Starting over.....Again

[April Renee]

Hey all, I hope everyone is having a good new year so far. I have been doing some thread searching and reading some older posts but I haven't found much on coming out again to our SO. Short back ground; two years in to marriage wife found items she knew wasn't hers, told her my secret. Anger,confusion,therapy,separation,reconciliation, outta site outta mind all followed. Eight years later she knows I still wear "those clothes" doesn't like/accept my "security blanket" as she has said in the past. Through my time on this site I have come to accept myself and even like myself...I hated myself for so long I felt like I'd lost both identities. I have gained much more here than what I paid for during therapy. Now that I'm feeling stronger about myself I'd like to open back up to my wife but I'm just not sure how/where to start over again. If any one has any advice that would be great!
.
Thanks
April

[leslie ann]

yea YA DONT after readn what ya just said aaaaa i wouldnt :2c:

[Karren H]

I'd just ask her out right... And get it over with... Maybe you can come to an understanding and set some limits but it sounds like she in not a big fan... As isn't my wife... And there's a good chance she may never be.. So given that... The ball would be back in your coart to either continue to do it out os site out of mind or push it till she leaves... Not a rosie picture.. In my humble opinion

[Denise Somers]

April Renee,

Life is too short to always be "changing" to fit someone else's mold. Remember that true love is UNCONDITIONAL--this may be life's toughest task-to find that person who will offer you that unconditional love--and life's greatest reward when you do find it. Your love of women's clothes and ways will not go away-not ever-so the world had better accept you "as is". All the best of luck and understanding to you!!

Denise SOmers

[Sally2005]

Very similar boat as far as feeling good and accepting yourself and having an SO that you are not convinced would also be accepting. I don't have an answer except, for myself although I would like to include her more than I do, I am very comfortable with keeping most of the CDing to myself with the understanding that if she asks I will tell, but I don't plan to bore her with all the details in realtime... I think we naturally seek to solve relationship issues, but sometimes it is better to say nothing.

[msniki48]

Hey all, I hope everyone is having a good new year so far. I have been doing some thread searching and reading some older posts but I haven't found much on coming out again to our SO. Short back ground; two years in to marriage wife found items she knew wasn't hers, told her my secret. Anger,confusion,therapy,separation,reconciliation, outta site outta mind all followed. Eight years later she knows I still wear "those clothes" doesn't like/accept my "security blanket" as she has said in the past. Through my time on this site I have come to accept myself and even like myself...I hated myself for so long I felt like I'd lost both identities. I have gained much more here than what I paid for during therapy. Now that I'm feeling stronger about myself I'd like to open back up to my wife but I'm just not sure how/where to start over again. If any one has any advice that would be great!
.
Thanks
April


April, check out helen boyd's book
http://www.helenboydbooks.com/ i believe it is about an SO's perspective.

good luck hun


msniki48

[minalost]

There are a lot of web sites and information out there directed specifically toward the spouses of crossdressers. I must say that checking out these sites has really helped my wife gain a better understanding of my crossdressing needs.

Good luck :hugs:!

[April Renee]

QUOTE=Sally2005. I don't have an answer except, for myself although I would like to include her more than I do, ... I think we naturally seek to solve relationship issues, but sometimes it is better to say nothing.
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I think most of all I do feel like that I isolate myself and stay away to avoid having a discussion that she doesn't want to have....make sense? And as far as the divorce issue, that was raised in the beginning and she even had papers ready to go, but she is the one that changed her mind and wanted to reconcile so I know that the love is still here. I just feel like the issue still hasn't been fully resolved. Thanks for your replies all!
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April