Maybe Today

[Rachel Lea]

First I need to tell someone, possibly so it Will happen today.

I very much desire to to tell my wife today, that I am a cross dresser!! I have a need to stop all of the hiding. I want to be free to get dressed in the morning putting on my pantyhose in my bedroom and going back and forth to the bathroom before putting on my "cover". I want panties and I want to have them go through the regular washing. I want to be free to purchase a clothing Item for me, Rachel, when I go shopping with my wife. "I would have loved a new dress for Christmas". I want my wife's input on what to buy and what to wear.

But, a big problem today, I have so much "man" work that I must get done today, that I hope to have time to talk to my wife about this in private. I am so tired of all of my "man work", I need a change.

Thanks for being there to hear my venting, its a lot of "I wants" at this moment.

For those of you who pray, please pray that things will go good and that I can tell my wife today.

[Shelly Preston]

Make sure you make enough time if you decide to tell her

This is something not to be rushed and she will need time to digest the news and answer questions


Good luck

p.s. read the link in my signature

[Terrihoney]

Do all your 'man' work with gusto. Someday there will be a good enough time. There's never a perfect time. Please don't start parading around in pantyhose right away. After the bomb drops, go as slow as possible, at her pace.

Good luck,
Hugs, Terri

PS nice legs

[Paula_56]

careful

[VS Fan]

Good luck with everything! There's lots of "how do I tell" threads on the forum, but my quick advice is to write it all down the way you want to tell her... it's so easy to get stuck on certain parts of the conversation and you might forget to answer some of the obvious questions (are you gay, do you want SRS etc?) I wrote it all down and used the letter as the conversation starter so that I could get it ALL out at once and not miss anything... (just say "hey, I wanted to share something with you, but it's a little awkward and hard to get all my thoughts out easily so I wrote it down... but don't worry, it's not bad, just read and you'll understand.") then that opened up the conversation. The other ladies on here can chime in success or failures with this approach, but it also gave my wife a reference for the next couple of days so she could re-read it etc... (Although I *did* ask her to shred the letter when she didn't need it anymore ;) )

Oh... And don't expect a great reaction at first even if she ends up being supportive later. It will probably take some time for her to wrap her head around this unless she has some clues already. My wife knew I wore tights and liked satin sheets etc, so it was a shock, but when she connected the dots, it kind of made sense. And definitely express willingness to go at her pace... you're bringing the change to the status quo, so give her time to adjust!

Good luck!

VS Fan

[Rachel Lea]

Thanks for the replies so far. I hope to have some significant time for this today I know she will have questions and I believe I know my answers. I have been working up to this for almost a year now after making a specific decision to tell her. It just seems that there is never a perfect time. I may just have to make it happen.

I have pictured myself parading myself around the house in pantyhose (I chuckled at my imagination of this), but I could not at this time do to the kids in the house.

Shelly, I have looked at the link you have include and it has been helpfull in my understanding of how to do this.

A big thing that is driving this is that if I ever get "caught" it won't go good from the perspective that she does not like lies. It will be much better if I confess to her.

[Karren H]

In my humble opinion, if she doesn't like lies then your already toast! Though not telling someone something they didn't ask isn't technically a lie... It will be in her eyes... Make sure you really want to go down that path... Many many many poorer than expected results.. Good luck!

[Charlena]

Good luck Rachel, In my case when I told my wife it worked out very well, if she is accepting then go at her pace as so many have said. It took me a year or so but now I can "parade" around the house in pantyhose or tights. Might even get a playful swat on the backside. Hope it works out for both of you.

P.S. It wound up my wife knew (or suspected) more than I thought she did. Good thoughts to you both.

[natasha_laure]

Telling my wife (to be) was probably the hardest thing I ever did. I though my heart was going to jump out of my chest it was beating so fast. But I had to do it and things have been great between us since ..... mainly because we tried hard to communicate and she tried very hard to understand.

I really hope it goes well for you.... as it eventually did for me. Will be wishing you both good vibes all day.

[Jenny Beth]

Just my 2 cents but make sure you have answers to all the questions she's likely to ask if she asks at all but be prepared for what could happen. This isn't something she's going to be comfortable with and it's going to take a lot of time for her to decide where she goes from here on in. Good luck though.

[leslie ann]

well you didnt say how long youve been married ?? which makes alot of difference. say its been many years of marrige then karen is right (karen your so smart ) your allready busted ! so you might be better off saying something like i love the way your panties feel i want some like that 4 me 2 ! then you can judge her reation as to how she might feel about you wearn panties and such; and know where you stand alittle beter. remember you cant take back what you say! lol i think ive told every g/f ive had since high school (27trs ago) and only 1 stands out as to of had a real problem with it! good luck! and dont make a big deal of it and hopefully it wont be !

[Rachel Lea]

Hi, Leslie ann

We have been married 27 years.
I did were pantyhose in front of here once about 24 years ago with very little real reaction, and I don't know if she remembers the time.
Also, about 7 years ago I ordered some Leggs pantyhose and she got them out of the mail box. She asked me if I had a fetish but it was in close range of my oldest boy and I said no (what a fool I was). I told her that I ordered them because I have a bad habit of picking my toes nails, which she hates the noise, and that I could not pick my toe nails if I wear pantyhose. She said to return them. I only return 1/2 of the order because they did not fit.
With some of these items and the small hints I have given within the past year, I am suprise she has not asked me any questions.

I appreciate the thoughts and comments.

[theresa]

Rachel,

I think you have a lot of great advice that has already been offered to you from others here. The only thing I can add is that I believe you are definately doing the right thing to open up to your wife. The timing is so very important and critical. I suggest you find a time when you and your wife are able to share a quiet moment, without interruptions or other stresses, where you can share your inner thoughts with each other. Those moments are so rare in today's hectic lifestyles, and you can't drop your lifestyle "bomb" on her without the right environment and plenty of time to talk. It's going to take several evenings of talk, so make sure that you don't have other pressing things that your wife is stressing over, otherwise, you'll just make things more difficult.

I wish it was easier, but it isnt. But whatever you do, make sure you talk with her about this. I applaud you for making the right decision here.

[Rachel Lea]

Hello Girls,
Well I have not told her yet, like Theresa said, you need some quite time and that has not happened yet. But I have given more thought to the situation and I was wondering what your thoughts are to this senerio.
I would tell my wife that "I have a problem and that I need help" and this is true in many peoples eyes. We can then start working on it together.

But we all know we can not stop.

[BLUE ORCHID]

27yrs. thats a long time. Make sure you have a lot of answers ready
and make sure you will have a lot of free time together because she will have
a lot of questions GOOD LUCK and keep us advised.

Orchid

[tinalynn]

Telling her you have a problem is okay - if you have a problem. But I have money that says you don't consider your cross-dressing to be a problem. You said yourself that she doesn't like lies, and here you are coming up with a lie. Not smart. That statement alone tells me that you don't think she's ready or that you can talk her into it.

Do yourself a favor and think this over some more before you bring it up. You need to tell her - but honesty is ALWAYS the best answer. When you're honest you don't ever have to remember which lie you told to cover whatever incident (something that she'll remember).

One other thing - the reaction one gets is rarely the reaction one expects. Its like a fantasy, we see the end result we want to see while fantasizing. Realty is normally different...