I want to go all the way...

[TrekGirl1701]

It hit me yesterday like a ton of bricks. Throughout my adult life I've been confused and desperately trying to figure out what my CDing meant. I remember being a young boy at about 4 years old and enjoy doing girly activities. I did have a male influence with three older brothers, but that only did so much. I remember growing up and wanting to wear dresses and grow my hair long. However, when I was finally old enough to think about what it all meant I just kept telling myself that I just wanted to wear the clothes and remain a male. I guess it was just the safest thing to admit to myself.

But yesterday I felt something I've never felt before. It's kind of hard to explain but a thought just popped into my head as if it were a female talking. My inner thoughts had always been male, but a female voice finally talked. That's when I admitted that I should have been born a girl and I no longer want to be male. Suddenly my way of thinking has changed. I'm no longer afraid to be honest and let my true feelings out.

That's why this year I've decided that I'm coming out. Just to my immediate family at first, then I'll slowly let everybody else know. I'm planning to do it on my birthday. I figure that's the best day since extra attention will be on me anyway. But I'm open to doing it sooner if a good moment should come up.

2010 was once known as the year we make contact. Well, the same can be said for me as I contact the part of me I've been hiding my whole life and ask her to come out. And I'll definitely need some help transitioning so this will be like my second home. :)

[SteveDallas]

Congratulations on your decision and the best of luck to you. I hope your year turns out to be everything you hope for.

[Amber-Sue]

If this revelation only came to you yesterday take the time to weigh the pro's and con's of your actions. Write down the benefits of coming out and the problems it could cause for yourself and or the family and then determine if you are willing to face up to any problems and live with them.

Good luck

Amber-Sue

[carolinoakland]

Hiya sweetie, welcome to the club, and just get used to the fact that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you...And well, looks like your bell has rung, and there's nothing to do but run with it! Let us know what we can do to help,and remember. The only dumb question is the one you didn't ask. Enjoy.. Carol

And PS. What AmberSue says is true. You may be experiencing the dreaded "Pink Fog"... there are threads about it, read them. My pink fog almost got me raped. This not the kind of thing you just 'decide' to do, you have to really sit down and accept that everything you know and have right now might be lost as the price of this happiness. Also look for a thread called "So you want to be a T girl?" If you can't find it PM me and I'll see if I can find a copy. Carol

[TrekGirl1701]

Don't get me wrong. I'll be constantly thinking about it up until the point where I plan to come out. But I've been confused my whole life and I have never felt so sure about my place in the gender spectrum until now. Never say never, but I'm 99.9% positive by the end of the year I WILL be out of the closet. Maybe it'll be rough out of the gate, maybe not. But I have to think about myself and what I truly want from my life. And this is it. :)

[Karren H]

I think I'd do a little more self analysis and do some homework to figure out the full implications of your revelations.... What we want isn't always possible and what we get isn't always what we thought it would be..

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Good luck sweetie

My unsolicited advice is to get out and do something before you start telling people..

spend a weekend out of town, go to a conference and spend the entire time studying and talking to people..meet other T people and get to know them...

I've often thought back to a dinner I had with a number of women that transitioned and how much I felt like I belonged... this was the moment I knew..see how you relate to other people as a woman so you can understand what its really all about

its for your own benefit to do this, and if you find you are on the right path, it will give you more strength and determination when you discuss this with other people

[msniki48]

I think I'd do a little more self analysis and do some homework to figure out the full implications of your revelations.... What we want isn't always possible and what we get isn't always what we thought it would be..


Karren....your words ring so true...i had to also make an about face, after weighing all the pros and cons....this is where i can be now...maybe someday, but this is where i need to be now.

your thoughts run deep


hugs

msniki

ps: i absolutely love the short hair! adorable!

[jenna_woods]

congrations you have found your self, good luck

[TrekGirl1701]

I think I'd do a little more self analysis and do some homework to figure out the full implications of your revelations.... What we want isn't always possible and what we get isn't always what we thought it would be..

Oh, I definitely agree. My plan is to come out on my birthday and that's in 7 and a half months. I figure if my feelings haven't changed by that time then it's safe to say the feelings are true.

Just to be clear with everybody: I'm not going to jump the gun and start telling everybody I know tomorrow and make an immediate change to my whole life. I know it'll be a long, long process and it may take years to perfect. But at the moment things are looking good. The feelings I currently have are new to me so it's just a bit exciting to take in. :)

[prene]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I think I'd do a little more self analysis and do some homework to figure out the full implications of your revelations.... What we want isn't always possible and what we get isn't always what we thought it would be..

Listen to KARREN,
Small steps. small steps . . . .

[Rianna Humble]

Oh, I definitely agree. My plan is to come out on my birthday and that's in 7 and a half months. I figure if my feelings haven't changed by that time then it's safe to say the feelings are true.

Just to be clear with everybody: I'm not going to jump the gun and start telling everybody I know tomorrow and make an immediate change to my whole life. I know it'll be a long, long process and it may take years to perfect. But at the moment things are looking good. The feelings I currently have are new to me so it's just a bit exciting to take in. :)

I think you are already taking a sensible approach - begin by letting those closest to you know who you really are, then take time to get used to it.

I would also echo the advice to take time out away from home to dress for a couple of days and try to be with other girls.

As you rightly say, transition will take years and may be a bumpy ride if ans when you decide that it is time to go down that route.

I think you are probably already taking Karren's very sound advice, but whatever your final decision, one thing that you can know for certain is that we will be here to offer our support and any advice we can when you want it.

[NathalieX66]

My advice is to meet people, who have actually done it, and find out what they have to say.
Live to learn/learn to live.

[AKASadieGG]

Gotta agree, I'm with Karren on this one. No need to hurry. Take it slow.

[Schatten Lupus]

Congrats!! I wish I could come out to my family this year, but the timing isn't right yet. If it does become right, then I probably will.
I do plan on going out dressed this year though. I was going to do it last year, but I haven't got even a half way decent voice yet.

[thechic]

Good luck but remember once the cats out of the bag theres no stopping it.
i did the same thing just before xmas, thought it a good time to tell the wife.:daydreaming:



http://www.flickr.com/photos/44936757@N07/

[melissacd]

While I agree that you have to be prudent about all things in life I also feel that if you are sure feel that this is who you really are then you need to become that person. You need to make a plan about how you will work your way out of the closet and carefully work that plan.

I am happy that you have finally found out who you are, it really is a wonderful feeling. Note though that now that you have made this critical personal discovery it is important to consult with people and resources to help you along the way. It is easy to think that it is the right path (and it may well be) but it is also easy to get euphoric about a choice as well and make some really really bad and irreversible choices along the way.

Do not kid yourself, there will be huge consequences to coming out. You have to be prepared for your life to be turned completely upside down. For me it was worth it because I could no longer live my life the way I was so all of the emotional pain, life disruption and financial loss were worth it to me. As you can see from other threads that I have posted or posted to, I believe in stepping up to the plate and being your authentic self (though I have made some bad mistakes along the way) and moving forward to becoming a happier person, I also believe in not doing this with reckless abandon. To the contrary, I subscribe to a careful thoughtful approach, as much as is realistically possible.

So think this through, make a plan and work the plan. Find support, carefully test the waters and step forward. Understand and be prepared for the consequences of your choices for they will surely be there.

Good luck and take courage in your journey out of the closet.

Melissa

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of good advice here my friend. Just remember, girls do not become women overnight.:)

[Angie G]

I wish you all the luck in you coming out. You go girl.:hugs:
Angie

[Tina L.]

You go gurl if that's what you really want, I hope that's me someday.