Why can't I just wear a skirt!?

[rocketscientist]

:sad: Well, it's Sat. afternoon and a few of my buddies called and want me to go bowling with them. I've just been mulling about the house enfemme all day. I've got get dressed en drab so I can go, but all I seem to wanna do is put on another skirt! The pants don't look or feel right and I've dreaded slipping off my heels in exchange for some heavy boots. I wanna go ,but I'd rather wear my new LEI boots I got for Christmas and a short black sweater dress with a cute belt that TOTALLY matches my boots! I'm going crazy and really confused. Ok, maybe you can't help me right now, but maybe you have similar "episodes". Just wanted to vent to some who might understand. As always Hugs, Tonya:battingeyelashes:

[Sandra]

Whilst I can understand to wanting to go fem....bowling in a short dress IMO isnt very practical, unless you want to draw attention to yourself. :)

[sherri52]

This is where a cute pair of womens jeans come in handy. Most men wouldn't know the difference

[Rachel Morley]

I think I know what you mean. I just wanna wear what I wanna wear, when I wanna wear it .... and not have to "explain myself" or somehow "justify why I want to wear girls clothes".

In my case (and I'm not sure if you were alluding to the same thing or not) it's about wanting to wear nice clothes that make me feel happy and confident about myself, and doing it how and when I want to, which doesn't always mean dressing fully en femme.

[Karren H]

This is where a cute pair of womens jeans come in handy. Most men wouldn't know the difference

Right? If know body knows... Then why wear them?

[trannie T]

Right? If know body knows... Then why wear them?

Because I know.

[Carole Cross]

Why not go out in a skirt? It would be a good way of coming out to them if they did not already know. :devil:

[Karren H]

Because I know.

Exactuly!! You know it's ohh so wrong! Lol. :D

[KristinSkye]

:sad: Well, it's Sat. afternoon and a few of my buddies called and want me to go bowling with them. I've just been mulling about the house enfemme all day. I've got get dressed en drab so I can go, but all I seem to wanna do is put on another skirt! The pants don't look or feel right and I've dreaded slipping off my heels in exchange for some heavy boots. I wanna go ,but I'd rather wear my new LEI boots I got for Christmas and a short black sweater dress with a cute belt that TOTALLY matches my boots! I'm going crazy and really confused. Ok, maybe you can't help me right now, but maybe you have similar "episodes". Just wanted to vent to some who might understand. As always Hugs, Tonya:battingeyelashes:

haha, I can completely relate. In the past 4 days I've spent at least half of my time fully dressed. Today I decided I should hang out with some guy friends and all I could think about was going home and redressing...even sitting at the bar stool my feet kept feeling like they were in my hooker boots even though I was wearing plain old Etnies sneakers. Talk about torture...

BTW "LEI boots I got for Christmas and a short black sweater dress with a cute belt that TOTALLY matches my boots", wheres the pics!

[KateW]

I have been dressed 90% of the year so far. I only got changed for a few hours to go to the cinema and then got changed back again the second I got home. I don't think I am going to like going back to work on monday! Argh!

[Sylvermane]

This has become quite the dilemma for myself as well. While I do understand the practicality of pants in many situations... Yea skirts are the only way to go and I feel your pain daily.

[donnalee]

I retired a few months ago, and have spent most of my time at home in skirts. There is an unbelieveable sense of relief when I'm able to come home and get out of pants that are too restricting and uncomfortable, and into a skirt or dress; it's like my body can finally breathe again. :) It's very easy to layer skirts when it's cold, or the reverse when it's hot; far easier and more comfortable than pants.

[Christina Horton]

If it were me I would go all dolled up . But I am out with my friends and they would not mind.....much.

[Midnight Skye]

I totally agree Tonya... and ultimately its all sillyness. The world has an uptight vision of how men are supposed to dress and don't like it when that vision is bent. It frustrates me to no end. - fumes fire and brimstone -

But oh well... I still go out in my skirt plenty despite ;)

[kellycan27]

Simply put, because it's beyond your comfort level. The question might be better better asked as "Why can't I just allow myself to wear a skirt?":battingeyelashes:

Kel

[Jenny Wilson]

How is it impractical to bowl while wearing a dress or a skirt? It's not as if you're turning sommersaults.

I'd agree that you may want to forego the crinoline petticoats so that your skirt won't flare out to interfere with swinging your arm to launch the ball.

Jenny

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

I triple dog dare you

*makes chicken noises*

[VictoriaP]

Sweetie, I completely understand the feeling, BUT, as has been said, unless you want to come out...............I agree with Sherri52 about the womens jeans, I just bought my first pair
and I wore them out grocery shopping today, with pantyhose underneath and a nice silky camisole under my sweater and of course nobody noticed! it is like shaving legs, nobody notices that either!!
Good Luck whatever your choice!!

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I triple dog dare you

*makes chicken noises*

That's a breach of dare etiquette. First you "dare" then you "double dare" then you "double dog dare", then "triple dare" and then finally the coup de grace the "triple dog dare"

Veronica Rogers

[Nicole Erin]

Simply put, because it's beyond your comfort level. The question might be better better asked as "Why can't I just allow myself to wear a skirt?":battingeyelashes:

Kel
What Kelly is really saying is you cannot just wear a skirt cause in many parts it is too damned cold out! And THAT is where the discomfort comes in.

Just think - you are out in a skirt, and OK we will add shoes, even hose, but then no top, a girl's titties would be freezin'


Ummm, did I miss the point again? :o

[meri]

You can, no one will beat you up unless you go somewhere you probably wouldn't go even in pants!

I started wearing skirts a little over 2 years ago, get mixed reactions from people. Sometimes the look of shock and horror, however, mostly just ignored. When I wear skirts around people I know, I get questions. To my knowledge, I haven't lost any friends over my peculiar manner of dress. I simply explain to them that skirts work better than pants in certain conditions and they are more comfortable.

I wore won to a New Year's Eve party and a lady asked me why I was wearing a woman's skirt. I said I was not, that I bought this particular skirt, no woman ever owned it and I am not a woman!

I think skirt wearing as a guy is a way to start breaking the general public into the idea of men wearing woman's clothing in general. It may take decades to educate them, but it's a good start.

I can tell you this, I get a great deal of satisfaction out of wearing a skirt in public and/or among friends. It goes a long long way to scratching the itch "to dress".

It takes courage and confidence to wear a skirt in public, it's about the hardest thing I have ever done -- maybe that's why the payoff is so big? I suspect a lot of guys would like to be able to do it, but don't have the courage to pull it off. You can do it, just take tiny steps and work your way up...

[charlytuna]

:sad: Well, it's Sat. afternoon and a few of my buddies called and want me to go bowling with them. I've just been mulling about the house enfemme all day. I've got get dressed en drab so I can go, but all I seem to wanna do is put on another skirt! The pants don't look or feel right and I've dreaded slipping off my heels in exchange for some heavy boots. I wanna go ,but I'd rather wear my new LEI boots I got for Christmas and a short black sweater dress with a cute belt that TOTALLY matches my boots! I'm going crazy and really confused. Ok, maybe you can't help me right now, but maybe you have similar "episodes". Just wanted to vent to some who might understand. As always Hugs, Tonya:battingeyelashes:

I know how you feel. Lots of times on my day off I get dress just lounging the house and then one of the kids call they comming down and will be there in 10 min. then you have to rush to change and wash up and put everything away, then they come and only stay a few mins. after all the rushing to change only for a few min. gets to you after awile you would like to say the heck with them and be yourself

[kellycan27]

What Kelly is really saying is you cannot just wear a skirt cause in many parts it is too damned cold out! And THAT is where the discomfort comes in.

Just think - you are out in a skirt, and OK we will add shoes, even hose, but then no top, a girl's titties would be freezin'


Ummm, did I miss the point again? :o

Gosh Nicole... I am starting to think that maybe you have thing for me, like the little boy in school who pulls the little girls hair who's sitting in the desk in front of him. He hasn't developed the social stills to actually talk to her, so the next best thing is to try and annoy her. But rather than be annoyed, I am just going to agree that you may in fact be right, depending on where in the country that this person lives.:koc:

Your really good friend
Kelly

[Karan49]

The other day I walked by a Target store and I noticed a man who was wearing a plaid skirt into the store. He was obviously a man e.g. he was wearing masculine glasses,socks and shoes, coat and shirt as well as hairy legs. He looked awful in my opinion. Yet no one said anything as he walked in and around the store. Oh, people looked, but then went about their business. I looked for reactions from the people around him and I did follow him around the store for a bit as I was curious what people's reactions would be.

I recall years ago when I worked in a convience store and I was just starting full time as Karan that a cross dresser walked into the store, he was obvious and the other (teenage) gals in the store just acted naturally until he left and then giggled and gossiped about him until I said enough! Take pity on the poor thing, can't you imagine what this person must be going through. They just shut up and I had the chance to be a fly on the wall as they mistreated this person.

I learned a valuable lesson. You can go out and do much of anything you want to do and most people will not notice, or they will take notice and not care, or they figure it's none of there business as they have things they have to do. As long as you aren't being a pervert or trying to steal something, or trying to harm some one, you're okay. But don't kid yourself, you need to evaluate yourself or have a trusted someone evaluate if you really are passable.

Karan49

[JulieC]

Why can't I just wear a skirt?

This has happened to me too. In particular, it's when I'm preparing my business appropriate clothing. There's been times when I've run into problems with the clothing, little stains, missing button, item just too worn out, etc. I get frustrated going through my male wardrobe trying to find something to wear for the next day.

It's then that I think to myself, "I've got the perfect outfit, complete with hose and heels, etc. Why can't I wear that?" :Angry3:

[ReineD]

I wanna go ,but I'd rather wear my new LEI boots I got for Christmas and a short black sweater dress with a cute belt that TOTALLY matches my boots! I'm going crazy and really confused.
Maybe I should know better, but I don't so I'll ask. I hope I do not offend. Is it about wearing the clothes regardless of gender, or using the cute dress & boots to present femme? I mean, if you wore the outfit and went bowling with your friends, would you want to be your guy or your femme self to them?


I simply explain to them that skirts work better than pants in certain conditions and they are more comfortable.
...
I can tell you this, I get a great deal of satisfaction out of wearing a skirt in public and/or among friends. It goes a long long way to scratching the itch "to dress".
I agree it takes a great deal of courage to wear a skirt in public in guy mode. But I have a similar question for you. You mentioned scratching the itch to dress. Would you rather present fully femme and why is it you do not feel comfortable doing this, yet you are OK wearing a skirt in guy mode? Do you feel people will be more accepting of one over the other?



It's then that I think to myself, "I've got the perfect outfit, complete with hose and heels, etc. Why can't I wear that?" :Angry3:
Julie, I'll ask you the same question. Would you want to wear the clothes and still have your business associates treat you as your guy self?

------------------

I'm asking these questions because I was under the impression that for the most part, CDs wanted to protect their femme identity from their family, friends, and coworkers and the fear of having these people find out would make the desire to dress go away. I suppose this is not accurate? (I'm not speaking of TSs here. Obviously it is necessary for TSs to come out).

[Kerigirl2009]

We can wear anything that we want whenever we want, but we choose not to put ourselves out in the lime light for people to stare and make comments. Its not that we are afraid to dress they way we want. its that we don't want to ruin our male reputation if we are spotted wearing a skirt. At least this is how I think. I wish it was different and we could wear the clothes that make us happy, and just feel right.
Problem is what will we do after if we are recgonized by someone that knows us only as a man. And until we figure this question out, we will deny ourselves happiness in clothes. or until we just don;t care what others say.

[meri]

Maybe I should know better, but I don't so I'll ask. I hope I do not offend. Is it about wearing the clothes regardless of gender, or using the cute dress & boots to present femme? I mean, if you wore the outfit and went bowling with your friends, would you want to be your guy or your femme self to them?


I agree it takes a great deal of courage to wear a skirt in public in guy mode. But I have a similar question for you. You mentioned scratching the itch to dress. Would you rather present fully femme and why is it you do not feel comfortable doing this, yet you are OK wearing a skirt in guy mode? Do you feel people will be more accepting of one over the other?


Julie, I'll ask you the same question. Would you want to wear the clothes and still have your business associates treat you as your guy self?

------------------

I'm asking these questions because I was under the impression that for the most part, CDs wanted to protect their femme identity from their family, friends, and coworkers and the fear of having these people find out would make the desire to dress go away. I suppose this is not accurate? (I'm not speaking of TSs here. Obviously it is necessary for TSs to come out).

With respect to scratching the itch: I believe that a large part of the reason of wanting to present 100% femme is because of fear of acceptance of simply wearing a skirt as a guy, or as myself. I would like to be able to fearlessly wear certain items as myself and not have to dress 100% femme as a cover for doing so. At New Year's, I wore a tux coat, shirt and bowtie. Instead of black pants, I wore a colorful, full-length skirt. People we OK with it, this set my mind at ease. I noticed that my need to present as femme to the world was greatly reduced after that event. That's what I mean by scratching the itch.

I simply want to feel free to wear whatever, whenever I like and not be concerned about what people are thinking. I realize that I *have* the freedom to wear whatever I like and I do wear skirts in public. I am, however, uneasy doing so and they only way I know to extinguish my discomfort is to do it over and over again.

This is about the same kind of treatment someone who is afraid of heights would get.

I don't like being so timid and so afraid, but at least I have a plan and I am working on it.

Bottom line for me is that I like some of the same fashions that women wear, I don't know why, I just do. May as well ask me why my favorite color is blue (which it is).

[Emma England]

Just take a look at my signature below!

Until someone explains to me WHY I can't wear a skirt, then I will continue to do so (although not at the mo, as it's too cold).

[shorty82]

Just take a look at my signature below!

Until someone explains to me WHY I can't wear a skirt, then I will continue to do so (although not at the mo, as it's too cold).

I love the signature and agree 100% with it. I've worn skirts as a guy before with no problems. Actually, doing that is the closest to going out enfemme I've ever been.

[JulieC]

Julie, I'll ask you the same question. Would you want to wear the clothes and still have your business associates treat you as your guy self?

------------------

I'm asking these questions because I was under the impression that for the most part, CDs wanted to protect their femme identity from their family, friends, and coworkers and the fear of having these people find out would make the desire to dress go away. I suppose this is not accurate? (I'm not speaking of TSs here. Obviously it is necessary for TSs to come out).

Hmm. Fear of certain categories of people finding out definitely doesn't make the desire to dress go away. :) More to the point...

Speaking only for me, I don't view myself as having a homme and a femme identity, and the choice of presentation as either one or the other. Sometimes I dress in business attire normally associated with men. Sometimes I dress in business attire normally associated with women. Sometimes I'm in androgynous sweats, t-shirts, shoes. Sometimes I'm in frilly underwear. Sometimes I'm in just pantyhose and t-shirt. Sometimes I'm in various combinations of attire associated with both sexes. At all times, I am me.

It took a long time, but I've accepted me as me. I don't identify as being male. I don't identify as being female. I'm something in between. My inner self desires to express my outer self in ways appropriate to men and women. I don't have a significant problem with this (anymore, anyway).

Society DOES have a problem with it.

As a result, I have to present myself in ways that express the expected gender identity for the environment. This is especially true for work.

If I wore a business skirt suit, with heels and hose, I would want my business associates to continue to treat me as the professional I am. I do not want to be treated as a male business associate, and generally don't permit myself to be treated so if I find it happening. I do not want to be treated as a female business associate either. I want to be treated as a business associate. Period.

I would prefer to be able to dress this way, regardless of makeup/wig/forms. Makeup/wigs/forms make me feel like I am trying to be more female than I really am. It feels false to me.

If I were to dress in women's clothes, I'd expect I'd get a lecture at some point to the effect that I should fully present as a woman if I'm going to do that (if my work place didn't just fire me period). My answer would be "I'm fully presenting as me, just as I do when I wear traditionally male clothing".

Addendum:
And just to note; my employer has put several "gender neutral" bathrooms in place in various buildings. So it would seem safe, right? Well, I have several people in my life depending on the income I generate. If I were the only one that depended on my income, I'd probably attempt pushing the envelope. But, until I see multiple men freely wearing dresses and skirts at my employer (none do, and I'm positive there's at least a few crossdressers) with no negative consequences to their employment, I will not risk my income regardless of how forward thinking my employer appears to be.

[ReineD]

Keri, Meri, & Julie, thank you for responding. Your posts attest to the individuality of being transgendered. :hugs:

[jenna_woods]

I know what you mean, but bowling in a skirt not good unless you want everyone looking at you, try some women's tight jeans

[meri]

Jenna,
Actually, a knee length kilt works very well for any "on your feet" activities like bowling. I have worn my kilt ice-skating and it worked very well.

Julie,
I don't have an alternate personality either, the name was adopted because it's generally the custom on boards like this. I am myself at all times and simply want to wear some of the same things women do. I want to feel the same ease that GG's do when they wear clothing more generally associated with men. I have know GG's that can go from a rough and ready look in the morning to all dolled up and pretty in the evening.

Technically, we have that freedom, but it would turn some heads if we did so!

I think we have a lot in common with respect to our goals and wishes.

Try kilts if you haven't already tried them, there are a number of American kilts available and many are as light-weight as a skirt. Kilts provide you with a way to enjoy the freedom of a skirt without appearing at all femme. Besides, most women will actually compliment you if you wear one.