5150 Girl
01-04-2010, 03:08 PM
I often wondered why God made me a TG person, placed me in an aria where rusted pickups with gun racks and Confederate flags are common place. I’ve spent my life hiding in fear of “Bubba” and his beer swilling kind. I’ve felt out of place, afraid to speak of my little secret to anyone, even my unsupportive SO, while she knew I even felt I had to hide from her.
Why God? What was your reason, your plan, for putting a someone such as myself in an place where the movie “Deliverance” could have been filmed. (BTW, I can play Dulling Banjoes on my guitar)
Then to make things seem worse, I lost my job and the oppressive b***h I had for an SO left me. That’s when I met my cuddly Polar Bear. I told her about my dressing almost the first time we met. She said she was cool with it, but as she was moving in with me, I found out just how cool she really was. One day I thought she was going to be gone all day at her brother’s house, taking care of him with his heart condition. I decided to have some girl time in her absence… Well, turns out she wasn’t needed and came home early! Busted! Or so I thought… I told her I wasn’t expecting her home so early and that I’d go change if she wanted. She said yes, you nee to change, that outfit is not working for you! Go to my car and bring the stuff in out of the back seat. It was dresses, skirts and shoes! She made me try stuff on until she found the best outfit of the lot.
After this, I felt prettier than I had felt in a long time. I mentioned to her how I wished I could go out to dinner and what not like this, but I was kind of afraid. She told me I passed well enough, and to get in the car. As the evening went on, I slowly realized that I wasn’t getting read, or if I was, nobody really cared. A few more outings revealed to me that despite living in a redneck purgatory, that if I was getting read, the worst that was likely to happen is a little pointing and whispering. This is when I began to think that maybe his plan for me is to show people that people like us are just regular every day folks. There is nothing to be afraid of. Jesus commanded us to “Love thy neighbor as thy self” and I think that when people have good encounters with others outside their comfort zone, it serves to further that message.
In the thread started by Billijo49504 titled “Am I that much different” Danielle’s post quoting me, kind of drives the point home as to what I’ve always felt like I was up against. But some the responses I got to my thread “Unexpected Day” also makes me think that there is still more to His plan. I now believe that He also wants me to show all us T-girls that if I can live in a region where a lot family trees do not fork, that you will do ok wherever you are.
Why God? What was your reason, your plan, for putting a someone such as myself in an place where the movie “Deliverance” could have been filmed. (BTW, I can play Dulling Banjoes on my guitar)
Then to make things seem worse, I lost my job and the oppressive b***h I had for an SO left me. That’s when I met my cuddly Polar Bear. I told her about my dressing almost the first time we met. She said she was cool with it, but as she was moving in with me, I found out just how cool she really was. One day I thought she was going to be gone all day at her brother’s house, taking care of him with his heart condition. I decided to have some girl time in her absence… Well, turns out she wasn’t needed and came home early! Busted! Or so I thought… I told her I wasn’t expecting her home so early and that I’d go change if she wanted. She said yes, you nee to change, that outfit is not working for you! Go to my car and bring the stuff in out of the back seat. It was dresses, skirts and shoes! She made me try stuff on until she found the best outfit of the lot.
After this, I felt prettier than I had felt in a long time. I mentioned to her how I wished I could go out to dinner and what not like this, but I was kind of afraid. She told me I passed well enough, and to get in the car. As the evening went on, I slowly realized that I wasn’t getting read, or if I was, nobody really cared. A few more outings revealed to me that despite living in a redneck purgatory, that if I was getting read, the worst that was likely to happen is a little pointing and whispering. This is when I began to think that maybe his plan for me is to show people that people like us are just regular every day folks. There is nothing to be afraid of. Jesus commanded us to “Love thy neighbor as thy self” and I think that when people have good encounters with others outside their comfort zone, it serves to further that message.
In the thread started by Billijo49504 titled “Am I that much different” Danielle’s post quoting me, kind of drives the point home as to what I’ve always felt like I was up against. But some the responses I got to my thread “Unexpected Day” also makes me think that there is still more to His plan. I now believe that He also wants me to show all us T-girls that if I can live in a region where a lot family trees do not fork, that you will do ok wherever you are.