Looking a good as you can

[minalost]

Bear with me on this…

Have any of you seen the Barney Miller TV Show episode (sit com from the 70s – 80s, yah, I know, I’m really dating myself… :tongueout) where all the detectives have to take turns dressing as women and hanging out in central park to attract muggers/rapists? It starts out with Detective Stan Wojciehowicz (Max Gail) in drag – looks horrible :eek:! Ron Glass’s character (Detective Ron Harris) doesn’t want to do it because he’ll have to shave his mustachios. In the end he shows up with his face clean and in drag – he looks great :battingeyelashes:! When asked why he made so much effort to look good (I’m paraphrasing here because I don’t remember exactly what was said) he replies something like, “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to look good.”

My point: why do most of us try to look as good as possible when dressed up? I was going to use the dreaded “pass” phrase here, but I don’t want this to devolve into another “It’s okay not to pass” or “we don’t care if we pass, we just want to be accepted” thread. While I basically agree with those sentiments, I’m more curious about the individual reasons we all have regarding the struggle to prefect this illusion; even though most of us know we’re never going to succeed? I mean just look at this site: whole subcategories of threads devoted to advice about makeup and accessories (just to clarify: I LOVE this site AND the advice threads, I’ve read most of them!). Another way to look at it: how much money have we collectively spent on things OTHER THAN women’s clothing (makeup, forms, wigs, epilators…)? If all we had to buy was a dress it would be a whole lot cheaper!

This thread is the result of a conversation my wife and I had on this very subject. She was trying to understand why I needed to shave my legs and do all this other stuff (and spend all this extra money…). Why couldn’t I just put on a skirt and be happy with that? Frankly, I really didn’t know until then.

So here’s my answer:

It all boils down to the fact that plain old me looks ridiculous in a dress. Ouch :cry:! Okay, now shave some hair; add a wig, makeup, accessories, some forms, and little practice with my walk, some training with my voice, and (Shazam!) I’m not quite so ridiculous any more :). A lot of it is also about what Ron Glass said in Barney Miller: “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to look good.”

Or at least as good as I can :2c:.

Thoughts?

[charlie]

Hello Mina!
You are most correct! If I am going to dress as Charlie and go out, then I'm going to be the absolute best woman that I can. The transformation usually take over an hour and the time does pay. The visage the Charlie is, is so strikingly different then my male self that even close friends do not recognize that one is really the other. It is this transformation the makes me feel good, different, complete and pleased.

[Holly]

When I leave the comfort of my own home, I want to put my best foot forward, be it in sneakers or stiletos. My wife has encouraged me from the very beginning, telling me from the outset that if I was going to do this, then I was going to do it right, correct clothing for the occasion, makeup properly applied, appropriarte demeanor and gestures, and so on. Most ladies I know would not think of leaving the house without paying attention to their grooming and applying at least minimal makeup.

Another line of thought is that it is a matter of personal pride... caring that my personal appearance is pleasing to those around me. I want what I present to the world to be as pleasing as possible. I would also be afraid that some of our genetic sisters could be offended if there was hair growing through my pantyhose or my makeup looked like I was a first year student at clown school.

Speaking for only myself, if our desire is to dress and present as ladies, then we should do so by giving it our very best effort.

[Karren H]

I love that episode.... Fish had to dress up too? Lol

I too try to always look good and am hardly ever happy with the outcome... But that doesn't stop me...

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I for one also like to look as good as possible, regardless of how I'm dressed. I'm glad you phrased it that way because this is a different issue entirely from "passing." In fact, this is why I don't try to pass most of the time. Because unless I put in a lot of work, and frankly enlist help of those much more talented with makeup than myself, I'm never going to look better as a woman than I do as a man. But I can look really good as a man in women's clothes, so that's what I choose to dress as.

[jenna_woods]

I agree, wen I dress to go out I make sure I look my best. most times it takes me ahour to get dressed to go our, shaveing, make uo nails and all those things

[Miranda09]

Looking good is part of the challenge. When I dress, I want to see a woman (or as close as I can get to it) staring back at me in the mirror. For me, that's the whole goal of the transformation, to make it complete. :)

[DiannaRose]

Charlie is, is so strikingly different then my male self that even close friends do not recognize that one is really the other.

I just look like myself in makeup! LOL

Actually, I was a little surprised to see today that when I wear makeup I look a lot like my mother. That was a little freaky, just for a moment. :)

[danielle.cd]

well ever since i was little like seven or eight i knew that to were girlie clothes felt nice and i felt good like i was supposed to be wearing them except i was a boy and in my family boys didnt do that when i got a to about thirteen i discovered that i could fit into a dress and when no one was home i tried on all the skiny dresses and stuff i could sneek without anyone nowing that i had even moved them, at that time i new someday i would by my own and look like the women i feel like on the inside,

so for me its to be a women, not a man in a dress not to be transgender, i hate that word its like a derogatory word to me (sorry about that to those that label them selfs with this word, )

i now there are many levels of dressing, but to me if your gana dress why not try to pass if you dont try then your basicaly a clown, they wants people to see and coment and giggle, if you just like the feel of the clothes and nothing more you just have a fetish i guess,

im not trying to down anyone this is just the way i see things and the way i sort the guys who take it seriously and the ones who think its kinda fun and jokes about it ,

whew i didnt know i was this long winded lol

plus there are many tools out there now to help any one pass with the right help or right knowledg and practice most can pass, dont believe me look at some before and afters on some of the boutiques.

well theres my two cents <not meaning to offend anyone by the way>

[msginaadoll]

For me, Ive always felt a little self conscious about my looks. As I got more comfortable and better at dressing as Gina, I found I got more compliments and was surprised to find that some people told me I wasnt hideous. Well those things go to this cds head, and found myself wanting more and more to dress well, look my best and not be considered hideous!!!

[Bobbie Bee]

I think you hit the proverbial nail on the head; we want to look as good as we can. We may not pass, but I guess that's okay because we, as individuals, feel good no matter how we look.

[sherri52]

Ron did look good and that is about what he said. As for the dressing as men we have especially those who have worked outside for forty years have toughened up our skin and need additional pampering to look as a woman. I have tried for years to moisten my skin and to soften the look. It is working but as a walking mailman in Boston for 30 years my skin was building up toughness. In the earlier years I wouldn't think of pytting moisturizer on my face, now I do it all the time. I'm still only trying to improve my "I don't care look".

[Kate Simmons]

The bottom line is that we all have our own standards of excellence when it comes to appearance.:)

[docrobbysherry]

They're BOTH fruit, but after that, have LITTLE IN COMMON!:eek:

I dressed to go out once. Spent LOT'S of time selecting conservative, "blending" outfits, dark colors, simple hair and make up, etc., etc. Did I "look good"? NOT! I looked like an OLD MAID! :doh: BORING!!!:Angry3:

"Looking good" for me can mean dressing:
Young! Hot! Sexy! Skimpy! Sleazy! In classic and/or period styles! Crazy! Goofy! Whatever I can imagine!:devil:

Could I do ANY OF THAT if I was worried about passing? :brolleyes: Not hardly!

I submit that the two things r not compatible for MANY CD folks! :D

[ReineD]

This thread is the result of a conversation my wife and I had on this very subject. She was trying to understand why I needed to shave my legs and do all this other stuff (and spend all this extra money…). Why couldn’t I just put on a skirt and be happy with that? Frankly, I really didn’t know until then.


I'm not TG, so please bear with me. But I do hang around here an awful lot. :)

Don't you think the reason you do all of this is to feel feminine? It took me a long time to get this, but with my SO's help I think I'm getting a handle on it. She knows she is not a woman. She doesn't want to be a woman. But, she wants to be as feminine as she can possibly be. She cannot do this with a beard and hairy legs.

[BrendaAlexandra]

There's no point in doing it if it isn't done right!

[JenniferR771]

Reine, thanks, I think you are on to something here. Crossdressers could be more passable if they wore jeans and sneakers--I blend easily that way. But I don't feel so feminine. I suspect that I want to dress in a way that would be attractive to me. Sophisticated suit or nice dress. I am attracted to the girl in the mirror. I always complained at a support group that I went to--that there were not enough mirrors. LOL! After about 5 minutes, I forgot what I looked like. Just 5 men in dresses talking about hot cars.

[Miranda09]

I'm not TG, so please bear with me. But I do hang around here an awful lot. :)

Don't you think the reason you do all of this is to feel feminine? It took me a long time to get this, but with my SO's help I think I'm getting a handle on it. She knows she is not a woman. She doesn't want to be a woman. But, she wants to be as feminine as she can possibly be. She cannot do this with a beard and hairy legs.

Exactly......hairless feels so much more feminine than hairy. Don't think I'll ever go back to hairy legs again! :)

[Sally2005]

I had to think about this a little. In the beginning it was just a few items and at home, but once I decided to go outside it became a matter of what I thought was safety and blending in. After having some success, it became a challenge to look as natural as I can to blend even better, I would like to look attractive, but that's not really the goal...yet at the same time it is fun to dream and I have purchased more than one piece of clothing that would never work in the whole blending scheme.

[minalost]

Thanks for all the input ladies :hugs:! Lots of good ideas and thoughts!

[RachelRICD]

I dress everyday and work as a woman in an office with 30-40 other women, all GG's. It would be an insult not to look my best. I am finishing up my first month at this new job and I got an e-mail from my boss this morning. She said "..you dress better that the majority of women who work here." Talk about a confidence booster.

Yes, it always pays to look as good as you can when going out for any reason. :D

[CATgirldo]

I try to dress my best because I like what I wear, but also because other people are going to see me.... and i'd like to preserve their eyesight.


CAT

[suchacutie]

Reine is exactly right about feeling feminine. If I can take it one step farther, I find the process of transformation has become a bit of a ritual (one which I really don't like interrupted, interestingly) that very much helps Tina appear. The process of doing all the little things that it takes to transform, doing them to my satisfaction, and then finally taking that first step in heels to feel and see the result sets the tone.

It's not only others that we are trying to send feminine "clues", but we are trying to send them to ourselves to remind us constantly of our feminine status, aren't we? The feel of stockings, the walk in heels, the hair we don't normally have, the weight of breasts, possibly the tightness of a corset, and certainly the texture of our lipstick or gloss are all contant reminders of who we are. Catching a glimpse of ourselves in a window or mirror can be a startling reminder that we are not our masculine selves.

I'm not sure that it's the same for those here who are 24/7, but since I change back and for from masculine to feminine, all these self-reminding clues are a part of who Tina is.

:)

tina

[ReineD]

I'm not sure that it's the same for those here who are 24/7, but since I change back and for from masculine to feminine, all these self-reminding clues are a part of who Tina is.

That makes sense. I've read posts from the 24/7s that being femme is just normal to them. It doesn't bring the same euphoria that it does to a CD, since it doesn't have the same constant contrast between guy/girl modes.

[joank]

I remember that episode. I think I saw it on the first run as I was a Barney Miller fan.
I try to look good when walking out the do or not. Personal pride or just making up for lost (drab) time?

[msniki48]

When I leave the comfort of my own home, I want to put my best foot forward, be it in sneakers or stiletos. My wife has encouraged me from the very beginning, telling me from the outset that if I was going to do this, then I was going to do it right, correct clothing for the occasion, makeup properly applied, appropriarte demeanor and gestures, and so on. Most ladies I know would not think of leaving the house without paying attention to their grooming and applying at least minimal makeup.

Another line of thought is that it is a matter of personal pride... caring that my personal appearance is pleasing to those around me. I want what I present to the world to be as pleasing as possible. I would also be afraid that some of our genetic sisters could be offended if there was hair growing through my pantyhose or my makeup looked like I was a first year student at clown school.

Speaking for only myself, if our desire is to dress and present as ladies, then we should do so by giving it our very best effort.



Wonderfully stated....my thoughts put into great verbage.


hugs, msniki48

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Personally, I try to do the best I can given the poor quality of the raw materials I have to work with.

Hugs...Joni Mari