MORE chicks like you so the wives can see that we're not pariahs and more importantly that they're NOT saints just for sticking with us.
-Misty

I have to disagree with the statement on some of them not being saints

Some of them would have to take a step down to be a Saint


Cordgrass
The best dating advice I can give you is

Try to get to know the person as well as you can even before meeting them in person if you met them online

You may want to read this too
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93981

[Tiffanycd]

Hi Cordgrass and welcome to the forum i read some of your post's and i really like what you had to say Thank you for you being you reading what you had to say gives me hope when this side of you is the reason most of one's relationships ended (mine) not going to bore you or anyone else with the details i just wanted to say Thank You and welcome and don't give up you are a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart hay i am not giving up any more.

Tiffanycd
just a guy in heels a dress some time's
looking to open up a little more brake the shyness.