Crossdressing and dating women

[FireflyGG]

This is a spinny from the dating men thread. I wrote a response in there, thinking it should be a thread on its own and then figured I would just start it on my own.

There were a number of CDers who said they're lesbian crossdressers. So for all of you lesbian CDers. Instead of being a man's woman...what about being a woman's woman? Is that an attraction too? I'm just curious.

Being an openly bi woman, I love that I can date my man and then date his femme side. I am definitely sexually attracted to Melissa and what she brings to our relationship is pretty spectacular.

She's a sub, so I'm dom. Even when I dated women, I was always naturally the dominate one so this is a role that is easy to fall into. I love the idea of taking her out on a date, opening doors for her, putting my arm around her and her putting her hand on my thigh. Then of course what happens in the bedroom is private. I don't need to get into details of that, but it's a total role reversal.

Would you date a woman as your femme self?

[xdbiker]

with Out a second thought I would LOVE to do that Kisses Jerzie

[crusadergirl]

Thats a good question something i never really thought about. But i'm sure i would given the chance.

[RhondaLynn]

You know, Firefly, I think i like the sound of your proposition. Although RhondaLynn has always a dominant female with the SO, i have to admit that i'm not that great at the role. A relationship with a woman who could also enjoy and satisfy my submissive feminine needs & desires would be very interesting to experience. Hmmm... yes, i think i'd like that.

[DonnaLynn77]

Ummm.... Yeah!!

[Kathi Lake]

Oh yeah, totally! I am totally into girls - no matter how I dress. Guys are hairy and smelly and icky! Girls are smooth and sweet and shapely and, . . . I'd better stop there. :)

Kathi

[Vickie_CDTV]

Absolutely I would. In fact, that is the exact kind of relationship I want (but not hopeful I will ever personally find a GG who would want it.)

[DaisyG]

Kathi said it all; I cannot add a thing. Only to agree 100%.

Daisy

[Josey]

I agree with you all!

[tricia_uktv]

Surely we all know the answer to this? Its the person that matters, not the gender!

[SusanCACD]

This is the stuff my dreams are made of.

Susan

[Bettyann303]

I agree with Kathi as well. If you are not wearing perfume you are not a player.

[Miranda09]

Oh yea....dating a women while enfemme is so mich more plausable for me than dating a man. Tho I must admit that getting a little attention from men while dressed is also nice. :)

[Tiffanycd]

Hello all i have to agree with you all that would definitely be a dream coma true i can go on but i am not i am not sure if i can keep it clean enough LOL and i do not want to bore anyone LOL.

Tiffanycd
great post Firefly

[Jodi M]

I would totally love going out enfemme with a GG and hope that we would find lots more in common and interesting about each other.

[StarrOfDelite]

open to exploration. I haven't met any gender women who are really into transvestites, however, except for Dommes, who tend to scare rather than titillate me.

[kerilynn]

I don't think I could date another woman, But I have been thinking alot lately about seeing a guy to really see how far my fem side goes. Keri

[janelle]

No ands,ifs or buts, totally a woman's woman here.

[Dana]

Oh without a doubt!

[Sharon B.]

YES,
Know of any that are open to it.

[Daniela76]

Yeah, that's all I can think about.
I already got modded for TMI in the other dating thread for saying too much about what I'd like about it.

Women are so beautiful & soft & yummy!!
I've added myself on OkCupid & see that there are a few possibilities there. I would definitely be willing to be the girlfriend in the relationship.
I'd love to say, "I'm sorry, but I'm taken by her."

[Jason+]

Were I to find myself on the dating scene again I would absolutely date a woman as however much of a woman I actually am. I can take the lead when I have to and get the job done but if I didn't have to that would be okay too.

My only qualification would be that she not only tolerate/accept all of me but love all sides of me. And in the spirit of fairness she would know before the second date without the possibility of thinking it was a joke.

[Mirani]

In the workplace I am the "senior" partner ... not that I am dictatorial at all. We operate to a concensus where change occurs.

Everywhere else, since we "got it together" and am 24/7, my SO naturally "takes the lead. It is not so much as "Dom/Sub" as she is a natural leader in our coupling and I am a natural follower.

My SO lead me into 24/7, held my hand at difficult times and is the "head of the household". She is so good at it too. My wardrobe has her full influence and most times she picks out my outfits for work or special nights out.
And I LOVE IT!
We are often taken as a lesbian couple when we are out. We are quite touchy/feely, holding hands, arm in arm, snuggles and kisses.
I love being a woman's woman!

[Jean Ann S]

I think it would be great
with the right person
Someone who really cared about you
and had the strength to take the lead
and be there for you
to support and care for you
Someone you could trust to alwys have your
best interests and the good of the relationship as their focus
Someone you could really trust to give your self to

Jean Ann :daydreaming:

[Catina]

Would love meeting someone like you in real life. I am attracted to bi woman and would love to double the pleasure of a relationship as a man or as a woman. Not sure how to post this wish in something like Craigslist.org ....
Last halloween I went to a local nightclub dressed to the nines for a first time and , to my surprise, a man asked me to dance .... during the dance, two women (who were dancing together) hit on me with smiles and introductions ..... one of the girls grabbed my hand and twirled me under her arm ... It seemed that she was telling me that she was dom .... it felt good that she was leading .... the man got angry and left the floor but I couldn't resist the way these two women were attracted to me. Because these two thought I was another woman, it was out of my experience, I didn't really know what to do or say. The experience was fantastic ! If you were attracted to me in a similar situation, how would I let you know who I really was and invite a friendship? Hugs ;-)

[SweetCaroline]

At this point in my life, as a crossdresser, I don't think I could ever date a woman again who didn't know very early on about 'Caroline' if not, preferably, before the first date even. I'm just too out there, and my social life is very intertwined with my CD life. It would be next to impossible for me to hide.

Very recently, I did have a date for the first time 'as Caroline' with a woman who knew about me before hand and even met me for the first time as Caroline, and I'd have to say, I think it went off very well. It helped that the woman was accepting, and already a bit versed in the crossdressing community. I didn't really approach it any differently than any other date. It was mostly conversation and a some dancing. The way I was dressed did offer a lot of conversation points however. She commented on everything from my jewelry to my corset so that made it rather interesting.

So to answer the question. Yes. I would date a woman as my femme self. Indeed I already have, and I'd be more than happy to do it again. :D

[Barbara Dugan]

I love to be around women and feel comfortable with them but I never had any interest on dating them on either mode:hugs:

[AmandaM]

In my dreams!

[karennjcd]

I haven't been "out" in public, but I remain totally 100% attracted to GG's and would love the opportunity to share my interest with one, if ever I have the chance to be totally passable.

We can fantasize about it, but we know GG's are moody creatures and may have their reservations about it. I'm happy to read the posts of the GG's on this board who I am sure represent a minority of those who would be accepting of CD'ing and willing to be with a CD while dressed.

Karen :)

[suchacutie]

and at the moment (hah...for the last 37 years!) one woman in particular! Tina just spent the late afternoon and evening with that one woman. We made dinner together, watched a movie, sampled some wine, knitted and crochetted together, and generally had a wonderful evening chatting.

After 8 hours Tina said good night, took a shower, and the man of the house has returned to take the evening the rest of the way.

Yup...women are it for me!

tina (et al.!)

[Andy66]

What a great question, Firefly! But the answers are confusing me. The ladies here are wonderful, but whenever I spot a CD around town (in real life) they either are gay or don't appear interested, bordering on stuck-up. I'm no supermodel, but I'm not that bad, so what is up with my local CDs? :eek:

[Kathi Lake]

Anne, we're not all stuck up! The pretty ones are a bit at times (so I hear, anyway :)). Believe me, though, not all of us are. I'd like to think I'm pretty approachable, and definitely not gay. :)

Kathi

[Stormgirl]

I hope you don't mind me posting this.

Seeing as I'm a MTF now, I don't really have a choice as being my "femme" self. But yes I'd definitely date a woman as my femme self if we clicked.

But this is why I've been single for so long; I just haven't been able to find the one that will be accepting.

[2B Natasha]

Interesting question. Had to give this one some thought.

I don't think so. Not that I wouldn't, just that I have no ambition to dress en femme all the time. Call me a weekend Transvestite if you will.

That said. I did briefly date a women whom I met in drab mode. Things started to heat up and I told her about my femme side. She firstly claimed she had no interest in meeting Lisa, then that changed and we have gone out as two girlfriends. Had a great time. No sexual spark, but it was fun and we will do it again.

The funny thing about that situation is this. Prior to telling her about Lisa there was a small sexual spark and we acted upon it a couple of times prior to her learning about Lisa. Once I told her the relationship changed. The spark was gone from the bedroom. What replaced it was a girlfriend. As in a BFF girlfriend. Someone to talk to about girl stuff. Hair, clothes, shoes etc etc etc. So now I am left with a head scratcher. Will this happen again or was it relief to tell someone besides my trans girlfriends about Lisa? The next time I see someone, and I tell them will it change again? Will it stay the same? will it heat the whole dang thing up?

Long answer to an easy question. Mouth diarrhea I guess.

[prene]

Oh yeah, totally! I am totally into girls - no matter how I dress. Guys are hairy and smelly and icky! Girls are smooth and sweet and shapely and, . . . I'd better stop there. :)

Kathi

I agree totally with Kathi Lake.

[girlalex]

At first i'd love to have an accepting gg friend. if anything that would be the first step.

[Loni]

would love to date a woman as a woman,
does not matter how I am dressed, I am into women, just got to love them.
others have alreay said it all, so no need to try to type it here.

.

[Lara Smith]

Oh God, Yes, Yes, and Yes.

[Cary]

100% yes! This would be like having my cake and eating it to.

[Samantha_Smile]

100% yes! This would be like having my cake and eating it to.

Nail.
On.
Head.
:daydreaming:

[Danielle76]

Yeah. Hell yeah. I would LOVE to experience what it's like to have sex as a lesbian, and dating a girl while dressed up myself seems like the closest thing to...without getting a sex change, anyway. It would be weird for me to get used to, though. I am a pretty strong male, and having a girl know that I do that...I wonder if it would be hard for me to be as confident in my mannish side around her. Oh well, I'll probably never know.

[msniki48]

When my wife of 28 yrs passed away, i thought i'd never find another woman to be supportive and loving in a full relationship. I was wrong. I met and Married a lovely lady who, totally supports and encourages me to be niki,,, and yes, niki has her time in the boudoir also... ;)

it is the only way for me as a woman...yep i am lesbian


hugs,


msniki48

[Andy66]

Anne, we're not all stuck up! The pretty ones are a bit at times (so I hear, anyway :)). Believe me, though, not all of us are. I'd like to think I'm pretty approachable, and definitely not gay. :)

Kathi
Aw, Kathi :hugs: I didn't mean you. I think you're very nice, and pretty too. :)

[Spacey]

Oh yeah, totally! I am totally into girls - no matter how I dress. Guys are hairy and smelly and icky! Girls are smooth and sweet and shapely and, . . . I'd better stop there. :)

Kathi


Thank you Kathi. Enough said.;)

[ReineD]

Firefly, what a great thread! Thanks for posting it. The other thread had me wondering if the percentage of hetero TGs was dwindling! :)



I'm no supermodel, but I'm not that bad, so what is up with my local CDs? :eek:

Anne, it may have to do with their lack of confidence that you would be accepting and would look at them in a romantic light? I don't want to generalize, but even in this thread many CDs don't believe it possible to ever find an accepting GG. They might just be shy. Just a thought.


So now I am left with a head scratcher. Will this happen again or was it relief to tell someone besides my trans girlfriends about Lisa? The next time I see someone, and I tell them will it change again? Will it stay the same? will it heat the whole dang thing up?

I think it has to do with the strength of the GG's feelings for you when you tell her. Most relationships begin casually. You don't want to wait too long, but if you tell a GG before she has developed romantic feelings, it would be easy for her to switch from seeing you as a prospect to thinking of you as a gal pal. :2c:

[Joanie_Shakti]

Anne, it may have to do with their lack of confidence that you would be accepting and would look at them in a romantic light? I don't want to generalize, but even in this thread many CDs don't believe it possible to ever find an accepting GG. They might just be shy. Just a thought.


I'm 50 and haven't had much of a dating life, and even less of a sex life. A lot of it does have to do with shyness. I didn't date until after high school and never learned to "make the moves" properly. In the pickup world, I would be considered an "AFC," or average frustrated chump due to being a nice guy. I was very shy with the girls when I was younger. And all my life, I've been just a friend with the girls I've had strong feelings for, or again in the pickup world, a "d**kless boyfriend."

I've read some of the pickup stuff about where you have to be a jerk around women because nice guys finish last. I just can't do that. I don't know if a lot of it has to do with being raised mainly by my mom and grandmother as my dad was away alot due to being in the army, and when he was home, he would beat my brother and myself often for misbehavior. My sister never got the beatings and I wonder if that's one reason I started wishing I had been born female.

That said, I would never want gender reassignment surgery. I'm happy with the plumbing I was given, I just wish I had someone to share it with. I have no desire in dating men, and don't really have any desire in meeting other CDs either. I love women and would love to find a woman who accepted and encouraged Joanie and would even date her as well as my alter ego. I consider myself one of those lesbians trapped in a man's body.

I've never come out to anyone except here online and to a GG friend in Texas that I exchange email with. I have a GG friend in another state who I've had my longest female relationship with. Again, I'm just a "buddy" (I hate that word). She knows I shaved off my moustache, and shaved most of my body hair off next year, but I'm even afraid of telling her much more for the fear of losing her friendship, though I expect to lose her if she ever does find the guy she's looking for.

Repressed emotions and a half. I teared up in typing the above. If I don't think about it, I'm ok. But if I actually put the thoughts down about being a single, lonely CD at 50 with no prospects in horizon, it makes me sad. I think it's hard enough for people nowadays to find a SO, let alone having something out of the accepted norm to deal with.

[Andy66]

Joanie :hugs: You sound like a very nice person, and I for one am glad you don't want to be a jerk. Wow, you poured your heart out. Thank you. I hope you find your special someone soon.

[Dana]

Being a retired US Marine, and having been around and learned from some serious PUA (Pick Up Artist) from out of IL and NY? I've not got a problem with finding women in my male mode.

I know what to say, what to do, etc. I know all the "tricks" ~ palm reading, card shuffling, magic tricks, coin tricks, bar tricks (for free drinks) :drink: I've taken dancing lessons, had lasik, teeth whitening, the zodiac, taken sales lessons and worked in sales. (Meet and greet, qualify, feature and benefit, overcoming objections yada~yada)

To be honest? I don't know where I land on the spectrum? But I'm definitely drawn toward the feminine side. The whole side of that spectrum just draws me? Not to the extent that I want to be with another man?

But to the extent that I'm envious of women ~ and their freedom of expression?

They're freedom of choice?

And I say that with full kowledge that women are just as limited if not more so in such!

Both have limitations. And boundaries.

And there are stresses to being either or?

But women at least get to enjoy from time to time ~ every so often? Stepping outside of such?

I would like to enjoy that occasional opportunity.

I would like to enjoy being the girl for once, to be pampered, appreciated, wanted, needed, pursued, desired, romanced, seduced.

And I don't think that has anything to do with cross dressing per say?

I think that's a human need.

[laura.lapinski]

That would be a perfect situation for me.

[vivianann]

Oh yes, I would definately date a GG while enfemme. I would like a role reverse type of relationship, or a relationship where we are both girls, does not matter. I am dressed enfemme most of the time now so most of the GG's meet me as Vivian, I prefer it that way.

Anne I go to Vegas Quite often, and alot of the tg's there are afraid of their own shadows, they think I am too over the top because I like to go to mainstream places like the casino's, restaurants, malls, car shows, freemont street, the race track, dances at mainstream events, and so on. The next time I am in Vegas I would like for you to come along on my many adventures around the city. I just got back from Vegas 2 days ago, Vivian had alot of fun there, the Hard Rock Cafe on the strip is a fun place to go, was there 3 times in the 5 days there, also dined at the Harley Davidson Cafe on the strip, and danced at the Paris. I have alot of pics to show where I have been, but unfortunately they wont download, ( and yes the pics are small enough to download but will not ).


And Joanie, your story touched my heart, I know the loneliness you feel, it hurts like hell, I hope and pray you will find someone. and may God bless you my fellow sister.:hugs:

[linnea]

I would definitely date a woman as my fem self, specifically my wife.

[Josie]

I also would love to have a romantic relationship with a women. The one I'm most interested in is my wife, but it most likely will never happen.

[sherri52]

No question about it. yes, and would love every minute. I'll play either sub or dom role

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

This is a spinny from the dating men thread. I wrote a response in there, thinking it should be a thread on its own and then figured I would just start it on my own.

There were a number of CDers who said they're lesbian crossdressers. So for all of you lesbian CDers. Instead of being a man's woman...what about being a woman's woman? Is that an attraction too? I'm just curious.

Being an openly bi woman, I love that I can date my man and then date his femme side. I am definitely sexually attracted to Melissa and what she brings to our relationship is pretty spectacular.

She's a sub, so I'm dom. Even when I dated women, I was always naturally the dominate one so this is a role that is easy to fall into. I love the idea of taking her out on a date, opening doors for her, putting my arm around her and her putting her hand on my thigh. Then of course what happens in the bedroom is private. I don't need to get into details of that, but it's a total role reversal.

Would you date a woman as your femme self?

Holy moly, yes. I think you're my dream girl. O_O :love:

Still, it's hard to think that I'll ever find a woman who's as accepting of crossdressing as you are and still right for me in all the other...how does eHarmony put it?...dimensions of compatibility. :) Maybe one day though.

[missygatv]

Oh, darling... Do you have a twin sister? ;-)

[Byanca]

Yes I would, but they would have to be rather masculine(their mind), at least more then me and be comfortable about it. And want me to be more feminine(be myself). This is the same as with guys. If they fulfil these criteria, they're in for a lovely evening. I'd be gel in their hands.

[Erica2Sweet]

...whenever I spot a CD around town (in real life) they either are gay or don't appear interested, bordering on stuck-up. I'm no supermodel, but I'm not that bad, so what is up with my local CDs? :eek:

I suspect what you are sometimes experiencing is a defense mechanism in the CDer. When someone has it in his or her mind (or is conditioned to think) that they are bound to be rejected for whatever reason, they then switch to doing the rejecting as a knee-jerk reaction to the negative internal feelings.

I'm not saying this is the case in every circumstance, but it happens.

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

True. They probably are wanting to avoid any unpleasant confrontations, and thus they avoid any contact at all. Even if you do approach them in a pleasant way, you may get good reactions from some and just arouse suspicion from others. (Pile as much makeup on us as you want, we're still men somewhere under there, and that means most of us have been burned by women here and there, and we watch for manipulation.)

[SamanthaS]

I would love to go on the town as Samantha with a GG. ;)

[Elsa von Spielburg]

Absolutely. I look forwards to the day that I go out in public with my GF as a lesbian couple... and then head back home at the end of the night and... ahem. Yes.