Is passing the holy grail of Cding or no.

[Christina Horton]

For me no. I understand if you want to be 100% passable , but for me I just love to be myself going out and having fun. As you can see I don't pass , yes the avatar pic is good but my other ones are not as good. I think I pass maybe 60% of the time and some say , "I never would have guessed you were a guy," Others say they read me right away. So for me it the "just getting out there and being the girl I am deep down and being free. Would if I had a magic wand wave it and make me 100% passable and or be 100% a women when I wanted, Then Yes I would. Since that won't happen I could care less if I pass fully , I just care if I make myself look nice and as good as I can , Cuz I love to look pretty and feel girly. But that's me, You all have a good 2010 and remember the great philosophical words (" Girls just wanna have fun a unnn.")

[kellycan27]

Great attitude, and if it works for you I would say that you have arrived! I am glad that you didn't add that pasing is over rated because it's really not :heehee:

Kelly

[Loni]

I would love to "pass"

but it aint going to happen.

so if I can just blend in and be accepted as I am, that would be great.

.

[Sophie_C]

For me no. I understand if you want to be 100% passable , but for me I just love to be myself going out and having fun. As you can see I don't pass , yes the avatar pic is good but my other ones are not as good. I think I pass maybe 60% of the time and some say , "I never would have guessed you were a guy," Others say they read me right away. So for me it the "just getting out there and being the girl I am deep down and being free. Would if I had a magic wand wave it and make me 100% passable and or be 100% a women when I wanted, Then Yes I would. Since that won't happen I could care less if I pass fully , I just care if I make myself look nice and as good as I can , Cuz I love to look pretty and feel girly. But that's me, You all have a good 2010 and remember the great philosophical words (" Girls just wanna have fun a unnn.")

I agree, that is a fantastic perspective on things. Personally, I haven't seen a girl who truly passed without transitioning (HRT and possibly surgery), so it is really is the healthiest approach to accept yourself as you are. Nothing's wrong with not passing, since you're still being true to yourself.

[Phyliss]

Me, pass? HAH !!!

Just simple acceptance without the litany of THOSE QUESTIONS No staring or rude comments, at least when I can hear them. Please treat me as another human and I'm happy. If I happen to be dressed especially nice and somebody doesn't notice me as I blend in, then that's just fine with me. If a rare thing like "passing" comes about then it's a perfect day for me.

Even if I took the "meds and surgery" road all the way to the end. I'd still never BE a woman. Somehow, I , at this time, am not willing to take that trip.

[Jonianne]

For me, the holy grail is two parts, one, to completly love and accept yourself and two, to be loved and accepted by those who know you, who also know you like to dress enfemme sometimes.

[noeleena]

Hi..
As said the biggest detail is accept your self for who you are . & then let others see you & they too will accept you . its not the looks that most people are concerned about its about you as a person . who is willing to be a part of them . & be true in what you do & say . dont try & act or put on a show . just be real . the pic of me is what you see . now of cause with out hair . i just wear a headwear or scarve & that works for me . & i m known by that now .

...noeleena...

[Bethany38]

Passing? Huh! What the heck is that? I know I'll never be able to but I can always dream:)...

[msginaadoll]

Im sure as CD's most of us would like to pass. I did say most, cause was told never to say all. But as I like to say- how the heck do you know if you pass or not. I mean if you obviously dont pass and the villagers come after you with a pitchfork, you wind up on Jerry Springer or the cover of the Weekly World News then maybe. Otherwise if you go about your business, people treat you with respect, you get called maam more times than not- only one sir so far. Then is that passing or is it people just not hassling you or is it a mass case of serial blindness, or is it an amzing thing where people just treat you with respect and as a human being. Im still trying to decide. Im sure passing is not overrated, and can say just being able to get out without harrassment and being treated well isnt either.

[Tina L.]

Only in my dreams do i pass.

[JulieK1980]

I'd settle for just not drawing attention to myself lol! I can't pass very well, but sometimes I can blend and not be noticed very much.....

[Nicola2876]

My life would've turned out so differently if I 100% passed. I would love to live as a woman all the time but I haven't the confidence to go out. I used to but that was in my youth.

[Kate Simmons]

As you say, it depends on the individual person really. Some folks need it as an essential part of self definition. Others have a matter of fact outlook because they are just being themselves. Still others have a take it or leave it attitude. What is necessary for some is not necessary for everyone and one "size" never fits all for sure.:)

[Miranda09]

True, passing is not all that important for many, but for me, it is a goal I try to accomplish, if for nothing more thant the challenge and fun of seeing if I can do it. :)

[cordgrass]

I admire the courage of the girls who go out who don't pass. :star:

[Karren H]

The quest continues...... Personally. Dressing like and woman and passing is nothing compared to getting past the Knights of Ni especially if you don't have Shrubbery in your purse!! And then the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! "What's the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?".

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Christina - Great question!

To me, when I think about saying or asking if "something is the Holy Grail of something" (as opposed to referring to the actual cup itself supposedly used by Jesus at the Last Supper) to me, it refers to trying to get something or somewhere that is impossible or unattainable (like apparently finding the Holy Grail Cup itself is supposed to be).

So applying my (weak) hypothesis, then when I think about your question I'm really asking myself if passing is so difficult for a Cder it's nye on impossible or virtually unobtainable, and if that's the question I would say "yes" ... for most of us. I'm talking about "truly passing" here, where the person totally believes that you are a genetic woman and that you have always been that way. It's not completely unattainable, but IMHO most people don't achieve it, or if they do, it doesn't happen all the time.

However, when you answered "no" to your own question I guess you were thinking more about trying to achieve the Holy Grail, i.e. trying to achieve the seemingly impossible (true passing) and if that's the case than I'm with you, as a "no" would be my answer too because I'm not on a quest to achieve the impossible. I just do the best I can and hope it's enough. :)

[Jenny Beth]

Nope, for me passing was never the holy grail but getting out was. Like most of us here I never really passed anyway and passing was just a word for "not being noticed".

[Kate Simmons]

Personally. Dressing like and woman and passing is nothing compared to getting past the Knights of Ni especially if you don't have Shrubbery in your purse!! And then the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! "What's the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?".Karren you're scaring me Hon. You are starting to sound like me, and I had such high hopes for you too.:heehee:

[carolinoakland]

and then one day you realize that you are you, and that's all. Carol

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

I would love to "pass"

but it aint going to happen.

so if I can just blend in and be accepted as I am, that would be great.

.

THIS.

Yeah, passing would be the "holy grail" for me. But heh, yeah, it just isn't going to happen. At least, not without some extensive work on my voice, a cure for asthma so that my voice doesn't get shredded by coughing, laser hair removal on my face, and a LOT of smoothing this face o' mine out. :P

EDIT: Haha, just posted this and then realized how ironic it is that I talk about smoothing out my face, and my avatar (the only image you know of "me") has like the smoothest face on the planet. So maybe I'll just...yeah. Here goes. Here's me. Drab-tacular.

[Christina Horton]

THIS.

Yeah, passing would be the "holy grail" for me. But heh, yeah, it just isn't going to happen. At least, not without some extensive work on my voice, a cure for asthma so that my voice doesn't get shredded by coughing, laser hair removal on my face, and a LOT of smoothing this face o' mine out. :P

EDIT: Haha, just posted this and then realized how ironic it is that I talk about smoothing out my face, and my avatar (the only image you know of "me") has like the smoothest face on the planet. So maybe I'll just...yeah. Here goes. Here's me. Drab-tacular.

So the girl in the avatar is NOT you eh. Well if not you should put one of yours one....and if it is you then I would say you do pass 100%. But I would say the girl in the pic is a GG so there ya go.

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

Yeah, it's not me. It's what I WISH I looked like. :P And yeah, she's definitely a GG.

[Christina Horton]

Well I must say your drab pic is of a good looking guy woh would make a pretty women. Have you tried to be fully dolled out?

[Sally2005]

No, but it is a goal and it sure helps if you can do it. The more important thing is to figure out some way to accept your feelings and integrate it in to your life.

[Nicole Erin]

Passing is the holy grail? Honestly, I am not sure that it is.
I would rather have acceptance. And that I get from people who know me, well, most who know. I go to beauty school and I am just me. They know I am TG but my gender never comes up. I am just me, they don't care what I look like. I would rather have that than having to conceal my true identity.

OK I just can't say it, Christina, with the white wig I was going to make a joke about being someone's grandmother, I just can't :heehee:

(It's OK folks, Christina and I bust each other's chops now and then)


I don't mind passing or not, but prefer to pass if possible. Reason being, to avoid hostility and snide remarks

No matter who you are or what you look like, there will always be someone with something to say. The only reason we TG gtet bothered by it is cause it hits a soft spot.

[Karren H]

Well I must say your drab pic is of a good looking guy

Ohhh get a room, Christina!! You two want to be left alone? Hahaha.

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

Well I must say your drab pic is of a good looking guy woh would make a pretty women. Have you tried to be fully dolled out?

Yeah... I got sincere compliments on my legs, but other than that I hardly passed at all. Granted the wig was terrible and was bought at the last minute, so that could have been better...but other than that... My facial hair grows kinda fast so that's an obstacle too (my boss asked me why I didn't shave my face despite dressing up...I told her I DID!).

OK maybe I'll go back into my private messages and talk to that person who had PM'd me about meeting up. Maybe she can help me learn to pass. Just afraid I'll blow my cover the moment I cough, though...which with asthma, is about every 10 seconds.

This concludes Bailey's hijacking of this thread... We now resume normal conversation.

[Christina Horton]

OK I just can't say it, Christina, with the white wig I was going to make a joke about being some one's grandmother, I just can't :heehee:

(It's OK folks, Christina and I bust each other's chops now and then)



Yes it just fine hun(a very soft "sob" is heard in the back ground) My girl friend Roberta(form this site) said when I tried it on for the first time in the store said " You look like a grandma for Qualicum bay BC (it's a place on Vancouver Island where we grew up on. But My mom Love's it and says it suits me perfectly , so there :tongueout :tongueout :hugs:



Ohhh get a room, Christina!! You two want to be left alone? Hahaha.


What Jealous eh.

[lissetta]

My fondest wish perhaps is to regain my youth circa 1973 south beach miami blond hair to the middle of my back strolling down the blvd. natural passing that fleeting moment just once more! :daydreaming:

[Nicole Erin]

Hey Christina, with your unshakable confidence, I think whether you pass or not is not an issue. I doubt anyone could bring you down :)


Kind of wish I had the same confidence.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

When I hear the words pass and passing, I reach for my reply button. It's a trap! Instead of concentrating on that, focus instead on improving your presentation skills and not worrying about if you pass or if you don't.

Sure I'd love to be one of those lucky young women who started hormones at 16 with their parents blessing and who look all that, but it aint gonna happen. You have to work with what you got.

Veronica Rogers

[Princess Chantal]

How could it be the Holy Grail, when it could be so easily attainable here in Winnipeg by just bundling up in feminine outerwear for the freezing cold weather.

[kellycan27]

I don't know it passing is the Holy Grail, but if you can really pull it off it can be quite a nice experience. Doors open up that are usually reserved for gg's.

Ok Nicole.... Take your best shot I am ready! :heehee:

Kelly

[Kaitlyn Michele]

When I hear the words pass and passing, I reach for my reply button. It's a trap! Instead of concentrating on that, focus instead on improving your presentation skills and not worrying about if you pass or if you don't.

Sure I'd love to be one of those lucky young women who started hormones at 16 with their parents blessing and who look all that, but it aint gonna happen. You have to work with what you got.

Veronica Rogers

This is so totally true. We have no choice other to work with what we have.
If you just can't pass, and you want to go out and enjoy yourself, then you really have no logical choice other than not to care. Some girls not only don't care, but they REALLY don't care and dress in all kinds of crazy outfits and have a blast..what a wonderful way to be.

However, there is a big clliche that says don't knock it till you try it.

Going out everyday and experiencing all of the above in this thread...not passing, not knowing, and passing I've found that passing is not overrated in any way. I don't know whether someone that considers themselves male and loves their female side would feel the same way but for me, I never ever ever want to be considered as a man again...the feeling of passing as a woman and being considered as a woman by people is a meaning of life kind of good feeling.....

I continue to work on the not caring part, but I have to admit that if I'm honest, then I have to say I care.

[Emma Leigh]

I say no, but maybe thats cos I doubt if I could.

[SuzanneBender]

The quest continues...... Personally. Dressing like and woman and passing is nothing compared to getting past the Knights of Ni especially if you don't have Shrubbery in your purse!! And then the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! "What's the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?".

Don't forget about getting past those French with such an outrageous accent!

I think the holy grail is being yourself. All else is icing on the cake.

Christina I love the white wig. Only you could pull it off. Mature and sexy. Girl you rock!

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

Nice Monty Python & The Holy Grail reference. :) Heh... I played "Patsy" in a Monty Python & The Holy Grail thing on a live stage. Patsy being the one with the coconuts following behind King Arthur.

[Nicole Erin]

I don't know it passing is the Holy Grail, but if you can really pull it off it can be quite a nice experience. Doors open up that are usually reserved for gg's.

Ok Nicole.... Take your best shot I am ready! :heehee:

Kelly

Well first - I imagine Christina to be one of those liberated women who would get offended if some guy held open doors and things.

Ehh, no good shot for anything, but when I go out dressed I am one of the "fool some people sometimes" level. The crap thing is when a guy wants to make a lewd comment like "oh wow I would really love to get between those legs, they are nice".

(looks at all the jeans and slacks in closet and remembers why there are few skirts)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Don't forget about getting past those French with such an outrageous accent!

I think the holy grail is being yourself. All else is icing on the cake.

Christina I love the white wig. Only you could pull it off. Mature and sexy. Girl you rock!

I smell elderberries

[Christina Horton]

Well first - I imagine Christina to be one of those liberated women who would get offended if some guy held open doors and things.


Me Oh HELL NO. You don't know me are all hun :cry: I'll hold the door for women all the time in drab and LOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE it when men hold the door for me when in drab. :daydreaming::daydreaming::daydreaming: :D

Hay when I am out dressed I want to be treated like a princess and not lift a finger to do anything. Like I've said before "Christina does not sweat"! Now I will be looking for a Limo job soon , Dressed of course and I will make sure if I get the job that there is no real hard work other then loading suit cases and such. Other then that she does not work up a sweat or sweat unless it's really hot out. Then all bets are off LOL.

[kellycan27]

Ehh, no good shot for anything, but when I go out dressed I am one of the "fool some people sometimes" level. The crap thing is when a guy wants to make a lewd comment like "oh wow I would really love to get between those legs, they are nice".

(looks at all the jeans and slacks in closet and remembers why there are few skirts)

Come on Nicole, just practice your snappy come backs. I was at a club one night and this guy said... I sure would like to get into your pants.. I just smiled politely and said.....Sorry there's already one a**h*** in there. Stopped him dead in his tracks! The ensuing laughter was at his expense.not mine.

[Christina Horton]

Come on Nicole, just practice your snappy come backs. I was at a club one night and this guy said... I sure would like to get into your pants.. I just smiled politely and said.....Sorry there's already one a**h*** in there. Stopped him dead in his tracks! The ensuing laughter was at his expense.not mine.


I think a good comeback would be Him "oh wow I would really love to get between those legs, they are nice". You " ok sure but may I ask you something" Him "sure" You " Do you spit or swallow" . I think that might make him think twice . Unless he's into tha then I don't know.

[CharleneM]

True, passing is not all that important for many, but for me, it is a goal I try to accomplish, if for nothing more thant the challenge and fun of seeing if I can do it. :)

I know for most, passing is not all that important, but I agree with Miranda, the first time I went out, I was scared to death, but after that, it was good to go!

I went to work, as Charlene(not all the time), and went into the city with my boss for dinner, and to after hour clubs! He was fascinated by the transgender/ transsexual community.

My wife, and his was very understanding, and his wife would compliment the way I looked!

I guess I'm lucky, that I'm girly(it is what I feel all the time)but it is a challenge and fun of seeing if I can do it.

I've slowed down, because I don't want to lose my wife, she is my best friend, and puts up with me.

But I have to say we are more like girlfriends now!

[CharleneM]

Ohhh get a room, Christina!! You two want to be left alone? Hahaha.

Karren,

Great new avatar!

You look great!

[suchacutie]

Friom the beginning four years ago my goal has been to understand who Tina is so that she can be comfortable with herself. That said, the "comfortable with herself" benchmarks have risen sharply over this time. First it was just walking in heels, then clothes (how the fit, what styles are best, etc), breasts (how big), hair (color, style, material), fingernails, and finally all facets of makeup.

But then that wasn't good enough because I learned that attitudes and styles are just different. It was so hard for me to get over needing to "solve" every problem that arose instead of just talking about it. My wife chuckled at me for a while every time Tina fell into that "guy" trap. That led to other "gender-related" attitudes until one day she started expecting Tina to have different attitudes on topics which her husband had expressed an attitude already.

Then the voice issue showed up.

It seems that learning who Tina is has a next level once the current level is identified and absorbed. Is there ever an end? Going out is just a part of this process, and not the end of the process. I'm not sure there'll ever be an end at this rate! I look at going out as simply practicing the art!

tina

[Christina Horton]

Karren,

Great new avatar!

You look great!


Na that an older pic she has had that on there before. Cute eh.

[kellycan27]

I think a good comeback would be Him "oh wow I would really love to get between those legs, they are nice". You " ok sure but may I ask you something" Him "sure" You " Do you spit or swallow" . I think that might make him think twice . Unless he's into tha then I don't know.

I try and act somewhat lady like....:heehee:

[CharleneM]

I'm talking about Karren Hutton, in the pink ball cap!

[windycissy]

I'm late to the party, but my answer is: yes

[docrobbysherry]

I couldn't pass in a dark cave at midnite at the North Pole! Never have, never will! And it's driving me crazy! Can't eat,
(burp). Can't sleep, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[Christina Horton]

I'm talking about Karren Hutton, in the pink ball cap!

Ya so am I. She's had that one for a long while. Go look in her profile pics and see when she posted it. She has had other girls comment on it in other threads lol.