Femme tendencies

[Ingrid1999]

I dont want this to sound like some wierdo post, so bear with me.

I have significant submissive drives, not into humiliation and licking boots kind of submission, but to be the passive or femme partner. I feel this way with women but it is very hard to find a dominant female mate.

I had a GF in college who was very strong and athletic as well as very sexually aggressive who tapped into this in me and I never got loose of it. Ive always had a female emotional and sexual orientation but most women seem to want the man to be the man and I tend to wind up unsatisfied. While I can be and sometimes feel dominant, its not my basic nature.

I wonder do any of you share this perdicament? I read how many of you have supportive wives but yet you still play the male role intimatly. But for those who dont, what do you do? Are there women out there for femme males who dont want to be humiliated, just made love to.?

[Karren H]

I don't know when being submissive equated to being female? A lot of the females I know would rip your lips off if they heard that.. I'm not submissive and not agressive unless someone checks me into the goalie! Lol.

[kellycan27]

I understand what you are talking about.. it's nice to let someone else be in charge, and in control sometimes. One of my favorite sayings is "yes, I will let him be in charge until..............It's time for him NOT to be in charge";)
Works rather well fo me.

Kel

[Elvira]

I'm quite lucky when it comes to the sensual time with my g.f. She will either take on the role as Elvira's lesbian lover or Juliene ,E's male lover and once in a while my male side will come out and play! We just love playing games.

[sterling12]

I have met an awful lot of Crossdressers who have Dominant Significant Others. But, I think it might be a "Chicken or The Egg" sort of scenario. I think if you act passive, and "force" the other partner to be dominant; the vast majority of folks will fulfill that role.

In your quest, you also may be "forcing things." Trying to find someone who instantly fits The Role. Find someone you like, do your thing, then see what happens. You just might find your "Dominatrix." Or....you can just go and visit The Local Alternative Lifestyles Club near you. Lots of Amateur Dommes who would be more than willing to take you on as their slave. You'll get lots of "Passive Time," if you do that!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Lorileah]

A common theory on why some men dress is that they are in a position of power all day and just want to let that go when they get home. Convoluted logic at best but for some reason psychologists need reasons, how does that make you feel?

[cordgrass]

That's the way I feel. I like to be dominant, but I'm not into the humiliation aspect of it. I suppose I could be if it were important to my partner, but it's not something I need myself.

So we do exist. :)

[Karen7cd]

I know what you are talking about! My first wife had to be on top and all I did was to
not explode for her 3 minutes of fun. My present wife wants to be passive most of the time, but does mix it up once in a while. Try "being the girl" but with an edge of agressiveness, about 60% of the way the guy inside will kick in.
Most sexual problem between partners are due to the lack of communication. I'm keeping this part generic because it is. Talk to you partner. Tell them what you want.
Most hetero females I have found have trouble with "their man" being female like.
Try to find a blend that will satisfy them and you. In my case any talk of or wearing of female attire completely shuts her down. So I have found other ways to be her "b".
and still be male.
Karen

[Lucy Long Legs]

Hi Ingrid

Yes I identify strongly with your feelings. I have rarely found it possible to take the dominant role and always am dressed in a very feminine way for our intimate moments. My wife is happy to take the leading role and I am completely submissive. I do enjoy a certain amount of humiliation but only as a feeling of powerlessness - I like to feel that I am the weaker of us. This is probably the case anyway! I like to wear the kind of clothes which feminists despise - ones that emphasise my vulnerability.

You're not wierd, and nor am I!

[Ingrid1999]

Thanks for the responses. It is not easy for me to talk about such things because it is so easily misunderstood. Unfortunatly such feelings are too often associated with bsdm and humiliation and all that , which is not at all what I am talking about.

I am taliking about feelings related to being desired and being free from constantly playing a role. Furthermore, a strong woman taking the lead is very very romantic to me. Heroines make my heart beat faster, but they seem only to be found in literature. And while I can certainly take care of myself and others, if I am to be honest here, my feelings dont stop at wearing a dress. From what i read on this board I am not alone.
And I am glad to see that.

Cordgrass, thanks for responding its nce to know women like you are out there. Lucy you are a lucky girl.

[charlie]

A common theory on why some men dress is that they are in a position of power all day and just want to let that go when they get home. Convoluted logic at best but for some reason psychologists need reasons, how does that make you feel?

I'm afraid that Lori has hit on something here. I'm the boss the whole day and run my business. When I go out as Charlie I'm not a boss, just a girl meeting others and having fun. I'm a relaxed me. Maybe that is more submissive then my regular self, but it a comfortable self as well.

[sherri52]

Share the roles with your partner, passive, submissive, or domineering and the relationship will have a better chance of survival.

[danielle.cd]

growin up my mom was a stern women, my dad was always working and when he came home he went to sleep most of the time (bad bouts with depresion) so my mom had to be a strong stern women and even though my dad is emosionless fearless and pure man seemed from my point of view my mom ran the show wether my dad liked it or not

for me i like the bossey women and like to be told what they want me do how and sometimes even for them to take charge and just @##$% me.
well ive been married for 10 years come july and i have have to be the agreesive one whether in fem mode or not i do all the work so to say
soft and gentle isn her style if u no what i mean

[ReineD]

I feel this way with women but it is very hard to find a dominant female mate.

Can you envision two people, regardless of gender, being loving and sensuous with no one in the dominant or the submissive role? Or rather two people giving and taking like the ebb and flow of the tide?

[KerryLynn]

There are quite a few males who are not as dominiate as a lot of women may like. Myself included. But Female doesnt equate submissive.. Prime example I know a true dome :D I dont get into that but god shes fun :D