SA and SLAA: quitting

[susan2010]

Has anyone else out there tried to stop crossdressing thru SA or SLAA?
Please comment if you had any experience with these organizations.

[celeste26]

sorry never heard of either of them.

[Karren H]

Me neither?

[Joni Marie Cruz]

I googled them. They seem to be more oriented to sexual addiction or compulsion rather than TG issues. To me being TG is a gender related issue (how you feel about yourself as far as being masculine or feminine) and not sexual expression or acting out.

Maybe they could help, but personally I doubt it. Why do you want to quit, anyway? And, yes, I do know, as I'm sure everyone else here knows, how difficult it can make our lives, especially if we're not willing to accept ourselves and to realize there is nothing "wrong" with us.

Good luck.

Hugs...Joni Mari

PS: I believe this is the group that was referred to http://www.theaac.co.za/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=77&Itemid=80

[AmandaBlack]

Quitting...no way, I'm not quitting something I enjoy!

[Brandi Wyne]

I am not familiar with either of those name. Care to expand on that?

[susan2010]

I think they are similar to or even associated with AA. Designed to deal with "sex addiction". They both have meetings and follow a 12 step program. Has anyone been thru that? I'm under pressure to make this last ditch attempt to quit or else.

[sometimes_miss]

For me, crossdressing is sort of 'normal'. Dressing as a guy is 'abnormal'. So to put me in a state where I cannot ever crossdress, would cause stress. There would have to be another outlet for that for me to stop crossdressing. Joining any sort of organization isn't going to do it.

[DiannaRose]

For me, crossdressing is sort of 'normal'. Dressing as a guy is 'abnormal'. So to put me in a state where I cannot ever crossdress, would cause stress. There would have to be another outlet for that for me to stop crossdressing. Joining any sort of organization isn't going to do it.

I'm with you on this, Miss. :)

I feel better in a dress...more relaxed, more comfortable, and, oddly, more confident. I don't view what I do as an addiction, but my wife and her counselor (who admits she knows little about this topic) have talked about the possibility that I could quit. I think my wife gets that It's not the same as smoking or drinking. She doesn't like it, but she gets it. :)

Susan, I don't think it's going to work, but you can at least talk to them and find out if you fit their profile for someone suffering from a sex addiction. I honestly don't think that's you, though. BUT...if you do talk to them, you can tick that particular check-box and take that result back to your marriage counselor.

I'd try to find a counselor versed in TG issues, if I could. I'm lucky enough to have found one for my wife and I.

Do keep us posted on this...I think you've got a lot of people pulling for you. :)

[jenna_woods]

same here never heard of them,

[AmandaM]

If I thought it was purely sexual, I'd say maybe it's worth it. But, for me anyway, there's the gender aspect.

[arbon]

I think they are similar to or even associated with AA. Designed to deal with "sex addiction". They both have meetings and follow a 12 step program. Has anyone been thru that? I'm under pressure to make this last ditch attempt to quit or else.



Hi Susan

They are not associated with AA but do use the AA 12 steps and try to utilize those same principles.

I don't have much experience with them, but have been to a couple of meetings a long time ago and read their literature. For my problem the answer was no, it was not helpful, but like you said that program is about addiction to sex which was not really my problem.

If you think of your crossdressing as a sexual addiction or causing problems for you in that area, then yeah, you might find some help with that. You can always check it out and see, nothing to lose in doing that . Or buy their book on-line first and read it and see if it is something that fits what you are going through, see if you relate to what they are talking about.

[DAVIDA]

When I tried a 12 step program, I was at my truck in nine steps and hauled ass!:heehee:

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

The only thing you need to stop is to stop. If you don't need to stop, don't. If you need to stop, stop. It really is that simple.











Repeat my post three times fast and you'll be too screwed up to get dressed at all

[ReineD]

I read the SLAA material some years ago. It is a good program for sexual compulsions, but difficult to find meetings unless you live in a larger city.

It is not uncommon for the CDing to be sexual, especially if it is deep in the closet. Have you attempted to engage in non-sexual activities as Susan, such as attending a TG support group?

[Alice Torn]

Sexaholics Anonymous, and Sex and love addicts anonymous. I went to a SlAA meeting once, and have a SA big book. Since my sex drive is nearly nil, it is not so much a driver, in dressing, now. I only dress a few times a month, and it seems lots of work. I dress just to look pretty, and, whe pretty, i do think about being with a man, dancing, touching, but, seldom sexual, like only a few years ago. The groups can be helpful, but, like one said, they are mainly in cities.

[Glenda58]

Went to them for about 2 months. I felt they good for some of the other sexual vices but for CD they didn't have anything and I didn't feel like I was part of that group. So I left.

If you like dressing because it makes you feel good or you want to be someone else. Then SA won't help you.

[Kitty Sue]

Hi, yes I went to SAA for several years. Looking back it is a great program. However after a long while and working with a sponsor CDing was, at least in my case seperate from sexual compulsion. Although CDing can be sexual for me, that is not always the case.

SAA and SA both deal primarily with sexual compulsions, while SLAA also deals with "love addiction." I found that as I became more accepting of me, that the "S" programs did not really apply to me. However, these programs are great and if a person feels they cannot control their sexual compulsiveness then these programs are superb.

Prior to joining SAA I had attended AA and NA for a couple of years. I still attend AA and NA and I still have many great friends in the "S" programs.

The "S" meetings are extremely powerful and some of the topics and experiences people had are jaw dropping and very sad. My CDing was (at least in the meetings I attended) the tamest of the group. With the "S" programs people are accepting and caring, honest and open. In SAA it was nice feeling that no matter what people were not judging me.

I do not know if "S" meetings could be used to stop cross dressing (this wold all depend on what the "S" meetings call bottom lines. Bottom lines are designated by individual program members.

In hindsight, stopping CDing is definitely one of the reasons I attended. What I got instead was so much more, I began to accept myself and through that self acceptance came love and the realization that I was okay just the way I am. While I do not attend the "S" meetings now, I still have great friends in the program, and they say I am more than welcome to visit them anytime.

My one caution is the following. If you attend these meetings, be prepared to come across people with rather tame compulsions(by societies standards) who are simple crossdressers like you or me or people who cannot stop buying pornography, all the way up to and including rapists and pedophiles. I know I was taken by surprise and actually shocked when I heard what some people had done. Initially I had a hard time accepting some of the people in the "S" meetings due to some of their compulsions. Thanks to my earlier experience in AA and NA I began to realise that those people were seeking help for their problems. Realizing that allowed me to be accepting of them and other people in general.

RaineD's suggestion about a TG support group is a suggestion I would second. In my experience they are certainly more pertinent to me and I feel I have much common with members in the TG group than I had with members in the "S" programs.

So, what I am trying to say is this. Yes I went to SAA, no it did not make me stop CDing, yes it did help me love and accept myself. If you would like to attend a "S" meeting and you cannot find one in your area, you can PM me if you like and I could probably get the information for you, all the best, Kitty Sue.

[harmony]

this reminds me of the time some 25 years ago when i got divorced.my ex wanted me to be what she thought i should be which was not me at all.so my choices were live a lie for the rest of my life or be myself.
it really was not that much crossdressing related.

[Rachel05]

Enjoy my dressing way too much now to consider quitting!!

[Missy]

I am powerless over crossdressing
SA is a 12 step program that deals with lust a common root of sex addicts
And if you do work the 12 steps you can stop crossdressing if you really want to

[susan2010]

Thanks to all for your comments.
You gave me a lot to think about.

[trannie T]

I don't need it I can quit dressing whenever I want to. Really. I could. If I wanted to I could.

[rachelgirlnw]

Hi Susan,

I went to several SA meetings, but this was before I understood my CD side. I was trying to fix something that was "wrong" with me. I also read several books such as "Out of the Shadows".

Bottomline was that I could see similarities, but the connection & fit just didn't feel quite right. Yeah, I think the group was helpful for a lot of people with their issues, but it just wasn't for me. Coming to terms with dressing as part of my identity has been much more helpful.

Then again, there is a wide range of transgenderism and everybody's situation is different. I can only speak for my own situation.

I hope that helps.

Take care,
Rachel

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Too much time, too much money spent too quit. It would also be like removing half of my brain, soul or essence if I quit.

But good luck to anyone who wants to quit if that is your choice.:thumbsup:

[skirtsuit]

I'm under pressure to make this last ditch attempt to quit or else

So I gather you don't want to quit but somebody else wants you to and there will be consequences if you don't?

Sounds to me like you both need to see a therapist/gender counciler(sp?) or something similar. The internet is not necessarily the best place to get help with somebody else's psycological problems.

Good luck,
Ann / SS