why do we dress?

[rexy]

i would like to ask some of you girls if you dress for the some same reasons i do . The biggest reason i dress is because it just feels so good!! But one of the other reasons is because it is so relaxing sometimes .To come after a hard day of work and slip into something so soft and silkie. Do you do the same ??? :)

[MelindaC]

I agree completely .... it's definitely more relaximg. And for me, dressing (especially in dresses) is a heck of a lot more comfortable too.

[JoannaDees]

Coz ya can't walk around nekkid .... well Hot Lust maybe, but not most! :)

OK, being serious. I do it because it feels better? More natural? Comforting? Something makes it right.

[Sherlyn]

The same old question, that I myself cant really answer .... I do not know why ... I just do it .... and sometimes I wish it would stop

[ChristineRenee]

To remind myself externally that the woman within is predominately who I really am! Plus...it just feels so darn good!;)

[HaleyPink2000]

1. I'm half female inside.
2. Actually I like the clothes better.
3. Hmmm, I think I smell better after I dress. LOL
4. I look 10 years younger after.
5. Seems I like my Wife and others seeing me dressed. Being just one of the girls.
6. I am less aggressive that way.

Woooo 7. 8. 9. etc.
A lot more reasons, so many I don't have room on here to tell ya.

Haley:)

[JenniRose]

Absolutely! It just feels sooo good!

JenniRose

[Mx Justina]

Overall it's the "image" (androgyne image), it being deeply important to me...I'm on a visual life mission (so to speak)...and 'till my final bitter moments. Thrills I may have, when I get things right, but ultimately it's how well I express who I uniquely am.

J.

[Rainbow6562005]

Ah, the textures of women's clothing are so sweet and pleasing to the skin, as well as the eye.

And their shoes frame the beauty of one's feet and, if high heels, change the shape of the legs and the feet delightfully.

I take my own pictures of myself, too, so I get to be both the beguiling and lanquorous model, enjoying the sensuality of women's clothing; and I get to, simultaneously, have the pleasure of the visual and creative aspects of photography.

And when the pictures come back from the developer, I get to re-live the entire experience again!

Woohoo!
:)
Rainbow

[tifftg]

I love the feel, the look and especially the process of transforming from drab to more femme.

[Tristen Cox]

Real simple, because I want to and I like it :p

[Jamie M]

Real simple, because I want to and I like it :p

Amen sister , i gave up trying to analyse it too much ages ago , i like doing it , it's that simple :D

[eleventhdr]

it just is all of that. So what and why is the question. Just enjoy it that we are this way. After all being a girl is so much better anyway. Suzy!

[Gemma]

In the words of the immortal Billie "Coz I want to"

[kellypm]

i often asked juilia that same question in the beggining but i have always got the same answer just becuse she likes it and she wants to, i think she always looks happier and comfortable when on femme

kelly

[Heather Daniels]

I find dressing to be the best form of stress relief. Slipping into a dress, nylons, and heels, just seems to make me so relaxed, and comfortable.

[LouiseCassell]

I do because I can do.

Also the police in this country tend to arrest people for going out with no clothes on and if you saw my naked body you would whole heartedly agree with their actions.

[Angela Burke]

Birds gotta swim,
Fish gotta fly!

Love Angela XX

[Wendy me]

why do i dress ?? well if i have to spend the day in drabs i just feel so outa place...
this is me.........

[Laurie Ann]

Why not

[Clare]

Why? I have no idea, its just something within me that needs to express itself.

As for practical reasons, my crossdressing brings about stress relief. I am so much more relaxed and content when enfemme.

Christine

[emmicd]

I dress because I have to. I started at 5 years old and have done it ever since. There were periods where I didn't dress but always came back to it. Tried many times to stop altogether. Rid myself of several wardrobes only to go out and buy new dresses and panties.

I too like the way womens clothes feel and very much enjoy wearing dresses with bra, panties and pantyhose. I just feel much better and happier too!

Emmi

[Deanna2]

Relaxation and comfort sums it up for me. I feel just so great when I'm wearing a miniskirt and heels.

[kazeparker]

As a TG who doesn't plan to transition, I've dressed on the rare occasion to try and bring my mind and body into some sort of harmony where my gender is concerned. Generally, I've dressed to feel normal, and I don't get a sense of euphoria except for the feeling that I'm closer to being the kind of person I wish I could be. Sometimes I can imagine being a girl well enough, but also sometimes I need this extra push to try and understand what my brain is thinking.

[Mandy Salamander]

,,,cuz,,, once upon a time,, at 3:30 in the afternoon,,, a little voice came unto me and said,,"If you try on a dress and heels and lipstick,, you will like it",,,,, so i did,,,,, and,,, the little voice rejoiced and became a chorus of angels welcoming me into paradise,,,,so it goes...

[Claire B]

I enjoy dressing, and the removal of all stress. The great feeling of not having a care in the world is an enjoyment, that many do not ever get a chance to have.

Hugs, Claire

[Tiffy]

I dress because with out it, I am pretty much dead and not myself.

Kisses, April

[heatherCD8772]

Well I am like most everyone else, I dont know why I do it I just know it feels good to do it so I do :)

[rexy]

thank all of you looking at my thread, all i have to say is keep on dressing girls :) :) :)

[Phoebe Reece]

To quote Flip Wilson's character Geraldine: "The devil made me do it!"

Seriously, don't get hung up on the why. Just enjoy the experience.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

As Phoebe says, better to just go with it and not to obsess over the why. That said, awhile in a another forum I took a lengthy look (you have been warned :) ) at some of the motivations I've seen. The reasons include:

- Submissives -- They're most visibly prevalent in the BDSM scene. Their primary kick is submission and what could be more "humiliating" than being emasculated. However, forced femme is a pretty common fantasy among both CDs and TSs, and I think that it's way for T-girls to avoid guilt and shame (similar to women who have rape fantasies to cope with anxiety about their sexuality), and it may also be a wish-fulfillment rewriting their childhoods where they were forced homme.

- Fetishism -- Since most of us start dressing around adolescence, I think that's probably a common spark, even if the tinder was laid by other causes. (Some CDs do start in childhood and I can't really speak to what starts it for them, since that's not my own story.) Not surprising, since given my teenage hormones anything having to to do with girls had sexual overtones. But there's studies showing this driver often becomes more of a secondary motivation over time.

However it does seem like a number of girls do have an "embracing their inner ****" aspect. This might have a couple causes. First, underneath the dress, we've still got testosterone-fueled sex drives. Second, since of lot of girls only get to come out occasionally, they're still teenage girls emotionally and strutting their stuff the way some of the GWs did at that age. Just like the over-done make-up corresponds with the Bozo years of teenage GGs. Especially since there's no parents to say "You're not going out dressed like that!", nor the peer groups who might label you the school ****, both of which cause most GGs to tone things down sooner or later. Third, women still generally control how far things go. So it's a fantasy projection of "if I were a women I'd never say no."

- Sensuality/Feeling Good -- Let's face it, silk feels nicer than denim. If this is the main driver, it may be enough just to wear some panties under their guy clothing and they don't feel the need to appear as a woman. In a similar vein, getting a manicure or facial feels great, and fortunately it's now acceptable for men to do that sort of thing, whereas it was considered odd only a few years ago so you had to be a "women" to enjoy it.

- Looking good -- Women's clothes can be more fun -- shoes, shoes, shoes! -- especially if your guy clothes are drab by comparison. And while I'm not sure if I'm more attractive wearing make-up than in guy-mode, I'm certainly prettier, since make-up by definition helps improve your appearance. It'll be interesting to see if the metrosexual revolution satisfies this urge for some.

- Showing off -- Men in our culture don't have license to be exhibitionistic the way women do. For example, I used to work with a GW who just loved showing off her body in a tight summer dress and heels. A guy who did the equivalent would probably get hauled into HR for a talk about sexual harassment. It does seem like a lot of CDs go through a phase of acting like 14-year-girls who've just discovered womanhood -- too much make-up, too much on display, etc. But you'll also find some GWs who enjoy being exhibitionistic -- as you'll see at any nightclub. 'Course if you're expected to constantly be on display that's not necessarily fun. But I think CDs are generally acting out an idealized version of what being a woman would be like. Dress up doesn't include bloating, cramps, doing the second-shift of housework after a long day at the office, pay discrimination, etc.

- Expressing your "feminine" side -- It seems like there's a lot of girls who in guy mode are in either macho or logical professions/cultures. The Myers-Briggs personality theory has the idea that everyone has a "shadow self" that's the opposite of your dominant personality traits, i.e. if you're extroverted, you've got a introverted part of yourself, if you're natural temperament is intellectual, you've got a feeling-oriented "shadow self" as well. MB argues these "shadow" parts tend to surface more as we age, developing a more rounded personality. For guys who's en homme personality is macho or Spock-like, I think CDing may be a way of dealing with parts of themselves that they've compartmentalized off, but that are "leaking" out. For guys who with more androgynous personalities, it's a way of letting out the more sensitive parts of their personalities that they don't feel comfortable doing so en homme for fear of being labeled wussy.

- Envy of women -- Some folks say they idolize women and want to be like them. Their view of women's position in society is often unrealistic and idealized and we often see their cross-dressing expressed as stereotypes of various sorts.

Interesting, a pyschologist who specializes in working with transgenders has observed strong sexism in some of her transgendered patients -- (http://www.avitale.com/MTFSexism.htm) -- and devaluation is a common flip side to over-idealization in envious people. Both are attempts to break the (perceived) power the other holds other them. Both essentially create such an unequal power relationship that there's no "competition." OTOH, the sexist Vitale observed could just as easily be an effort at denial.

- Being someone else -- A fair number of CDs dress as a form of stress relief according to various studies. And what could be a better way to get away from yourself than to be someone else, especially some who's even a different gender (and perhaps a different race in our fantasies). For me, I think that's a significant reason why I started since I didn't really fit in during high school. In this sense, putting on a dress ain't that different than putting on a Starfleet uniform or being a hard-core Ren Faire participant. (Again, has anyone else noticed that these kinds of "alternative" activities, tend to attract a lot of engineers and programmers? It's as if putting on the costume allows them enough distance to act out parts of their personalities that they wouldn't do otherwise.) What's different is we're explicitly stepping away from some of the pressures "to be a man." Instead of getting up the nerve to ask someone to dance, we can be the ones who can sit back and choose who we accept.

The next three drivers seem a bit interwined, so it's a little hard to draw discrete boundaries among them.

- Creativity -- Some crossdressers seem to be interested in for chance to be creative, since cross-dress does involve all of the theater arts (costume, make-up, acting). They love putting together wardrobes and/or experimenting with make-up styles. For some, including myself, their femme persona is at least partly a character, and we make conscious decisions about how our femme self will be as a person. Wild or mild? Ditzy or brainy? Nuturing or bitchy?

- Mastery -- The desire to become skilled and competent at what one does. I don't think this is something that starts men cross-dressing, but it's a reinforcer that can develop over time, similar to any other hobby. Once I decided I wanted to be able to leave the house, I realized I need to improve my dressing, make-up as well as movement and voice skills, and did so with a vengeance. I'm not obsessed with passing, since I know I'll be read part of the time, but when I do blend in there's a certain satisfaction in having pulled it off.

- Fooling the world -- While there are all sorts of reasons for going out, some people seem to get off on the transgressive nature of being out en femme, as well as the risk of "getting caught." But as I mentioned in "mastery" there's also a satisfaction in going out and knowing you did a good enough job in your presentation that most people didn't realize your secret.

I suspect in most cases, there's probably more than one driver -- since there needs to be enough momentum to overcome the self-knowledge that we're about to do something society generally considers strange at best -- and also the main driver depends on circumstances. For example, if I'm out clubbing, it's probably more about looking good/showing off than expressing the softer part of my personality. And I'm sure there's probably other motivations that I've missed. If anyone's got suggestions about other motivations, I'd love to hear about them.