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sarahluv74
01-07-2010, 04:24 AM
as i sit here looking thru clothing, make up body enhancers, i look at myself in the mirrior and wonder why i cant find anyone to love me for me. i do so much to make myself look the best i can. i put myself out there and in the end i just keep getting hurt. at times i do wonder about just stopping transitioning and going back to living the lie i had been living for over 25 years. but than i think that i cant go back to having suicidal thoughts. to crying every night when i layed down in bed. i just have to keep reminding myself that there is someone for me and i will find him one day. thank you for letting me rant on and hope that i didnt bend your ear to much.

Renee_E
01-07-2010, 07:03 AM
First is to love yourself for who you are. I have been their several times and had to pick myself up. When I look at the joys of my life I am joyful. When I look into the dark pits of my life I feel like I am goimg to fall in. Just be you and your life will filled with good things and good people that really care about you.

Jocelyn Quivers
01-07-2010, 07:10 AM
Hi Sarah,

I know this is not much of consellation, but it took me about a good 20 years of being rejected by practically every woman I came in contact with, and the very few that weren't repulsed by me the relationships did not last very long.

Then somehow me and my wife met, litteraly out of no where. She accepted both sides to me. In the end it was well worth the very long extended wait.

I know that you are in a different situation than I am but I do believe there is 1 special person for everyone out there. It just might take a very long time to find them. But they are there. :)

DiannaRose
01-07-2010, 09:18 AM
Sarah, I echo what Renee says...love yourself, above all! Loneliness is painful, it's true, but it's not a permanent state, no matter how much it might feel that way while you're experiencing it. But no amount of wishing it away will ever work. What will work is to be yourself, put yourself in social situations wherever feasible--but don't expect to meet that special someone. When it's meant to be, it'll be.

If you like, I'll pray for you. If not, I'll at least send some good thoughts your way. But know this...you ARE loved, and accepted. Don't ever forget that, and if you just need to talk, PM me any time.

Joni Marie Cruz
01-07-2010, 09:31 AM
Hi Sarah-

I agree with what the other girls have said, especially Joceylyn's point that there's someone for each of, I also believe that there's more than just one person out there, which improves the odds. For what it's worth, my wife and I celebrated our 24th anniversary last November. She has known about my CD side since before we were married, though at that time she didn't know the true depth of my feelings, then again, neither did I. She is supportive, understanding and helpful.

This is not to say that we have not had our issues with it, but I am lucky in having found someone who loves and understands both sides of me. Don't give up on yourself and your dreams, Sarah, keep yourself open to taking a chance even though it may mean pain and heartache in the short run.

Good luck, girl.

Hugs...Joni Mari

docrobbysherry
01-07-2010, 10:54 AM
Let me explain WHY!:eek:

I'm over 60, divorced, and I've been "dating" for approximately the last 4+ years. There's been one OVERWHELMING problem with the ladies I've met;

They've also been hurt in the past. And, MOST r NOT able to fully care for another, or give of themselves as they could before! :sad:
I can usually tell fairly soon! Some even tell me upfront, in their own way!:straightface:

Being vulnerable to being hurt, means you're STILL capable of FEELING and LOVING, to your full human capacity! Considering all the walking zombies I see these days, I think that makes u VERY FORTUNATE INDEED!:)