Things that cause me untold rage: "Are you a man? In a dress?!"

[sophieporter]

I'm a teen CD, and one of the things that causes a HUGE amount of rage for me is when girls turn to me and remind me that "it's for girls!", or "you aren't a girl!".
I mean, don't get me wrong, there are a few girls who know my other side and they're reassy supportive, but just those few who feel that i should restrict myself, or just find it funny to mock me when i'm terrified enough to start with.

What causes you to rage when dressed or dressing?

[Kate Simmons]

It takes a lot to get me angry but usually what riles me is extreme stupidity.:)

[5150 Girl]

I find that women who make comments like the :that's for girls" type ting you mention, often change their tune when they find out I'm trans-genderd. Then they can't do enough to guide me down the girly path, as it were....

[Joanne f]

Not everyone is going to understand that there are more people that are just man or woman , it takes a special understanding of life to realise that there are people who are different , you are one of those special people you may be lucky enough in life to find friends that realise it as well .

[Karren H]

I don't really get angry... Unless some ole bat cuts in me off at the clearence racks!! Then all hell breaks loose! :)

[SuzanneBender]

Darling you are a teen. Unfortunately, at that age peer pressure is huge and those that don't fit the mold get picked on. Take heart princess, the mean girls go away as they get older and more mature. Actually, I think they grow up and become mean wives, but thats a whole other topic.

Don't get angry. Educate, ask them why something is only for girls. Challenge their view of the world. It may not stop all of the mocking, but it may change their minds.

You stay true to you and who you are and all will work out in the long run.

[rocketscientist]

I would have to say that joanne f and Suzanne said it the best it can be said.:)

[sherri52]

What riles me is when someone who doesn't know the definition of cd tries to tell me i'm gay. I have 8 children and no thoughts of being gay. I associate with all who will stand to listen to me or wish to do the talking. I do not label anyone and I deserve the same courtesy.

[DaisyG]

Sophie, sorry to hear you're getting steamed.

I know how teen girls are free with disparaging remarks about anyone different from them. To deal with this, the best you can do is harden yourself inside. If you can avoid showing any trace of response (even though inside you feel like bashing someone's head in), and don't give them any satisfaction, they are more likely to shut up. With luck, they might even feel a little foolish and unsatisfied themselves, because a lot of the reason for their remarks was simply to get a rise out of you.

Many years ago my Mom showed me the value of this approach to handling hecklers.
It has held me in good stead for a l o n g time, in many kinds of situations.

Hugs,

Daisy

[Nicole Erin]

Sophie it is like this -
yes there are always gonna be a-holes to deal with. And yes it is difficult.
Thing is, people who like to stick their nose in other's business tend to not have anything going for themselves.

Now what annoys me? Well if some young women are laughing I could care less, I usually just blurt out "F*** off" and they don't say anything else. Immature as it sounds, it really does seem to work.

But for me it is the stupid hicks who act moronic about it when they "read" me. I didn't used to hate them so much until I started having problems with them. Thing is, if it is teen girls acting stupid, it is not a threat. If it is the hicks who are acting stupid, THAT is what you need to treat as a threat. Those are the ones more likely to get violent.

Look at Matthew Sheppard or Brandon Teena, their assailants were not some ditsy teen girls, it was some "good ol boys".

Also, teens love to insult each other or tear down their peers' self esteem. If you ask anyone who is out of high school how they felt about the people they went to school with quite often it will bring up some bad memories, no matter what kind of life a person is into.

[AllieSF]

My rare rage when dressed comes when I cannot find a parking spot to start that special time out on the town. I just hate driving around looking for a place to park! Otherwise, I just try to be mellow as I can while dressed. It works most of the time.

[Jason+]

I'm with Denise on this one. Ignorance I have a chance to work around; blatant belligerent stupidity there's just no fix for.

When I was a teen I didn't fit in well, I can't imagine having even tried to do what you are accomplishing going out as you please at your age.

Be safe and try not to let the :swear: 's get you down!

[i_am_stefani]

I too am a teen, and it gets really tough sometimes...But, I've learned to roll with the punches...Not everybody is going to accept you...I really don't get too bothered by remarks like that...When it comes down to it, the people who I am close with know that I'm not gay and are very accepting. I could care less what anyone else thinks. I'm never going to see them again. So keep your chin up and buy those jeans that are "for girls." I know I am.

[Kristen Marie]

Or a clerk who hands to back your credit card and piurposely calls you your male name.....it olnly happened once 2 years ago but it's in my memory. I try to put it away, but the memory is there. I've learned to say things like, I usually go by Kristen, but here's my male credit card and smile. So I guess I learn to help direct behavior whenever I'm confronted with those issue.

[dilane]

I'm a teen CD, and one of the things that causes a HUGE amount of rage for me is when girls turn to me and remind me that "it's for girls!", or "you aren't a girl!".
I mean, don't get me wrong, there are a few girls who know my other side and they're reassy supportive, but just those few who feel that i should restrict myself, or just find it funny to mock me when i'm terrified enough to start with.

What causes you to rage when dressed or dressing?

Rage doesn't figure into it at all. I'll tell you one thing, though: every read causes me to think about how I can improve my presentation.

If you're surrounded by mean, nasty, low-class people, get out of there as soon as you're able.

You can't change people (ok some people might be assuaged, but don't count on it) -- you can only change youself or your situation.

"If people don't want to like you, nothin' can stop 'em".


-- Diane

[Tracii G]

The main thing to remember is they are teenaged girls they put everybody down even each other.
I wouldn't hang around them if they treat you that way.
The best way to counter girls like that is to not be around them.Say hi if they do only.
Never beg for a friend.A true friend will find you.
Being a teen is tough and I have never forgotten just how hard it can be.Peer pressure is strong.
Be yourself and stay proud of who you are.CD's are very special people IMO.
Not many people understand the transgender experience and trust me I have delt with some real ass hats that say dude are you gay?WTF is wrong with you?That kind of thing.
My advice join the local TG group in your area and make friends there.

[Emma England]

If someone says "it's for girls", then reply back asking "who told you that?"

[carolinoakland]

usually it's the 'sir' from sales clerks. I will quietly but firmly correct them with "it's miss". and if they raise their voice in an attempt to browbeat me.... wrong person to try that with. I CAN speak loud enough to be heard in a football field sized auditorium, ..." What is that SIR?" Then they the the full volume " I'M SORRY, IT'S MISS!" One of the great things about being right is that I'm not living in fear anymore. Just chaulk it up to peoples stupidity...

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't have the energy to rage any more, but I do get irritated with the men who recognize a mtf CD and respond to their own internal fears rather than the actual situation. It clouds their minds and makes communication difficult and safety a potential issue.

[ShannonAlexandra]

I thought you had to be 18 to join the forums?

[Karen564]

I don't really get angry... Unless some ole bat cuts in me off at the clearence racks!! Then all hell breaks loose! :)

EXACTLY!!!!

Same here....lol

[Stephanie Miller]

Unfortunatly Sophie it is something that you are going to have to deal with your whole life. Not just teenage years. I am around GG's all day long that put not only thier own gender down when they can but males too. They just lack self confidence, and they don't know how to take themselves to a higher plane.
Hold your head high and know you are a better person for not needing to belittle others.
There are lots of girls out there that aren't like that. Find them to hang around with and enjoy life.

[sarah_alexander]

Never be angry...never! Believe in what you, and I and most of us just are! We are fine beautiful people that quite honestly aren't easy to get, but once you do....you are in for a treat. I laugh at people who won't accept me and praise, praise and praise the people that do!

[eluuzion]

Confronting "rage" is analogous to killing ****-roaches for me. If you encounter one, there are a thousand more close by.

I noticed that someone hear has a permanent statement included on all of their posts...it happens to be my favorite saying, and one I live by...

"Never argue with an idiot,
They will just bring you down to their level,
And beat you with experience..."

I rarely feel "rage". I am too fascinated with how people think and why they do/say the things they do. It is always interesting. You cannot change what people say or do, you can decide how to react to it. In most cases such as your example, the most effective response, is none at all. They are looking for an audience, so they can display their low self esteem issues.

There is always somebody with a bigger gun than yours. No body can make you feel inferior without your permission. -=-Eleanor Roosevelt...

HaveFun/BeHappy

[Rachel Morley]

Tell me about it! :Angry3: All my life, whenever I've had people tell me "it's just for girls!" or "you can't, because you aren't a girl" ... or something similar, it used to make me angry inside. I can't say I ever got in a real rage about it or anything, but I totally understand, it is very annoying ... and actually, I feel really quite hurt by it :sad:

[Samantha_Smile]

Y'know what really gets my goat?






The goat catcher :D

[bethany356]

Do I need to bust some knee caps? I'll do it!:devil: It's a bummer no one has ever taken me up on the offer...:sad:

People are ignorent and don't like what is outside of their definition of "normal".

[Satrana]

Girls can be chauvinists too. This reflects their ignorance and low self-esteem that they want to put you down. So remember their comments reflect on them not who you are.

So either give them a big cheery grin or make a rebuttal with something like "And careers and pants are only for men". If they don't get the point then save yourself the hassle and walk away.

No point in getting angry. Ignorance is everywhere. Whether deliberate or intentional, you will be getting these types of comments if you go out in public. Accept that it will happen from time to time and look at it as an opportunity to educate, although teenagers are admittedly a tough sell.

[Aleca]

Being called a "he" when you want to be called and/or feel like a she can certainly make anyone upset. I get upset with too many things the public can do to mention but probably the most upsetting is when I get down on myself, go on a guilt trip just because I set foot in public around people I don't even know.