Crossdressing Theory - Update

[Helana]

A few months ago I posted a little hypothesis of mine which suggested that many crossdressers were created by peer pressure exerted on us throughout our childhood to ditch all things feminine and celebrate macho behavior. Young boys face the prospect of entering into a harsh, violent and emotionless world of manhood. This rite of initiation confuses and scares young boys so that most will go through a temporary period of GID where they are effectively asked to lobotomize themselves by not just removing all traces of “femininity” but to openly mock girls to prove their manhood. Indeed being labeled as a “sissy” is considered a fate worse than death as it means instant ex-communication with all other boys plus verbal and physical abuse. Instead boys learn that playing tough and picking on others will win them respect.

While most boys accept this brain washing and emerge as macho men, a small minority reject the concept that they have to give up their feelings of affection, love, empathy, closeness to their mother, desire for nice clothes etc. Instead these boys hide their “feminine” feelings and pretend to go along with the initiation into manhood but in the meantime reject macho behavior and increasingly become alienated from other boys. However on the surface they appear to be having a normal male upbringing and they go unnoticed. These boys access their hidden feminine side through fantasies and crossdressing.

I recently came across some articles from Shere Hite, the famous psychologist and avid feminist who has undertaken extensive research into male upbringing and male attitudes towards women, Hite has her own theories and agenda about her research findings but as I read her papers it occurred to me that her research validated much of my own hypothesis, however Hite does not appear to realize that her data also sheds light on crossdressing.

These are some excerpts from her writings – first on the rite of initiation into manhood.




I would like to propose, based on my research, a new theory of ‘male nature’, one based more on social pressures than biology or hormones, one which shows how boys during their formative years are asked to completely change their identity. Specifically, my research has turned up a new theory of how boys develop at puberty, learning a lesson that affects them psychologically throughout the rest of their lives – a lesson that, since it is created by society, can be changed. This research, conducted over many years with thousands of men, brought out the fact that most boys are subjected to taunts or bullying (even being beaten up) by bigger boys or older male members of the family (‘Don’t be a sissy, grow up and be a man!’) – and that this causes boys to undergo a powerful process of self-questioning ending in basic identity change.

As children, most boys feel especially close to their mothers, often preferring to spend time with them than their fathers. However, according to my research, around puberty most boys feel terribly confused as they are pressured by the culture to 'make a choice', i.e., told they must reject her: 'Don't hang on to your mother's apron strings,' 'Don't be a sissy', 'Get out of the kitchen and hang out with the boys, don't tag along with your sister', and so on. Boys are expected to demonstrate their new 'tough identity' by ridiculing and distancing themselves from their mothers, especially in front of male friends, fathers and brothers.

The implications of this have gone unanalysed, in favor of believing that the change in behavior boys exhibit around the age of puberty is caused by 'hormones'. The pain of the taunting is laughed off, 'Oh, boys will be boys! Their hormones make them rambunctuous at that age.' When, however, many, many moving and sad stories emerged in my research, I began to realize their importance. These are cultural initiation rites, as 'primitive' (or more so) as any tribe in 'darkest Africa'. These initiation rites change the course of men's lives, and society. The society has created these rites because of its need to shape men's behavior in a certain direction, facilitating the social system.

As one of the boys put it, ''When the guys come over and my mother tries to tell me what television show I can watch, it's humiliating. 'Turn that off!', she shouts from the other room, when she hears us listening to it or heavy metal rock videos. I am so embarrassed. I yell back 'Shut up!' and turn it up even louder. Then the guys are really impressed -- 'I guess your mother can't tell YOU what to do!', the biggest one said to me, smiling. I felt accepted then, but it also upset me. I felt like a terrible son and feared my mother would hate me.'

Boys are taunted mercilessly by other boys at school with phrases like 'mamma's boy' (if they won't go along with the other boys), or 'Stop being a sissy, un-cool', 'Act like a man and stop being a turkey, ape-shit'. They learn that they have to make a choice: in order to enter the 'male' world -- to be respected by other males, find a place in the world, get a job, they have to put aside what is called 'feminine', 'gushy', 'childish' behavior, and 'grow up', 'act male' -- which means, be the opposite of 'feminine'. They often prove this by, in effect, rejecting their mother (or sister) in favor of a group of boys or men, siding with them, 'talking back to her', and so on.

Here Hite talks about the temporary period boys go through when they have to re-orientate themselves from a balanced, mixed gender into a masculine-only gender.





Though most boys are close to their mothers when young, at a certain stage, the pressures placed on them to ‘act like a man’: ‘don’t hang around the house with your mother and your sister’, ‘go out and play sports with the other boys’! become overwhelming. Many boys in this situation turn to their mothers for protection, or resort to staying at home; they are surprised when she too says, 'You can’t come home to mother anymore, now you have to go out and tell off the boys who are bothering you, or beat them up!’ Boys then, according to my data, are filled with doubt and spend on average a year or more questioning themselves about how they should adapt to the new situation. The problem is not only that they are supposed to ‘act tough’, but also cut off their relationship with their mother or ‘women, girls’ -- a boy is seen as a ‘sissy’ if his best friend is a girl, or if he ‘hangs around with girls all the time.’



Most boys accept their new social condition and start chasing after girls while others just pretend to be a macho guys and end up alone and alienated.



Joining the ‘world of the fathers’ is a frightening experience for many boys: most describe feeling alone and insecure, suddenly in a new, colder and more competitive world, a world they say over and over that their fathers did not explain to them – but later come to feel that conquering it can be the biggest adventure they undertake in life. What happens in private life? If a man falls in love with a woman, this usually forces him to re-examine his relationship with men – and his own idea of himself. This is more difficult if a man feels ‘real men don’t fall deeply in love!’ Thus most men in my research do not marry the women they most passionately love, often saying they are proud of this. Why? They feel they can better follow ‘the rules’ if they stay in control of their feelings. Other boys do not fall in love at all; their reaction to ‘male’ puberty pressures is to decide they are not ‘joiners’ (they feel they do not legitimately belong to the group of men, and are ‘faking’ fitting in), and decide to be ‘loners’, ‘independent’, close to neither men nor women.

Hite then intriguingly hints how this process sometimes creates split personalities and that men are increasingly questioning the whole concept of traditional macho behavior – which of course is a cornerstone of crossdressing. For us identity change literally means gender change




In the 90’s and still today, many men cope by living with split personalities: one for work and another for ‘private life’ and ‘love’. During the last two decades, many books on ‘personal growth’ (‘self-help’ for women and ‘business secrets’ for men) helped individuals think through issues of identity-change. Most men no longer want the ‘traditional manhood’ of the l980’s but a new way of life which they are inventing now, engaged in a momentous interior transformation that has as yet to go public.


Hite’s articles can be found at http://www.hite-research.com

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Helana,

It is a very interesting piece and very thought provoking. I do agree with elements of it and I think I'll have to read it a couple of times but I do see similarities in my own life. So thank you for posting this.

From my own observations when I spent some time with pre-school kindergarten groups and with parents of primary school kids, there is quite a difference between how boys are treated compared to girls. However equally there seemed to me to be quite a difference between how naturally boisterous boys were treated as against their quieter, softer peers.

The boys who were naturally tough and adventurous were quite forcefully disciplined and restrained - whereas the mothers of those boys who were quieter seemed more openly encouraging of some ‘boyish’ behaviour. I remember being at morning tea when a mother openly expressed fears that her quiet son may be gay. He was 7 or 8 at the time and preferred to play with my daughter or draw alone.

In my own case I was a quiet and shy child who preferred to play with the girls rather than the boys. My father intervened along the way and teased and warned me that I’d become a sissy – well ‘jinny’ actually. I then slowly dumped my girl friends - or maybe they dumped me? - and I moved to boys. I was quite unhappy with boys as I was decidedly unadventurous – and I spent much of my time alone. So I found a lot of truth in what Shere Hite says in that regard.

I guess it could be argued that my quiet and timid nature – was then associated by my authority figures – as girlish behaviour and therefore creating the seeds of a female persona and I have no doubt that played a part.

Nevertheless, I am reasonably sure, in my own mind, that I felt I should be a girl even before that – now whether I felt that because my friends were girls – or because I genuinely believed I was the wrong gender – I can’t honestly say. But I do believe I was quite stubborn in my belief and it was a deep seated belief even then. What I can say is that despite active discouragement this feminine persona continued and grew unabated – and by age 15 I was quite convinced I should be female. Again I found a lot of similarity with what Ms Hite describes eg.. Faking fitting in and deciding to be a loner.

However my main thoughts during puberty were about my changing body and how could I stop it. By now all the girls I knew as a child had developed and I was pretty frustrated and the only thing that gave me hope at the time was finding out about ‘sex change’. I also had to deal with my sexuality and I don’t think I had much inclination either way…but I convinced myself I was M2F heterosexual. So I had these conflicting feelings of gender vs sexuality.

I have no doubt that the behavioural pressures and social attitudes when I was a child played a part in my femininity I don’t think they were the determining factors.

Fiona xx

[Helana]

Thanks for your excellent feedback Fiona. I think many cds were fairly quiet and shy as kids, and we tended to associate this behaviour with girls, thus we may have felt there was a girlish nature to us otherwise why were we not as loud and adventurous as other boys. This would be a self-reinforcing belief. The quieter we were, the more girly we thought we were, so we followed the lead of girls by continuing to remain quiet and passive.

There is no need to actually wear feminine clothing to feel girlish, any situation where you were rejected by other boys can push a young mind into the "girls camp". For example when it snowed the boys at my school would create long slides. However my mum always made me wear wellington boots when there was snow on the ground and I was banned from the slides by the other boys as the grips on the boots would ruin the surface. Instead I had to stand aside, feeling rejected, watching the other boys have fun - just as the girls were doing watching the boys.

My other comment would be that peer pressure can start fairly early, a long, long time before puberty especailly if there is an authoritian father or older brother. Even mothers and older sisters will often reinforce the idea of not behaving like a sissy and acting like a man! How many mothers have told their children that boys dont cry?

When boys and girls begin school at 4-5 years old, they are happy to hold hands but by 6-7 years old boys are no longer interested in associating themselves with girls. So peer pressure starts in the early school years and increases in intensity until puberty.

[Tristen Cox]

Yep peer pressures in school and out growing up had a lot of impact on me(not totally from my environment though) Very interesting stuff you present:)

Nice to see you posting again Helana :hugs:

[Priscilla1018]

Very good to see you again Helena.Yes,definately peer pressure,lack of ability in sports until quite late in life and then only individual sports.a loner,shy,quiet,would rather read a good book than hang out with the guys.I can see how all of this contributed to my being a CD.Excellant thread,you made me think about things I never really thought about.

[susandrea]

That's an interesting take on it, but completely different than what I've been exploring for the past year.

What I've observed is far more physiologically based, and explains why more feminized men are so similar regardless of ethnic or social background, or even the passage of history, with all it's different social expectations and demands. This physiological reasearch "explains" gay behavior, as well as anything along the lines of transgender, including crossdressing.

What has been discovered (and it was basically discovered when the brains of gay men were dissected) is that sexuality is influenced by two glands in the brain, one that's bean shaped (determines physical appearance) and one that is stem-shaped (determines emotional sexuality).

Any variation in size affects a person's sexuality. A large bean shape, whether one is male or female, usually will mean a person is very masculine looking. Think Hulk Hogan and Margaret Thatcher. A smaller bean will mean a more feminine appearence. Think RuPaul and Marilyn Monroe. The bean-shaped glands in very gay acting men (very effeminent) were sometimes extremely small or non-existent!

Now the stem-shaped gland that determines emotional sexuality goes this way. A longer stem and you were very emotionally "male". Think Hulk Hogan again, and yeah, Margaret Thatcher. If the stem is shorter, you're back to RuPaul and Marilyn Monroe. (If Marilyn Monroe had a much bigger bean-shaped gland, she'd look more like Margaret Thatcher, and if her stem-shaped gland were longer she'd have acted more like her, too. I know this is very generalized, but this is a bit difficult to articulate.)

The size of the bean-shaped gland and the length of the stem-shaped gland do not always (obviously) match the genetic disposition of a person (why a masculine looking man can feel like a woman inside, or a feminine looking woman can be very masculine acting). The tiniest change in size, nearly immeasurable, has an affect on the body and the mind, and of course the regulation of hormones. That also explains why there is such a huge range of combinations concerning sexuality. (This is NOT about deviant behaviour, although rapists, serial killers, and child molestors are often found to have damaged brains, but that is another story).

Of course, social pressures, family experiences, strength of will, hormone imbalances (caused by toxins or illness, ect.) and many other aspects of a person's experiences all combine to form one's sexuality, and all of it can change during one's lifetime.

This is fairly new research and has a long way to go. Interestingly, not everyone in the gay movement is happy about this theory because they're afraid that the decision to be gay will be considered a symptom of a physical "defect" that can be "fixed". Others-- I think most others (especially transsexuals), welcome this idea because it explains that their sexuality is hard-wired in the brain and therefore a part of them that should be supported, and adds to the arguement that their lifestyle is not a choice, and why they KNEW at a very young age, before social pressures and puberty had a chance to kick in.

I'm sure the research has a long way to go, but at least it's happening! That has got to be a good thing. The more that is known and chalked up to hard science the better, don't you think?

There is definitly a connection between social behavior and how children are raised, but I'm convinced there is a great deal more to it than that.

[jenniferluv]

Very interesting..I see many similarities with my own journey thru this tumbleweed world of cding. i never identified with the macho image and i did escape into my own little world where everyone was a nice person. i tended to attrct the downtrodden and outcasts to me---not that i wanted it that way it just happened. but when i dressed up ---that was the most wonderful thing i had ever felt. i played dress up and house and all the "little girl" things by myself - and felt perfectly natural doing so. Yes, I too want to re-read this thread several times...it seems so damned familiar

[Melissa A.]

I think Helana's and Ms. Hite's opinions have validity, and societal pressures and how we react to them as youngsters will almost certainly affect our later lives. But I am also convinced there is a physiological component, too. I always have been. I think Helana's ideas(as well as Ms. Hite's) and the way we are born come together to form a complex result. I have seen Susandrea's contribution before, somewhere else, and it does make sense to me.

I can remember thoughts and feelings of being different, gender-wise, before I ever went off to school or had an extensive social circle outside my family, at age 4 or earlier. I can remember clearly thinking about "being a girl". Where did this come from? I don't know. I also had sexual feelings toward girls at a very early age. I was overwhelmingly awed by them and in a sense, worshiped them, from my first day in kindergarten.

As time went on, I went through alot of normal experiences, with some differences. I found at an early age that I was somewhat gifted, athletically, especially for a small boy. I loved playing sports with the other boys, and that other people saw (girls included) that I was good. On the other hand, I never learned to be a tough guy- Everyone knew I was not a fighter. And I always felt anger at people who would pick on others. And fear that they would do it to me. I just never understood violence or macho posturing, and I think alot of that comes from my very open minded parents.

In grade school, I pretended to hate girls, just like all the other boys, but secretly adored them. Sometimes I would call one just to chat, or go over to one's house after school, and suffer cruel teasing if the other boys found out.

Under all this, crossdressing, and the desire to be one of the girls was a constant.

I'm not one who cares, at this point, about the "why" of crossdressing. But I must admit that this is interesting. I would love to read more and do more thinking about it. Just not TOO much!

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[joni-alice]

[QUOTE=susandrea]Of course, social pressures, family experiences, strength of will, hormone imbalances (caused by toxins or illness, ect.) and many other aspects of a person's experiences all combine to form one's sexuality, and all of it can change during one's lifetime.

Out of all the words on this page, this is the only thing that makes sense to me.

[Helana]

There is definitly a connection between social behavior and how children are raised, but I'm convinced there is a great deal more to it than that.

I agree. Even if you accept my hypothesis is 100% correct, it answers the question how CDers are created but does not answer the question why some and not others. What makes us different? Undoubtedly our individual genetic make-up is the answer. Some are born with a greater disposition to gender dysphoria than normal.

It appears that in most cases having this disposition by itself does not mean you will be a CDer but rather environmental factors also need to be present to "complete the circuit". This is why gender dysphoria appears at different ages among us but typically in later childhood due to peer pressure.

Also a few CDers only discover this aspect of themselves in their 30s, 40s, 50s and usually by accident. In those cases I would suggest their circuit was never completed during their childhood but the potential was always there waiting for the right circumstances to emerge.

[Helana]

Very good to see you again Helena.Yes,definately peer pressure,lack of ability in sports until quite late in life and then only individual sports.a loner,shy,quiet,would rather read a good book than hang out with the guys.I can see how all of this contributed to my being a CD.Excellant thread,you made me think about things I never really thought about.

Another thing about shyness. If you were a little reserved as a child then you would have not have been as involved in male team play, you would have felt that you were a bit of an outsider and would believe there was something different about you. People who are loners have more time to think to themsleves and develop independent thoughts. This means that loners are more likely to reject peer presure and in our case reject the macho stereotype. A degree of shyness and gender dsyphoria seem to go hand in hand.

BTW when I say loners I do not mean you had no friends at all but rather you had a smaller band of friends and were more choosy in whom you called a friend.

[FionaAlexis]

Helana,

The theory fits for those of us who were quiet, shy, passive, undventurous children but I have read about or corresponded with TGs who do not seem fit that profile. Roberta Cowell, the first TS to have GRS, was fairly good at sports including rugby and seemingly quite 'boyish' at school. As Robert he went on to be Spitfire pilot and war hero.

It just seems that true gender is very deeply planted in the psyche and surfaces irrespective of upbringing and social or environmental 'programming'.
The David Reimer case, also suggests that gender can't be manipulated by external influences.

Fiona xx

[Sweet Jeanette]

Hypothesis? ---How, and what creates CDs? ---Whats it coming to? :eek: ---Now just wait a minute! -I have read some of what Helana has written, and most, if not all of it makes sense to this Redneck CDer! ---(Yes, I have heard that most rednecks do not have much in the brainpan, -or indeed, much of a brainpan at all!)---BUT: WHY, ---the "diagnosing" of us?---To WHAT end, doe's this get us to?---Why can't we be, who we are, and enjoy it? ---To be phycoanyalized, and to be broken down into our component parts, as to what and why we are, --I believe, would lie the path to Madness! ---A path I don't want to travel!!! ---I was NOT your typical "pussy" kid when I grew up. I was a "kickass " kid!-----I was "Kickass" in the NAVY too, -----and I am "Kickass" now!---Now, ---tell me; ---Why, am I a CD?---I can tell you!---Because that is the----"Inside Me"!---and, thats IT!---Period!-----Now, YOU, HELANA, please enlighten me, and tell me why I am a CD!---Lets Hear it!---------PS;---I am 56 years old.

[Rachel Ann]

Interesting. I have shied away from Shere Hite because I tend to think of her as a "man basher". However Susan Faludi surprised me with her book "Stiffed" so perhaps I should bring myself up to date on Hite, too.

I'm a little unusual in that I didn't become consciously aware of my inner girl until I was about 30 (I am now 60). I only started to “flower” a couple of years ago, thanks largely to the Internet and new understanding of gender. Before then I just thought that I was a pervert, although this never bothered me much.

As a child, I don't recall being averse to playing with the boys, but I was shy and a "weenie", and was often left out of things and never was good at sports. There was an incident when I was about 5 when I apparently alarmed my parents by playing with paper dolls, but the matter passed.

In elementary school, I just accepted bullies as a fact of a boy's life. Either learn to fight or run like hell. Learning to "take your beating like a man" was a rite of passage for some. I do recall being friendly with some of the girls on a kid level, but this wasn't totally unheard of after about age 8. Some of the boys were forever trashing the girls but not all the boys followed their lead.

In high school I wasn't a huge success with the girls but I did have girlfriends like all the other boys. I was still a "weenie". (I refuse to use the word n**d, which was usually a prelude to a beating.) My main problem upon entering manhood was the belief that if you weren't some sort of Casanova, you were "queer". Call it the James Bond Myth.

As a young adult I had the usual collection of prejudices about men, women and family garnered from the 1950s, but I was married to a very assertive woman who soon "straightened me out" about that.

According to Jung, everybody is born TG but most have that hammered out of them at a very early age. I still believe that we just are what we are (it’s an internal thing). But, some of us live under more or less pressure to repress that than others. So, social conditioning can change our behavior but not our truth.

I do think that many parents obsess too much over whether having a TG, gay or other “nonstandard” child will reflect poorly on them as a parent. This is not concern for the child at all.

I'm not sure what my point is here other than that we all seem to have our lives unfold in different ways, but we all seem to end up in the same place. :)

[Helana]

Fiona

I never thought my hypothesis would cover everyone, I was just looking for something that covered the majority. As for the points you raised I don't see how they contradict my hypothesis.

We all know that most of us hide our TG feelings and pretend to fit in even if we dont necessarily feel that way. Thus it is completely normal to play sports even tough ones like rugby (and girls can like tough sports). Also it is common for males to try to resist their TG nature as they feel guilty and ashamed (perhaps sinful). Many TGs and gays enter macho professions like the military hoping this will help them overcome their nature.

You must also consider timing. Until very recently there was little information, understanding and support for TG issues, so for those of us over say 20 years of age, we come from a period of isolation and missunderstanding where the only real option we had was to pretend to fit in and do just that. Just because somebody appears to be "all male" does not mean he actually is. The older the TG person, the more likely it is that he fitted in. And part of fitting is to appear confident, bossy etc as these are male behavioural patterns.

On a personal note, I am the general manager of my company, I boss people around every day, I appear very confident and engage in (and enjoy) many male pursuits but I am also highly TG. But I also fit into my hypothesis (hardly surprisingly!)

As for David Reimer, this is a one-off case and so cannot be used to show anything. No conclusions can be made because we have no information as to why he behaved the way he did. For example maybe somebody told him when he was young that he was in fact a boy and this is the reason why he rejected his upbringing as a girl. Trying to derive conclusions from a single case is extremely dangerous and most likely will be wrong. There are other examples of boys brought up as girls who do not rebel against their gender upbringing. But as these cases are rare it is prudent not to infer anything from them.

I came up with my hypothesis by reading hundreds of personal life stories over many years on the internet and observing some common threads among them. It does not mean I am right though, just that it does fit many but not all.

[Helana]

Dear Hot Lust Walking

If you are a kick ass TG then remind me not to become your neighbour :p

As for dissecting, am I just eternally curious. I love finding out who and what we are. Not just TG but the human species as a whole. The recent discoveries in tracing the human gene pool back to waves of migrations out of Africa keep me riveted on the edge of my seat for hours on end! This stuff does show that we truly are all brothers and sisters.....even if I am much prettier than you :D

You are right, at the end of the day we are what we are and we should be happy with that. I know I am. :)

Now I have another theory I know you want to hear about..........

[Rachel Ann]

I never thought my hypothesis would cover everyone, I was just looking for something that covered the majority. As for the points you raised I don't see how they contradict my hypothesis.
Helana, I applaud your intellectual honesty, especially for calling this a hypothesis.

You have completed the first step of the Scientific Method as derived from the teachings of Anaxagoras. The second step is to devise an experiment or test to prove or disprove your hypothesis.

I'm not sure what to suggest but you are a highly intelligent person and I'm sure that you will think of something!

:thumbsup:

[joni-alice]

"Don't analyze, utilize"

[eleventhdr]

This is it exactly. But ti took me ever so long to come to the realization that this is just what does happen to boys. It happend to me I was tauhgt to act tough and all of that crap and when thinking and lokking back at it now this is not what i wanted. Because i can recall a before time when i was oh so very young and was looking at girls and wondering what they were really like and just perhaps really wanting even at that tender age to be one of them instead they were a real mystery to and egnima to me. they were so very complety difffernt and perhaps even better then me in thi male body that i was not even supppose to ahve and be this time. when i was in and at this stage i was still very much aware that i was and had been here just shortly before in another lifetime and i was male in that lifetime as well thus and o was the realization that something was wrong and i was not suppose to be here in this new male body yet again. But then just another short time later i was exposed to the whole male stuff and was carefully retaught that you had to aaccept that you were stuck in the maleness and had just better accept it and move on and abandon all of the feelings and emotions that you so did want to be able to really feel and accept as real. And so after then another very long time or at least ti did seem that way i had to fight my way back and realizie once again that there was a femimne me inside and she wanted oh so much to come out and just be. And even now i still am always feeling this just awful stuff to still be this male side of myself just because i was born in this male body and i'm really really hating the whold thing now. I just want to escape and become who i really was supppose to be from the start Suzy Ann!. Oh well!. Suzy!.

[FionaAlexis]

As for David Reimer, this is a one-off case and so cannot be used to show anything. No conclusions can be made because we have no information as to why he behaved the way he did. For example maybe somebody told him when he was young that he was in fact a boy and this is the reason why he rejected his upbringing as a girl. Trying to derive conclusions from a single case is extremely dangerous and most likely will be wrong. There are other examples of boys brought up as girls who do not rebel against their gender upbringing. But as these cases are rare it is prudent not to infer anything from them.


I accept that it is a one-off case and maybe? we can't draw any conclusions - except perhaps that people, particularly those intersexed, shouldn't be shoehorned into one gender or another - simply to match some artificially created physical appearance.

Also we do have David's own story in which, from memory, he describes quite vividly the moment when his true gender is revealed to him and, from that point on, he reverts to being male. There was no 'oh well I'll continue on as I am for a while'. His description of his feelings prior to that are very similar those a transgender feels - not fitting in, disorientation, frustration, more affinity with the activities of the 'opposite gender' etc.

I'm sure that for those with gender dysphoria all of the family, environmental and social factors came into play in re-enforcing the feelings of being the wrong gender. Just not convinced that their GD was conceived from those factors.

Fiona xx

[susandrea]

I agree. Even if you accept my hypothesis is 100% correct, it answers the question how CDers are created but does not answer the question why some and not others. What makes us different? Undoubtedly our individual genetic make-up is the answer. Some are born with a greater disposition to gender dysphoria than normal.

Some people's brains are hard-wired to be feminine, regardless of whether they're born male or female.

The question of "why some and not others" is dependent on just how strongly their own minds tell them the "truth", how it effects their strength of will (for or against), and how they filter those feelings through their own personal circumstances and social pressures.

People have been born with gender dysphoria all throughout history and in all ethnic and social backgrounds. In some cases they have more room to explore their feelings. (Take 17th century France, high social station=makeup, wigs, silks, ect., and a more cultured, feminized male as the ideal and contrast it to a Viking crossing the ocean to explore new worlds=you spend every second trying to stay alive. Who would have time to think of deeply rooted gender differences then? But I bet it still happened on occasion.)

Today, in the West, men usually have the time and some privacy to explore their own unique take on sexuality and make complex decisions about how they want to express themselves. Still a long way to go as far as freedom is concerned (or rather demanded freedoms along the lines of bra burning and civil rights marches), but we as a society are seeing far more examples of expression than we did even 30 years ago, and I believe that in the near future we'll see even more.

[Sweet Jeanette]

Dear Hot Lust Walking

If you are a kick ass TG then remind me not to become your neighbour :p

As for dissecting, am I just eternally curious. I love finding out who and what we are. Not just TG but the human species as a whole. The recent discoveries in tracing the human gene pool back to waves of migrations out of Africa keep me riveted on the edge of my seat for hours on end! This stuff does show that we truly are all brothers and sisters.....even if I am much prettier than you :D

You are right, at the end of the day we are what we are and we should be happy with that. I know I am. :)

Now I have another theory I know you want to hear about..........

Dear Helana, I did not mean to infer that I was a "kick ass" CD. -I am not.---I was just brought up that way, throughout my life, as a male. -I carried it through the service, and all through civilian life. It is just the way I am in ---I hate to say this: -"male mode"- at work. I have to be. To show anything else would invite "being hung by your male parts until you dried out!!!"---I live in Redneck land, remember!---But at home, I am ---"Jeanette". -I am all different. I am a woman, feeling, loving, and totally supported by my wife. I can be who I really want to be.---I am,--Delicate! As for "living by me", -don't worry about that!--You probably could not take it. --On my block, we got the Gay couple on one side of the street, and on the other side of the street, we got the "Gay Haters"!---We also have the drug dealers up the street, -- and the Gang boys that roam the streets and think they "own the neighborhood". --Ha!-Thats a laugh!--They don't screw with me though. They have seen my wife, with her Double-barrel!---We don't take any s-it! ---She is my "Backup".---And, in the middle of all this, is this one CDer!---Me!---No!---You would not want to live here.---But this is my home! ---(I forgot to mention all the illegal aliens that live in this neighborhood too!)---HA!---I can understand your curiousity though, about us, and the "Human condition", --and our roots. --To me, this is cool. I take it, that this is your hobby. ---Of course, -we are all brothers and sisters!---No doubt in my mind!---And, as far as "pretty" is concerned; --If your avatar IS the REAL you, then I will have to bow to you, and say that you ARE much prettier than I. ---You don't have a beard, like I do!!! :D Ok. ---What is this other theory that you know you want me to hear about?

[Helana]

People have been born with gender dysphoria all throughout history and in all ethnic and social backgrounds. In some cases they have more room to explore their feelings. (Take 17th century France, high social station=makeup, wigs, silks, ect., and a more cultured, feminized male as the ideal and contrast it to a Viking crossing the ocean to explore new worlds=you spend every second trying to stay alive. Who would have time to think of deeply rooted gender differences then? But I bet it still happened on occasion.)



One interesting note is the complete lack of information on crossdressing in history. If we assume that circa 5% of today's males are cders to some extent, we would have expected to see many references throughout history to cd men but we don't. As you mentioned this is most probably because most people were living hand to mouth and had no time to consider and develop such issues. Also most people wore rags - smocks which often covered the whole bosy so there was little diffence between gender clothing and certainly little fashion style.

As for the fancy gentlemen of the 17th century, remember that things like stockings and heels, wigs and powdered faces all began as male beauty tricks and only much later did they become exclusively female. These gentlemen were not feminizing themselves but were making themselves beautiful, which was considered quite normal.

In fact when you think about it men have always been happy to beautify themselves in all cultures throughout history. Which make the last 200 odd years of Western culture an abomination where men have been forced to be drab and only women could beautify themselves. We are actually living in unusual times where men are unnaturally conditioned not be consider themselves beautiful and to openly express this inner feeling. The 18th - 20th centuries have got a lot to answer for as they perverted the way males look and behave by exaggerating the gender divide to the point of exclusion.

I think the more stylized female beauty images become, the more men will desire them and want to copy them but because of our culture of drabness, homophobia and macho peer pressure men have been forbidden to express this natural desire. I think today's culture has probably created more crossdressers than at any other point in human history.

The bright spot on the horizon is that slowly but surely the culture of drabness and machoness is being eroded. In the not too distant future it will become normal again for society to accept men beautifying themselves and expressing "feminine" emotions without derision. When that day arrives we will have regained a natural balance in gender identity and cders as a distinct group will largely disappear.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

I never went through that male-orientation crap. My normal development was derailed by an inborn social anxiety disorder.
Crossdressing was the result of having a strong affinity for but lack of contact with a feminine role model or partner.

Nice theory, though.

[Helana]

Ibuki

What do you mean by social anxiety disorder - are you referring to shyness? lack of social interaction skills? or something like that. I am interested to learn more if you don't mind expanding on your own background.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

A quick Altavista searches resolves this site:

http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html#whatis1

Oh look. This paragraph describes me to a T, as do the others.

"Another young man wants to go to parties and other social events---indeed, he is very, very lonely---but he never goes anywhere because he's very nervous about meeting new people. Too many people will be there and crowds only make things worse for him. The thought of meeting new people scares him---will he know what to say? Will they stare at him and make him feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him outright? Even if they seem nice, they're sure to notice his frozen look and his inability to fully smile. They'll sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won't like him --- there's just no way to win --- "I'm always going to be an outcast," he predicts. And he spends the night alone, at home, watching television again. He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only place he does feel completely comfortable. He hasn't gone anywhere else in twelve years."

I'm getting over it though.

I also have Asperger's Syndrome, if you want to throw that into the mix, further complicating things.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

We are actually living in unusual times where men are unnaturally conditioned not be consider themselves beautiful and to openly express this inner feeling. The 18th - 20th centuries have got a lot to answer for as they perverted the way males look and behave by exaggerating the gender divide to the point of exclusion.

It will be interesting to see how the metrosexual movement will affect CDing. There are some CDs who seem mostly interested in doing it for the sensual/decorative aspects of female clothing and I wonder if the ability to dress more colorfully in nicer-feeling fabrics en homme might satisfy their needs.

For most of us, I suspect it's a combination of drivers (both biological and social), so simply being able to dress nicer won't be enough. I'm a bit of a metrosexual myself, and while doing that has satified certain needs, it hasn't stopped me from CDing. Actually, I've enjoyed applying some of the fashion sense I learned en femme to my boyself.

[kirsti]

Society at large is to blame for the non-acceptance of transgenders.
It is A transistion that takes place durring evolution,just like each of our own evolution,we finally reach our matuerity when weve acheived the comfort stage of our own personal standards.
While undoubtedly peer preesure definantly has a certain amount of influences on us durring the tender years.
Its clearly apparent that it is a combination of all those influences that make the final compilation.
While some bullies are taught to assert authority with masculinity,they may indeed become fem in rebellion,but they also may become authoritive,and abusive to not only their own sex,but to any opposite sex.
I do not beleive their is any significant link to male dominancy link to creating female qualities of those being supressed by others.
The question of why?
is one that may never truelly ever be answered,because studies are done on a collective whole basis,of preferances,and feelings rather than actuall individual circumstances.
Its clear to analyse a person is very difficult,because first the person being studied must be totally honest,even with their most cherished emotions.
Another handicap is that these emotions are difficult to decipre from person to person.
While number crunching could be helpful in determining certain factors,such as a particular rating of an emotion,each individual may use a differant criteria to acheive the comfortable number that their willing to express what that emotion as being is.
This makes it difficult because their is no known standard of defining,nor insureing the criteria is met effectively to determine any specific answer that can be analised togeather with other individuals.
Another problem is that these emotions have taken a lifetime to acquire.
At least to the point of when their curiosity begain.
And under what conditions each emotion had been born,suppressed,etc.
The closest ive been able to determine is that an absence of some element has more to do with the outcome of a transgender.
Never the less I love to read theories,and ideas,because they are always informative and intresting.
And I thank you for sharing this with us,great work!

[Rainbow6562005]

Thanks, Helana, for posting a view that makes total sense to me. :)

I'd like to add to promote more thinking on this topic and others that the conditioning of boys to be "manly" and homophobia are by-products of sexism, endemic around the world.

Rainbow