I mostly went out

[Megan_Okana]

I posted on another thread that my "resolution" was to go out dressed. Well tonight I kind of did. While Im writing this I still have my make up, wig, jewelery and even the French Manicure acrylic nails on. Need less to say I got all dolled up and was ready to go to the Christmas eve party at a local LGBT bar called Mad Myrna's. It took about 2 hours to get ready making sure I got my look right. Angel fire is right Eye make up is an art, liquid eye liner is one of the most difficult things ever! Anywho. So i worked up the courage. got in the car and drove over there. I circled the block about 6 times and finally pulled into the parking lot in back. After 5 minutes I finally grabbed my purse got out and lit up a ciggy. I walked around to the front and passed a few guys on my way and that made me nervous but I made it to the door. Thats when I saw "This door is locked at 8PM Please use the back entrance. So, I made my way to the back with my heels sinking in the snow and got back in my car. I had to rebuild my confidence. about another few rounds of driving around (some people have talked about this being a thrill. Eh. I was just driving, nothing special) So I found myself in the parking lot again, not really knowing where this door was. I spent about 15 minuets in my car stressing myself out. After seeing where people were coming in and out I worked myself up again and got back out. I walked towards the door and lit another smoke to calm my nerves. I was brave. I clutched my purse and walked in. I looked around and saw nothing but men in a well lit bar. No other T girls, nothin else. I was hopping there would be one or two gurls there. There is a drag show there every Friday so I though the odds would be good that there would be another gurl there but no luck. So that was the last shot to my confidence. After that I want home a little disappointed with myself for not even having a drink. but I did make it though the door so thats a step in the right direction.

[Christine Kelly]

Congrats for making it out of your car and walking into the bar. Going out starts with those first steps. After a while, you will be so used to it, you will have that drink, relax, and enjoy all that going out dressed is all about! Sharing that beautiful part of you with others.

[2B Natasha]

Good for you. You only circles the parking lot 5 times. Wish I was that lucky the first time out the door!

You went out of your house. You got out of your car. You walked into a club/bar, twice.

Your out in the world. WOOHOO! It get's easier each time. Sounds cliche I know, but it does. Let me ask you. Did anyone look at you oddly? You said you passed a few guy's, but you didn't say that they said anything or cat called or whistled, dang. ( wear a shorter skirt next time, that will get them drooling ) Did they say anything off color? Did you all of a sudden become a lady of the night? If you answered no to these questions, you just found out that the world will not eat you up when you leave your front door and it is a scream to go out.

Once again. Good for you. Now get out there and have some more fun.

Lisa

[Ugly Michele]

Have done things dressed, like pumped gas, soda from machine, and gotten McDonalds. Now if could only go into public malls or stores.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Megan,

First of all, congratulations on making it through the door and into the bar. :hugs: It's a bit of a shame that there were no other girls around when you went in :sad:, but the big thing is that you did go. :thumbsup:

The good news is that the first time is always the hardest and you have already got that one out of the way!

No need to beat yourself up about not stopping for a drink - that can be for next time; and I promise you going out does get easier every time. The only thing is it is also addictive.

I look forward to reading about your next outing, and remember that we are always here for you.

[tamarav]

Way to go Megan! I knew you had it in you from the first time I met you. You are going to have a great time. Keep up the outings and let us all know how you are doing.

Your old sis,

Tami

[Megan_Okana]

ok, so if you've been reading this you know about my first night out. Well over the last two nights I've gone out a few more times. I've made friends with a girl who lives in town, we've been chatting online so we went to hang out yesterday. I was a bit nervous and so was she. we hung out for a little while and she got a call from her friend, craig. and he wanted to hang out with both of us. She said "you should dress up and we should go over." I said. What the hell. So I got dressed, she helped a little with the eye shadow. And we went over. it was cool. We just hung out, talked and drove around. It was chill. Just hanging out with some friends I just happen to be one of the girls.

Tonight, when i got off of work I called up Lana. She came over and I got dressed up again and then she convinced me to go make up shopping with her. We went to Wally world, The only place open at 1 am that you can buy make up. So we went in, there was nothing weird about it. I didnt even get nervous until we were already in there for about ten minutes. There were a lot of people in there for one in the morning. A couple of very pretty girls about our age were going the other way in one of the cosmetics isles. I was afraid I was going to get read, they just kept their conversation going while we kept walking. We went and looked at shoes. They had ones in my size but they were super ugly so we browsed the clothing for a minute. We were in line waiting to check out when a cashier called out "Ladies! I can check out out over here" So we walked over she looked at us smiled and started ringing up my things. Lana was texting and told me about the last one she got. I said something like "Oh, thats good" Thats when the cashier's expression changed for just a second. she looked a little shocked, confused, and taken off guard. Up until I said something I was just another girl buying eye shadow and lip plumper.

So the moral of my story is, I pass until i say something. Thats my next step. make my voice more fem. Any one have any good advice for that?

[Rianna Humble]

Woo hoo! Sounds like you've found a true friend there :)

Thank you for posting this follow-up,

Sorry, no advice for the voice - mine's like a double bass :sad:

[shannonsilk]

Candi has a bunch of youtubes. This is the first one I looked at and it is good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaxxEyZBgR4

Shannon

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Megan. Its great what you've done but I worry about the passing bit. I would say forget about it and just be yourself; I can see that you are hugely brave.

BUT, once you have forgotten about it you will pass - I promise and I know its wierd.

Good luck and hugs.

[bridget jones]

What you did is commendable.Great job,I just hope your next outing is more relaxed and enjoyable for you.Don't give up girl,have fun.

[JamieOH]

If your avatar pic is you, HOly Moly, your a cutie!! wowsers.. I would be all over askin you out.. So, you definitely look the part.. no doubt.. now, as for the voice, well, I believe that it's a matter of conviction as to whether or not your voice will get you noticed.. If you are comfortable, and sure, and you feel like you look, and look like you feel, and talk like you mean it, guess what? Noone is going to question you one little bit. You are YOU and be proud of YOU. Because you are AWESOME!