Babies Are Not Us :(

[SuzanneBender]

I must give credit where credit is due. RenieD posts some of the most thought provoking comments on this site. Her GG perspective in contrast to our TG ways always makes me think, often makes me smile and sometimes even causes a tear to come to my eye.

She posted this in an earlier thread:
There was only one time in my life I felt as you describe though, the first time I got pregnant. It seemed miraculous to me that my body could create life.

I was thinking about watching the Mom on the plane last week wrestling as only a mother could with her cute little girl and little boy. I think about all of the times that I have watched mothers look into their baby’s eyes and connect in a way that only a mother can connect. I am a father and have a wonderful relationship with my children. I consider myself very nurturing, but I can never even aspire to the level of nurturing that my wife shows our children. I must admit I am envious. I wish I could know the joy of the miracle of a life growing within you and the connection with the child that comes with that. I know it will never happen and that I shouldn't lament things that will never happen. I also know that pregnancy and motherhood are far from being all peaches and cream, but if I could I would do it tomorrow! Would you?

[rocketscientist]

With new medical advances,it MIGHT someday be possible. I think that the miracle of giving birth is indeed a special thing and one could only know having experienced it. Would I want to do it? If the circumstances were right, yes I would. Hugs, Tonya:hugs:

[PetiteDuality]

This is something that I think mankind should never attempt to experiment with.

Just my humble opinion...

[Nicole Erin]

I can already see how this is going to play out so here is my response -
I would not, I am not really nurturing.

So now let us speculate:
Other's various responses -

"Erin, you are not a real tranny if you don't love kids"

"I pass and live my life as a woman"

QUOTE - blah blah blah
"I could not have said it better, I agree"

My tyrant ex husband was hiding his secret and lied for years

And just what do YOU know about it...?

There is a recessive gene that lives in the verticies of the pythagorean phynelketonurs that cause oblongocity that may be linked to nurturing.

Funny my wife and I were having this same conversation.

[kellycan27]

I would enjoy having children one day, but I have no illusions about actually birthing them from within. Had I been born a GG.. that would be a different story.
Nicole Your posts always cheer me up.... upon reading them I always count my blessings.:heehee:

Kelly

[sandra-leigh]

So now let us speculate:
Other's various responses - [...]

There is a recessive gene that lives in the verticies of the pythagorean phynelketonurs that cause oblongocity that may be linked to nurturing.



:heehee: Except that I would have included a citation (http://www.seattlepi.com/national/125668_medi09.html) :D


(I'm not especially nurturing either. "Whadday mean you can't tie your shoes? Didn't you Google it?!?")

[SuzanneBender]

I can already see how this is going to play out so here is my response -
I would not, I am not really nurturing.

So now let us speculate:
Other's various responses -

"Erin, you are not a real tranny if you don't love kids"

"I pass and live my life as a woman"

QUOTE - blah blah blah
"I could not have said it better, I agree"

My tyrant ex husband was hiding his secret and lied for years

And just what do YOU know about it...?

There is a recessive gene that lives in the verticies of the pythagorean phynelketonurs that cause oblongocity that may be linked to nurturing.

Funny my wife and I were having this same conversation.

Nicole you took all the fun out of this thread. I will never tell you what book I am reading because I am sure that you will tell me how it ends.

Ohhh and you are not a real trannys unless you love kids. See you started a self fulfilling prophecy.


I would enjoy having children one day, but I have no illusions about actually birthing them from within. Had I been born a GG.. that would be a different story.
Nicole Your posts always cheer me up.... upon reading them I always count my blessings.

Kelly

Kelly I am sure you will be a fabulous mom one day. I know that birthing them from within isn't going to happen, but suspend reality a minute. If you could get pregnant would you want to?

[kellycan27]

Yes...In a heartbeat!

[linnea]

Suzanne, my answer is an unequivocal YES! I really appreciated reading your thoughts about this.

[Lorileah]

nope. I didn't want any as a male, not gonna say I would as female. Nope. In fact when asked if I would have children I always ask, depends on how they are prepared. I like other peoples children, sorta like I like Disneyland. It is fun for awhile but I don't want to live there

[Daniela76]

OMG yes!!
I definitely would want to bear children as a woman if it was possible.
I want kids pretty bad anyways. If I did decide to transition, I would make sure & have sperm saved for a wife to become pregnant with.

[ReineD]

It's interesting you brought this up, Suzanne.

There have been similar threads in the past.

2007 (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66410): most responses were NO.

2009 (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111189&highlight=pregnant): a lot more yesses.

Times, they are a changin'.

[2B Natasha]

Nope. And I can parent circles around my childs mother. I can nurture circles around her if you prefer to look at it that way. I can connect in ways she'll never know or understand, and it has nothing to do with be a part time women.

[Lady Davida]

If I could be a Real Woman I'd love to be pregnant. My Wife always knew when our baby was moving inside of her and I could see it and feel it when I put my hand on her belly. As a medical professional I have witnessed births. Amazing

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

My Wife unfortunetly couldn't have children and I guess we weren't met to have children. I found out the Sunday before last Thanksgiving that I have a 21 year old duaghter from a woman I was with back in the late 80's(its a long story). If I was a GG I think I probably would like to bear children. I wish my Wife and I could've have had children because I feel that I missed out on alot. I know we could've adopted but back when we were in our late 20's and through our 30's, we liked to go out alot and come and go as we please and hang out till late night which I look back on and now regret. I have to live with it but I have my little Nieces and Nephews and I'm part of their lives



Felicity:)

[docrobbysherry]

Some guy said, " I have no interest in kids at all!" ( That was me!):o
His friend said, "Yeah? When u have your OWN! You'll feel differently!" ( He was TOO RITE, in my case, at least!):eek:

An old girlfriend moved in with her toddler. This soon changed my mind about kids. "Tried", and HAD one of my own with her after we were married!:D

My daughter's a blast! And, the "trying" was the best times of our now defunct marriage!:heehee:

[Nicole Erin]

Nicole you took all the fun out of this thread. I will never tell you what book I am reading because I am sure that you will tell me how it ends.

Yeah like I know how to read. :brolleyes:

For real tho, much like the "would you have grown up female?" speculation, I imagine for some people, TG or not, the whole "nurturing a child" thing is more of a fantasy.

The reality is - girls probably had it harder growing up and raising kids is not a real picnic. Gets easier when they grow up a bit but small children are very demanding.

[carolinoakland]

So, would I carry children to have them if I could? Yes, I would. Also, once she was weened I wound up doing the majority of the child rearing since I worked three nights a week and her mom worked five days a week. I loved every minute of that time with my daughter, I understand a woman feeling trapped by the childs breast feeding, but getting to bond with my daughter was invaluable later in out relationship. And I wound up becoming a single parent when her mom passed away...I have an evil sence of humor... I told my daughter that one of the good things about me transitioning is that I'd finally be able to give her that new mom she'd been asking me for. Carol,

[TerryTerri]

I feel (and think) that, the dad!, can be as nurturing as the mom. I'm a dad of 3 kids. A 12 year old girl (from 1 marriage) and 7 & 5 year old boys (from my current marriage that is soon to be over). It definitely changes when it is your own kids. I was 37 when my daughter was born and being older helps me be a better parent because I have more patience and many other traits older adults usually have over younger adults that help them be better parents (except energy).

Also, I honestly believe being transgendered helps me be a much better parent. I have such a higher nurturing instinct that a 'normal' guy does. I have the boys full-time and have had them full-time since before Christmas. I may have them full-time for the rest of their childhood. It's complicated. But, they are NOT lacking in any nurturing aspects and they have always been just as likely to call out for dad in the middle of the night when they had a bad dream than call out for mother. Actually, they'd usually call out for Dad because Mom was a heavier sleeper and I would wake up faster when they called. To say women are better nurturers or that men are better is sort of a sexist thing. In reality it depends a great deal on the specific parents involved.
Would I have a kid if I could become pregnant? Not anymore, I'm 49, almost 50 and too old to have more kids. My original retirement plans had to be modified because if I retired when I had planned I'd still have 14 and 16 year old sons in the house. Nope, gonna back my retirement up by about five to ten years. We'll have to see how they are with college.

[Alice Torn]

The way this world has become, i would have to say "nope". I think there are way too many people, for the world system, based on big cities, and suburbia. My childhood years were very tramatic, too. Part of me likes throwing frisbees, playing sports, with friends' kids, and, i don't hate kids. I know i was one, and still am one!! I f i lived on a farm, and could bear a child, maybe, maybe not.

[Persephone]

I'm a little too old for it now, but there was never a time in my married life when I wouldn't have wanted to have become pregnant and given birth. Would I have done it again and had a second child? That I can't answer.

I was supremely blessed, however, to be the "stay at home 'Mom'" and homemaker while my son was growing up. I took over around the time he started pre-kindergarten and had all of the responsibilities of being "Mom" (only I did it mostly as "Mr. Mom.").

Just recently my spouse, who is the breadwinner, told me that she was jealous of that.

[Kate Simmons]

To answer your question Hon:"Of course".:)

[JenniferR771]

The man who gave birth, did you hear about it? I didn't find the link from about a year ago. HOWEVER, the man was a transexual--who used to be a woman. Never say never. Go figure.

[Caroline22]

I crossdress only occasionally, but all the same, I crossdress and feel very feminine when dressed.
BUT, I as a male, have never wanted kids ( I have lots of nieces and nephews ) AND, even IF I could have a baby as a Woman, I would sure not want one.
Sefish, yes/maybe.
Caroline. UK.

[2b.Lauren]

I feel (and think) that, the dad!, can be as nurturing as the mom. I'm a dad of 3 kids. A 12 year old girl (from 1 marriage) and 7 & 5 year old boys (from my current marriage that is soon to be over). It definitely changes when it is your own kids.

Could not have said it better and could not agree more. I have one daughter she is now 16 and I was a stay at home dad. There was no question in either of our minds as to who was the more nurturing in our household. It simply came to me very easily. My wife was not happier than the day she went back to work after her maturnity leave. My daughter and I have a bond that is similar to that of birth mothers. I can't go as deep, but to her it is pretty close. So to maybe answer the question, yes I would in a moment.

[KimberlyJo]

I have 3 children and I can't say that I would actually want to carry and birth a child. My wife had very difficult pregnancies and births so maybe that spoiled me on the idea. I know it's the miracle of life and some women really connect and love being pregnant, but some don't. I'd probably fall into the "don't" category, lol. But then again, maybe I wouldn't.

If it was possible, I'd probably have to do it just to see what it's really like :D

[lynnmcarthur]

I have said on this forum and elsewhere that every part of being a woman is attractive to me. From the time I read my sister's "Now you are a woman" at an ealy age(8), I have been fascinated with every aspect of women's lives and wished for the chance to experience them all.

I thought in my thirties that I would change over if I could have the whole thing. But by that time I had two sons and would have had a hard time leaving them to follow the TS dream. There were reasons to believe that I would have lost them and all contact with other family if I had so it become impractical to think about it. The other factor was that childbirth would not have been possible and parenting was important to me.

I have been able to do SOME other things to compensate as a parent with my sons and in taking traditionally feminine roles at home but it isn't quite the same, obviously

[Lauren B]

Thanks, but no thanks.

When I was a teenager, I remember telling people that I didn't think I'd ever want kids. They'd always tell me, "Just wait. As you get older, you'll change your mind." Well, 20+ years later, I don't want kids any more now than I did then. For me, it's not a question of gender- it's just my personal preference.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

A good friend of mine --A guy btw...said something many years ago to me..

He was a very wealthy banker, he flew a plane, he climbed mountains, he worked as a street performer...IN SWEDEN!!, he wrote a book, etc etc....
he was truly an amazing achiever..

anyway, my wife was pregnant and we were talking and he said something i would paraphrase as follows..

"my whole life I was searching...i didnt realize it but I kept looking for the next thing...something to give me that feeling that I want as a person but I couldnt seem to get in my life...then elizabeth was born(his first daughter) and I held her in my arms after her first breath and I looked at her and I knew that she what I was looking for. It overwhelmed me and transcended everything before it"

I never forgot that, and I felt exactly the same way when my daughter was born...

[SuzanneBender]

nope. I didn't want any as a male, not gonna say I would as female. Nope. In fact when asked if I would have children I always ask, depends on how they are prepared. I like other peoples children, sorta like I like Disneyland. It is fun for awhile but I don't want to live there

Let me know if you need to do the "Disneyland" thing. I have four (three in the house one in college) and I am sure they would love hanging out in Denver with you for a week or two.


I feel (and think) that, the dad!, can be as nurturing as the mom. I'm a dad of 3 kids. A 12 year old girl (from 1 marriage) and 7 & 5 year old boys (from my current marriage that is soon to be over). It definitely changes when it is your own kids. I was 37 when my daughter was born and being older helps me be a better parent because I have more patience and many other traits older adults usually have over younger adults that help them be better parents (except energy).
Terri call me geriatric, but I have to disagree. I have four wonderful kids. When I was younger I had boundless energy for my children. I could sit on the floor and play Barbies or Toy Soldiers with them for hours. Now I find myself with much less patience for the never ending enthusiasm exuded by a 7 year old. As I have become older and the responsibilities of life demand more of my energy I find that it is more difficult to share what energy is left with my youngest. I will always give him my all but it takes a lot more effort now that I am older. Maybe it is just because I have been a parent from the age of 22 and they are sapping the life out of me! :heehee:


A good friend of mine --A guy btw...said something many years ago to me..

He was a very wealthy banker, he flew a plane, he climbed mountains, he worked as a street performer...IN SWEDEN!!, he wrote a book, etc etc....
he was truly an amazing achiever..

anyway, my wife was pregnant and we were talking and he said something i would paraphrase as follows..

"my whole life I was searching...i didnt realize it but I kept looking for the next thing...something to give me that feeling that I want as a person but I couldnt seem to get in my life...then elizabeth was born(his first daughter) and I held her in my arms after her first breath and I looked at her and I knew that she what I was looking for. It overwhelmed me and transcended everything before it"

I never forgot that, and I felt exactly the same way when my daughter was born...

That is why I ask the question. The four moments that I will remember first as my life flashes before my eyes on my death bed will be the moments that I first held each of my children. Life had no greater meaning than at that moment. However, picture what that feeling is like after you have carried that child in you for nine months and the Doctor places him or her in your arms.

[Lorileah]

Let me know if you need to do the "Disneyland" thing. I have four (three in the house one in college) and I am sure they would love hanging out in Denver with you for a week or two.


I see the Von Trapp family like ducks in a row all marching in line to see the museum...don't touch don't move, don't speak. They would have you on speed dial in an hour :) Ms Bender Ms Suzanne Bender white courtesy telephone. You wouldn't make it to the TSA check before they called you back:devil:

[Chiana]

I have always loved kids. I always wanted kids. But I never had any of my own. I know that I always felt very envious of friends that became pregnant. I always felt some kind of a special bond with them, somehow. It is hard for me to explain. My answer is YES. I think it would be a wonderful experience.

[nikkijo]

Yes...In a heartbeat!

hell id do it just so i could justify thefact thati look 6 months along as it is...

[noeleena]

Hi.
This all so depends on how we are wired . & the saying what will be will be .
For me this has been the case . after Jos & i had our there kids . we tryed again some time after . after two ops . we were at that stage of having an other child . then a miscarrage . i could not say any thing about it as it cut us up real bad . after Jos knew we would not be able to have any more .so after a time .

Jos turned to me & said . ...YOU .. can have the next one . i looked at her & said I will . little did Jos know how deep that hit me . of cause she knows me as a woman .. now . just took a long time . to understand . we have three grown up kids . 30 to 35 . & 7 grand kids .
So haveing said i would . Kaylyn had Dejarn 7 years ago . what Kaylyn does not know . & only women will know what i m saying is she Dejarn is mine .. as to i had & gave birth to her even if Kaylyn gave birth .
Dejarn is so close to me . even closer than our kids .
Women who i talk to know this . that this part of me is the women who i am . as said how i m wired . as a woman . even if i am not a compleat woman .its that. not having your womb . that does not stop us from being women . so yes most deffiently ...YES...words dont convey my inner most thought s about this .
Hard work for Jos in the begining . yes . & after 30 years it still is with our daughter Kaylyn . & to look back yes it is right . what we did .

...noeleena...

[JamieOH]

I must give credit where credit is due. RenieD posts some of the most thought provoking comments on this site. Her GG perspective in contrast to our TG ways always makes me think, often makes me smile and sometimes even causes a tear to come to my eye.

She posted this in an earlier thread:

I was thinking about watching the Mom on the plane last week wrestling as only a mother could with her cute little girl and little boy. I think about all of the times that I have watched mothers look into their baby’s eyes and connect in a way that only a mother can connect. I am a father and have a wonderful relationship with my children. I consider myself very nurturing, but I can never even aspire to the level of nurturing that my wife shows our children. I must admit I am envious. I wish I could know the joy of the miracle of a life growing within you and the connection with the child that comes with that. I know it will never happen and that I shouldn't lament things that will never happen. I also know that pregnancy and motherhood are far from being all peaches and cream, but if I could I would do it tomorrow! Would you?



I wouldnt even bat an eye.. Of course I would.. That would be incredible.. My wife couldnt have children.. She was able to get pregnant, bout would always miscarry.. We have adopted 3 wonderful children, but both of us would love to know that... I always wanted to try to get them to transplant a uterus into me, and let me carry it.. alas, they aint got that one figured out yet.. ;)

[DinaMature]

Would I bear young if I could... no way, never, not for any amount of money, "I won't and you can't make me!!"

[AKAMichelle]

Definitely NOT! I have had enough raising my three boys. I am done and want nothing to do with more babies. Whether I carry them or not.

[Lorileah]

maybe a light at the end of the tunnel for those who said yes

http://www.dallasvoice.com/artman/publish/article_12349.php

[Staci G]

OH Hell NO not me I hate pain and I have raised my children I need Staci time but not Prego Staci...

[Rebecca Jayne]

One of life's mysteries that eludes men, thank God for we are from a planet that rhythms with lackofbrainus.

It is always harder to create than destroy, thank goodness women are better at making life than men are at taking it away.