People and their intolerance... >_<

[Kickin' Crosser]

Went to the Salvation Army today (killed two birds w/ 1 stone today - satisfied my enjoyment of CDing, AND my interest in rail travel) Found a lovely pink J Crew down jacket - puffy, outer and inner material very soft and comfortable, hooded (and closes up very securely when up), lightweight, fits perfectly, and in excellent shape too. THAT'S not why I am making this post.

So I go in, immediately head for the woman's clothing section because - being in the dead of winter - the selection of outerwear ought to be good. Indeed, it was quite good for the most part. I made several passes through men's, woman's, and even the kid's clothes section since things are often out of place at this store (found my jacket in the little kid's section of all places 0_0 ), and I want to make sure before purchasing anything that I have exhausted every place to look first... that made even more difficult with my ADD. :devil:

Now, before I continue, the place is dead on Mondays. Bottom floor [furniture, videos, books] about 7 people, 2nd floor [Women's clothes] 3 or 4 at most, same with 4th floor [Men's and Kid's clothing].

So I'm making my 2nd pass through the section with the woman's outerwear, this woman in a knit hat asks me, "Are you here alone?" to which I response "yeah..." and keep on moving without another word all while wondering what business of hers it was in the first place.

Later I'm up on the 2nd floor of the place passing through the kid's clothes since I noticed they placed some women's jackets there by mistake. We pass again, she obviously has seen me examining the clothes in the woman's clothing section - though at no point does she know WHY I am there. She walks up to me and says "You need psychiatric help," then walks away.

She turned her back, walked away... I was so pissed off... I wanted to say something in retort, but no words came out. Good thing too though since I'm sure those words would be somewhat vulgar - moreso than merely saying "piss off" Gordon Ramsay style and walking away. I said nothing, though when her back was turned, I wanted to flip her off, but good taste prevailed.

I walked past the guy working there, whom I run into frequently when I go there, and inquired, "What the hell is her problem?". Especially my question since men seem to frequently walk around those sections of clothes, whether for themselves or others I don't know (or care, really, it is the business of themselves).

To which he responded, "Don't know, and don't care. Best not to worry about it." Though it is hard not to, which was understandable (and he seemd to understand too).

Some people just suck.

[KerryLynn]

It sucks that in an age where anyone can be anything people still have their heads up their collective bums. Next time look at her smile sweetly and say Ma'am I have it Can i give you her number lmao. This is just my oppinion. ((did it once shut the person up qwick))

[Kickin' Crosser]

It sucks that in an age where anyone can be anything people still have their heads up their collective bums. Next time look at her smile sweetly and say Ma'am I have it Can i give you her number lmao. This is just my oppinion. ((did it once shut the person up qwick))

I was going to say something like that only add that this was a healthy exercise she recommended I do or something like that. Talk about a way to leave them dumbfounded.

[Jill]

Oh that's terrible! I'm sorry but I can't help but to laugh a little bit at this lady. The fact that she follows people around stores, watching what they do, scrutinizing them and telling them to seek counseling is a riot. It would be hard not to feel angry at her but I'd much rather be a CDer then a nosy, judgmental old bag that finds gratification in bringing other people down. By not firing back at her and not lowering yourself to her level, you were definitely the bigger woman.

[Nicole Erin]

Awesome on the good find for the jacket. Nice when you find a jewel for cheap. :thumbsup:

Now with the woman, based on the cashier's response, he has probably had problems with her and knew all too well what a bitch she is.

See, people like that don't just randomly pick someone to aggrivate, they tend to act that way with most people and everywhere they go.

Yes it is a pain to deal with them but don't think you were picked out of many for her to act stupid with. I would imagine that was probably not even the first time that very day she had pissed someone off.

What THAT lady needs is a life. I hope she finds one soon.

OH and everything Jill said too :D

[carolinoakland]

I got yelled at by some guys driving by one night, and then I got over it, did I really care what a chicken s@#$ driving 50 mph at 3am yells at me? I remind myself, it's their problem, and I'm not THEIR therapist or parole officer. Carol

[SuzanneBender]

OMG I love stupid people like this lady. They provide such opportunity for a natural smart ass like myself. Life would be so boring without them.

Just think, if it were not for people like this going out en femme would be totally hum drum boring with no excitement.

We should embrace ignorant intolerant people such as this lady. Embracing them makes it easier to control them right before you toss them off a high bridge.

I am sure that this lady has bred with another single cell ignoramus and has propagated their kind. This will insure entertainment and numerous posts on this site from future generations of our transgendered sisters and brothers.

[Kickin' Crosser]

Oh that's terrible! I'm sorry but I can't help but to laugh a little bit at this lady. The fact that she follows people around stores, watching what they do, scrutinizing them and telling them to seek counseling is a riot. .

Ironic, isn't it?

Though I didn't say anything to her face, when I get around to standup comedy again - for the first time since high school - I'll use this incident for some grade A material.:D

[Teri Jean]

Awhile back I and a sister-in-law went shopping a thrift store I like and I had found a sundress I liked so I hung it over my arm and proceeded to shop. After an hour or so we decided to check out and when the SA checked me she made the most sexist comment I think I have ever hear from a woman who was pushing 80.

She asked me if I was wearing it to someplace special. My retort was yes as a matter of fact. She then says to me that they have some wonderful heels that would go well with the dress. Not wanting to miss the fun I told her "dear I have a couple pairs already that will be fine. I paid the $6 and took my dress and left. The stuned look and laughter from those around her made my day.

The best was, after I left her mind had to be running a thousand miles per hour. Is he or isn't he and are those heels low or 4" stilleto. She will never know for sure.

Teri

[MelanieCA]

So sad....Clearly the poor woman was talking to herself. :(

[PetiteDuality]

Hey, maybe the jacket was just ugly and she thought that only a person with psychiatric issues could have bought it :D

Just kidding... just don't pay attention to the crazy people hanging around

[Kickin' Crosser]

Hey, maybe the jacket was just ugly and she thought that only a person with psychiatric issues could have bought it :D

I found it after the confrontation, just for the record. :D

I still have plans on looking around, going back (though infrequently just so I don't get wound up in the proverbial pink fog), though now I'll go back a much wiser person in many respects. :)

[tricia_uktv]

Don't let the buggers grind you down. Its their problem!

[meri]

The interesting thing is that when someone makes a comment like that, they are the one that really needs the help. She's clearly insecure and full of fear, you rocked her boat! Her ego cried out for help.

[shadyterri]

Fortunately I have not encountered any of those prudes. Hopefully I never will. One can get some great bargains at Thrift shops.

[Lorileah]

It is odd that a person would be shopping alone in a thrift store. I believe that there is some sort of disorder that covers that. Truthfully there is (was) a woman here in Denver who would act that way on the mall. She would ask very politely for a hand out and when refused would go into the vilest language you ever heard. So my thought is the women you met had some sort of disorder that kept her from filtering herself. :)

[sterling12]

Everybody in The Thrift Store is "Competing," trying to find that perfect item before somebody else grabs it. Some people are "Shopaholics," and they consider ANY other shoppers to be taking goodies away from them. For these types of people, it's sort of like a dog who treads (and does other things) in the other dog's yard. The fact she blurted her thoughts out, shows a lack of self-control. I would leave it at that!

Actually by shopping in practically ALL The Departments, you gave yourself a pretty good cover. If I were paying attention to what you were doing, I would probably assume you were a seller on Ebay, and you were looking for items to resell. Perhaps that's what she was also doing....that makes you a "Supercompetitor."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[suspender]

Ive had no problems like that at either the Salvo's or Vinnies (St Vincent de Paul) shops over here yet, totally the opposite. Maybe her first question and following statement related to what she was perceiving, ie, she may have seen a heap of people standing around in her mind, which is why she asked whether you were alone, and then said you need to see a psych because you couldnt see them!! Then again, she may have been the Salvo's shop detective :devil:

Although these types are frustrating, they are also entertaining which made the visit to the shop a memorable one for you. I have found these shops a great way to meet different and interesting people from all walks of life.

[kimkat]

It sucks that in an age where anyone can be anything people still have their heads up their collective bums. Next time look at her smile sweetly and say Ma'am I have it Can i give you her number lmao. This is just my oppinion. ((did it once shut the person up qwick))

UI was going to say something similar but I was beaten to the punch. Could always make up a bunch of buisness cards to hand out next time. Maybe something like :


Dr Scratchnsniff

555-5555

"Our patients go nuts over us"

Kim

[msginaadoll]

Well first of all congratulations on your great find! Second sorry to hear you ran into a party pooper. They seem to turn up every now and then. The bad thing is at the time you never have a good retort handy. Maybe all of us that go out should carry comic material in our purse just in case. I once had a lady at the Salvation Army ask if I worked there, I said no she replied sorry OI saw you staring intently at the dresses. Little did she know or maybe she did that I had a semi-formal dinner dance to to go to and was looking for the perfect frock.

[Cheyenne Skye]

But what if the next time, the fear ridden fool is a 250 lb linebacker not a little old lady? Be careful out there.

[ReineD]

If it makes you feel any better, I've had a few people be extremely rude to me and it had nothing to do with CDing. Some people are just plain judgmental, rigid, and rude. Best to just ignore them and feel grateful that you are not like that. Be proud for taking the high road.

[wendy360]

I was in Kohl's onetime looking at bras and a woman walked up and told me to go buy a gift certificate.
Another time a little boy was with his parents in the bra department and the little boy touched a couple of bras and his father started yelling at him that boys don't touch those things. I just looked at them and smiled.

[TiffanyMN]

I decided long ago that when confronted by somebody that just wants to interject their negative view into my world that since I have never met them before chances are I will never meet them again. You can't change a closed mind so why waste the effort and ruin your own day. :) It is far better to do as you did and take the high road. It retains your dignity and robs them of the confrontation they were looking for.

[lisalove]

I was going to say what Sterling said, but she beat me too it.
Then I had another idea. Iwould say some like, "well I guess that poor old homeless woman out there doesn't need this nice warm coat then." And then hang it back up and walk away for a minute. I bet that'll put her panties in a knot.
Avtually more than likely I'd tell the b#$^* to F&*% off. It's none of her damn business what I spend my money on.

[NathalieX66]

When I was 19, and a poor starving college student I walked into a Salvation Army, and got the most incredible dirty scowl when I purchased a black corduroy miniskirt for about $5.00, I'll never forget that expression on her face.
I am also going to tell you about something that I witness daily. Keep this in mind as I think it is a good reference for the human tolerance spectrum:

I live in a small American town that has a downtown, which has a senior full-time crossdresser that constantly peruses all the consignment shops in town. She is well known and well liked.... and even accepted by the high school students that walk past her. But on a few rare occasions, she has stopped traffic and nearly caused a few rear-enders because a few jackasses freaked out at what they saw. I almost expect to hear screeching tires and the sound of a crashing car every time I see her, and it has happend. I have also heard obscenities hurled at her. It's sad that a few see CD'ers as a threat to society, but as I've indicated before....."smoking kills 5.4 million people worldwide, crossdressing kills zero". Some people can't do math...it's that simple.

[sherri52]

The woman obviously has problems of her own. I'll bet nobody likes her including family. You did the right thing and did your best to ignore her.

[Nicole Erin]

I was going to say what Sterling said, but she beat me too it.
Then I had another idea. Iwould say some like, "well I guess that poor old homeless woman out there doesn't need this nice warm coat then."

Oh gyod that old lady would have dropped a square turd in her Depends

[Molly Wells]

I need to get to the city! I've never seen a Salvation Army Store with four floors! Oh, I do agree the lady was absurd and needs to be put in her place!
Molly

[lingerieLiz]

They are everywhere! The wildest question I've ever had was when a woman bent over my shoulder while I was absorbed in looking at bras and asked, "Do you always wear them?" Without thinking I said yes. Then, it dawned on me what she said and I stood up. and asked her what she had said. She stammered out, I asked if it was for you? and smiled. I smiled back and said sure all the time. She told me she was cool with it and was just curious.

[Sally2005]

I get enough negative comments and insults on a continual basis from my elderly parents so ignoring negative comments from strangers is super easy.

[Kickin' Crosser]

This is the jacket I found for $13 at the Salvation Army the other day, becoming my favorite - good color [looks better in person than in the photo], fits beyond perfectly, the hood is more than big enough - but also closes up nice and securely, in great shape, and is very puffy [looks better in person than in the photo].... oooohhhhh do I love puffy coats. :D

http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/6416/jcrewpinkorangehoodedpu.jpg
http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/6416/jcrewpinkorangehoodedpu.jpg
http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/6416/jcrewpinkorangehoodedpu.jpg
http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/4918/jcrewpinkorangehoodedpug.jpg

Not intending to throw this topic off too much.

[Samantha Girl]

Good for you Nathalie in the way you handled yourself! ;)

If put in your situation I would've had something to say, after I got over the shock, just the way I am. I'd be like "Well, someone has some psychological problems, and I'm lookin right at them" aaaand smile nice and big, then walk away :D

[Rachel Morley]

I can see why you'd be likely to get all pi$$ed off about it as it's downright rude and frankly none of her business. However, I guess you just have to laugh at people like this. They are so dumb and narrow minded that I bet they really think there's a problem. Laugh it off, ultimately, it's them that need the help :)

[Angie G]

I'd say well thank you dear lady.:hugs:
Angie

[Frédérique]

To which he responded, "Don't know, and don't care. Best not to worry about it." Though it is hard not to, which was understandable (and he seemd to understand too).

Just think, if it were not for people like this going out en femme would be totally hum drum boring with no excitement.
We should embrace ignorant intolerant people such as this lady.

Yes, I think Suzanne has the right idea and the right attitude. It’s all about being different, and the intolerant types out in the world only reinforce this curious desire to stand apart from everyone else – I absolutely revel in it! Now, if I was going along, minding my own business, existing in my own drab little world, and a crossdresser suddenly homed into view, I would be entranced by the idea, pleased that someone was making his or her life have some meaning. I would hope that someone hadn’t TOLD me that such things were wrong, for one reason or another, because then I would be truly drab in body, mind, and…spirit…if you believe in such things. Of all the things that would upset someone – to be dressed differently than what you were TAUGHT was correct? How tragic…:sad:

[docrobbysherry]

THAT pisses me off, too!:Angry3:

[UASIANGAL]

That's a HOT jacket and its J Crew's too! About the incident, that's so double standards. Every department of men's wear, I see WOMEN shopping and ESPECIALLY the underwear department! More women shops there then men! Old lady, old fashion, old ideals. Just plain old ignore her!

[Presh GG]

When shoping with my DH , we've met a few of "those people"

I love to say," Oh ,Pardon me Senora,. Is there a problem? Can I help you? Are you OK ? Just kill her with kindness and wait for her to explain herself.
Sad part [ and the fun of it] is They can't explain themselves.
I had one man just sputter in exasperation. Put the old ball in their court. They go home feeling like the fools they are.

Bet she'll keep her fool thoughts to herself next time.

That jacket is serious Cute .. Great find!

Presh GG

[Emma England]

Sounds like she is the one who needs help.

I find it comical that people can behave like this.

[Kickin' Crosser]

That jacket is serious Cute .. Great find!




I know, I can't stop wearing it, it is so cute & cozy. :D

[Nicole Erin]

THAT pisses me off, too!:Angry3:

yeah if you are at a thrift place and have your eye on something, grab it and decide later. I have a friend who hits the thrift stores a lot and she said the same thing.

[Andy66]

Sounds like you really annoyed that woman.
Serves her right. :lol:

[charlie]

Two things hit me about your story. The first is that the woman obviously put together that you were buying woman's clothes for yourself and she thought that was horrible. The second was that the sales clerk was pretty on the ball. He wanted you to brush off the circumstance and let it go. He made no judgments about you or her, he just wanted to let bygones be bygones and not have any problems.

[Tara Lutschich]

Admirable maintaining your composure. We see women shopping for mens clothes all the time, guess that's a social norm. I too was in my local thrift store this week (no finds) and a lady had at least 5 pairs on mens pants over her arm. Something like 30% of the purchases of womens soft goods in USA from major retailers is by men.

Well done and thanks for sharing.

[Sweet Jane]

her prejudice isn't your problem, it's hers.....if I ever strike someone like that I just smile to them and carry on with my day...thankfully, at least for me, someone like her is a once in a blue moon event

[NathalieX66]

Good for you Nathalie in the way you handled yourself! ;)

Who me? :raisedeyebrow:

Sure you don't mean KC? ...not that I mind having my identity mistaken:heehee:

[christinek]

Living in the Homophobic "Proud" South the Bubba Factor is huge here, thus the transgender community here is quiet and makes no waves. We do get together but in a Church once a month. Atlanta although only 3 hours drive away is completely different!

[Michelle 2774]

It is sad to think people feel that they need to comment on other people's business...

Oftentimes I go out with my capri pants on and my ballet slippers, and a woman looked at me in disgust (I was also wearing a really nice blouse!) and I felt bad about it for a day or so. :Angry3:

I felt so bad that I discussed the issue with my sister, and she commented that as long as you are comfortable with who you are you should never feel ashamed, angry or upset. Some people are just busy-bodies who have no life.

I know it can be difficult to hold back your tongue (it is for me!) but the main thing that should be understood is...you got a great price for a jacket!!! You go girlfriend!!!!

[Midnight Skye]

They are everywhere! The wildest question I've ever had was when a woman bent over my shoulder while I was absorbed in looking at bras and asked, "Do you always wear them?" Without thinking I said yes. Then, it dawned on me what she said and I stood up. and asked her what she had said. She stammered out, I asked if it was for you? and smiled. I smiled back and said sure all the time. She told me she was cool with it and was just curious.

Way too funny Liz!!! As for our main poster... while I her view of the world so very sad. I must say I find her comment funny... she has no idea why you're there... and she jumps to her worst conclusion! I can't help but laugh at people like that (usually right when they do it too... they think I'm nuts).

[Samantha_Smile]

I havent read the dozens of replies to this, but Kickin', the only thing I can think of is a cliche (yeah, I know chiches become cliches becuase theyre true)

But...

The reaction to not understanding something fully is aversion to it.
People fear what they don't understand.


It's a shame that biggots are still so prevailant.

[Kickin' Crosser]

I'm going back there tomorrow. Hopefully, that person won't be back.

If anybody tells me "you need psychiatric help," I'm tempted to just say "yes you do," in an tone of casual agreement, walk away without giving them another word, casually go about my business and let them figure it out.

[TrishW]

Just ignore people like that,she is the one who needs help

[Jess]

That kind of stuff is enough to make you want to give someone the ole throat punch. It sure can be hard to walk away from, but your course of action was best.

[Lilth]

Kicken' Crosser- Unfortunatly this world has decided to ignore thier own problems and sit in judment of others perceived problems. If people can sit there and say that person has issues and I don't have any like that then they make themselves feel better. No it is not right. Yes that woman needs to be taken down a few pegs but I think you did good. To jump down her throat over expressing her oppinion would just be hypicritical... Although I take great pleasure in thinking of all the things I could say and how she might react. People are just mean and if you are not excatly like them in every way there is something wrong with you... That is why I say give me animals any day. If they bite you there is a logical reason why. Humans are just mean. Keep your head up and blow her off. She aint worth your time or energy.