Got Dumped , again

[robin/rjs]

Oh well , short story , met a very nice lady through a work associate, talked and chatted on line for about three weeks, Had one very nice dinner date that we both enjoyed, She has young children and I was ok with that, mine are almost grown up. I call her over the weekend and just got her voice mail , so I just left a nice hey how are you , hope your weekend was nice. So this afternoon I got an e-mail note from her , sorry but I was just too nice of a guy for her style . She said I was very sweet and thanks for the date. Did I miss something ? what is wrong with nice and sweet, I dont get it ,, Maby she saw through to my girly side, Please give some feedback from some GG , :love:

[kathy gg]

Hi Robin,

I am sorry that this did not work out. I don't know how much dating you have done, since you have been married I can assume you have dated enough to get at least one girl to marry you :)

Anyway, you asked for the gg thoughts...

Sometimes women (yes, even me included) have probably said something along those lines when having gone on a first date. It is alot easier to say (and hear) gee your really nice but not what I am looking for at this time. Than to say gosh, I felt no 'wow'. NOone wants to here that. Usually the guy is nice enough, seems sweet, but maybe there was no physical attraction or that 'spark' that you get when you feel that feeling. The feeling that says "I gotta see this guy again!".

I don't think niceness or your feminine side were deterants. Just probably she did not feel that feeling and felt no reason to see you again. Be glad that she has saved you time an energy (and $$)and rather than you having to go on ten dates before hearing you are not the one.

I know this is always tough, but keep plugging, eventualy you will meet a woman who feels that spark and you will too!

Hgus
kathy in canada



Oh well , short story , met a very nice lady through a work associate, talked and chatted on line for about three weeks, Had one very nice dinner date that we both enjoyed, She has young children and I was ok with that, mine are almost grown up. I call her over the weekend and just got her voice mail , so I just left a nice hey how are you , hope your weekend was nice. So this afternoon I got an e-mail note from her , sorry but I was just too nice of a guy for her style . She said I was very sweet and thanks for the date. Did I miss something ? what is wrong with nice and sweet, I dont get it ,, Maby she saw through to my girly side, Please give some feedback from some GG , :love:

[susandrea]

Could be just a "chemical thing", who knows....yes it's true she may be the type who's attracted to "bad boys" or macho men but....

You'll probably never know so don't beat yourself up about it. YOU know you were kind and decent, friendly and mature, so you didn't "mess up".

I'd just chalk it up to "not meant to be" and keep trying. There ARE plenty of women out there who appreciate a decent guy. :thumbsup:

[Melissa A.]

I'm not a GG, but I hope I can help. women say you are nice and sweet to be, well, nice. It just means there wasn't any "magic", or overwhelming attraction. I've been there. It's a tough world out there, and it takes lots of tries, sometimes. There's nothing wrong with nice and sweet. Lots of different women like lots of different qualities. She didn't see anything unusual. Keep on being that way. You'll find her.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Adrianne]

I am so sorry, you will fine that special person like i did but it is hard when you are dumped.
Keep your faith, i wish you all the luck in the world.

All the best Adrianne.

[Sharon]

So this afternoon I got an e-mail note from her , sorry but I was just too nice of a guy for her style . She said I was very sweet and thanks for the date. Did I miss something ? what is wrong with nice and sweet, I dont get it ,, Maby she saw through to my girly side, Please give some feedback from some GG , :love:

I can't speak as a GG, but this is a line I've heard a couple times. I just think it's what some women think is a kind (or painless) way to say that they don't see in us whatever it is they're looking for in a relationship.

[Mistress Frillee]

I have dated nice, sweet, attractive women. But past a few dates it did not progress. There was no chemistry between us, so I eneded it.......this is what happened to you.....But look at it in this fashion, you are now 1 step closer to being with the right person for you!

so its a good thing, no sense going out with someone only to find out 12 months down the road that your not her type.......

[uknowhoo]

Sorry 'bout your tough luck, Robin. My take is similar to the others, probably just no spark/wow, or she was just being kind.

I have an additional thought... why not ask her? It's not like you "have anything to lose" by asking for frank feedback, if that's what you want. Explain where you're coming from, and maybe she'll do you the courtesy of doing the same.

Good luck with it, and otherwise.

Hugs,

Tammi

[Di]

Like the others said,,,just no spark....nothing you did or said or anything like that i,m sure...your ONE will come along

[Rainbow6562005]

Hi, Robin,

Though not a GG, I've been in your painful, filled-with-self-doubt position.
Though you hurt now, she did you a great favor by telling you the truth now, rather than after you'd invested more in the relationship.

Why? you ask.
Does it really matter, if you're willing to let her go?

Whatever kind of person you are, there'll be tons of women coming your way in time.

Rainbow
PS. Research indicates that many women are drawn to "bad boys," early in their life. After all the inevitable distresses of hanging out with them surface, most of the women settle down with the nice guys, not the others.

[RachelDenise]

Dating isn't fun for most everyone. You are always being evaluated and the rejection hurts. There are times when a thick skin helps, but if you are the sensitive type, then it may be more difficult. I've never enjoyed dating and didn't like the rejection thing. Be glad that it has come early before you had invested more time. My guess is that you thought there was some spark otherwise you wouldn't have felt to bad about the let down. If it goes well, then all is wonderful! (Ain't love grand?)

[inherundys]

Like the song said, "Thank God for unanswered prayers" ;)

[Julie]

My daughter and I had a conversation Sunday that might be pertinent to this thread. She's been seeing a guy at school she's obviously interested in. He doesn't want to get involved and she says she doesn't either (she dated the same guy for six years and that ended only a couple of months ago). But I can hear it in her voice she wants a commitment from him, she just won't admit it. I told her it sounds like both are playing games.

Then she admitted something to me I have known for a long time, which is especially true for very attractive women, if a guy acts too interested, they lose interest in him. She wanted a commitment from her new flame but knows that might kill her interest in him if he committed. The cat and mouse game hasn't yet run it's course. So this guy, if he's game playing, is doing the right thing by saying he doesn't want to be tied to one girl. Apparently he's an attractive guy and girls easily fall for him. I know this no involvement position he's taken has my daughter all wrapped up.

If it's too easy to get, it's not appreciated. The harder and longer you have to work at it to get it, the more you appreciate it. What you get seems to be less important than how easy or hard it is to get. Humans are weird.

[kellypm]

as the girls have probably said it was most likely nothing you said or did , just with some women the initial spark is something they look for, and if she did not feel it she may have felt like she was wasting your time.

I would not take it personally and rather put id down to experiance as to how unpreditable some women can be :)

kelly